Tiger Woods Almost Got Pounded With A Wiener

Tiger Woods is usually the dude who does the wiener throwing, but at yesterday’s Frys.com Open he got a taste of his owner wiener medicine when a crazy broke out onto the green to throw a hot dog at him. Watching a hot dog flying down the green is pretty much the closest thing we’ll ever get to watching a Tiger Woods and Rachel Cuchitel fuck tape.

Tiger was just about to put his ball into a hole when the 31-year-old fucktardian hot dog launcher ran toward him and wasted a perfectly good sausage by missing him by 20 feet. Just like what most of us do after we toss our meat, the wiener slinger laid down on the green and waited for security to drag him away. Tiger told reporters afterward, “Some guy just came running on the green, and he had a hot dog. I don’t know how he tried to throw it, but I was kind of focusing on my putt when he started yelling. Next thing I know, he laid on the ground, and looked like he wanted to be arrested.”

That sounds like the synopsis of 99% of my first dates.

You know, you really have to be a new kind of dumb to throw a hot dog at Tiger Woods. It’s a waste of a hot dog, a set of buns and a waste of your own energy. The smart thing to do would’ve been to tip toe onto the green with an open face clam and roast beef taco in your hand. Instead of the headline being “Dumbass Throws Hot Dog At Tiger Woods” it would’ve been “Tiger Woods Throws Himself On An Open Face Clam And Roast Beef Taco.”

Click here to see the video which really doesn’t show shit.