The Truman Show Did It Better
This is Brooklyn-based performance artist Marni Kotak and I know the real story here should be about how she's committing a NOT RIGHT by sitting on the mall Easter Bunny's favorite chair, but that's not what we're here for. Marni is about to fill the air of a Bushwick art gallery with the musty scent of labor shits, pussy sweat, birth blood and the PBR that the art hipsters will be sipping on as they watch her push an entire baby out of her vagina as part of her newest performance art piece. Placenta kabobs and amniotic fluid-tinis will be served afterward, so come with an empty stomach. Or you can just nibble on any flying birthing bits that get stuck in your mohair cardigan.
The Microscope Gallery has already set up a birthing room with a birthing pool and Marni will stay there during business hours until the time comes for her to push out her child. The father of Marni's child, her midwife and who ever wants to see her coochie get ripped apart live will watch the birth. The newest gift to the art world will be born in a few weeks and Marni had this to say about the piece that should really be titled: WHAT BILLIONS OF WOMEN HAVE DONE BEFORE THIS CRAZY HO.
“I hope that people will see that human life itself is the most profound work of art, and that therefore giving birth, the greatest expression of life, is the highest form of art.I have decided to do this because I want to show people that, as in my previous performances, real life is the best performance art. I wouldn’t say that I am scared to do this, because I have a good support team: my midwife, doula and wonderful husband,” she said. “Of course, I am a bit nervous about the whole process of giving birth and having a child, and like every mother, I am hoping that everything goes smoothly.
“But I am no more worried than I would be if I were having the baby at home or in a hospital.”
After the baby of Baby X, Marni will start another performance art piece called "Raising of Baby X."
If this crazy wants people to see her snatch turn inside/out while giving birth and people are willing to pay, then I say push on push on. It's a tax-write off and if she drops a caca during labor, I'm sure it will get its own exhibit at the Whitney.
And note to Beyonce if she wants to shut down the conspiracy theorists: You're due in February. The Grammys are on February 12th. You know what to do.
via Page Six
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oh lord. i couldn't imagine.. when i had my first child i didnt even let my husband in the room lol
I was a performance artist in 1980's New York and when I (much to everyone's surprise and horror) decided to have baby in 1985 I also banned any kind of video devices from the birthing room. Some things are not for sale and it set a precedent for my relationship with my child - family first and show-biz second.
How did I miss this yesterday?
Jesus Christ.
STFU bitch.
Johnny's Girl ... Pregnant women are smug :) that was an awesome song .. .. thanks for that ... Garfunkel and Oats .. good name ... are clever and hilarious.
Signed, Smugly NOT pregnant :)
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"I'm sorry you feel that way ..... may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits"
my mother does not approve of this. enough said.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Um... OK.
I suppose this is a step up from the trick who did some "art exhibit" of her multiple abortions a few years ago.
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WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
PUT IT AWAY!!! You're scarin the kids....
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 7:12am.
"Look what I can do!" like Stewart from that old "In Living Color" skit.
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stewart was mad tv, but i will also take in living color. i quote in living color a lot, but i dont think many people get it.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
that some shelley duvall shit
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
How about the fucktard who ran in the Chicago marathon when she was 39 weeks prego?
Personally, I don't think it was terribly dangerous to the baby; that's not my argument. (If she had been running during her whole pregnancy it was probably fine). It's the utter show-off-ishness that boggles my mind.
When Mr. Hekki and I saw that on the tube this morning, I said:
"Look what I can do!" like Stewart from that old "In Living Color" skit.
Performance artist are simply people that can't draw, paint, sculpt or anything remotely CLOSE to real art.
Hey look, I'm going to stand in the middle of the street and drive 3 nails through an old shoe, not 2 not 4 but three becasue THAT my friends is REAL art!!????WTF
Why not?
I can see how a birth would be a 'work of art'.
In 1959 experimental film artist Stan Brakhage made of a video of his wife giving birth at home. While it's definitely a bit graphic it's an amazingly beautiful piece.
Saw it on a big screen in college and was blown away:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-drSrvTtZ1k
'Performance artist'. Ugh i hate those people SO much. Basically they do mundane things, in public, while surrounded by sycophantic minions who try to make out like its the most profound and amazing thing ever. They are boring, uninteresting people with narcissistic and exhibitionistic tenancies.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 9:21pm.
Why are pregnant women so fucking smug anyway?
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I wasn't but some of them get worse after the baby is born. You should see the baby carriage bitches on the metro train. They expect people to move off seats so they can park their monster carriages (the seats that pull down) Fuck 'em! I move for old people or people walking with toddlers if there's no where else to sit or people on crutches or....fuck 'em! If they weren't so snobby, I would be more willing to move. The people with bikes are awful, too, but that's another post. :D
There was a lady where I used to work who talked about her little girl all. the. time. Bitch, you aren't the first person to have a first child. Your child isn't perfect. Do you hear me talking about my kids? No, because I want to have a fucking adult conversation about adult things. Gaah! I feel with you all who choose not to have kids and have to put up with those of us who do have them. ;)
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 1:13am.
I know, I've set fire to my hair on many occasions (don't ask)...
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Careful with the hairs around the hidey hole.
Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 12:51am.
I know, I've set fire to my hair on many occasions (don't ask). In her case, I would keep a bucket of sand at hand of course. I'm not a complete savage.
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 11:36pm.
I want to smack her silly, or set her hair on fire. The arty types tend to have that effect on me, but then again, I'm a Philistine all the way.
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Burnt hair smells awful.
Submitted by Snow Owl on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 12:15am.
Art, schmart, fart, barf....no ones going to turn up I bet.
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Nah, that's my and Evil Digby's next day trip. Sometimes the park or the zoo or the museum isn't enough.
oh no, there will be plenty of people there. i'm pretty sure i know at least a few fucktards that would attend something like this, just to talk about it. the best part is this poor kid has to grow up with this as their mom, knowing that a bunch of ultra hipster idiots stood around and watched you being born. ugh fucking hipsters. i feel homicidal.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Art, schmart, fart, barf....no ones going to turn up I bet.
The poster formerly known as NIGHTOWL
Whatever bitch. This also happens about once a year in Arkansas in the Duggar Compound. Now that is a placenta dropping artiste.
I hope no one turns up. It will deflate her massive ego and self importance.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 11:04pm.
I'd rather watch a mime with his hands tied behind his back.
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Ha, ha!!!
I want to smack her silly, or set her hair on fire. The arty types tend to have that effect on me, but then again, I'm a Philistine all the way.
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
God I hate pretentious (spelling?) "artists" like this. I soooo want to kick her ass!
I'd rather watch a mime with his hands tied behind his back.
What a self-righteous, narcissistic asshole this woman is. "I have a vagina! I'm somehow significant!" "No, you don't understand, THIS IS ART!"
What's she gonna do next? Go to an Occupy Wall Street rally, swing her placenta around while her baby suckles at her nips? Claim it's art because "IT'S LIKE THE REBIRTH OF A NEW MOVEMENT, AND SINCE MY BABY IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF ART, THIS IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT THING EVER."
This world is slowly turning me into a nihilist.
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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Alright I've got it now:
It takes more effort NOT to get pregnant than to get pregnant. Especially if one is (ahem) active.
I would like to announce that I am now a birth-control artist. I will video myself taking the pill each day, not being pregnant, and getting my period once a month. My boyfriend and gynecologist will be co-stars.
ART! It's ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!
(do I have to move to Brooklyn?)
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 9:12pm.
Only in Brooklyn. *eyeroll*
(I'm actually from Brooklyn)
However, they should require all high school students to see this exhibit. Would make those horny kids think twice about not wrapping it up.
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It would only be a deterrent for the girls. The boys would go "yuck" but they would shrug and say "not my problem" and still try to fuck the girls.
Horny teenage boys are horny.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen
"...or the baby's arm comes out her ass (YES, it has happened, as a medical transcriptionist I can attest to typing up this report)"
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HOLY SHIT that made me laugh.
*decides right now to adopt rather than give birf*
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 9:16pm.
Wait, is ANYTHING that comes out of a cooch a work of art?
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Shush you!
*polishes framed, velvet-backed, pin-mounted period raisin collection*
@ agirl:
I've posted this on here a few times before, but it bears repeating. A funny song by female musical comedy duo Garfunkel and Oates, called "pregnant Women Are Smug:"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8
(Of course, I don't think ALL pregnant women are smug, but some of them make me wanna slap a bitch)
Oh man is this woman a piece of work. Here's her own description of one of her other pieces, entitled "Jason Robert Bell Is the Greatest Lover in the World:"
"For the 2011 Bushwick Site Fest, I presented a tribute to my lover, Jason Robert Bell: a 20ft. inflatable sculpture installed on the roof of my building."
VOM. A raging narcissist, more like. I hope Baby X runs away and becomes a Young Republican.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Why are pregnant women so fucking smug anyway?
So you had unsafe sex and your reproductive system is in working order. So what?
You can get pregnant against your will (many do!) and really, it requires no effort on the part of the woman to get pregnant. She could sleep through the whole conception. It takes more effort to make a sandwich.
Why is this considered an I'm-better-than-you-are accomplishment?
Signed, Very Careful About Birf Control
Wait, is ANYTHING that comes out of a cooch a work of art?
What about things that go in?
What about things that go in and out and in and out...? How 'bout other, ummmm, orifices?
*contemplates new career as "artist"*
Hilarity would ensue if no one showed up. ha ha ha!
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by Jintess on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 5:58pm.
Am I the only one who associates the words "performance art" with "this is going to suck"?
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AMEN!
Only in Brooklyn. *eyeroll*
(I'm actually from Brooklyn)
However, they should require all high school students to see this exhibit. Would make those horny kids think twice about not wrapping it up.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Caca during labor - OMG no, LOL. That is why childbirth should be done in secret. BECAUSE NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WANTS TO SEE THAT SHIT. Literally and figuratively.
Also, a midwife AND a doula? Aren't they the same thing? (too lazy to Google, plus I get all my info from Dlisted) That's like having a physician AND a doctor, amirite?
“I hope that people will see that human life itself is the most profound work of art, and that therefore giving birth, the greatest expression of life, is the highest form of art."
No, you just want attention.
Now put your about-to-burst coochie that no one wants to see away, and (as Father Merrin said in "The Exorcist") "BE SILENT!"
What an idiot. No one wants to see that except whackos. So you're exposing your child to scum in the first seconds of its life. Good for you.
-"Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 6:41pm.
Hey Jintess!! {{hugs back}}
Art students can be a self possessed bunch, the performance art students are intolerable. It's just attention seeking. I have little respect for any art form that relies on shock value rather than genuine talent."
Exactly! And CaCa is one fine example. She doesn't help their cause either. The whole lot I've known are the least talented snobbish assholes I've met.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 6:02pm.
Uh, how is this revolutionary?
.............
right? my next door neighbor is a labor/delivery nurse, so when I went to hospital, it was her, 3 other neighborhood friends/women, my mom and my husband in there with me.
Apparently, I'm an artist!
No Thank You.
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
Ah, never mind. I am watching last weeks eppy. The one where that dumbass woman was showing off her 25,000 sunglasses.
The poster formerly known as NIGHTOWL
Kim is SUPERHIGH. I would love to know what she is taking. She acts like a drunk, so i don`t know WTH.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Regarding the Housewives of BH: is the episode where Brandi is saying that that's the weekend that Eddie and Leann r getting married?
The poster formerly known as NIGHTOWL
UBF, those Hilton sisters are G.H.E.T. to the T.O., okay? After the next commercial break, Brandi has the nerve to notice that Kim is as high as a kite and points it out to the group, and the sisters stand up, both pointing their fingers at her and rolling their heads on their necks (that won't take to Botox, dammit!).
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 7:24pm.
Am I the only ho who is watching the Housewifes? fuckery? Lol, Brandie is about to argue motherfuckers into the ground...
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I just turned it on. Kim is drunk; yeah!!!! Lisa's husband Ken needs to hang that hair up.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 7:23pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 6:27pm.
I have a limited tolerance to all forms of performance art.
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Isn't having an alt sort of like performance art? (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)
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LOL
I also LOL'd at your C&P performance art in the OP. :)