I Love To Neigh At Weddings!

Brenda Song is keeping her lips shut to public ears about whether or not her uterus is playing the lullaby version of the Mr. Ed theme song, but her now fiance Trace Cyrus is telling the world that the wedding march version of the Mr. Ed theme song will soon play in the Cyrus stables, because they're getting mare-eeeeeed! It's as Peter Shaffer rewrote Equus and gave it the happy ending it really deserves. The emo scarecrow let this out on Twitter today:

I am very excited to say, last week I asked my girlfriend Brenda Song to marry me and she said YES! We are both very excited to be engaged!

The thing about horse's being hung must be true, because why else would Brenda willingly marry into a fucked up family that is more horrifying than the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family. I mean, at Thanksgiving she'll have Billy Ray on one side smacking on Corn Pops while he has a staring contest with her nipples and on the other side she'll have Noah Cyrus singing a Peaches song in between gnawing on a neck bone. But Brenda obviously liked it enough to put a rein on it, so congrats to her! And I, for one, can't wait for Mai Song's dramatic A STAIN ON THIS HORSE monologue about this mess.

via UsWeekly

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by kitapbigi on Mon, 12/10/2012 - 1:45pm.

"To me, Sally Struthers seems like the kind of party girl who goes to a crowded bar by herself, guzzles down Singapore Sling after Singapore Sling and dances like the wild wild woman she is to Paradise By The Dashboard Light before passing out after last call in a dark booth in the back."

OMFG!! It's like MK's been watching the security cameras in my hometown bar. That's some straight up Midwest townie bar shit right there!

evim şahane-20 dakika izle-chat-20 dakika-evim şahane-evim şahane-evim şahane

Submitted by didimao on Sun, 10/16/2011 - 1:44pm.

*hurls

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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09

Submitted by Neurotic on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 7:14pm.

Brenda, you dumb slut! OMG, run!

Hey wasn't it her future sister in law who made racist comments about Asians?

Submitted by BBGemini on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 6:32pm.

She "liked it enough to put a rein on it"? Holy hell MK, THAT is amazing.

Submitted by CryWolf on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 3:18pm.

Miley should be thankful. She apparently got the hot gene while Trace answers the age old question left behind at the end of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. What really happened to Ichabod Crane? He screwed the horse and out popped Trace Cyrus.

Submitted by betterthanyomama on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 1:30pm.

Pregnant...there really is no other explanation. She probably hooked up with him for some Cyrus cash and to piss off her tiger mom, but in the end it's going to be her stuck at a hill billy thanksgiving with a group of children that look like ponies with marker drawn all over their faces hollering, "Maw Muh! Maw Muh! Thems ma kin folks a eatin ma possum agen! Daggum Maw Muh!". She won't notice through the vodka Vicodin cloud she will have to immerse herself into to keep from running in front of a bus daily, but we'll know...we'll all know.

Submitted by Versailles on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 8:45am.

Submitted by Hellraiser on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 7:22am.
I don't have an opinion on Trace since I know nothing about him except he is a Cyrus
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He does not have the Cyrus DNA, Billy Ray is not his bio father.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 8:08am.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 7:48am.

You win the internets.

*______________________________________*

"Slut, you're not fooling anyone pretending like your knees actually know each other." -- Sinjin

Submitted by MrrKat on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 7:19am.

Submitted by ba-buttons on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 5:24pm.
...Hell, back in the day, it was social stigma like this that led to the millions of loveless marriages that made this country great!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! Dammit, Ba-Buttons! Now you made me spit coffee all over the monitor.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 6:18am.

Back when I was a kid, life was going swell.
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek."

Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck."
Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck.
And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak,
It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek."

You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek.

(chorus)
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak,
scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique.
He's a one man, no gut, loosing streak.
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek.

Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town.
You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick.

One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.

chorus

Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground.
So keep the faith 'cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust.

chorus

They say, "these geeks come a dime a dozen."
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplin' the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
sleezy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.

Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.

... fred blassie

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by Kandykane on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 6:13am.

Brenda Song has peaked. A forgettable role in 'The Social Network' and marrying Trace Cyrus is the pinnacle and she'd better get on it and get that pony into the starting gate.

Submitted by Hellraiser on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 5:52am.

I don't have an opinion on Trace since I know nothing about him except he is a Cyrus but I will never forgive his sister for downlow fucking on my Nickelodeon crush, Avan Jogia. Yes, I am technically old enough to be his mother but I'd still fuck that kid until he cries. _________________________________________________

"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."

Submitted by snowball on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 3:58am.

The baby can only look like something from the yak family.

Submitted by rovex on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 3:44am.

Well ill give him this, at least he has more imagination than to have the usual boring iPhone. However if there is one person you don't want to see in pictures taken on a 3D phone, its him.

Submitted by Chris Knight on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 1:19am.

Looks like her abortion brought them really closer, lol. Losers...

Submitted by 18thCenturyFox on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 9:58pm.

She's cute in the way my Parrot Cichlid is cute. Horses and fishes mating, this reminds me of an old Country Bear Jamboree sketch.

" The thing about love is you're always at its mercy"

Submitted by Whatever on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 9:26pm.

Fug couple alert! She must be marrying him for Miley's money.

Submitted by Picasso1 on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 8:19pm.

If he didn't belong to the Cyrus family, then she would have nothing to do with him.

Submitted by harveyprice on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 7:55pm.

They should have beautiful children because they are both ugly as fuck. Her face looks like someone repeatedly smacked it with a board and he...well, it's been stated.

Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 7:46pm.

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 8:18pm.
I wonder how her mother feels about this. My friend is Korean and her parents didn't want her to marry someone outside of her race. Her husband asked her father for her hand about five times before he caved and said yes...and the wedding was fucking awkward. Her relatives were clearly not pleased about the situation.
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I once read some statistics that out of all Asian American groups, Korean women are the most likely to marry a white man (as opposed to Chinese, Japanese or Indian women).

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 6:57pm.

She is muuuchh toooo pretty to be settling for this specimen. does not compute.

Submitted by elmo533 on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 6:54pm.

It must be love. Or she is truly dickmatized. With all those tattoos she's got somewhere interesting to rest her eyes during fuck times as long as she doesn't look at the ones above his neck.

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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 6:48pm.

I wonder how her mother feels about this. My friend is Korean and her parents didn't want her to marry someone outside of her race. Her husband asked her father for her hand about five times before he caved and said yes...and the wedding was fucking awkward. Her relatives were clearly not pleased about the situation.

Dude must be hung because he is FUG and she is kind of cute.

Submitted by Fujicat on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 6:09pm.

At first I thought Tra-ace (said like Bla-ake) was marrying Telia Tequila: The cleaned-up version.

Is he closeted, and she a beard? I've never seen anyone make tattoos and leather look so..tacky.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..

Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 6:00pm.

How the hell does she fuck him?? I burst into laughter everytime I see him.
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But this IS my alt!

Submitted by BitchHouse on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 5:36pm.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 6:30pm.
With his ten foot long face and her ten foot wide face I hope they're opening up a cosmetic surgery trust fund for that poor child.
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Baha! Reason why Beyonce is the tireless worker bee. I always wondred why that bitch don't take a few decades long sabbatical, she doing it for her fucking baby aww

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 5:25pm.

I might pay to see Noah Cyrus singing a Peaches song in between gnawing on a neck bone.

Submitted by SitInACorner on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 5:21pm.

He has Dudley Moore hair by way of Monica Gellar in the early days of Friends. YIKES.

And I don't think those are tattoos, that's just the mark left behind when they took the reins off after his morning gallop.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 5:19pm.

Brenda Song is so gorgeous! Why would she go for him?!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 5:00pm.

With his ten foot long face and her ten foot wide face I hope they're opening up a cosmetic surgery trust fund for that poor child.

Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:58pm.

ack no! I love this girl, she is fucking funny! what? I've got a son, I have to watch Disney, okay! This girl has had me in tears, she's hilarious.
___________________________
Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK

Submitted by JewJewBean on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:57pm.

That mother of hers is probably shitting out bricks right about now.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:40pm.

The Cyrus boy does have nice eyes but the rest is a mess. The girl has a bad nose job and his nose is...if there's a kid it will have interesting features.

**************************************************
Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami

Submitted by BitchHouse on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:37pm.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:51pm.
He's all angles and she's the complete opposite.
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dick and balls
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.

Submitted by BitchHouse on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:35pm.

The thing about horse's being hung must be true, because why else would Brenda willingly marry into a fucked up family that is more horrifying than the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family.

-----
YEAAAP bitch is dickmatized. I know, been there. Totally fucked up dude or situation but the dick…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:17pm.

It's sorta on topic, and it's way more interesting thant either of these hos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2cat4kykzI&feature=player_detailpage

*______________________________________*

"Slut, you're not fooling anyone pretending like your knees actually know each other." -- Sinjin

Submitted by Vanilla cupcake on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:16pm.

He is so unfortunate looking. Out of all the Cyrus kids, Miley is by far the luckiest considering the gene pool. I guess neither of them could afford to buy a condom or use birth control.

Submitted by Haribo on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:16pm.

Horses are such beautiful animals but people who look like them not so much. Homegirl should put on trace's hooves and gallop away as quick as she can.

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by BabyJane on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:13pm.

Sooo disappointing. She could have hooked one of those Russian billionaires like Naomi Campbell did, and she settles for THIS!********************************************

I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:10pm.

Hasn't she been pregnant for about 4 or 5 months now? When is she going to start showing?

************
Wander This World

Submitted by Hotmami on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:57pm.

She is pregnant. We all know how well these kinds of marriages work out. Reese Witherspoon can tell Ms. Song here all about the shotgun wedding success rate.

Except for the Alba/Warren union...they seem to be working and still in love with each othe even though she made him marry her after she got pregnant with Honor.

***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Submitted by notreallyworking on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:57pm.

Is that the "new thing"? if you know you will never have to work a full days honest work again, you get a gangster tattoo on your face? I hope they have 100's of children to repopulate the world with.

Cut the head off
Grows back hard
I am the hydra
Now you'll see your star

Submitted by ba-buttons on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:54pm.

Submitted by Lovers Keep On ... on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 4:50pm.

Does this mean she really is knocked up?

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I would assume this, yes. It has a quaint, old school quality to it - a glaringly obvious, premature shotgun wedding between two idiot kids, to legitamize the perils of pre-marital sex.

Hell, back in the day, it was social stigma like this that led to the millions of loveless marriages that made this country great!!

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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."

Submitted by bethyboom on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:52pm.

i'm pretty sure he tricked her. in some pic i saw of her engagement ring, she has an anchor tattooed on her hand. she most likely has always wanted to marry a sailor. and don't all sailors have tons of tattoos? i can totally see how she bought it.....

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:48pm.

Not only is his "look" stupid, he got swatted around by Ye Olde Uglye Sticke many, many times.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by unemployed_bum on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:47pm.

Is that real hair on his head?

Submitted by Courtney Stodden on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:41pm.

Clear the way...the horse is spooked!

Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:35pm.

Fuck my eyes, that man is ugly.

Moody Blues

Submitted by ritzyroxie on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:35pm.

I might want to see this wedding. E! or Animal Planet take note!

*runs off to name pretend daughter Mai Song*

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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11

YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 3:31pm.

If you look more normal when you make a funny face, that should tell you something.