Lindsay Lohan's New Addition To Her Mug Shot Gallery Of Beauty
Lindsay Lohan is one flash closer to dethroning Khia as the mug shot queen (and also one flash closer to becoming the new Faces of Meth timeline) thanks to this glamour portrait she posed for yesterday afternoon after Judge Stephanie Sautner took back her probation again and ordered her into a pair of handcuffs (which I hope she stole and stashed in her chonies to sell on eBay later). This is the sixth (the fifth one we've seen) picture of pride that is sitting inside of a frame on White Oprah's mantel. I have to say this isn't LiLo's best work in front of the mug shot camera. You can give better mug shot, bitch!
The good news is that somebody took a Baby Wipe and some Desitin to those diarrhea streaks that were scooted on her cheeks. The bad news is that this is some Who Ya Gonna Call? shit. Bitch looks like she should have one of those red NO symbols over her for several reasons. It's like Lurch time warped into the early 80s for some good coke. One cheek is stepping to the left and the other cheek is stepping to the right.
Meanwhile, as soon as LiLo stomped on the floor of the courthouse, out came a pussy-kicking roach who ran straight to the media to give his expert opinion on why his daughter's teeth look like she's rinsing her mouth out with the water from a broken toilet in a rest stop bathroom. Michael Lohan said this to Jane Velez-Mitchell on her HLN (via Radar) show yesterday:
“She’s an addict, she doesn’t care and she’s in denial. She’s smoking either crack or meth, either one or the other. I’m not going to shade it. I want her in a treatment program for a year. Nothing is going to change in her life. She’s going to be appearing before judges in the future if she doesn’t get help, instead of doing community service in the morgue she’s going to wind up in the morgue."
I'm not one to defend LiLo's dumb bitch crack antics, but if I had a father who looked like the dried foreskin from a turtle's dick and couldn't stop opening his trash hole to the media about what a fucked up mess I am, I would permanently move into a sauna that only puffed out crack smoke. Oh, fuck me in the think hole, I just gave LiLo an idea.
• 
At some point Michael Lohan was telling everyone that his daughter was on painkillers. Guess she switched to something speedier. Thanks for clearing that up for everyone, Dad!
Wondering when he'll consider Ali important enough to speculate publicly about her anorexia or whatever drug's wasting her away.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
it's sickening to see this petty criminal still roaming free. thanks for posting her rap sheet, snowpiece. this piece of trash has stolen approximately $1m worth of goods and hasn't paid her dues back to society. it's disgusting.
and I agree with whomever said she.should get sent to court outside of hollywood. let this bitch get a taste of real justice in some real hardass judge's district....some remote texas or alaskan county.
Someone really needs to make and market a set of Mug Shot Coffee Mugs, one for each of these pics! :D
Thank God they washed that stupid bronzer off her cheeks!
How is it possible for someone allegedly alive to look *worse* in a mugshot than a doornail-dead Gaddafi did after his face was crushed underneath the feet of 40,000 dancing Libyans?
LMFTO @ Howdareyou's avie!!
OT: Call me when Blohan O.D.s - I like a good laugh.
HB to Tom Petty
You all may disagree, but this is probably the best she's looked in a mug shot imo, in an emotionless drugged up way of course. My guess is that she's had so many mug shots that she knows what makeup to use for whatever lighting (never been arrested, so I wouldn't know).
Is it just me or did she look like she had a five-o-clock shadow in her first mug shot?
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
put this turd in jail long enough to make her go through a cold turkey withdrawal! then put her in a mandatory rehab for at least a year. otherwise, she is done. her story is going to end up like layne staley's!!!
OK, in all seriousness?
When you look better in your mug shots than in day to day life...
you REALLY need to re-consider your stylist's salary.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 11:27am.
Her latest tweet...
October 20, 2011
With all of the stress and pressure from yesterday and today, I've never been so happy to go to therapy!!!! Also, I'm sorry for the confusion that I may of caused to those at the Coroner's office. Won't happen again, now I know where to go! Thank you for your help.
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Did she really say: "I may OF caused"? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
She is so photogenic. Who else looks good in a mug shot?
Looking at Lindsay's mugshots makes me wonder if she dyed her hair blonde to look like her mother. I wish the judge had demanded a drug test on the spot yesterday. Lindsay looked higher than Sly Stone.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 11:58am.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHA!!!11
Crackie isn't able to remember her lies well enough anymore to keep them straight. BWAHAHAAH!
WHO THE FUCK is her publicist? Wouldn't he or she go back in the rolodex of used excuses to double check this shit?
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They used the cards to scrape that brown muck off her face in time for her latest close-up.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkien.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 11:42am.
Latest Refute of LiLo's Excuse (at TMZ):
Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter thinks Lindsay Lohan's latest excuse -- that she was late to the morgue because she had trouble finding the entrance to the Coroner's office -- is a big pile of dog crap.
As we reported, Lindsay's publicist just released a statement -- claiming Lindsay's tardiness was "due to a combination of not knowing the entrance to go through and confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival."
But Winter just told reporters -- there's no way Lindsay was confused about anything ... because she's been to the Coroner's office before.
And, Winter claims, the Coroner's office even went out of their way to avoid confusion -- giving the actress specific step-by-step directions on where to go.
Coroner 1, LiLo 0.
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BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHA!!!11
Crackie isn't able to remember her lies well enough anymore to keep them straight. BWAHAHAAH!
WHO THE FUCK is her publicist? Wouldn't he or she go back in the rolodex of used excuses to double check this shit?
TEAM ED WINTER
SO HAWT!
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/20/coroner-ed-winter-lindsay-lohan-late-morgu...
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
I never really wish death on anybody but I'm so sick of this bitch. She has has no remorse. And now that I've read through all the shit she's done (I lost track, thanks Snowpiece) I don't know how she had enough money/blowjobs to get away with all this shit.
Was her momma at yesterday's court date? I did not see her.
I assume that since she has totally fucked this one in the head that she is now moving onto "caring for" Ali and brother Michael. Lyndsay is old used news and momma know it.
How do you market yourself as an actress when your only recent work has been modeling for the sheriff's office?...5 mugshots? Really?
Bitch, it is over. I would feel sorry for you, but I cannot. You had access to success and you fucked it up. Damn, girl. Damn.
ETA: Ooops, I did not spell her name correctly, but I do not give a shit enough to change it...I would rather take the 5 minutes it took to type this explanation than the 5 secs it would have taken to change a "y" for an "i". Truth.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Damn Lilo you got called out!!
BITCH BE LYING!
Latest Refute of LiLo's Excuse (at TMZ):
Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter thinks Lindsay Lohan's latest excuse -- that she was late to the morgue because she had trouble finding the entrance to the Coroner's office -- is a big pile of dog crap.
As we reported, Lindsay's publicist just released a statement -- claiming Lindsay's tardiness was "due to a combination of not knowing the entrance to go through and confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival."
But Winter just told reporters -- there's no way Lindsay was confused about anything ... because she's been to the Coroner's office before.
And, Winter claims, the Coroner's office even went out of their way to avoid confusion -- giving the actress specific step-by-step directions on where to go.
Coroner 1, LiLo 0.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkien.
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PSL, didn't she say at one time that she couldn't afford the court-mandated therapy? Guess she sucked a few more sheiks between then and now.
How hasn't she run out of money?
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Ahaha, snowy... glad I could make you laugh. ♥
All she cares about is having a good mugshot, and it is not bad! i'm jealous.
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Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 11:25am.
I agree that as big of a loser as Michael Lohan is, he is the only one who gives a shit about his daughter.
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ITA! He is the lesser of the evils, among so many.
ESE was a wild boy. Who knew?
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 11:12am.
Someone posted this on TMZ, apologize for the length but it's worth it:
LOHAN Biography of Civil Disobedience
That's more than I remember of her fuck ups..great post.
Zero tolerance is the only way for her.
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Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
"April 30, 2010: She now has 8 days to complete her final 4 classes. "
LOO. ZER. All she had to do was complete 4 CLASSES and she would have been free to go shop, turn tricks, OD or whatever the fuck she wanted to.
IG...she actually is showing up to therapy?
wow.
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"She's supposed to be an actress, from what I hear."
-Judge Stephanie Sautner
Thanks guys!
IG I posted your "Dear Dairy" letter on FB last night and we all had a good chuckle!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 11:27am.
Her latest tweet...
October 20, 2011
With all of the stress and pressure from yesterday and today, I've never been so happy to go to therapy!!!! Also, I'm sorry for the confusion that I may of caused to those at the Coroner's office. Won't happen again, now I know where to go! Thank you for your help.
OK, Lindsay, all is forgiven. I think my eyes just rolled to the back of my head.
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Same lame ass excuses. It's NEVER HER FAULT!
I think my eyes rolled so far back they fell out my ass.
GG here are two good clips
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/19/lindsay-lohan-livestream-showdown-in-court...
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
@ Gardening Girl
Yesterday's court hearing
Here it is:
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/19/lindsay-lohan-livestream-showdown-in-court...
Maybe those damn judges should read what Snowy posted.
Unfuckingbelievable.
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Dancing around the corpse of my hopes and dreams.
Her latest tweet...
October 20, 2011
With all of the stress and pressure from yesterday and today, I've never been so happy to go to therapy!!!! Also, I'm sorry for the confusion that I may of caused to those at the Coroner's office. Won't happen again, now I know where to go! Thank you for your help.
OK, Lindsay, all is forgiven. I think my eyes just rolled to the back of my head.
Gardening Girl - TMZ probably has it.
I agree that as big of a loser as Michael Lohan is, he is the only one who gives a shit about his daughter.
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"She's supposed to be an actress, from what I hear."
-Judge Stephanie Sautner
Wish LL could be incarcerated for a lengthy stay in an low population state with strict drug laws far from CA. Do real time with inmates unimpressed with celebrity, too far away for frequent visits from enablers. Otherwise, it's troubling to imagine what she might look like in ten years as beauty fades, money dries up, increasingly dangerous predators appear on the long road downhill, the humiliating favors expected in exchange for what is considered necessary. Recently was looking at mugshots online...countless photos of females over thirty with long rap sheets, many appeared to have once been beautiful, reduced to glassy eyed zombies....stringy hair, open sores, missing teeth, scary scars, ugly tattoos. So much potential wasted; a common story oft repeated. Time can be cruel and unmerciful. I'l say a prayer for Lindsay.
Damn DP
@ snowpiece
Dayum that bitch has been busy. If only she had the same amount of energy to work instead of being a druggie. Oh well.
Snowy - I did a cut and paste on that shit. None of us would have gotten away with even an 1/8th of that shit.
Celebrity justice is BULLSHIT!
Anybody know where I can see the court session? I missed it.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 11:12am.
This basically sums up 6 years of blatant disrespect of the law and those who were assigned to uphold it. I've already lost all faith in the Dutch judicial system. Here's hoping that the US judge will set an example for her peers worldwide to follow. Zero tolerance to anti-social behaviour.
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
Snowy, your post has succeeded in completely enraging me. How TF did this piece of sh*t stay out of jail? God, I hate Hollywood judges!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by justincase on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 10:59am.
Btw - MK's comment about the right and left cheek stepping off in different directions is apparent also in the court pix from yesterday. It's as if her right side and eyeball is puffing out and the left side is collapsing
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speaking from a perspective of someone who used to love the smell of cocaine, and beared the snorting of saline solution because of it... i'd say that she has a bad case of sinusitis... oh, and whatever cheap shit she's having injected into her face too.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Someone posted this on TMZ, apologize for the length but it's worth it:
LOHAN Biography of Civil Disobedience
October 4, 2005: Lindsay, then 19, crashes her Mercedes into the passenger side of a van that was pulling into traffic in West Hollywood. Lindsay, her passenger and the driver of the van were briefly hospitalized for minor injuries. She is not ticketed.
Jan. 4, 2006: Tells Vanity Fair she has an eating disorder and has used drugs.
July 26, 2006: Lindsay is hospitalized for “heat exhaustion” while filming ‘Georgia Rule’, though it’s widely assumed she’s actually just hungover and/or still drunk, and the movies producer writes an open letter telling her to knock it off.
Dec. 1, 2006: Dina Lohan tells Ryan Seacrest that Lindsay is in AA, but not because she has a problem. She says Lindsay only goes to meetings to hang out with her friends.
Dec. 12, 2006: Lindsay tells People she’s been in AA for a year and hasn’t had a drink in a week.
January 17, 2007: checks into drug rehab for the first time.
February 16, 2007: checks out of rehab, immediately goes to a bar until 4am.
March 6, 2007: is taped using cocaine in the bathroom of a London club.
March 16, 2007: parties and drinks champagne at a club in New York. She’s still underage at this point.
May 15, 2007: reportedly stole over $10,000 in clothes and jewelry from a 22-year-old model named Lauren Hastings.
May 26, 2007: is arrested for drunk driving after crashing her Mercedes convertible in Beverly Hills at 5:30am. She then left the scene of the accident. Police also found a “usable” amount of cocaine in her car. It’s her third car crash in two years.
May 28, 2007: checks into drug rehab for the second time.
July, 14, 2007: checks out of rehab. That very same day she goes to Vegas and parties at Pure.
July 24, 2007: while high on cocaine, Lindsay goes on a high speed chase in a stolen Denali down PCH, reaching speeds of 100 miles per hour, that ends when a woman calls Santa Monica police saying Lohan is trying to run her down with a car. Lindsay is arrested on five counts, including driving under the influence of alcohol, driving on a suspended license and possession of narcotics. Police again find cocaine, this time in her pocket. Lindsay tells police they aren’t her pants.
July 25, 2007: checks into drug rehab for the third time.
August 3, 2007: a report says Lindsay lost a Louis Vuitton endorsement deal because she kept stealing their clothes during photo shoots.
August 23, 2007: Lohan gets charged with seven misdemeanor counts for her two DUI arrests earlier that year. She reaches a plea deal, saying she would spend one day in jail, serve 10 days of community service and complete a drug-treatment program. Lohan is placed on 36 months’ probation and required to complete an 18-month alcohol-education program and pay a $300 fine.
October 5, 2007: checks out of rehab for the third time.
November 15, 2007: begins her 1 day jail sentence, her punishment for getting two DUI’s just two months apart, including the car chase in a stolen car while high on coke. She’s released 84 minutes later due to overcrowding.
December 31, 2007: In a video posted on TMZ, Lohan drinks straight from a bottle of champagne while partying in Italy.
May 6, 2008: steals an $11,000 fur coat from a party in New York; is later photographed wearing it.
October 2008: a civil lawsuit is filed against Lindsay by three people who were in the Denali during her July 24, 2007, DUI arrest.
March 13, 2009: Warrant for her arrest issued regarding possible parole violations (alleged failure to attend counseling).
March 25, 2009: Lindsay is photographed wearing a stolen earring.
March 16, 2009: Warrant is recalled after Lindsay’s lawyer clears up the “misunderstanding.”
June 16, 2009: after Lindsay does a photo shoot for Elle magazine, $400,000 in diamonds that were used in the shoot are missing.
October 16, 2009: Lohan shows up more than an hour late to a probation hearing in Beverly Hills for a progress review on her two DUI cases. She has yet to complete the alcohol counseling program she was ordered to attend in August, but is given another year to do so. The judge warns Lindsay she will go to jail if she keeps skipping meetings and “thumbing her nose” at the court.
February 8, 2010 According to her probation report, Lindsay failed a drug test a month after leaving rehab.
February 22, 2010: Lindsay admits to using cocaine.
April 14, 2010: skips a court ordered deposition related to civil suit. She is photographed out shopping.
April 21, 2010: misses a second deposition related to civil suit; says she couldn’t get a ride to court by 10 a.m. Was photographed at 2:30 a.m. leaving a club.
April 23, 2010: named a suspect in the theft of a $35,000 Rolex, is later photographed wearing it.
April 30, 2010: has yet to complete her alcohol education classes, which is a violation of her probation. She now has 8 days to complete her final 4 classes. These are the same classes she was ordered to attend in August of 2007. She was given 18 months to attend 13 classes. She’s attended 9 in three years.
May 4, 2010: shows up 22-minutes late for the third attempt at the civil-case deposition; was at Chateau Marmont the night before until 2am.
May 19, 2010: with 3 more alcohol education classes yet to be completed and only one day to do it, Lindsay goes to France and stays for almost a week. This is a direct violation of her probation.
May 20, 2010: Photos surface of Lindsay and what appears to be cocaine on a table and rolled up dollar bills in her hand
May 24, 2010: back in court, Lindsay is not sent to jail after repeatedly violating her probation, but instead is made to wear a bracelet to detect alcohol, a ban on drinking and random weekly drug testing.
June 8, 2010: her alcohol monitor bracelet goes off, indicating that Lindsay is drinking. An arrest warrant is issued, but she posts a $200,000 bail before it is carried out.
July 6, 2010: Lohan is sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab for violating her probation and skipping her alcohol education classes. “I did everything that I was told to do and did the best I could,” Lindsay tells the judge.
July 20, 2010: Lindsay begins her 90 day jail sentence. 12 days later, she’s released due to over crowding.
August 2, 2010: begins her court ordered 90 day drug rehab. 23 days later, she’s released.
August 26, 2010: is given stricter probation terms, including random drug testing.
September 17, 2010: fails a drug test, testing positive for cocaine. This is a direct violation of her probation.
September 24, 2010: instead of going to jail, Lindsay is fitted with another alcohol detection bracelet and allowed to live at home while awaiting a full hearing for her parole violation.
October 22, 2010: is given yet another warning by a judge, and instead of jail, is again sent to rehab, this time for 90 days. Is told by the judge that if she drinks or violates her probation in any way, she will be sent to jail for 180 days. Later, her probation report would reveal that Lindsay drank while in rehab and tested positive for alcohol use one month after leaving rehab. No charges are ever filed.
December 12, 2010: Lindsay is allegedly caught sneaking out of rehab and going to a bar, and then hits the rehab staff member who confronts her.
January 3, 2011: Lohan finishes her fourth stay in rehab and moves into an apartment in Venice, California.
January 4, 2011: The Riverside County Sheriff’s Department determines that Lindsay Lohan violated probation during her time in rehab by leaving the property, drinking, and assaulting a staff member. No charges are ever filed.
January 22, 2011: Lohan goes to a jewelry store with a friend who distracts the clerk while she steals a $2,500 necklace.
February 9, 2011: Lohan is charged with felony grand theft.
April 22, 2011: Lindsay is found guilty of violating her probation and sentenced to 120 days in jail.
May 11, 2011: Lindsay pleads no-contest to her theft charges, but is not given any additional jail time, and instead of beginning her 120 day sentence for parole violation, she will be allowed to serve that sentence at home with an electronic monitor for the next 35 days, and WILL STILL GET RELEASED EARLY DUE TO PRISON OVER CROWDING, even though she’s not actually in prison. Because of this, she will only “serve” about 14 days at her condo near the beach.
June 22, 2011: Hoping to conduct a “turn around” lifestyle interview with Matt Lauer and the Today Show, with segments on E!, Lindsay pulls the “Ultimate Diva” routine, and blows off the Lauer interview. Matt flew 3000 miles to conduct the interview.
June 23, 2011: Lindsay tests positive for alcohol allegedly consumed while conducting a “roof top” party for her friends at her Venice Beach apartment. During her house arrest, Lindsay conducted interviews, shot commercials, and read many scripts in her spare time, so she claims. Lindsay is to appear in court today with further recommendations by the County Probation Department
July 1, 2011- Lindsay Lohan is summoned to court for not completing her community service on time. The judge gives her a 1 year extension.
August 13, 2011- Lindsay Lohan gets plastered at Kim Kardashian wedding while Mom, Dina lohan, is seen feeding her daughter shots.
August 23, 2011- Lindsay Lohan sues Pitbull for mentioning her name in his song
September 14th, 2011- Lindsay Lohan makes a scene at a fashion event and throws a drink at an unsuspecting waitor which was meant for a photographer who later trashes her on twitter.
October 13th, 2011- Lindsay Lohan is kicked out of her community service due to lack of participation. She would not show up for days and when she did attend she would only stay for one hour and leave.
October 14th, 2011- Lindsay, after finding out that she has been skipping on community service, it is also found she is blowing off counseling which was mandated by the court. This is direct violation of her probation.
Oct 19th 2011- In court, Judge Saunter revokes bail and tells Lindsay directly to complete 16 hours of community at the Los Angelas county morgue to be started on October 20th.
Oct 20th 2011- Lindsay is a no show at the county morque. This is direct violation of the judges orders
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
TMZ says she WAS turned away. ZAP!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Line up all those mug shots and it's like Faces of Meth.
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Iris Chacon, ahi viene!
Mark my words, horz, she is going to weasel something with this, too. There will be "medical" excuses and doctor's notes, etc.
Not only does she not want to do the work and fulfill her obligations, she actually ENJOYS the cat and mouse game, and getting over.
Showing up 20 minutes late is a prime example. She did show up, but she bent the rules just enough so that she wasn't 100% in compliance. Then she'll take extra time at lunch and if anyone calls her out on it, it's because she had cramps or a migraine. She's a never-ending font of excuses. She'll make sure to short them on principle, just to be able to say "They couldn't make me..."
ML may be a complete turd, at least he's being realistic. WO can't see past the dollar signs.
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!