Hot Slut Of The Day!
Ling Valentine, the UK’s crowning queen of car leasing!
As of yesterday, the name “Ling Valentine” was about as familiar to me as leaving my hermit cave during the weekdays, but after reading about her I’ve learned that she’s the BOSS of LingsCar.com, is a Chinese immigrant who conquered the British dream (No, not to be a paid extra on TOWIE, but to run her own business and shit.), became famous from an episode of Dragons Den, is good at the Twitter, and is somewhat of a gay icon. Basically, Ling Valentine is the UK’s answer to Cal “Pussy Cow” Worthington, but without the cow part.
But the shiniest jewel in Ling’s crown is her HIGH ART website, which has been named the worst website ever. It’s like a tossed HTML salad with blended Craigslist dressing. A beautiful wreck. It’s the paradise where Angelfire and Geocities pages go after their owners have discarded them and left them for dead. Just spending a few seconds with it will make blind hos see and will make seeing hos go blind.
I don’t live in the UK and I’m not looking to lease a car, but if I was I would stuff myself into a tank and shoot myself over to Ling Valentine’s lot. Ling’s mess of a website hypnotizes me into doing so. It’s also hypnotizing me into fucking my eyeballs with a neon marker….
(For Amy)