Hot Slut Of The Day!
Ling Valentine, the UK's crowning queen of car leasing!
As of yesterday, the name "Ling Valentine" was about as familiar to me as leaving my hermit cave during the weekdays, but after reading about her I've learned that she's the BOSS of LingsCar.com, is a Chinese immigrant who conquered the British dream (No, not to be a paid extra on TOWIE, but to run her own business and shit.), became famous from an episode of Dragons Den, is good at the Twitter, and is somewhat of a gay icon. Basically, Ling Valentine is the UK's answer to Cal "Pussy Cow" Worthington, but without the cow part.
But the shiniest jewel in Ling's crown is her HIGH ART website, which has been named the worst website ever. It's like a tossed HTML salad with blended Craigslist dressing. A beautiful wreck. It's the paradise where Angelfire and Geocities pages go after their owners have discarded them and left them for dead. Just spending a few seconds with it will make blind hos see and will make seeing hos go blind.
I don't live in the UK and I'm not looking to lease a car, but if I was I would stuff myself into a tank and shoot myself over to Ling Valentine's lot. Ling's mess of a website hypnotizes me into doing so. It's also hypnotizing me into fucking my eyeballs with a neon marker....
(For Amy)
I would say the Ryanair website is a good contender with her website for the worst.
I'll go to London for the sole purpose of renting one of those hoopties. Pick up some ASBOS and some hard cider and do so off-roadin.'
Do you remember the Simpson's episode where Homer built a website? Ling needs to add Jesus doing the twirling Baby dance and then it will be complete.
Those shorts look painful. How's your crotch, honey?
Mess. But her cars are pretty fucking cheap. You couldn't rent a Merc in America for 181 a week much less a month. Fuck you could even rent a Ford Echo for 181 a week.
We all need to think of ways to become millionaires if we want to continue living in this crazy world. The next best thing is just waiting to happen and we need to figure out what it is. Think... think...
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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\\Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:19am.
Isn't today the Rapture? I'm still here.
Uh oh.
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holy shit, thanks for reminding me.
I have to go rag the shit out of somebody RIGHT NOW !!! been waiting for this day since MAY !!
*clicks on website link*
*promptly falls to floor in epileptic seizure *
*twitch*
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 9:49am.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEWWWWWWWWWWWW
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olololol
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEWWWWWWWWWWWW
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 9:35am.
AY RING YOU NO GOOD! YOU CARR GAY MIGUERINA IDIOT? YOU IDIOT! YOU BAD GIRR! YOU MAKE SHAME ON YOU!! YOU TAKE BACK OR GET CHINESE MEDICINE POISON! YOU NO GOOD! HE GIVE YOU FREE PROMOTION AND YOU CAR IDIOT? YOU MAKE SHAME FOR YOU FAMIRY!
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Er Oh Er *HIE*
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Standards have dropped. Pussy Cow was in a league of its own.
AY RING YOU NO GOOD! YOU CARR GAY MIGUERINA IDIOT? YOU IDIOT! YOU BAD GIRR! YOU MAKE SHAME ON YOU!! YOU TAKE BACK OR GET CHINESE MEDICINE POISON! YOU NO GOOD! HE GIVE YOU FREE PROMOTION AND YOU CAR IDIOT? YOU MAKE SHAME FOR YOU FAMIRY!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
That website gave me a headache, dammit!
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
MK makes this bitch famous and THAT is how she repays him?! I would DIE to be HSOTD. Ugh. Ungrateful.
LING I LOVE YOU PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR VAGINA!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Ling, baby, there is no greater prize in the world than being MK's Hot Slut. Really, truly and seriously. Embrace the love, for it is genuine!
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Is it hard in here or is it just you?
*round of applause* she gets it. yay ling.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
RT @PopGiddy: @LINGsCARS getting the "Hot Slut" tx from blogger MK is a high honor. >> I was right "Hot Slot" **IS** a compliment!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
hey dog. *waves*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding. Ling will come to appreciate the honor that is Hot Slut and give us all "DAMN YOU!" t-shirts.
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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:08am.
Ling is mad at you, jack! You better say solly to her.
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hahahahaha mad at me?? ROOK I GIB NO SHIT U HE-YAH ME NOW!
RING - preeze setter down, it arr in good fun.. we cum in peace, mean no harm... *HIE*
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Snow, you ain't right in the head. LOL!
Hi guest!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
yes Dog, she called him an idiot, I just tweeted to her she should be more grateful and not "rook a gift horse in the mouth"
REPORTED!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
lmao @ sucky & dog! hahahahahahaha.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
She really IS on Twatter talking about MK? How did she even know about this place???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Some moron tweeted for her to sue MK, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
I can't remember my twitter account, you people need to get on there and start defending MK!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
i think ling's website is awesome...everywhere i lay my eyes it's like a glowstick party!!!!
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
she did!?? LingLo! What an ingrate!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
I think i love her! i want her DAMN YOU badge desperately
Ling is mad at you, jack! You better say solly to her.
ETA: *reports self*
Ling just lost major coolpoints for calling MK an idiot on Twitter.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by Twas Brillig on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:01am.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:32am.
Snowy, they said the smells in there are so vile, even seasoned morgue employees boot every once in a while.
Wait till they have to smell her breath.
^^^^^^^^^^
ahahaha! Or just her in general.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
i wanna rent '74 amc pacer
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:32am.
Snowy, they said the smells in there are so vile, even seasoned morgue employees boot every once in a while.
Wait till they have to smell her breath.
That website should be hot slut. I'm blinded now and having a rainbow seizure, ack!
LING! WE LOVE YOU PLEASE POST YOUR THOUGHTS ON HERE! We also serve tea and crumpets!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:53am.
ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT LILO IN EVERY THREAD? SHIT!
^^^^^^^^^
YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP! I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THE LILO TALK!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I kinda like the website. Everything is blinky and it has way more information than I need.
ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT LILO IN EVERY THREAD? SHIT!
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Lol, since you are reading the comments according to your Twitter, Ling , believe it, HSOTD IS a compliment...
Your website just gave me a seizure, but i m off work anyway, so no worries...
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:47am.
Will TMZ have LiLo-watch? Cadaver sheet duty is perfect for her. Just perfect. My money says she shows up on time but has a medical reason for leaving early.
^^^^^^^^
If she does, she violates. She HAS TO do 8 hours per day. Morgue rules.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
LOL at the sign in the bus window: "Most cars have metallic paint!"
What? Is that a selling point?
I get the feeling that Ling is a shrewd businesswoman. She's all funny and shit, but underneath she's a shark.
Will TMZ have LiLo-watch? Cadaver sheet duty is perfect for her. Just perfect. My money says she shows up on time but has a medical reason for leaving early.
She's complaining about being named HSOTD on her Twitter, even though her website stats have dramatically increased. She just doesn't have the elegance and graciousness of Phoebe Price.
~-*+*-~
"You're smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard." ~ Cordelia Chase
Hory sheet chi-knee wit british accent sofucking HOT! I make spehshoo won-ton soup for you! *HIE*
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
a master at self promotion.
loved the "hypno" eyes.
i take delivery on monday.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YTkxr3j2HQ&feature=related
P.S. I want that button where Ling says "Damn you".
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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen
AHAHAHHAHA you're bringing up memories of those Cal Worthington commercials. Which I didn't really need, but thanks anyway MK.
Cal Worthington's wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cal_Worthington
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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen
Snowy, they said the smells in there are so vile, even seasoned morgue employees boot every once in a while. I hope someone gets a pic of BloHole yakking on a body. Can you imagine how much a tab would pay for that shot????
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org