Damn That Tyler Perry!
Today's first "Fuck My Life" face is brought to you by the bought buffoon Kris Humphries.
The second "Fuck My Life" face is brought to you by thousands of trained actresses who have just lost yet another job to a fame whore piece of cold trash that has the talent of dried piss on an ass cheek.
Because Snooki is busy playing the role of Owl-Eyes in The Great Gatsby remake, Tyler Perry has cast amateur porn star Kim Kardashian in his newest church play turned movie The Marriage Counselor. Tyler was so impressed with Kim's ability to emote absolutely zero raw human emotion while getting her guts poked by Ray J's boomerang dick in her movie debut that he gave her the role of the title character's co-worker. The title character will be played by Jurnee Smollett. Deadline reports that shooting begins on that mess on October 26th in Atlanta.
Tyler Perry + Kim Kuntrashian + a plot that definitely involves a child touching uncle and an epiphany from the lord = the only time in the history of ever that the public actually misses Madea.
Seriously, if Tyler Perry really wanted a Kardashian-like whore for that role, he should've just wrapped his Madea fat suit in Spanx, threw a melted alien mask over his face and BOOM! Bitch can play that role himself. Because he's soon going to find out how annoying it is to work with Kim Kardashian. "Sorry, Tyler, Kim is trying to suck off the boom mic again" is a line he'll hear from the crew at least once a day. Tyler should do what the Keeping Up with the Kardashians production crew does: only use white boom mics.
Here's soon-to-be Oscar winner Kim Kardashian with her paid husband at her 31st birthday party in NYC last night. Pink sang for her. Oh, Pink, I thought I knew you.....
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I like Kim Kardashian...for some reason, I do. And I like Tyler Perry...but I do question this completely random casting. At first when I heard of this story I thought that she was going to be cast as a main character's girlfriend, wife, mistress, or jump-off...but now that I see she's being cast as a main character's "co-worker," that probably means that she's a co-worker that turns into a jump-off, mistress, or some other floozie. Sorry Kim, but that is probably how you'll always be portrayed.
I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)
You know the other actors are pissed! PISSED!!!!
I.HATE.TYLER.PERRY
Pink was not there to sing to her - they just both happened to be there. I just hope to god she sang Stupid Girl. I read that Kim took the mic at some stage and everyone was just booing her. LOL - so clear that Marquee paid her to be there. This woman will whore out anything.
That's a lot of jaw angles contained in this pic.
Rumer Willis bebeh, anyone?
Sorry for the double post. It was not my intent to reinforce my view by posting it twice. Just a happy coincidence.
Nice coat bitch. I look forward to your comeuppance.
Nice coat bitch. I look forward to your comeuppance.
For those not able to read sign language or read lips, I'll help:
Female: "....and Ray J's penis was THIS BIG , but I took it ALL. Yep, I sure did"
Male: (thinking) "...I wonder what they have for dessert here? Ooh...crayons!!!"
I guess all it takes nowadays to get a movie role is to blow some dude & get pissed on in an amateur sex tape... then lie to everyone about how "they're forcing me to release it without my permission" to promote it so as to collect on the 50/50 secret deal you have with the video company. This is the single worst decision Tyler Perry has ever made; he's going to see the movie tank & will lose a huge part of his churchgoing audience. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, wants to pay money to see a talentless spoiled entitled legspread slut like kim kuntrashian try to pretend she can act...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 10:42pm.
well he has to be stupid, since he signed the 12 months contract with 2x renewal options to marry Kim.
Nobody would be seeing "dating" her in public (except justin bieber) since she got pissed on and got fucked by ray j's captain cook hook dick lol
so it was a godsend to kim to find a guy who would marry her and be seeing in public.
and he is probably too dumb to understand shit and get angry when people ask him if he gave kim a goldershower yet... he'd be like "what...."
Submitted by Stoney on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 7:29pm.
It's pretty hilarious that she is so desperate that she can't even see that this caveman is using her. I've seen the show. He does not love her. I don't even think he likes her. They will last about two months and then he will divorce her and sell his story to every tabloid in the entire world. He is an incredible douchebag. Stevie Wonder could see that.
I'm thinking it might be the other way around. She's 31...the bio clock says it's baby making time!
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Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
That Kris dude is the epitome of what stupid looks like. I hate his face and his voice makes me want to scream! Troglodyte!
Kris humphries is only wondering if he has to piss on her again tonight and what it means when Kim screams "Ray J, Damon Thomas, Nick Cannon, Nick Lachey, Reggie Bush, Miles Austin, Shengo Deane, Gabriel Aubry" in the middle of sex instead of his name.
As if we needed further proof that Spike Lee was right about the vaudevillian Tyler Perry. Lowest Common Denominator = Cash at the box office.
FACT: There is an increasing amount of scientific evidence that points to another negative side effect of excessive Botox use. Apparently when the botulinum neurotoxin is injected into the face it travels up through the nerves and directly into the BRAIN. Specifically, it can damage parts of the brain responsible for processing emotions among other things. Kim is a perfect example of this, as if she wasn't fucked up in the head already. She probably gets those expensive Keratin treatments (with formaldehyde for extra brain damage) too. I hope she keeps on using that crap until it damages her memory so badly that she can't even remember her name!
With regards to the pic, that ho' is so dumb even 'Short Bus' Humphries can't stand her any more. On one hand it it sickens me to know that many talented actresses can't even land secondary roles in anything other than low-budget films. On the other I am not even worried about this upcoming Tyler Perry film/debacle. Anyone remember KK's Razzie worthy performance in 'Scary Movie'?
I wish someone would just beat the crap out of her and steal that gaudy ring to prove to her how stupid she is for wearing something that expensive and flaunting it out in public in the middle of a economic crisis.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Hockey fan on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 5:54pm.
Scarcity, I think. I think there's a huge market for movies featuring mostly/all black casts, but most of the movies offered to them are SHIT. They're crude, stupid and witless. Tyler Perry isn't even the worst!
If only we had an African-American Cameron Crowe.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
It's pretty hilarious that she is so desperate that she can't even see that this caveman is using her. I've seen the show. He does not love her. I don't even think he likes her. They will last about two months and then he will divorce her and sell his story to every tabloid in the entire world. He is an incredible douchebag. Stevie Wonder could see that.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
..aaaaaaand migraine.
ok, on the Tyler Perry thing: ITA that he makes fun of blacks, yet blacks, (including Oprah, who kisses his ass constantly) embrace him and laud him. WHY? Isn't that racist? If whites made films like that, they'd be murdered, seriously.
And come out of the closet, Tyler. Jeeeebuz, it's like the only one who doesn't know you're gay is you.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
Kris has Sad Clown Frankenstein Face.
Submitted by @YoureScaringUs on Sat, 10/22/2011 - 7:59pm.
does anyone else notice how much kris is always touching kim's throat?
^^^^^^^^^^
Yes..and if there was a drinking game for how many times Khloe plays with her hair (obvs an OCD/insecurity issue), I'd be ripped by the end of the credits.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
"Today's first "Fuck My Life" face is brought to you by the bought buffoon Kris Humphries."
Best. Opening. Line. Ever.
I bet this poor guy runs screaming from the Klan within six months.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
i'm shocked that this is her birthday party?! where's all the bells and whistles and endless wastes of money and paparazzi and...ugh. you get the point.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Kaveman looks like he wants to punch her. Go for it Kaveman! I will pay to see that.
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Won't you come a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this, I can't stand to burn too long.
-Tool
I might be getting my Smollett's confused, but isn't Jurnee the one with the porn tape?
Unfuckingbelievable that this talentless bag of plastic gets acting jobs.
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Won't you come a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this, I can't stand to burn too long.
-Tool
Cro-Magnon much, Kris?
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
Submitted by Karen Flatts on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 7:39am.
NOOOOOO! Not Angela Bassett! She has a degree from YALE, for crap's sake! She shouldn't be in lowest common-denominator crapola like Tyler Perry movies! OH THE HUMANITY!
Submitted by Desert Rose on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 7:49am.
I think it's purely a business thing. Maybe ratings were threatening to slump and so Pimp Mama decided that SOMETHING attention-getting would have to happen. So it was either a scandal, a death, a divorce or a marriage. And a marriage has the best returns - not only do they get attention for the wedding, but for the engagement and divorce.
As for why she chose Kris? I dunno, maybe all other pro athletes were willing to bang but not marry her. I can't tell if he's even aware he married a filthy whore.
She must've been pretty desperate, bc you can tell she can't even stand him.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Desert Rose on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 7:49am.
Kris looks like such a goofy bastard. Why the hell did she go for him in the first place?
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Who else is going to marry that piece of trash?
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 8:16am.
I think a couple of people have mentioned American Pyscho (well at least somewhere in the last few threads) and Kris' face really reminds me of christian bale/Patrick Bateman when he's listening to his fiancee or secretary (or any women talk) and he sits there all quiet but in his mind he is thinking "shuT THE FUCK UP BITCH I WILL TORTURE AND KILL YOU AND CHOP YOU INTO PIECES".
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You can tell when he's forgotten that the cameras are on (seriously Kris, THEY'RE ALWAYS ON!!!) cause he looks like he's saying "Do I want to be famous this bad? FUCK MY LIFE up the ass with a jagged branch!"
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
I think a couple of people have mentioned American Pyscho (well at least somewhere in the last few threads) and Kris' face really reminds me of christian bale/Patrick Bateman when he's listening to his fiancee or secretary (or any women talk) and he sits there all quiet but in his mind he is thinking "shuT THE FUCK UP BITCH I WILL TORTURE AND KILL YOU AND CHOP YOU INTO PIECES". I imagine that is what Kris is doing. Or the scenes where people are talking to patrick and he is pretending to do a crossword puzzle but all he does in fill in the words like "murder, cunt, whore, kill, bitch" for every answer. Except for kris it would have to be one of the puzzles on the kids menu.
Kris looks like such a goofy bastard. Why the hell did she go for him in the first place?
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 12:30am.
Tyler Perry's movies are absolute ass and it makes me sick that respectable black actors in need of a paycheck and exposure do them. If I see Angela Bassett in one of his movies I will hurl myself from a cliff.
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Please proceed to the nearest valley, because I don't want you near any cliffs when I tell you this: Meet the Browns, 2008, Brenda.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Not a morsel of food on Kim's plate.
Her hand color does not match her face color.
And it looks like she's wearing coyote.
Gross.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
For the life of me, I can't understand how Tyler Perry makes money with his absolutely stereotypical, stupid portrayal of African American characters. It would be one thing if his movies were funny, they're not. Now I hate this fucking douchebag even more.
um-and no ripping on tyler perry being a douchebag? really?
I've never seen any of his "films" mainly because the main character is played by a dude dressed in drag. If it had been played by an actual woman, I think I would have given the first one a chance.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Tyler Perry's movies are absolute ass and it makes me sick that respectable black actors in need of a paycheck and exposure do them. If I see Angela Bassett in one of his movies I will hurl myself from a cliff.
This chitlin' circuit cuntery has got to end!
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I've watched Tyler Perry's House of Pain a few times because I leave the TV on when I'm cooking and sometimes I can't change the channel fast enough. The best one was when the 14-year old nephew brought his girlfriend to the house for dinner and she was about six months pregnant. Everyone had tons of laughs at her expense and then at the very end of the episode it was revealed that her dad raped her and the baby was his. But then the nephew said he told the school counselor so everything's okay now. WTF? Why is this successful? Does everyone else have their hands full after the news is over?
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Silly rabbit.
Submitted by dementa on Sat, 10/22/2011 - 9:33pm.
"See, the man puts his penis in the woman's gigantic ass, and then he pees on her, and she becomes very rich..."
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omg im choking
thats some funny shit
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
I hated Tyler Perry a normal amount, buy now I hate him an abnormal amount.
God, how much longer must this whore live!
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
She looks like she's explaining the birds and the bees to him, and he isn't really understanding it.
"See, the man puts his penis in the woman's gigantic ass, and then he pees on her, and she becomes very rich..."
Oh, and I hate her for wearing fur. I'll give people a pass on it if they live in the Arctic circle and might actually need it, or if they wear fake fur, but there is NO excuse in this day and age to wear the skins of innocent animals just for vanity. NONE.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
the worst part about this is that you know a fuckton of people will go see it. im so sick of seeing this bitches frozen face already.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
I'm kind of scared that Kim's been cast in this. Tyler Perry's "films" do extremely well at the box office. Kim's not the star but this could lead to Kim getting cast in more film work or tv work.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Every time I see his mug, I want to go see Young Frankenstein...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Jurnee was just recently on Friday Night Lights. She's a great actress, don't understand how you put this ho next to her.
Very disappointed in Pink - and now KK will replace Justin Timberlake as the worst non-actor in a movie.
I've actually seen the play. The lead has an assistant who is a blonde haired white girl who speaks in ebonics, and is generally loud and obnoxious. She doesn't play much of a role besides being a semi offensive form of comic relief. Her name is even Becky. I get that Mr. Perry claims to be making fun of stereotypes, promoting unity and religion, and blah, blah, blah, but it really just seems as though he's profitting off of perputating the same ignorance he claims to be appalled by. What other reason would he cast KK, when he could have just as well cast an actual actress, or at least someone not so well known by the black community? Once upon a time I tried to give Mr. Perry the benefit of the doubt, but this is ridiculous. Plus, his movies are crap.
/end rant
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“I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra.” - BritBrit