JLo Oozed Out The Raw Emotion On Saturday Night
JLo was carried onto the stage at the Mohegan Sun's 15th anniversary celebration on Saturday night like the rhinestone-embedded martyr that she really is and she opened up her heart and poured out a river of raw emotion that was completely authentic and didn't at all leave the bitter taste of "publicity stunt" in the mouths of the audience. Because we all know JLo as a genuinely emotional performer in the vein of Janis Joplin, nobody was surprised when she broke down into tears on stage after singing about her past loves. And yes, I just made an appointment for you at the Geek Squad since your sarcasm detector probably overloaded and quit a bitch after you read those two sentences.
People says that JLo told the audience, "I'm going to sing you the last song I wrote about love," before she warbled out an acoustic version of If You Had My Love. There are so many things that are dead wrong about that last sentence that I ran out of red ink while making all the corrections in that shit. I mean, JLo claiming that she wrote a song and then singing an ACOUSTIC version of the heartbreaking and haunting lullaby we all know as If You Had My Love? Yes, that really happened and surprisingly the smoke of delusion that covered the stage didn't swallow the Mohegan Sun whole.
Then right after this, fuckery covered the stage when dancers dressed up like all of her exes came out with dancers dressed up like JLo. That tacky mess sounds like the highlight of the night, because seeing a twerking science class skeleton (Marc Anthony), a dancing pair of wolf pussy brows (Ojani Noa), a popping question mark (Cris Judd), a swaying Diddy and a kick stepping man wig in a Red Sox jersey (Ben Affleck) on the same stage together is a SHOW!
At the very end of the show, JLo said "I took a trip down memory lane" before a choreographed tear slid down her cheek and she started to cry like her $800,000 custom-made limousine was just born in a Maybach factory and would soon be delivered to her. The audience also cried, because seeing JLo looking like a bedazzled sausage at Liberace's barbecue is the stuffed stuff of nightmares.
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Gah! The pic of her behind looks like she's carrying a dump in her @ss and she needs to unload it. She's way too lumpy to wear a catsuit!
Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 1:00pm.
greeneggs
she is no way 5'7" I am and met Pdiddy (bumped into him practically) and he is at most 5'9" compare.
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Hey--thanks for the response! I didn't think she was 5'7"--she looks totally "squatty" (I don't think this is a word, but I'm using it!)
Her divorce isn't even finalized and she's already using the father of her children (?) as a stage prop. I guess the show must go on.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
jlo has butt but its quite clear in this photo that she's wearing ass pads.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
The world is her telenovela, and we are all just living in it.
I doubt she wrote that.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
I blame the woman who shot and killed Selena. Had that not happened, we never would of heard of this low class untalented part time Latina twat. JHO Bag is a disgusting vile hateful mess. This entire 'performance' is ridiculous. Who went to see her? Casino drunks? High rollers with free tickets? I refuse to believe anyone paid to see this used up, worn out whore.
An ACOUSTIC version of "If You Had My Love"???? SERIOUSLY?????? Jesus, please take me now.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
An ACOUSTIC version of "If You Had My Love"???? SERIOUSLY?????? Jesus, please take me now.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
It's time for all these chicks to give it up. JLO, Christina, Britney, etc... They've all had kids and despite their delusions their bodies aren't what they used to be.
It's embarassing watching them try to squeeze into skimpy costumes that are being held together by superglue and duck tape.
It's over ladies, you made your money, now go sit down somewhere.
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The same will happen to Beyonce....wait and see!!!
This thread made my day! Hekki, you funny, except A-Rod..lmao... he is the antithesis of the stereotypical latino male by resisting the the desire for a juicy butt female....I am lifting my glass of honey wine as I type @But_Im_A_Member: For those of us for whom thunder thighs and fat ass are the ultimate compliment! Oh yeah, and JLow sucks balls!
If I'm remembering correctly, this was her first hit from back in the late 90s. (?? I think ??)Chickie was probably just shedding a tear for her lost youth. As someone who just turned 30, I can tell you that it was a rough slap to the titties learning that I actually WOULDN'T be 20-something forever like I always believed!
This basically send the message to her future 'love of her life' that after a few awhile his look a like will also be on stage with the rest of them.
Definitely would rather be reading another post about Coo-Lo.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Yes, because when you have an ass and thunder thighs at forty-plus, you should totally wear skin-tight beige clothing.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 11:13am.
Yep! I wonder who it will be this time. She's done the faux-black thing, the boho thing, the WASP thing and the Latina thing. Maybe she'll embrace white trash, Asian or fake-English persona next.
Submitted by skinny fat on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 9:59am.
Judging from those Kohl's commercials, I think she's trying to convince us that she is. "What a saintly humble person am I, actually touching poor people for a commercial!"
Submitted by Callan on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 9:36am.
What a bitch.
I've always felt sorry for Cris Judd. He seems like a nice guy, and was one of the few "married a famous person" spouses who didn't milk it or try to exploit their spouse, even after the breakup. He could have written a juicy tell-all, but didn't. I think he really loved her, and didn't realize what a flighty fickle whore he had married.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
J.Lo never annoyed me for some reason...but I feel like she REALLY should have! Anyways, this stunt here may just be the one that can begin the process of me placing her on my "Shit Celebrity" list...I mean WTF? Yes, she's made a lot of money from these manufactured tunes, but for her to treat them like artistic masterpieces, BITCH PLEASE!!! And I love how in a past interview she stated that her quest for love will never end, or some crap like that. Why can't she just admit that she likes to spread her legs and live la vida loca ala Samantha of 'Sex and the City'? I can't.
"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)
It's time for all these chicks to give it up. JLO, Christina, Britney, etc... They've all had kids and despite their delusions their bodies aren't what they used to be.
It's embarassing watching them try to squeeze into skimpy costumes that are being held together by superglue and duck tape.
It's over ladies, you made your money, now go sit down somewhere.
She should have disappeared in 2002 along with embellished Britney jeans. Terrible singer, even worse at acting, and making a crappy pop song acoustic does not give it depth, honey.
Here's to all my people with nice juicy asses! (lifts glass of honey wine)
Love the idea of all her exes gracing the stage.
Did Marc Anthony and Ben Affleck look like this?
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=ren&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&gbv=2&biw=1024&bih=50...
Nasty.
I'm not seeing the part when the "exes" come out?
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Dark-sided!
greeneggs
she is no way 5'7" I am and met Pdiddy (bumped into him practically) and he is at most 5'9" compare.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
MK forgot about the part when she held up a picture of her kids and said that's what real love is.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
God, I'm embarrassed for her. Someone please tell her it's over. She's old, and her pre surgery face is starting to come back. She should never wear her hair up in that tight bun. Why does she attempt to sing again? Both she and her back up singers are completely fucking tone deaf.
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“I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra.” - BritBrit
Why does J-Ho have those two elderly homosexuals dancing with her?
Dressing up her dancers like her former flames? Bitch has officially gone off the deep end. I guess her faux-mance with BCoop was getting her enough attention.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Martial Arts will give you a great ass! all that kicking lifts it and builds muscle to make it rounder. :)
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Won't you come a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this, I can't stand to burn too long.
-Tool
Submitted by dcgirl on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 12:01pm.
After Diana Ross's 1983 Central Park concert, there should have been a law banning future wannabe diva bitch's from ever attempting the catsuit. Many have tried, but only Miss Ross succeeded.
Diana Ross Live in Central Park:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXWDwVY-270&feature=related
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Amen to that!
Just think, if only Selena were still alive, we'd still be enjoying her talent, and the high point of Lopez's career might've been dancing as a Fly Girl for In Living Color.
Instead, we get Truly Awful Music, and this should've been tagged as such!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
can't sing, can't act, has a big arse, and marries for attention...she could be the Whoretrashian's long lost sister!! She comes with tons of fillers and botox too boot...Pimp Mamma Kris should look her up...this whore hasn't had a real emotion since she did Selena. She hasn't had her real face either since then...goes through marriages like kleenex, is a diva bitch...so yes, folks, it was all for show...bitch is about as genuine as her marriages and love of her kids...fake to the bone.
Thank god/Satan/cousin It for back up vocals.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
After Diana Ross's 1983 Central Park concert, there should have been a law banning future wannabe diva bitch's from ever attempting the catsuit. Many have tried, but only Miss Ross succeeded.
Diana Ross Live in Central Park:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXWDwVY-270&feature=related
seriously, Miss Thang is about 15 years past her due date in this outfit. all kinds of "no thanx to Spanx" with this.
she forgot the damn fiat she danced on tv & kicked to the curb
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
oh please, she will be married again by the end of 2012.
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Won't you come a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this, I can't stand to burn too long.
-Tool
Why is this fat bitch always wearing nude sparkly jumpsuits like they are her best friend?!
Britney did it better. Even Fat Britney did it better.
The Deus Ex Meme came to mind when i read this article:
http://i.imgur.com/tdBZx.jpg
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"Joy and sorrow are life's companions."
That's right, J-Lo....
ASSentuate!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Those with sizeable thighs - like JLO and myself - should never ever wear something tight with a top of this length. I'm so annoyed with her right now. Oops, I forgot, I'm always annoyed with her.
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
she cannot sing for shit
Haha M.E. - somebody should send her that demotivational poster that shows a chain with a broken link and says:
"The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you."
OH! POOR ME! BOO FUKCING HOO! I'm the victim.
STFU bitch. The downfall of someones relationship does not fall soley on the shoulders of the other person, it's a two sided relationship and if it fails, you both failed eachother.
I hate this bitch.
In regards to Lea Michelle tweeting that she "killed it". yeas, she did kill the real singing star...autotune reigns today.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by But_Im_A_Member: "Jackie, I don't know about everyone, but I know at times when I weighed less, I still had a fatty but it was def smaller."
Mine changes, too. When I'm pregnant, I have a nice round juicy one. After, it gets flat. I've been doing yoga again and it's rounding out again. Personally, I'm a fan of a juicy butt. There are women who worry about it, but I don't know ANY men who like small butts. Except A-Rod.
I like No Me Ames. That is a real song about love, not this 1999 top 40 bullshiz.
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
UGH HER VOICE
it's seriously worst than a local karaoke contest in a dive bar. please turn it off. please.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media
consumption, and satire meet for a snack
is j.lo supposed to be jesus in the third thumbnail?
are those outfits from her clothing line for Kohl's? has anyone seen that cheap tacky crap?
i'd like to smack her in the head with a frying pan. phony beeyotch. and she does look like a sausage in that getup.