Courtney Stodden's Metamorphoses From Normal Girl To Iguana Goddess
Despite what the priest at confessional says to you when you cry to him that a slutty lizard keeps crawling through the hole from your dreams to your nightmares to wrap her tongue around your soul, Courtney Stodden did not start out in life as an animatronic Pamela Anderson Real Doll that was solely created by her creepy maker/husband to spit out soft-core porn adjectives on Twitter and constipated sexyfaces during staged photo shoots. There was a time when Courtney was a fresh-faced wholesome girl who probably thought Adderall was add-on sleeves for overalls or something. Crazy Days and Nights (via Jezebel) posted this alleged picture of Courtney before her mother sold her to the liver eater from The X-Files.
This thickens the plot since Courtney's pimp of a mother swears on the sales receipt the devil gave her that her daughter can be sold in the organic section of any grocery store and she has never been touched by a plastic surgeon's scalpel. A lot of hos are saying that since Courtney is 17 in CZJ years, she's probably telling lies about her plastic surgery situation too. But I'm not sure. Courtney sticks out her chest and sucks in so hard while posing that her internal organs probably got sick of suffocating so they traveled up to her tits. She doesn't have plastic tits, she's got stomach tits!
I bet if you turned a wet sandblast machine on Courtney and switched off the switch that operates her terrifying snarlface, she'll look a little closer to 17 instead of looking like she should be passing an apple to Snow White. It's all the make-up and shit.
The glamorous power of Wet 'N Wild, Walmart hair bleach and clear bra straps cannot be denied. Mah Boo would totally co-sign that.
• 
Thanks, Winterowl! :3
I dunno, it could be just makeup. Except the tits, of course.
MAKEUP 101: bronzer blended below the apple of the cheek. bronzer straight down along the bridge of the nose. EYEBROWS BEGIN AT THE INNER CORNER OF THE EYE, NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF YO FO'HEAD! sorry, i know i just posted this, but i can not.
|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|
"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Aww. She was a cute kid until the tranny-transformation.
Yes the boobs are fake. Like duh. I just don't understand why she went from normal brows to an evil unibrow though?
This child is lost.
.
I think the tits are definitely fake, but I think the face is just too much damned cheap make-up pancaked on combined with heavy drug use.
Ehh, maybe she just had complete Dr. 90210 style surgical overhaul and a brain tumor that changes your personality. Who knows. I'm still sticking with the hoax/decoy conspiracy.
*****************************************
If you wanna be in black and white, black and white's gotta be IN YOU!
She looked a little Dakota Fanning-ish before turning into the meth lizard from the Black Lagoon. There is definitely something very off about her.
_______________________________________________
I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
this is kind of tragic. but not as tragic as "The daring deliciousness of the day is delicately dominating my down & dirty demeanor... Rawr! ;)"
i think we should host a haiku contest to try to beat courtney stodden's. who's with me?!
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Submitted by mbar on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 7:12pm.
Courtney should do a remake of J.lo's "I'm Real" called "I'm Rill", based off that RidicuList clip of her saying "I'm all rill..."
________________________________________________
Hahaha.
Courtney should do a remake of J.lo's "I'm Real" called "I'm Rill", based off that RidicuList clip of her saying "I'm all rill..."
Amalthea, welcome!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Hi everyone. I'm new. *waves* I don't know if this has already been posted at some point, but this Google cache of Courtney's sister's MySpace page shows 3-year old comments from Courtney, talking about "skewl" and Labor Day. Seems to point to the fact that this poor kid may actually be 17 (or close to it) after all...
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:LKRhnyNT2DMJ:www.my...
I too, actually thought she was older than she portrayed herself to be, until I found this little jem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysnXqS2LO5k
This renders the situation quite sad...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 4:39pm.
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:25pm.
Okay, okay! All you dlisted women, EXCEPT myself, have BIG BIG titties!!!!! Just keep rubbing it in!
************************************
I'll let your motorboat them for a dollar....
--------
*gathers up all of my empty bottles and cans*
Cybil Shepherd? This lot lizard looked like a baby Kesha.
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:25pm.
Okay, okay! All you dlisted women, EXCEPT myself, have BIG BIG titties!!!!! Just keep rubbing it in!
************************************
I'll let your motorboat them for a dollar....
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
You guys, she's lying about her age. Hollywood is youth obsessed. She's probably 25 or so. In those older pics, yeah she looks about 17.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:03am.
I had a friend with huge boobs and since she never wore a bra they were going pretty much south by 25. Her mom's boobs were pristine because she always wore good bras, even to bed, and was mostly single so no men pawed on them.
I'm not sure where I'm going with that...just constantly wear a bra and stay away from men? :(
***************************************
And don't have babies. With each pregnancy, whether you breastfeed or not, your breasts are going to get huge. Which leads to sagging. Mine are saggy now, after three kids, event though I always wear a good bra. I do know of one woman, though, whose boobs got smaller with each kid she had. She had three babies and breastfed each one. Now her chest is flat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Courtney, how is it that your 1973 Walmart glamour shots look better than your current face?
So much for aging gracefully, right? Seriously in the first picture I think she looks like a young version of Candice Earley who portrayed Pine Valley's hooker with a heart of gold Donna Beck.
I used to think parents should post pictures of Keith Richards and tell their kids "Don't let drugs do this to you.". Now I'm thinking a film clip of Courtney Stodden should keep people off meth, H or whatever she is taking. I wish she would stop the facial seizures that she thinks are sexy, they are disturbing.
You can't pray a lie.
Mark Twain
She's definitely having some sort of injectables in her face. Botox perhaps, or cheek fillers. As for her eyes getting closer together? Meth, probably.
And she's more than likely had a nose job. Or maybe her nose gets smashed down when her husband is facefucking her, imagining Brad Pitt as the giver.
I also don't think she's had breast implants. Maybe, but I don't feel like studying this creature's breast for too long. But she definitely stuffs her bra and spray paints for a deeper cleavage crest. No woman with natural breasts has cleavage that looks like that. Nowhere in the world. I know this because my boobies are natural D cups.
And they look a helluva lot nicer than this tramp's boobs. Snap.
-----
you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
she's sporting major unibrow in the most current pic,lol
Well, the side-pony is the international symbol for brain dead, so that picture seems right on target!
i cosign on the meth theory.. she has total meth face and personality..
So fresh, so clean! I'm a Breck girl!
she was relatively cute..what happened?!
Her parents probably should be hanged for how she turned out BUT I'm starting to develop a new theory on this girl.
I'm thinking that she starting exhibiting some signs of mental illness a couple years ago involving the hyper-sexualized behavior and the (self?) medication (the super christian stuff fits too). I won't speculate on whether the pathology is organic or stems from environmental causes like abuse.
Anyway, she starts going off the rails and maybe her mom thinks it's better to marry her off to an older, indulgent caretaker rather than let her bounce off every teenage boy she sees. idk, just a thought.
That's enough armchair psych for the day. Regardless of how she got here, the Courtney of today is sad, sad, sad.
Submitted by Kelly Ann on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 1:08pm.
I still don't believe that the girl in the pics is actually the same person as lizard ho. I think it's her daughter, younger sister, or cousin. They're probably doing this so they can pass her off as 17, by using an actual 17 year old as a decoy. SO not convinced.
Hmmmm...I had read the theories that CS is actually her "mom's" sister and thought that it was possible, but the idea of CS being a completely different person had not occurred to me. That might make more sense. Good thinking!
When I was 16/17, I used to try and look older to get into bars and stuff (and thought that I did look older at the time). But, looking at old photos of myself, it is very obvious that I was a teenager. I wore lots of makeup and provocative clothes, but just looked slutty - not older. Nobody in their right mind would have believed that I was over 20, much less be convinced that I must be over 35!
What on earth could she have done to herself to look SO much older???
Something else about her that really (rilly) strikes me as strange is her choice of styling. She really (rilly) comes off as an older woman trying to look younger, as opposed to the other way around.
I can't remember the last time I saw a teenager/young woman wearing what is essentially a modified version of the "Rachel" haircut (with a shit-ton of hairspray in it), except back in the 90's when that haircut was actually in style. However, it's really (rilly) common to see older women with that cut. If CS really is 17, then she would have been a baby when that hairstyle was popular - where would she even get the idea to have that haircut now?
Same with her makeup and clothing. It's all just so DATED that it is hard to imagine a young girl choosing this style. And, yet, I see this very same look on older women all the time - especially older women who are trying to look younger.
And another thing ... the teeth. In this day and age, in America, who DOESN'T get their crooked-ass, jacked-up teefs fixed? Old people, that's who. In the second photo, there is not even any evidence of her big ol' snaggletooth.
Maybe it really is a different person. This is making my brain hurt.
... Why do I spend so much time thinking about this iguana goddess?
Well how old is she in the pictures on the left? Maybe she is like 9 in those pictures and in reality suffers from progeria like in that terrible Robin Williams movie
But if she looked like the fresh faced teen, her walking around with Doug woud be even more disturbing. Im starting to believe thathe really is a pedo.
She looks downright evil in the later pic.
I wonder what awful shit happened to her as a kid.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 1:03pm.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:03am.
I had a friend with huge boobs and since she never wore a bra they were going pretty much south by 25. Her mom's boobs were pristine because she always wore good bras, even to bed, and was mostly single so no men pawed on them.
I'm not sure where I'm going with that...just constantly wear a bra and stay away from men? :(
------------
Wait, menz touching boobs makes the boobs sag? Does it matter if it is a lot of different menz?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*++*+**+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I thought the more man touched them the firmer they would stay?
*calls guys and tells them that they cannot come over and play with mah boobz cuz I want them to be firm forevah*
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 1:30pm.
___________________
my family is all English and Scotish. totally Anglo. My father has done extensive research into the family for several generations and has uncovered zero Germanic influences or Saxon influences (french/germanic) influences. all of my ancestors are pure English or Scotish.
Her parents should be imprisoned. Or even better sent to Mars with no chances of return. This is just beyond ridiculous.
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:50pm.
Charlie, may I recommend you this site for little interesting places/ things to do in London? It has never disappointed me, and Camden Catacombs were spectacular
http://www.shadyoldlady.com/theme.php?theme=Quirky
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 1:25pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:57pm.
_______________
Edinburgh, edinburg, edinbugh. what am i thinking of, Glasgow? Edinburgh is where we will where we will be staying for 7 days in Scotland.
Some of my family just came back from there. Best time ever. Some good history in Edingburgh. If I go I'm going on a ghost tour under the streets in the passageways. Spooky!
You have some good holidays Charlie. London, Edingburgh and Bath, nice.
**************************************************
Submitted by gladyslove on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 11:19pm.
You name should be El Retardo.
Submitted by tojo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 1:27pm.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:46am.
Submitted by tojo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:34am. What does your avie say?
==================================================
EVERYONE GO BACK!!! IT'S A BLOWJOB!!!!!
LMMFAO!
_____________________________________________
"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Charlie who is that in your Avi?
============================================
...the end
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:46am.
Submitted by tojo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:34am. What does your avie say?
==================================================
EVERYONE GO BACK!!! IT'S A BLOWJOB!!!!!
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:57pm.
_______________
Edinburgh, edinburg, edinbugh. what am i thinking of, Glasgow? Edinburgh is where we will where we will be staying for 7 days in Scotland. I've been there before, a long time ago in the 70's. I know the castle is still huge off in the distance and the streets are still old and narrow. it's going to be a great time.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 1:19pm.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:03am.
I'm not sure where I'm going with that...just constantly wear a bra and stay away from men? :(
LOL forever.
In secondary school one of my English teachers was a reverend sister, and she said that if you let men touch your tits you'll catch CANCER. Scarred me for life.
----------------------------
Lu32Cy - don't be irrational!!!!
*dons pink ribbon*
_____________________________________________
"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:03am.
I'm not sure where I'm going with that...just constantly wear a bra and stay away from men? :(
LOL forever.
In secondary school one of my English teachers was a reverend sister, and she said that if you let men touch your tits you'll catch CANCER. Scarred me for life.
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 1:12pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:57pm.
The Tate Modern is an art gallery inside an old power station. They had Jackson Pollocks there at one time...its huge. Plus, its next to the river with pubs and cafes. Great day out!
http://www.tate.org.uk/modern/
**************************************************
Submitted by gladyslove on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 11:19pm.
You name should be El Retardo.
I love this lizard. She is so RILL. Tie her RILL hair back and strap those RILL boobs down and put a bowler hat on her head and she'll look just like el bastardo's avie.
My own boobs resemble dancer pecs more than tatas. : ( I can flex them but they don't shimmy.
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:11am.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Wed, 10/26/2011 - Oh come the fuck on! Getting your tits pawed during sex will only make them sag if you're fucking the Incredible Hulk!
___________________________
If you wouldn't like the Hulk when he's angry, would you like him when he cums? Hmmm....DISCUSS!
----------
Would the wet spot be green, d'ya think?
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:25pm.
Okay, okay! All you dlisted women, EXCEPT myself, have BIG BIG titties!!!!!
I'm just a 32C.
Big tits are cool but I do not want anything bigger than what I have, because I have an athletic body and I'll just look stupid with huge cans.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:57pm.
_______________
what is tate modern? i don't know what that means. the best times i've had in london and the UK in general is just sitting back and shooting shit. they all seem to be fascinated by my southern accent. it's a really good time. i remember the first time i went to london was in the mid 80's and i came up out of the tube at night into piccadilly circus at night and there was the staute of Eros and the lights. and i was in awe. it really is a fabulous sight.
In the old days young women were exploited (see Marilyn Monroe) but that exploitation often wasn't revealed until after death or in a tell-all book when the subject was 80.
Today we know all about how evil grasping mothers, douchebag fathers and slavering older boyfriends quite gleefully send these formerly innocent kids out on the ho stroll. I dunno. It's really depressing. I mean, kids have always been commodities to certain disgusting parents (read The Godfather's Hollywood section; google Kit Culkin), but now all of it is done openly and without shame. It's stomach-turning.
Submitted by Kerfuffles on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 12:12pm.
This, to me, is the dead giveaway that CS has breast implants:
http://dlisted.com/files/courtneystoddengorgeous.jpg
I mean, that's Heidi Montag territory right there.
I am another dlisted wench with huge (natural) tittays. Mine do have a fairly large space between them when they are unsupported, but not when I wear a push-up or any kind of "structured" bra.
But, to me, the dead giveaway is that the curves of her breasts are not round. They almost have corners! Real breasts are always affected by gravity...even when they are supported by a bra, gravity just does its thing and draws them downward, which results in the upper contours of the breasts being gently rounded, even if they are held up from underneath or pushed in/up from the sides. The fatty tissue is soft, and just settles into a GENTLY rounded shape. Hers (and many other fake tits) are not in any way soft or "fluffy" - they just sit straight out on her chest like baseballs.
Real boobies don't do that.