HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'll add more to this Halloween gift as soon as I stop HAHAHAHAHAHA-ing from every one of my fingers.
Okay, I'm back and I'm still trying to fight the urge to HAHAHAHAHAHA through my finger tips throughout this entire post, but you must know why the true love bubble out of E!'s ass has burst all up in Ryan Gaycrest's face. TMZ reports that the completely staged marriage that you thought would last about as long as a fart trying to escape through Kim's canyon of doom ass has already died after 72 days. As Pimp Mama Kris lines up johns (aka People Magazine, Life & Style, etc...) and sponsors (aka Legalzoom, etc...) for the multimillion dollar divorce tour special, Kim's divorce lawyer Laura Wasser is filing papers in L.A. today.
A source tells TMZ that this trash heap alien-faced whore is filing for divorce from I Already Forgot His Name, because he wants to stay in Minnesota and the flash from a pap's camera is her oxygen so she refuses to leave L.A. They didn't figure this out before their $10 million dollar wedding, because she was too busy creaming out from every orifice over the thought of how much attention (and nonreturnable gifts) her fraudulent marriage would get.
Kim Kuntrashian stuffed $18 million into her gaping wide checking account for the wedding and she'll probably stuff a few million in for "Kim's Fairytale Divorce" special. Then in about six months, she'll do all over again with a 6"3' bag of cold dumb whose soul comes with a price tag on it.
The dead horse that is the sanctity of marriage just got up and reached for a bat to beat itself some more while mouthing the word "sorry" to the gays.
via TMZ
• 
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Typical Kim K. Marries for publicity and then divorces for some more. I wonder if her hubby had a clue.
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I agree that this famewhore and her mother should have to pay back all of the vendors, and give back all of the gifts. Of course we know that won't happen. It would be awesome if they were sued.
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
That last paragraph is the reason I come here.
-------------------------------------------------
Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
A fake Bitch with a fake reality show, A fake relationship, A fake engagement, a fake wedding, a fake marriage, a fake divorce. So I'll fake an interest, as in I don't give a fake.
people buy that this is fake, but still believe it was true love between nick and jessica. please bitches! their marriage was created for their show! after their contract was up they got divorced. some people act like this is the first time this kind of shit has happened. it isnt
now will you fuckers believe me?
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
This is weird - we subscribe to People (I know, I know) and I get email "alerts" from them all day every time some celeb sneezes.
But on this? Nothing, not a peep.
I wish People would boycott these swamp slugs after getting screwed out of paying for those wedding pics.
IMO, BloHole is still trying to figure out how she can upstage this whole mess. Look for lots of drama tomorrow.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
But Lindsay Lohan is still coming off her drunken stupor/drug binge from Kim's wedding night!
For Richer, Or Richer: Inevitable Collapse Of A Scam Marriage
By ANDREA PEYSER
She’s a fame whore for hire who became fabulously wealthy not for her looks, brains, sex appeal or talent. But for the super-sized quality of her protruding butt.
He’s tall, dark, athletic and exceptionally, stupendously, over-the-top dumb.
The only mystery remaining is how any human so lacking in brain function could summon the ability to walk upright.
On paper, the marriage between the iconic pair, Kim Kardashian, already a divorcée at 31, and Kris Humphries, a pup of 26 -- the short-lived HumpDashians -- sure looked like a winner.
For here was a phony, cooked-up union, sold to an unwitting public as a real-life fairy tale.
Now we know that the marriage was a complete and utter sham.
It was a pairing born in an agent’s office, and spawned in amoral Hollywood. Then, it drove to the finish line wrapped in a dank hell where sacred, holy matrimony is nothing more than a cynical money-making enterprise.
The marriage was nothing more than a profitable scam, one bought by heavy-set romantics who live their entire lives hoping for a shot at getting into bed with a HumpDashian. These two glassy-eyed ghouls, who announced their split, fittingly, on Halloween, don’t give a rat’s rump about rational notions of love, fidelity or the concept of forever. This was all about selling one’s body to the highest bidder.
It’s enough to put a person off heterosexual relations for good.
Kim rose to prominence not by acting in the conventional sense. She did the nasty on tape. It’s made her millions in copies on the Internet, at $2.95 a roll in the hay. But she never spent enough time in the same room with her actual hub to have sex of any kind. No profit in that.
Humphries, it’s been reported, wasn’t even her first choice. Their glossy, $10 million California wedding, whose scenester guests included Lindsay Lohan, Ryan Seacrest and Serena Williams, came about, reportedly, after makers of her E! reality show “Kourtney and Kim Take New York” sought to cast an athlete boyfriend for Kim. Her reps allegedly tried for a Knick, got shot down, then settled for New Jersey Net Humphries. Their first mistake.
The marriage was public and profitable, generating millions in TV rights and $1.5 million from People magazine.
But within days, Humphries found himself on an airplane across the aisle from his wife’s sex-tape partner, Ray J.
The worst came when Humphries didn’t punch the guy in the face.
Kim, who never saw a body part she couldn’t sell, has been weary of her guy, out of work since the NBA lockout. For money-grubbing Kim, the worst part is that her lazy hub is busy partying. And she pays.
There will always be time to cast another husband, but the profit motive may be gone.
No one will believe this shrew is capable of anything as natural as love.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
*still pissing self laughing*
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 8:23pm.
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 5:38pm.
I hope no one gives her money in exchange for "her side" of the story. But of course she will get lots of deals. She will hide out for a week or two in order to "get away from the media and have some time alone" (but really shell tip off paparazzi to get pics) and then accept an offer.
Oh my dear - her "divorce" deal was probably already signed, sealed and delivered as soon as she threw the bouquet. This whole thing was STAGED for maximum "drama," with the tacit approval of producers at E! For some unknown reason they think throwing money at this bitch and her family will generate interest - and apparently it does! I weep for America.
Don't you remember the blind item about how Kris and Kim were scouting around for a suitable "groom" and how one guy turned them down and then talked about it? This entire "fairytale wedding" was less authentic than Barbie's Dream Wedding. At least Barbie's a nice plastic girl, with more personality and intelligence than any of the Kardashians will ever possess.
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Condi, I absolutely agree that the whole thing is fake. Kim said last Spring that her life is her job. So that pretty much told me that, yes, she would even fake a pregnancy/miscarriage for ratings, interviews and magazine covers.
Getting a divorce for her will have to mean that there will be magazines that will pay her for the exclusive about her divorce because unfortunately, there are people out there who will buy the magazine and who really think this was a real relationship. Magazine editors know the truth but they don't care as long as the public will eat it up.
She's going to make a lot of money from just the divorce announcement (IF indeed it is a fake announcement and they decide to stay together and patch things up until they divorce for real
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
fuk her!gay ppl around our country cant get married but, it is legal and televised on national television that THIS WHORE get's married to some bo-HUNK???? wtf? is wrong with our CUNTRY? what the fuck? this show is so five year's ago. they suck ball's! they should all just do porn for real. i mean, it's all soft pron anyway on that fuking reality show they have. kourtney and scott fuking on the roof on tv? wtf? this whole show is stupid!
Sandbitch! OH MY GAWD! Your avie is scaring the fuck outta me!!!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
I'm surprised they didn't stay on board a little longer to do interviews of what their life is like now and where Kim will talk about trying to conceive as soon as possible and how that is so depressing to her that she hasn't been able to.
Good thing it's over (but it won't be that easy since they are so calculating) because they had ZERO chemistry and just weren't into each other AT ALL.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Still no one can see the obvious – HE IS AS GAY AS SHE IS VAPID.
well shit hasn't there been a "please respect my privacy in this difficult time" released? i guess i should ask one of the millions of dumbfucks that follow her on twitter. i almost called it tweeter. thats how much i pay attention to fucking twitter.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
She should pay back everything that was given to her.
What a pathetic waste of space. Her and her entire family.
Didn't they already start filming with him? I'm sure they'll do those interviews in between and it will all be "woe is me" *faux tears*. Ugh. Let this be the end of this crap.
Wow - say it ain't so (major sarcasm!!!)!!!
Yet another casualty of the NBA lockout. Kim had undoubtedly planned on being filmed cheering on her husband. Her modus operandi has always been to go after the professional athletic. It continues to put her in the spotlight and gives her an arena for her film crew - but now that he's temporarily unemployed I'm sure she had no clue what to do with this man. (Cue Reggie Bush laughing his azz off!) And this BS about her not wanting to leave LA - she had to consider the fact that an athletic periodically gets traded to another team - forcing a move. But if she had taken the time to look further than her wedding event she would have considered these things.
Although I can't imagine ANYONE on this planet surprised by the turn of events, I am somewhat surprised that she didn't hold out long enough to get pregnant. I would have bet money that she wanted so bad to show Khloe how easy it was to get pregnant. After all Khloe got married first - (also after a brief relationship), is STILL married, and it appears to be stable and loving.
This may backfire on Kim tho. Not only does it send a signal to her next intended victim (wouldn't be surprised if she connects up with Reggie again) but I'm sure her sponsors will be pissed to see that it didn't even last long enough to complete broadcasting the fairy tail wedding.
What would really be the frosting on the cake is if a few women start hitting on Kris - publicly. There's a definite opportunity there for a few women to get their 15 minutes - landing a man cast aside by Kim - plus it would give her ego the added kick it needs. Reality can be a bitch at times.
I'm sure the Kardassian powers-that-be will make this look like Kris' fault - so expect major spin control in 1...2....3...
I don't know who I hate more. The robber Kar-CASH-ians or the idiot public/media that actually slobbers over them.
"No one ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the masses."
.
.
This is awesome, it will kill the Kardashian, Inc. Corporation. It was obvious, she couldn't even sleep in the same bed with the dude, on tour for business with her sisters sleeping in luxe hotels, ignoring communications with Derpy, spent a whole 100 hours with the guy max.
no fucking surprise here.
reality TV is the bane of our current society. it propels trashy, talentless whores who in other times would be traveling snake oil salesmen. reality TV is the perfect con: it's all about manipulation, fakery, and defrauding as many people as possible. just a bunch of nasty, greedy parasites scamming their way to the bank, and kunty kartrasshian here is their roach queen.
Submitted by Puppy Love on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 8:45pm.
God the Ks are pure trash in every way. I won't buy a magazine that features any of them on the cover, not that my four little dollars mean anything but it makes me feel better.
yeah, but if every single one of us boycott the magazines and the TV shows, it adds up, and we hit these assholes where it hurts: their wallet. it's a matter of trying to convince the sheeple that actually buy this shit that it's fake that's almost fucking impossible.
Happy birthday lachaylo!!!! Sorry about your friends :(
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Hey, LaChaylo! I wished you a happy birfday in OP!!
snowpiece on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 10:21am.
yeah, I liked how he treated her like the low class urinal she was, and farted in her face
_________________________________________________
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH you are so wrong for this!
___________________
"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
@ Stoney - Thank you! Good advice! :-)
@ Choco - muchas gracias!!
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Happy Halloween!
I remember back in the day when skankwhore Paris Hilton was everywhere the way Kunty Kim is now, one of the NY gossip columnists (for the NY Daily News maybe?) made his page a "Paris-free zone" and refused to mention or otherwise acknowledge PH in any way. I recall thinking that guy was pretty fucking cool.
God the Ks are pure trash in every way. I won't buy a magazine that features any of them on the cover, not that my four little dollars mean anything but it makes me feel better.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 6:46pm.
A little bummed, some of my close friends forgot my bday. Don't need a gift, just a quick hello, thinking of you.
When you have a facebook, it's nearly impossible for people to ignore/forget your bday. Look into it, lol.
Also, happy birthday!! Don't worry. Once they remember, they will feel bad and maybe get you a gift or take you out to dinner. Might work out better than the phone call. :)
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
She is a disgusting period clot of a human being.
That's all.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 5:38pm.
I hope no one gives her money in exchange for "her side" of the story. But of course she will get lots of deals. She will hide out for a week or two in order to "get away from the media and have some time alone" (but really shell tip off paparazzi to get pics) and then accept an offer.
Oh my dear - her "divorce" deal was probably already signed, sealed and delivered as soon as she threw the bouquet. This whole thing was STAGED for maximum "drama," with the tacit approval of producers at E! For some unknown reason they think throwing money at this bitch and her family will generate interest - and apparently it does! I weep for America.
Don't you remember the blind item about how Kris and Kim were scouting around for a suitable "groom" and how one guy turned them down and then talked about it? This entire "fairytale wedding" was less authentic than Barbie's Dream Wedding. At least Barbie's a nice plastic girl, with more personality and intelligence than any of the Kardashians will ever possess.
Hey... Im still paying off the wedding present. No fair.
Maybe he wouldn't piss on her? Hopefully people who like these clowns will wake up and see that they are shamelessly suckering people into getting more media attention for themselves.
I really can't with this bitch anymore. Sometimes I wish our economy would tank just so the backlash against non-talented ass-clowns would happen.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 1:51pm.
Her plan won't work. A tsunami-scale backlash is just around the corner and it will hit her X-rayed ass pretty hard.
* * *
From your lips to the Lord's ears, my friend!
I heard Lurch was stupid enough to sign an iron-clad prenup that gives him basically nothing. I hope the moron at least tries to get the ring back.
Kim Kardashian has raised fame-whoring to a level heretofore unknown to mankind; there's no word to even do it justice.
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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 6:46pm.
A little bummed, some of my close friends forgot my bday. Don't need a gift, just a quick hello, thinking of you.
Ah, well, I'm just a sensitive old fart. Where's my werther's?!
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Happy Halloween!
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Hhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppy
Bbbbbbbirrrrrrrthhhayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
feliz cumpleaños!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
buon compleanno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
joyeux anniversaire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oops, wrong post.
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Happy Halloween!
Does anyone think that we are all Jim
Carey in the Truman Show? That Ryan
Seacrest and Pimp Momma Kris are going
to reveal that this is all one surreal,
fabricated lie that we've all bought into?
I guess we already kinda know this, yes?
"Boy, did I just pick a boogie monster from my nose or what?! Happy Halloween!"
OMG, what if this bitch up and announces she's pregnant a month from now?!?!?! But, wouldn't that ruin her plan of rich man after rich man???? She's so stupid to think people aren't on to her game.
I hope that all her "fans" will see her for the fame whore she is and that she will subsequently fall off the face of the public consciousness.
----------------------------------
Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
He breached the contract when he tried to form sentences without permission.
I'm hoping to God there isn't a gag order or confidentiality clause in the prenup. I hope Kris Humphries is free to tell all the family's bitchy little secrets.
@WinterOwl22.. Yup! Kim is conveniently in Australia 'working' right now.
I hope no one gives her money in exchange for "her side" of the story. But of course she will get lots of deals. She will hide out for a week or two in order to "get away from the media and have some time alone" (but really shell tip off paparazzi to get pics) and then accept an offer.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
I find it hard to believe that any poster here would openly admire her pathetic affectations and stomach-turning hypocrisy. I pity anyone who's that stupid, I really do. There is NOTHING remotely sophisticated about the Kardashians. They are little more than an ignorant and mediocre lot of nouveau riche parasites. Have you even noticed how they TALK? It's 'like' painful to listen to. Because the truth is that Kim whored her way through the NBA/NFL/NYC and God knows what else after her initial cinematic debut. That shellac-coated tart won't change her faux leopard spots until Karma runs her over...TWICE!
Ohhhh I'm soooo happy for you two...Congratulations!
I have worked my ass off to make something of myself in life. I got 2 undergrad degrees in 3 years, I went to school for my masters while working full time and doing an internship and commuting an hour and a half each way for class after working all day. I now have an hour and a half commute each way to work at a dangerous job with mediocre pay, but at least I'm doing what I've always wanted to do. And NEVER have I expected people to lick my taint like this fucking stupid bitch does. Like we should all fucking worship her cuz she lived. And she makes MILLIONS for being a cum dumpster human toilet famewhore, while I will die with nothing more than a state pension. Fuck this stupid cunt.
/end rant
**************
You dumb bitch, I am home.-MK
I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with the donkey.
I refuse to watch their show and buy any magazine that has her on the cover. With people going hungry and living on the streets in this country, for twat blisters like them (or E! or whoever the fuck paid for it) to spend $10 million on a big gaudy, ostentatious wedding that is over before the fucking ink dries on the marriage license is just disgusting.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West