This Can Be All Yours, Ladies
If your type of man is a leaning tower of crazy who would come in second place in a karate match against the air and who can grow a furry light brown piece of dog turn from his chin like no other, then put your hand under your butt and fart out that four leaf clover, because it's your lucky day. Weston Cage, the 20-year-old son of Nicolas Cage, filed for divorce from the woman he allegedly got violent on during a drunken fight last July. E! News says that Weston and Nikki Williams Cage were married for 6 months. That's pretty much FOREVER in Kardashian time.
The World of Warcraft Britney isn't wasting MAC liquid eyeliner by crying it out onto his face cheeks. Weston is doing what his insanesei Nicolas Cage taught him to do. He's putting on some pussy-catching eyeliner, slapping a new layer of polish on his nails and karate kicking his way to the ladies. Weston put himself back on the market with this note on Facebook:
WELL ITS OFFICAL . THE DIVORCE IS SETTLED! ..................LADIES, DADDY IS BACK ahahahhahahaahh oh god! its on
"Ahahahhahahaahh oh god!" is the same thing Weston's new piece is going to say to herself when he makes her call him daddy right before the babysitter his father hired knocks on the door to make sure they're both on top of the covers.
"World of Warcraft Britney isn't wasting MAC liquid eyeliner by crying it out onto his face cheeks. Weston is doing what his insanesei Nicolas Cage taught" -Mk
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lOL MK, but Brit can't control 4 moves in Warcraft, while MAC eyeliner is PWNED by Weston. This writeup was all wonky, but we xo's and forgives and stuff. =P
Insanesei Cage, you must teach grass-twitcher-licker of the 36th chambers of Shaolin before anything is forgiven with Weston and his corner-street round-house antics of insanity. DISCIPLINE, GRASSHOPPA, DISCIPLINE!!
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"Tear up the Introduction! I don't hear enough rips!! This is a battle! Words and ideas CAN change the world. Poetry, Beauty, Romance, Love - these, we stay alive for." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VUV2Yl8gsI&feature=related -Dead Poets So
His tattoo is the word "hero", written in Greek.
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"Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy" - H. L. Mencken
hahaha, asshole
He looks too much like one of my exes with his head shaven, so maybe it's biased for me to say this but..grow that shit back!!
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
Submitted by elmo533 on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 7:41pm.
I HATE when guys refer to themselves as "daddy".
Similarly, women who refer to their guy as "daddy" when having sex.
Disgusting and creepy.
Submitted by elmo533 on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 7:41pm.
I HATE when guys refer to themselves as "daddy". I'd say that I hope that Nic's youngest son doesn't grownup to be like his big brother, but His mom is Korean and Korean's DON'T PLAY.
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Since his name is Kal-El, he's going to assume the name of Clark Kent when he grows up and become the hero known as Superman.
Or more likely, he'll become an emo recluse like his big bro. He can hang out with Bronx Mowgli Wentz and Pilot Inspecktor Lee and fantasize about the day they turn 18--when they can legally change their names.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
I HATE when guys refer to themselves as "daddy". I'd say that I hope that Nic's youngest son doesn't grownup to be like his big brother, but His mom is Korean and Korean's DON'T PLAY.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Does he have WARTS on his hands??
*voms*
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Beautiful face. Tiny thumbs. And we all know what tiny thumbs mean: small thumb rings and difficulty with buttons.
PASS.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
I feel really sad for him. Lost kid with a loser dad: too much money and freedom, not enough education or boundaries.
I thought it was Nick Hogan. Are the scummiest examples of celebspawn morphing into the same generic look?
I gave up dating insane guys about a year ago, and if I fall off the wagon, it'll be for someone much cuter.
beautiful eyes and he's fun with his kung fu obsession
i'm too reasonable for Internet conspiracy
I don't know why, but I like this kid.
At first (quick) glance I thought this was Michael Stipe. Upon closer inspection, he looks like a typical young, "edgy" douche. Nice eyes, though...
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WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
And this is a scion of the Coppola family. My, how the creative genes have been watered down in this case. Actually, I think he looks more like Joaquin Phoenix's kid - acts like him, too.
Submitted by kaisurf on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 1:08pm.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 10:43am.
Damn. I'd be scared as fuck to be riding a bus with this dude.
Nic Cage seems like a weirdo, but a functional one. Junior Cage looks like he was locked in the room with the yellow wallpaper for too long.
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Datura, you just made my day by referencing one my all-time favorite stories.
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Mine as well. I LOLed when I read this!
Dammit. There's no place for me to add him!
How is he only 20? He looks like he's old enough to have a 20-year-old
Those look like some fresh track marks on his hand. Maybe he's not crazy just on some smack?
" I deserve to be blown first"-- Mel Gibson
The World of Warcraft Britney isn't wasting MAC liquid eyeliner by crying it out onto his face cheeks. Weston is doing what his insanesei Nicolas Cage taught him to do. He's putting on some pussy-catching eyeliner, slapping a new layer of polish on his nails and karate kicking his way to the ladies. Weston put himself back on the market with this note on Facebook:
WELL ITS OFFICAL . THE DIVORCE IS SETTLED! ..................LADIES, DADDY IS BACK ahahahhahahaahh oh god! its on
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Ok so firstly - hell yeah exactly with that description and secondly EXPESHALLY with that weird ass note sounds JUST like is Daddy (wait - is that what he means by Daddy's back?!?).
Can you imagine dinner conversation with these people? Don't you just hate it when you sit down with people who have the habit of saying ALMOST witty things and then they sit back to drink in your enjoyment of their wit but you din't really enjoy it that much and now they're paying so much attention to your non-reaction that it's totally conspicuous and umbearably awkward? I hate those fucking people.
They're way better on the internet where I can either 1. trash them openly or 2. pretend like I din't read that shit at all.
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
This trick is a waste of space.
He'd be a perfect match for Blohan.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
"ήρωας" is greek and means "hero" btw.
"Ahahahhahahaahh oh god!" -what every woman thinks.
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Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
He's not a bad looking guy, great eyes. Obviously totally fucked in the head though so no thanks.
He does have beautiful eyes. What does the tattoo mean?
Dog,
He had PIERCING HAUNTING EYES HE WILL USE TO MAKE MORE BABIES!
@ Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:07am.
Spaz de la Huerta's character on Boardwalk Empire always calls her men "daddy" in that loopy, slurry, little-girl creepy voice she's got.
FMI, looked up this dick-heads mom - Christina Fulton, listed as an actress, but hasn't done anything since 2000. And they were never married
For a while it seemed like everyone was pregnant. Then getting arrested. Now getting divorced.
I can't believe this guy is only 20. He looks like he's been doing some serious partying for a long time.
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 11:02am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 10:38am.
God I hate the whole "daddy" thing...
Waaaaay creepy, and a major turn-off. BTW, who is his mom? Was Nick married to her?
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yea, "daddy gonna give it to you good" BARRRRRRRRRRRRRF and no clue who this punk's mom is....
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
LOL i think there must be a slight earthquake in La right now
*shaky shaky*
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 10:38am.
God I hate the whole "daddy" thing...
Waaaaay creepy, and a major turn-off. BTW, who is his mom? Was Nick married to her?
Yeah that shaking is annoying... maybe heavy trucks going past??? or Blowhan shaking in fear is makeing the ground tremble?
The news I have been waiting for!!!!!! STAND BACK, he's mine...don't make me pull out my shank.
He does have beautiful eyes, though. Too bad he's such an emo goth nutball.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
You know his dad is insane and dorky, but at least Nic Cage inspires a strange sort of affection. His son is just a ten year old playing at being a grown-up.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
So much for an ammicable split
GG, I keep waiting for some idiot to bump the camera that's focused on the court seal and knock it sideways. Can you see it vibrating with all of the commotion? Classic!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 10:54am.
Spicey, your avie is HOT. Can I haz some?
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Be my guest ;-)
"I paid good money to get eaten out" - Samantha Jones
PSL, I agree. Dumb as he is for agreeing to the whole thing, I still feel bad for him because they are going to make him out for being a monster. They're saying her "camp" is already trying to get him blacklisted from clubs and personal appearances.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Spicey, your avie is HOT. Can I haz some?
HOw long does it take to get to a court room???
Anwyway...If Kris was chasing fame wouldnt that endear him to the family? Another famewhore??? NO?
This kid is severely emotionally stunted. He likes to think he's an adult and can do big kid things, but he acts all of about 12-13.
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Raising the bar for lowering standards since 1982.
Dog, Kris H will be the scapegoat. People are so pissed at this bullshit (I mean her "fans"), so they need someone to take the fall.
Of COURSE he got a publicist. Why wouldn't he? I think the K's were mad because KH didn't want to be under PMK's thumb having her as a manager.
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Gonna get me a little oblivion, baby
Try to keep myself away from me (myself and) me
-Counting Crows
No, thank you.
Wow - so no slut wear for court today? Maybe she's aware of the fact that she fucked up?
I am sure it will be on my local news in a few min....
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Gonna get me a little oblivion, baby
Try to keep myself away from me (myself and) me
-Counting Crows
In other TMZ news while we wait, they're saying one of the reasons KK cites for divorce is that Kris was chasing fame. SAY WHAT?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
SpiceDong, you're right. He looks like one of those white supremacists.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 11/02/2011 - 10:47am.
dressed like a school marm Marilyn!
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cameraman for tmz SUCKS... fucker gets the worst shots. Everyone left his ass behind hahahahahahahaa MOVE IT FAT BOY!
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
TMZ live feed fail! I'm going to have a seizure from the shaky camera. They got some blurry shots of the sidewalk and paparazzi ass.