Eddie Murphy Follows Brett Ratner Out The Door
Brett Ratner bowed out as producer of the Oscars last night to devote more time to making love to a bowl of shrimp scampi and now his homegirl Eddie Murphy is doing the same thing. But Eddie wants only transsexual hooker shrimps in his bowl, thankyouverymuch.
The Academy president let out a statement today saying that Eddie believes in "bros before ho...scars" shit and feels like it's wrong for him to stay on as host without his partner in douchery. As his assistants packed up the dozens of lady fat suits he planned on changing into throughout the ceremony, Eddie said these words:
“First and foremost I want to say that I completely understand and support each party’s decision with regard to a change of producers for this year’s Academy Awards ceremony. I was truly looking forward to being a part of the show that our production team and writers were just starting to develop, but I’m sure that the new production team and host will do an equally great job.”
Where do I sign the "Courtney Stodden 4 Oscar host" petition? Every presenter will have to say "...and the glisteningly glimmery Oscar that my long lingering fingers are sumptuously caressing the succulent heat off of gorgeously goes to..." and the show will be cut short halfway through after Courtney is kicked out of the theater for tarnishing the innocent no-eyes of the statues by being too sexy. Courtney Stodden 4 Oscar host! Get the "Betty White 4 SNL host" people on it.
via Deadline
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Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 10:56pm.
Johnny Carson was great...maybe they could drag Billy Crystals ass out there one more time?
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Loooooved Johnny. Mr. Smooth. Maybe they could "beam him in" with holograms.
I think Billy is being considered. He'd be good too.
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Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 10:46pm.
Johnny Carson was great...maybe they could drag Billy Crystals ass out there one more time?
I was thinking Queen Latifah. She did really well hosting the grammys.
Someone mentioned Kathie Lee and Hoda. Love their show.
Johnny Carson was the master.
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The only way this mess would be remotely watchable is if they brought George Carlin back from the dead. And even then, it would probably suck.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
I was looking forward to Eddie hosting the Oscars--oh, well.
Bill Murray!
no one gives a larks ass about the oscars i thought that was understood a long time ago?
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
TEAM DAVE CHAPELLE.
Just for the jump the shark hell of it, why not Kathy Lee and Hoda?
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 3:31pm.
Steve and Edie.
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I'll co-sign Steve and Eydie, but only because Flip Wilson has passed.
They have their own website:
http://steve-eydie.com/
Eddie Murphy is too afraid of bombing.
He still feels he has "Delirious" to live up to. He hasn't done a live gig in a long time.
So this was just a convenient way of getting out of it.
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The Americas - Occupied since 1492.
Why do black male comedians need to dress up as obese women to get a successful franchise going in Hollywoood?
Stop and think about the world. It isn't right.
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Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it...
ONLY DAVE CHAPPELLE COULD REPLACE EDDIE..
I never linked Murphy's tranny hooker episode to his penchant for playing obese women before but maybe there is a connection somewhere.
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Silly rabbit.
Submitted by Cat Scratch on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 4:03pm.
Eddie Murphy looks so vacant these days, I mean, I've hated him since I heard his homophobic fucking act but still. He's just puffy and disinterested and fucking Scary Spice, he seems really depressed and bored...totally lost his edge.
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Seen him on a few talk shows lately hawking Tower Heist. He basically says that he has enough money that he doesn't need to work. Ever. He admits to being bored with his life and needing something to do. Seemed a little humbled.
I was looking forward to the Oscars just to see how he was going to do. I can't think of any back in the day successful comedian who didn't incorporate homophobia in their act? Can you? As a word, "homophobia" didn't even exist.
this is one of the dumbest things i have ever heard.good luck with that comeback, eddie :-(
Vintage clothes 1920s-1980s http://vintageclothesretro.com
People still watch the Oscars? Whoever kisses the most ass wins? Stupid.
Fishsticks and Asston.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:33pm.
Jon Stewart.
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i concur
how many self-important celebs do you think will purposely not go this year due to this shit? it's an adult version of "im taking my barbies and im going home!" fucking ridiculous.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Eddie Murphy looks so vacant these days, I mean, I've hated him since I heard his homophobic fucking act but still. He's just puffy and disinterested and fucking Scary Spice, he seems really depressed and bored...totally lost his edge.
Just hand out the awards and let everybody go home.
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It's not that serious.
My Occupy Hollywood sign for new Oscar Host:
PLEASE NO YOUNG PEOPLE WHO LACK CHARISMA & TALENT
SO THAT MEANS ALL OF YOUNG HOLLYWOOD!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Sorry. This double post sucks.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Someone needs to be reminded that beggars can't be choosers.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 3:26pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:09pm.
How about the Silver Fox and Kathy Griffin?
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Good God no. I am so tired of both of them.
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CO
SIGN
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
My vote is for Regis as Oscar host. With a little Kelly Rippa thrown in too.
Steve and Edie.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:09pm.
How about the Silver Fox and Kathy Griffin?
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Good God no. I am so tired of both of them.
He should be thanking his lucky stars anyone asked him back on TV at all, the twat.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:27pm.
How about the Lonely Island crew how makes those hildarious shorts on SNL with Andy Samberg?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lonely_Island
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YES
Rupaul. Eddie Murphy will show up then too.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:23pm.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:19pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:09pm.
How about the Silver Fox and Kathy Griffin?
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Yes indeed! MK would lose his mind live-blogging that shizz!
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Is 'live-blogging' slang for masturbating furiously? lol
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Someone would have to live-blog MK's live blogging, to report on the furious masturbation. And of course we'd need a live video feed.
*starts popping popcorn now*
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:23pm.
sorry, dp
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Awwww, you don't have to apologize for a dp around here! Lots of us are big fans of dp.
*grins big*
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:42pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:33pm.
Jon Stewart.
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He'd be perfect! I'm such a geek for "The Daily Show" followed by "The Colbert Report".
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Jon S did it before and was too safe and bland. Very disapptoining.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:33pm.
Jon Stewart.
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He'd be perfect! I'm such a geek for "The Daily Show" followed by "The Colbert Report".
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:14pm.
Stephen Colbert is brilliant and is hella funny. I effing adore him. I just don't think he'd be a good fit for the Oscars because he's always in character.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Perhaps they should bring back mah boo and his fuck all y'alls swagger. I don't watch award shows but I've seen snippets of his "over it" performance which seems to match the general public's attitude.
Franco, ftw.
Gotta fly, have a nice night you little bitches :)
Bring back Billy Crystal and Whoopi, they were the best. Or dig up Bob Hope and Johnny Carson. Altho the show will still drag on and on and still suck the old wang.
i nominate george takai (zulu) & tyler perry in drag to host oscars
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Jon Stewart.
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Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:26pm.
Lololol @ the idea of Ferrigno and Matlin co-hosting. Yikes, did I just ridicule the disabled?
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Why yes you did Mickey, lol!!!
Submitted by mike on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:24pm.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:21pm.
Yep. Self-congratulatory nonsense.
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That's the funnest part...laughing at their asshole self-importance.
ETA particularly Julia Roberts and Sean Penn.
How about the Lonely Island crew how makes those hildarious shorts on SNL with Andy Samberg?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lonely_Island
I'm totally behind Andy & Kathy and I'm sure Revlon would be also. But let's not forget about LL & Mr. Sheen.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:20pm.
Justin Timberlake this afternoon: "Chatter chatter chatter Justin Timberlake! chatter chatter Justin Timerlake! Chatter chatter...."
Look for him to then rush to Twitter saying he's trending.
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At first I was going to say HELLS NO but he can't be worse than James Franco/Anniebannanie.
Lololol @ the idea of Ferrigno and Matlin co-hosting. Yikes, did I just ridicule the disabled?
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RUSTY & CAPPY, vous nous manquez! Soyez gentils et donnez-nous de vos nouvelles!
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:13pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:02pm.
TEAM RICKY GERVAIS
Thats the right choice!
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Have I told you lately that I love you?
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 2:21pm.
Yep. Self-congratulatory nonsense.
MK please stop posting Kim K's wedding pics
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11