George Clooney And Farts Should Get Married
We might have finally found the one thing that can break George Clooney's anti-marriage vow and not surprisingly it's farts! They say a way to George Clooney's heart is through farts and they're right. George Clooney loves farts. George Clooney could kiss a fart. George Clooney could suck a fart out of a fart's fart hole. George Clooney could sit next to a fart in a restaurant booth. George Clooney could marry a fart if a fart knew how to fart out the word "yes." George Clooney could give a fart a key to his Lake Coma villa. Every time a butt farts, a George Clooney laughs. That's how much George Clooney loves farts.
In an interview with Rolling Stone, George shared his love of the other queef and also talked about how he lost his virginity at 16 and once had underage sex with a rope (cut to Jerry Sandusky praying to come back as a rope in his next life). The fart usually comes at the end of the meal so I'll save that quote for last.
On people not seeing The Ides of March: "It's not designed for everybody to see, but I don't give a shit. I don't need to be more famous and we shot it for $12 million, so anything we do is nice."
On having dry sex with a rope: "I believe it was while climbing a rope when I was six or seven years old. I mean, nothing came out, but all the other elements were there. I remember getting to the top of the rope, hanging off the rope, and going, 'Oh, my God, this feels great!'"
On Stacy Keibler's Tweeting: "She can do whatever she wants. I rarely tell anybody what they should be doing with their life."
On his favorite thing on earth, the anus exhale: "We think it's one of the funniest things in the history of mankind. Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there's nothing funnier."
Well, it's nice to know that you can always count on George Clooney for a laugh when he fucks a fart out of you. That really is the worst. Nothing kills the mood like a laugh brought on by a sex fart. We all love to let out a HAHA over a good fart, but please have some decorum and keep your laugh to yourself when your piece lets one go as your genitals do the Dougie on theirs. We're all adults here and adults stay in character after any kind of mid-fuck fart. Don't break the fart wall by laughing, because it's pretty much impossible to recover from that. Grow up, George!
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The difference between giving up and letting go is that giving up is to sacrifice something belongs to you while letting go is to drop those never belong to you.
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I know I'm a couple of days late.... but I laugh at sex farts!!!! I know it's gross, and they usually come from me), George I symapthize(sp?) with ya!!!
BOOOOOO! you MK for that "Grow up" line. **************************************
Cure for cramps: weed. Weed for everything, really.- Bjork You
Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 4:28am.
night Becky :) I won't diminish your opinion, and I hope I haven't by what I said. I just see talk as just that, talk. People say things that are wrong, offensive, un-defendable, sometime funny because it's sooo wrong..... I just see an opportunity there to say what I think, that counteracts what was said. That's my right to say whatever I think, and others have the right to disagree. And that's cool.
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Submitted by from athens on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 4:21am.
I think the crutial word here is 'jokes'.
Would you, for one moment, turn a blind eye to a real asault on a child? I know I wouldn't. I could give less than one fuck about a joke made on a blog though.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 4:16am
Two days, three long threads - it's a cumulative discussion.
I'm off to finish the dishes now, then to bed. (I didn't sleep very well last night due to the heat here.)
Goodnight My2Cents. :)
it is not about sides,it is about the pedo jokes
Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 4:07am.
Becky, all sides have their viewpoint, and as far as I'm concerned, I like to hear all of them. I may not agree, but i don't want anyone to censor themselves.
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Submitted by whole lotto luv on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 4:02am.
No one runs anyone off here. If Mr Mercury decided to disappear.. that was entirely his own decision. Case in point, I saw Stoney attacked pretty harshly here in another thread, by several commenters, she held her ground and defended her opinions. She didn't throw in the towel and cry 'victim'.
As for what sucky said that offended Irish Fury, I've never known her to back down. If she was offended, I doubt she didn't articulate that.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 4:02am.
As Bjork said earlier, it's not about taking sides. :)
Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 3:44am.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 3:35am.
No, I don't believe for a second he would ever say that to me. This was part of an ongoing argument that escalated into very unpleasant territory.
The question is, when a joke ceases to be funny and causes genuine personal upset, has a line been crossed?
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This has happened before here, with a poster named Mr Mercury. Suckandfuck was obnoxious, and Mr M was presumed to be thin-skinned. Subsequently, Suckandfuck, Snowpiece, and someone else declared themselves the Triumvirate. I can't remember the third party. But they thought it was cute that they ran someone off.
IrishFury seemed to be genuinely pissed at what Suckandfuck was posting the last couple of days. If she's really good friends with the morons of the day time, she'll get over it and say everyone else is over-reacting.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 3:44am.
Becky, all I can is, if a joke crosses the line, and people are genuinely upset... people have a valid reason to be hurt, horrified, etc. I still haven't read all that transpired here. I do know that humour is sometimes used by some to minimise the damage that REAL hurt does. I won't analyse sucky here, he can best explain himself.
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pedo jokes should be targeted,it is not very difficult to understand
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 3:35am.
No, I don't believe for a second he would ever say that to me. This was part of an ongoing argument that escalated into very unpleasant territory.
The question is, when a joke ceases to be funny and causes genuine personal upset, has a line been crossed?
Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 3:29am.
OK, I get what you're saying. I see this happen all the time. Several people may have extreme or offensive comments to make, but they are ignored and others are targetted.
I suspect people weigh up how seriously the comment is made? Everyone knows sucky is just omg gross. lol. And Mrs PC is almost a caricature. That leaves the rest of the commenters as targets, I get that.
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Submitted by becky n sydney
Becks, do you really think he'd say that to your face? And mean it? He's posting on a website, a snark website that can handle adult humour, and lawd knows he pushes that humour to the edge.... But still. It's not meant to be heard by children, or taken seriously.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 3:16am.
Submitted by becky n sydney
You know what? I suspect I kind of don't need to. I am reading through the threads just now though....
OK. I get sucky's humour. He says inflammatory shit that relects stereotypical attitudes, and I can't see how that is being offensive. It's throwing offensive attitudes back in the face of those that have an issue.
Occasionally. sucky is offensive for the hell of it. This is pure shock value humour... I still can't take any offence.
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Hi,
I wasn't choosing sides. For me, it's not about liking or disliking one poster over another. I'd feel this way if it was posters whose writings I hadn't read or was that familiar with. And it's not about trying to rescue Mrs. Patrick Campbell. It's also not whether or not I found the comments offensive. It's about the lynching of one poster, Mrs. Patrick Campbell, on the Pedo Chef thread and the absolute silence, save a few trying to lighten up/steer the conversation, to what suckandfuck wrote, repeatedly, and over two threads. That's all.
Also, it was clearly offensive to Irish Fury, and his subsequent comments were directed to her.
But I'm sure all be cool, which is how it should be. Just exercising my First Amendment right to comment.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 3:16am
I get Sucky's humour, too. But I do think there was more of a personal edge to it today, compliments of last night's argument regarding the power of words.
As a mother, I would never want someone to tell me that they intended to fuck my children, even in jest. A line was crossed.
Submitted by becky n sydney
You know what? I suspect I kind of don't need to. I am reading through the threads just now though....
OK. I get sucky's humour. He says inflammatory shit that relects stereotypical attitudes, and I can't see how that is being offensive. It's throwing offensive attitudes back in the face of those that have an issue.
Occasionally. sucky is offensive for the hell of it. This is pure shock value humour... I still can't take any offence.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 2:59am.
Hey Becky :) It just helps sometimes if anyone takes offence at a post, then writes an objection to those posts, to know which post they are referring to.. it seems it is all of them... dammit, I only have so much time to dig through everything!
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You really have to decide on your own. Any one of us could just summarize what happened, but you have to decide on your own when the line was crossed.
@My2cents
You're gonna need to put aside a good hour to read through all three threads. Especially the one last night, it was a marathon! :)
Hey Becky :) It just helps sometimes if anyone takes offence at a post, then writes an objection to those posts, to know which post they are referring to.. it seems it is all of them... dammit, I only have so much time to dig through everything!
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Submitted by whole lotto luv
Thank you, I am doing so right now. So far... I see sucky being his usual self, ironically offensive.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 2:34am.
@ Bjork You
I got that part... it's the comment at 2.13 a.m. that has me scratching my head. What coment is this directed at?
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Read this thread and then the Aronofsky OP.
@My2Cents
Hey there!
Bjork's comment is referring to umpteen posts today over two threads, which have been the outfall from an argument late last night on the Ratner thread. Some of the comments made today have been quite extreme. They started on this (Clooney) thread, and went through the OP.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 2:34am.
@ Bjork You
I got that part... it's the comment at 2.13 a.m. that has me scratching my head. What coment is this directed at?
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For that, I think you need to read the entire thread.
@ Bjork You
I got that part... it's the comment at 2.13 a.m. that has me scratching my head. What coment is this directed at?
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MyTwoCents,
I was saying hello to becky, the other Australian, and telling her to meet me in the Open Post, the one with the Darren Aronofsky PSAs on meth.
Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 2:13am.
wtf are you talking about? Can you please post a comment reference in future?
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Hello sheila.
Meet you on the OP.
yes suck and fuck enough with the pedo shit,you are not funny, just pathetic
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That pedo shit wasn't funny or provocative or flip, and if Mrs. Patrick Campbell had written anything similar to what was typed on this thread regarding kids (not billy goats, children, and the children of a poster), and then carried over to the Aroofsky OP, he would have been run off the D.
It wouldn't matter if he later explained that he was being metaphorical about "fucking all of your kids" or he was just exercising his First Amendment right.
I suspect that there would have been more Report Abuse buttons hit than when he posted his comments on the Pedo Chef thread.
This isn't about liking anyone. Say what you want and expect and get, or not, what others have to say. So I'm saying:
Maybe it was a private joke between suckandfuck and Irish Fury. But if so, perhaps Irish Fury should have been let in on it. Or maybe it was collaborative performance art on the part of both, and it was a lesson to teach us about tolerance and hypocrisy.
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how is having dry sex with a rope pleasurable for a man? i don't get it.
and he doesn't tell anyone what to do with their business? except POSE SASHAY POSE FACE POSE
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Ahahaaahaaa! omg, my throat hurts from laughing. Great thread. MK, you would be the greatest fart partner. This post just about killed me!
"That really is the worst. Nothing kills the mood like a laugh brought on by a sex fart. We all love to let out a HAHA over a good fart, but please have some decorum and keep your laugh to yourself when your piece lets one go as your genitals do the Dougie on theirs. We're all adults here and adults stay in character after any kind of mid-fuck fart."
HAHAHaaaa! I have the mental age of a 9-year old.
*wiping tears*
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On having dry sex with a rope: "I believe it was while climbing a rope when I was six or seven years old. I mean, nothing came out, but all the other elements were there. I remember getting to the top of the rope, hanging off the rope, and going, 'Oh, my God, this feels great!'"
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Ummm...I thought that only happened to girls.
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
OMG! SUZY FARTKIS! WHAT A HOT STORY!
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Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it...
He's right. Farts are fucking awesome.
I had this kickass roommate in college who was really smart and studious but still loved to party. We were sitting in our dorm room studying one night and she cut a hella loud one and then lets out this long sigh of satisfaction and says "God, I love farting." What a riot.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 7:51pm.
Farts are HILARIOUS! Suzy does win the internetz today for sure.
When Mr Hekki and I first got serious he took me camping. In the morning he informed me he was going outside the tent to pee. He let out a fart that sounded like a fucking trumpet. I jumped out of my skin and then busted a gut laughing. Later that day he told me he loved me!
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Finally! Some other couples that laugh at their farts! I felt like the day crew here was going to pummel me with shame for thinking farts are hilarious. I mean Christ on a Cracker peoples, we all do it and we might as well acknowledge it and learn to laugh it off. My husband has seen much me in much more disgusting situations and never backed down(while pregnant I passed clots the size of my palm). He always makes sheet-ripper farts after sex and I have no complaints.
Farts are HILARIOUS! Suzy does win the internetz today for sure.
When Mr Hekki and I first got serious he took me camping. In the morning he informed me he was going outside the tent to pee. He let out a fart that sounded like a fucking trumpet. I jumped out of my skin and then busted a gut laughing. Later that day he told me he loved me!
I used to have a boss with Crohn's disease and sometimes I would go into his office after he had let some gas out and I would pretend it didnt smell le a garbage dump on fire. He was the best boss EVER so it was worth the stench.
An oldie but a goodie...
An elderly man walks into to a doctor's office...The doctor asks, "What's the problem?" The old man replies, "Well, Doc, I have this situation...It's embarrassing, but I've been having a problem with silent gas. Last week I was in the library and I had silent gas three times...Just this past Sunday, I was at church and had silent gas five times...And Doc, it's getting worse, just sitting here talking to you, I've had silent gas eight times...Is there anything you can recommend for this problem?
The doctor looks down, then looks at the elderly man, "Yes, there is" He proclaims....
"A hearing aid."
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
You're welcome Sweetas - at least it was good for something!
Flynn and ritzyroxie - if you ever want out of a relationship, you know what you need to do!
I love how "Farts & Queefs" is a tag! LOLOL
Maybe "Farts & Hard-ons" needs to be added (?)
George needs to sign Camille Grammer up as his next beard. Her IBS symptoms would provide hours of boundless mirth.
Aw Suzy I would have been horrified too at the time, but what a great story now. Thanks for sharing - that is effing priceless.
*adds to repertoire and high fives roxie*
Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 4:53pm.
Ok Flynn and Sweetas! This one's for you
well played Suzy, well played
Sweetas - I spent the day (probably that whole month actually) wanting to crawl out of my skin. There's nothing worse than knowing you've sabotaged a relationship you're still totally into then cementing your new 'unsexy' status by farting naked into your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend's mouth!
Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 4:53pm.
That's just...wow. I'm going to file that away in playbook my break up schemes, now.
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
HAHAHAHAHA omg Suzy!! Ahahahhahahahahaha you win the internetz today! I'm so glad you can laugh at that now because really, that may be the best send off of all time. *wipes tears*
Ok Flynn and Sweetas! This one's for you.
This was about 13 years ago. I had this boyfriend that I was totally in love with but I'd started really messing things up a few weeks previously. My dream job, my first 'real' one as a copywriter at an ad agency was turning out to be a stressful nightmare, and I went through a really insecure phase and took it out on him. He was putting up with it for the most part but I could see it was taking its toll and I realized I was blowing it and it might be past the point of no return. He was still seeing me and hadn't said anything but I could feel him pulling away and I really couldn't blame him. But I was hoping it was still salvageable and was hoping I could make up for being a jerk.
On the day of this revelation he stayed over. I was painting my bedroom and had moved my mattress onto the living floor and that's where we slept. When I woke up I rolled over and said 'I love you' and he replied 'And I you.' I told him he sounded like Diane Chambers. I knew it was over at that point. He never spoke like that and was obviously just trying to be polite but couldn't say those words back.
So I'm feeling completely heartbroken and panicky. I got up, with no clothes on, and went into the kitchen and kind of walked around in a bit of daze and for some reason which will always be a mystery to me, I suddenly ran over to him, he was now lying on his back on the mattress on the floor, and I jumped on the mattress so my feet were on either side of him and I squatted over his face and right at that moment I let out a huge fart. Right in his face. I jumped off stunned and said 'I'm sorry!' and he's looking at me totally incredulous and says 'Why did you do that?!' I said I didn't know I was going to fart and he said 'Right, you jump on me and squat over my face but you didn't mean to fart.' I could see why that might not make sense. Needless to say, this did not help rekindle the love and it all fell apart a few days later.
Now that I'm married and have a daughter I can laugh my ass off at that story, but it took a few years before I would allow myself to even think about it. Not exactly how one wants to be remembered!