Hot Slut Of The Day!
Slavoj Žižek, Slovenian philosopher, author, researcher, theorist and overall fancy smart cunt who embraces the black cloud of depression when he sees my kind clapping the happy clap over cat videos and shit.
My favorite intellectuals include Khia, Maurice Sendak, Megan Fox, Spaz de la Huerta, and now I can slip Slavoj's name into that illustrious list thanks to this interview with the Guardian that Dlisted reader Amanda sent to me. Slavoj has the angst of an Emo tween, the golden crustiness of an Andy Rooney rant , the woe-is-me-ness of a Morrissey song and is so tortured and twisted that Daniel Day-Lewis should play him in a Merchant Ivory movie.
Slavoj hates all of us and wishes that he never won the race to his mother's ovaries. I'm in love. Let me cunt the ways....
What is your earliest memory?
My mother naked. Disgusting.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Indifference to the plights of others.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Their sleazy readiness to offer me help when I don't need or want it.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Standing naked in front of a woman before making love.
What makes you depressed?
Seeing stupid people happy. (Ed note. Cut to me clapping the happy clap over cat videos and shit)
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Watching embarrassingly pathetic movies such as The Sound Of Music.
What do you owe your parents?
Nothing, I hope. I didn't spend a minute bemoaning their death.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my sons, for not being a good enough father.
What does love feel like?
Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.
Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it?
All the time. When I really love someone, I can only show it by making aggressive and bad-taste remarks.
What is the worst job you've done?
Teaching. I hate students, they are (as all people) mostly stupid and boring.
How often do you have sex?
It depends what one means by sex. If it's the usual masturbation with a living partner, I try not to have it at all.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That life is a stupid, meaningless thing that has nothing to teach you.
I bet some shit by Wagner plays whenever he enters a room. I bet seconds after he enters a room, he rips all the paintings off the walls, tears out every page of every book on the shelf and then pounds at the carpet (that's how he says "hi"). I bet he screams at his shit in the toilet for being a piece of stupid useless shit. I would swoon over Slavoj some more, but somebody just sent me another cat video that I have to clap the happy clap to.
Sounds like your average teenager. STFU bitch. Actually, he's pretty funny. Looks like he's saving a place for you, MK.
"What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Indifference to the plights of others."
My my, what an elgant way of saying he doesn't give a fuck. I only wish I was so well-spoken.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by Madam Pince on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:35am.
This guy needs a long vacation to Margaritaville.
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Hahahaaa!
.
.
he is soo hoootttt
i'd try to hit it.
he sounds like the hundreds of damn emo kids that I was in HS with.. I always wanted to kick them down the stairs.
I can't hate. I really can't. I think I love him, actually....I'm not even being sarcastic. I would lift up his fupa of misery and lovingly thrust myself against it...
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
What a melodramatic cunt. Someone give this asshole a BJ and tell him to lighten the fuck up.
Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:27am.
Am I the only person on the planet who has never seen "The Sound of Music"? I'm almost 49.
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Aw, you're really missing out. I heart that film. I've watched it every Christmas since I was a little kid. It gives me the warm fuzzies...and that's coming from someone who generally hates musicals. I don't think I'll ever tire of it.
I love Zizek. He's hilarious. He's also brilliant but I digress...
Here's my favorite clip of him:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Maex3jW0Yw8
zizek on dlisted... fuck yeah, you're the best michael k!
i found his answers hilarious.
This miserable crusty cunt is my new idol (after Michael K, of course).
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
It depends what one means by sex. If it's the usual masturbation with a living partner, I try not to have it at all.
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This statement sums it all up for me.
Send him keyboard cat MK!
Somebody send this poor curmudgeon a basket of kittens STAT! Or a pick-me-up basket of Wellbutrin, Xanax, and Mountain Dew... and maybe a slab of bacon (my favorite combo to beat depression).
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
Love, loooooooooove me some Zizek! But then I grew up with Eastern European parents that shared this sunny disposition and I generally think that there's something wrong with people that DON'T think this way.........deluded, clueless assholes. I just think he's a realist.
So why doesn't he just off himself now, before Christmas; when he will have to witness unbridled joy in the radiant faces of small children?
I know that's my plan.
At least he's honest. My favorite saying is: If you ask me, you might regret it.
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
That interview reads like a myspace meme from a 16 year old goth boy.
I like the answers of dlisters for these questions. Pardon the whack syntax.
What is your earliest memory?
-My father beating my mother.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
-I see both sides of a story, it leads to being thought of as disloyal.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
-Laziness and Arrogance, REALLY hate when combined.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
-Intimate moment, padding came out of bra and fell to floor.
What makes you depressed?
-If I stop and think about it, that I won't get to see every corner of this planet.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
-pr0n, and 2am quesadillas.
What do you owe your parents?
-Thanks dad for showing me how it's not done, thanks mom for showing me how it's done correctly.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
-Sorry mom for not become the mover and shaker you thought I could be. But, your grandchildren are.
What does love feel like?
-Pleasure, then pain.
Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it?
-No. I've said it then changed my mind, but meant it at the time.
What is the worst job you've done?
-Cash room of a department store counting hundreds of thousands daily then being handed a 100 dollar check at the end of the week.
How often do you have sex?
-Whenever I want.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
-No matter what others say, when it's a true life or death situation, only your mother will stand ground with you....if you're lucky.
Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 9:50am.
Poor miserable dude needs to replace Joseph Stalin's portrait over his bed with a huge picture of nekkid CoCo.
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Ha, ha!! I think I like Coy CoCo more, the CocCo who wears size 1 bikini with A cups for her body, and then tries to cover up.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 8:50am.
People like this are fun to tease. I'd make him watch happy cat videos with me and clap my hands extra loud just to hear him groan.
Hos like this exist to make people like me feel all cheerful and shit by comparison.
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Ditto.
Submitted by Richiegay on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 10:58am.
he reminds me of my great grandmother from the "Old" country. Slovaks can be a bit tiresome.
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Slovaks are from Slovakia.
Slovakia is not Slovenia.
They're not even next to each other. Austria is in between them (though Austria used to own both of them). Slovenia has borders with Italy, Austria, Hungary and Croatia.
You can speak Czech in Slovakia, but not in Slovenia. (As my dumbass friend found out)
The Slovene language is unique. It is Slavic, but has many Latin words and some German ones.
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"If Michelle Duggar's vagina is under God's control, then God has some explaining to do." -- hotpocket
I nominate D-listed reader Amanda to replace Detective LaToya.
Loved all your comments. Funny and thought-provoking.
Not gonna watch it.
I love Amy and Democracy Now, but she does not have a good sense of humor, methinks. She was very awkward when I saw her on the Daily Show or Colbert Report long ago. (Have seen her on other occasions too).
Submitted by sapien on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:01pm.
Anyone who has a moment to kill, watch him telling a graphic joke to Amy Goodman and Julian Assange while they cringe in their chairs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hge_I1fqG10 (starts @ 2:00).
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Unsurprisingly, I love this guy and have a couple of his books, which are quite lively and even funny.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
lol@sapien's link
that was the most awkwardly told graphic joke i've ever heard.
dude is very excited by his thoughts.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YTkxr3j2HQ&feature=related
LisaRose: I haven't seen The Sound of Music! I find musicals torturous.
Wow, why does this guy even go on? I can't imagine what motivates him if he's being honest in his answers. I mean come on, that photo? Pathetic and indulgent, like a whiny kid. Either he's depressed or this is his schtick. I get what he's saying (except for the parents comment, that is unbelievably cold) but he seems like a prick. Imagine the issues the mother of his children must have to have had kids with this dink. My husband's a brilliant academic but you would never know he was one. There's something very endearing in that.
Submitted by Chirio on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:35am.
What does love feel like?
Like Menstrual cramps!
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Wow Chirio, I've never heard that one before but it's kind of fitting.
Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:27am.
Am I the only person on the planet who has never seen "The Sound of Music"? I'm almost 49.
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I've never seen a Julie Andrews movie, except for one of the Shrek movies I saw on a plane once. I wasn't actively avoiding any of them, but I just realized it one day and now I occasionally bring it up to piss off some musical loving friend.
Anyone who has a moment to kill, watch him telling a graphic joke to Amy Goodman and Julian Assange while they cringe in their chairs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hge_I1fqG10 (starts @ 2:00).
Submitted by sweet_b on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 9:33am.
I hate this whole notion that if your smart it's so fucking hard and life is depressing
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That's because you're a fucking moron.
Ugh.
and he has a statue AND pic of Stalin.
Loser.
kitty vids, please!
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Wow, Sucks to be him.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 9:38am.
This guy is every spoiled, self-righteous goth teen from high school and hippie kid I ever knew in college crammed into one. I LOVE IT!
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So true! I want someone to create a Slavoj app that you can ask important life questions of or tell happy news to, and it'll only respond with dark depressing shit such as this. In a Slovenian accent.
Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:27am.
Am I the only person on the planet who has never seen "The Sound of Music"? I'm almost 49.
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I've tried many times, and succeed once. I don't have the attention span for long movies or musicals. But I do remember the music from various music classes in school.
LOL. I'm just gonna laugh. Here's my answers if I was asked such questions:
What is your earliest memory?
Having coffee this morning
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Caring for others/and things around me
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
For others not taking responsibility.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Trying out the marriage thing
What makes you depressed?
The world, wars and chocolate (Thank you Easter basket that I got when I was 11 that made me hate it).
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Laughing at people who fall on their asses/drunks!
What do you owe your parents?
ahahahahaha Nothing! Lets not go there.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To myself. for taking on false responsibility.
What does love feel like?
Like Menstrual cramps!
Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it?
No!
What is the worst job you've done?
working for others
How often do you have sex?
I am asexual
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
No matter how many punches life gives you, get the fuck up again and again.
Coma Caca!
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This guy needs a long vacation to Margaritaville.
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"... a wail that sounds like a deaf cat in heat getting DPed while jumping on a trampoline during an earthquake."
Each to his own and God against us all.
Michael K: Thank you for making me laugh every morning.
And now I go forth to flunk my greek test today...
Am I the only person on the planet who has never seen "The Sound of Music"? I'm almost 49.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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People think depressed people are just negative. However, research shows people with depression tend to have a much more realistic take on the world because they don't have on "let's turn a negative into a positive" blinders. It's not negativity it's straight up realism.
Just sayin...
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You dumb bitch, I am home.-MK
I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with the donkey.
Submitted by catwoman on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:22am.
People think depressed people are just negative.
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ITA. Negative people aren't necessarily depressed (although he does admit to being depressed by happy people, that doesn't mean he suffers from clinical depression). This guy just seems like a Negative Nelly. He definitely wins Misanthrope of the Year! And I found a few of his responses hilarious, esp the stupid people happy thing and the mother naked thing. As well as the 'standing in front of a woman naked before making love' as his most embarrassing moment. Lol.
Dude, someone give this asshole an enema of rainbows. JAYSUS.
*pops prozac*
Submitted by Tony Perkis on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:01am.
SOMEBODY could use a visit to THE HARMONY HUT!!
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Bless your heart for posting that
SOMEBODY could use a visit to THE HARMONY HUT!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5LTQhBQaAQ
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Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it...
he reminds me of my great grandmother from the "Old" country. Slovaks can be a bit tiresome.
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
This guy must be a hoot at parties.
Have they no antidepressants in Slovenia?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
He's right, I feel the same, but if I would let myself really express what I'm thinking in the way he does it, I would have no reason to justify my being and would have to kill myself instantly. But since I don't trust people I am pretty sure that they would slaughter me and sell my organs and 5 years later the ones who got my lungs would sue somebody as they would have developed lung cancer.
So I keep on living. And sometimes it's even fun.
Assburgers!