Mad Mel's Sperm Must Be Stopped
Mariah Yeater isn't the only trick who's slowly pushing Maury toward an early retirement so he can finally escape the paternity test fuckery. Star Magazine (via Radar) is reporting that some nobody from a short-lived reality shit show called Secrets of Aspen is telling her friends that she's pregnant with a blank check signed with Mel Gibson's old man jizz. Mel Gibson's dick: truly the gift that keeps on giving gold diggers the debit card baby of their dreams.
A source close to Laura Bellizzi claims that the fetus growing in her uterus is nearly 4-months old and she's trying to keep the identity of its father a secret from the media. Laura took a few unprotected rides on Mad Mel's wrinkled Swastadick over the summer after mutual friends introduced them. One of Laura's friends, Bridgette Willis, tells Rumor Fix that Mel is the father and the only way he'd be happier about this is if his newest spawn was born with a Hitler stache and sugar cube nipples. Bridgette put it like this:
“In fact, it was not long at all after she and Mel met that she became pregnant with his child. I don’t know if the baby was planned but I know Laura has told me that she and her parents are just so happy!Laura told me, ‘Mel and I have a connection we are deeply connected. We talk every day on the phone.’ I believe from what Laura has told me Mel Gibson’s intentions are to keep this pregnancy under raps. Mel Gibson is taking care of Laura financially. This will include a luxurious home in a prominent gated community in Ladera Ranch in Orange County that she will soon move into. Also, she has told me that their baby will be enrolled in an elite private pre-school in San Juan Capistrano, CA. Last I was told there is a pre and post birth arrangement that has been instilled by Mel Gibson that will also include a trust fund for the baby. Laura has told me that she hasn’t asked for anything from Mel Gibson.”
Laura's lawyer denies that Mel is the co-maker of her unborn child and Mel's rep says this is a pack of lies. But I'm not sure....
The last time Mad Mel didn't destroy his anti-Semitic sperm fish by wrapping a rubber yarmulke over his peen head before sticking it in, he was exposed as an abuser of ladies, babies, Jacuzzis, telephones, voicemail boxes, ottomans, ear drums, nerves, etc... etc... So is Mel stupid enough to do that shit again? Yeah, totally. Mel is no match against an ambitious gold digger with smarts and drawing skills!
Mad Mel made a vow to only cum during a blowjob before Jacuzzi, but Laura wasn't going to let that stop her. Laura painted a beautiful Aryan lady face over her labia lips, threw a wiglet over the face and then did an elbow stand. Then as Mad Mel approached her, she used the ancient art of cuntriloquism to flap her coochie lips as she said, "Oh, my Catholic Prince, allow me to blowjob you before Jacuzzi." BOOM. Pregnant. Bitch is the Einstein of gold diggers.
• 
"Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great...
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite iraaaate...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8
tee hee hee
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 2:27pm.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 2:08pm.
CTH, is that your way of saying you don't wanna fuck me? ;)
Oh, I'd fuck you. I'd fuck you so hard.
"Puts the fucking lotion on it's skin"
I think it's great that you want to fuck each other!
Mel didn't fuck anything and he still gets fucked.
Note to stupid rich men:
Stop jizzing inside of golddigging tramnps.
Signed,
Your Bank Account
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
If this is true, she should be getting some crazy phone calls right about now.
Funny how women get super fertile when they are whoring themselves to celebrities.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 2:08pm.
CTH, is that your way of saying you don't wanna fuck me? ;)
Oh, I'd fuck you. I'd fuck you so hard.
"Puts the fucking lotion on it's skin"
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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.
I have to admit something -- I have a huge crush on Maury Povich. Whew, that felt good to get off my chest, since we're discussing paternity & all.
CTH, is that your way of saying you don't wanna fuck me? ;)
DO NOT PUT YOUR BALLS ON MY FACE UNLESS I'M SUCKING YOUR COCK! M.E. 07/11/11
We all know that Mel professes himself to be a "good" Catholic, but hasn't he heard of "coitus interruptus"???
Pull out the cock, Mel!!!!
I hope it is not his... but it sure makes a good scandal!
P.S. Why do all these broad THINK they have a "connection" with Mel? Mel barely has a connection to reality.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
aside from the fucking, I swear I have a deeper relationship with you sluts than mel has with that hor.
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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.
I hope Mel had a vastectomy after the last crazy bitch...... that would be funny!
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Submitted by Secret Original on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 1:47pm.
Seriously, can't he just jerk off instead? It would be a lot cheaper.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
LMAO!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
He may be stupid enough to get a chick pregnant again, but thankfully he's smart enough to get the financials taken care of. I don't think I could stand another month of voicemails and he said she said.
*steals jackson left by jacuzzi and puts a washington in it's place*
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YTkxr3j2HQ&feature=related
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 1:45pm.
They have both denied it, people in Mel's camp have said it's "physically impossible", so why is everyone having such a coronary over this story?
^^^^^^^^^^^
When I first saw that "physically impossible" thing, I assumed he had a vas. But then I realized that his ego is waaaaay too enlarged to ever do that, so I'm left scratching my head over it.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Seriously, can't he just jerk off instead? It would be a lot cheaper.
Man, his kids must be mortified by this cranky old bitch.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
They have both denied it, people in Mel's camp have said it's "physically impossible", so why is everyone having such a coronary over this story?
They have both denied it, people in Mel's camp have said it's "physically impossible", so why is everyone having such a coronary over this story?
Mad Mel needs his sack cut off!
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:04pm.
WTF is an elite private pre-school?
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UGH. It is part of big bux competitive childrearing. There are schools in NYC like this, you "apply" (i.e. BUY a place for your child) before junior is born.
Without this, the baby's entire life is SURE TO BE NOTHING BUT FAIL.
My Mel crush days were when he played Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome. And the only reason why i had a MAD crush on this beast is because I was blitzed out to the MAX.
NO.FKIN.WAY.NOW
Is this some Boys from Brazil shit or what? Is he populating?!?!
While he told all the world to go see the Passion (which I didn't, and will never ever... on principal) and said that jesus was speaking through him, you could audibly hear the screws in his head loosening.
So... no... nothing this food does surprises me anymore.
I betcha in his sick and twisted mind, he believes that this is what he should be doing... populating the world with his offspring. The ego on this fellow is enormous... he probably thinks all sorts of things like that. Seeing as he was all religious for a few minutes (wasn't it catholic, too?), he probably doesn't believe in birth control.
And don't forget... God gave him a free pass by making the bloody jesus movie, so he doesn't have to be in the "sanctity" of marriage to have a kid, yet be good with god.
This chick... happy to have Mel's kid? Parents happy, too?!?! ugh.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 1:07pm.
this can not be true. i refuse to believe he doesn't think he should use birth control or get himself fixed. it just boggles my brain. why would anyone his age, with his wealth and all his grown kids, want babies with women he will never be in a relationship with? he had a shot at raising a family, this is sickening. another custody trial for sure, lord help us. i just can't with this.
I bet the dozen or so kids he had with his first wife, Robin, are all not-so-gently putting their mugs in the palms right now.
They deserve a proper inheritance dealing with that dick all their lives.
‘Mel and I have a connection we are deeply connected. We talk every day on the phone.’ I believe from what Laura has told me Mel Gibson’s intentions are to keep this pregnancy under raps. Mel Gibson is taking care of Laura financially. This will include a luxurious home in a prominent gated community in Ladera Ranch in Orange County that she will soon move into. Also, she has told me that their baby will be enrolled in an elite private pre-school in San Juan Capistrano, CA. Last I was told there is a pre and post birth arrangement that has been instilled by Mel Gibson that will also include a trust fund for the baby. Laura has told me that she hasn’t asked for anything from Mel Gibson.”
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LOL pure bullsheet! He would never agree to give her $$ before a paternity test. And hasn't asked for anything? Really?
Also, "under raps"? FAIL
Okay, this one is a poser for me because I just do not understand who on earth would still want to sleep with this road turd now. Back in the day, hells yeah, but now he's just nassy. You know he smells like stale Marlboros and Vicks Vapo Rub.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I call bullshit. Mel is a racist. He would never keep something under "raps."
"...she's trying to keep the identity of its father a secret from the media."
Yeah. OK.
From what I read, Mel's camp is saying its "physically impossible". Either Mel the Chimp has cut his vas deferns or suffers from bad case of limp dick.
Take your pick.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
I'd let Mel knock me up for $15 million. He makes cute babies and all's well. But he would need to stay the f out of my life forever.
Sorry wandered off, what were we talking about? * leaves a Jackson by the Jacuzzi for M.E.*
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
isn't he a tad old to not know about condoms?
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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.
Mel Gibson . . . Makes. My. Skin. Crawl.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
I would so kill myself if I were one of his real kids.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
How deeply connected can they really be.
Wyy would any woman be "delighted" to be pregnant with a man she doesn't know (no matter what claims) and just humped a couple of times. And why would her parents be delighted - do they not have higher expectations for their children?
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Dark-sided!
this can not be true. i refuse to believe he doesn't think he should use birth control or get himself fixed. it just boggles my brain. why would anyone his age, with his wealth and all his grown kids, want babies with women he will never be in a relationship with? he had a shot at raising a family, this is sickening. another custody trial for sure, lord help us. i just can't with this.
this can not be true. i refuse to believe he doesn't think he should use birth control or get himself fixed. it just boggles my brain. why would anyone his age, with his wealth and all his grown kids, want babies with women he will never be in a relationship with? he had a shot at raising a family, this is sickening. another custody trial for sure, lord help us. i just can't with this.
Thanks M.E.....because I am so tired, I am bursting into tears all the time. But I know it will get easier.
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So I turned myself to face me, but I've never caught a glimpse of
How the others must see the faker,I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Yes, the pole in hole connection can be very deep indeed.
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RUSTY & CAPPY, vous nous manquez! Soyez gentils et donnez-nous de vos nouvelles!
Ok Laura...if Mel offers you $15 mil, YOU FUCKING TAKE IT! A smart ho learns from the fuck ups of the hos who tread before her...
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
PSL congrats on quitting! It will get easier!
Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:46pm.
This latest true or not, it's clear enough Mel is a mentally ill prisoner of jizz. Anymore he's like Blanche Hudson, trapped and abused by Jizz Baby Jane.
LMFAO
"Falls off chair"
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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.
Ec, I have not coughed since Monday, so I am already feeling better!! I know all I have to do is stick to it. I am expecting to be a mess for a month or so, have been warning friends. But I know it is the right thing for me to do now. The not sleeping thing was what has held me back from stopping for years. But most days I don't work until 2, so I have the option of napping before work again....today I have my Karate lesson at 12:30- I hope I don't fall on my face.
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So I turned myself to face me, but I've never caught a glimpse of
How the others must see the faker,I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
This latest true or not, it's clear enough Mel is a mentally ill prisoner of jizz. Anymore he's like Blanche Hudson, trapped and abused by Jizz Baby Jane.
****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:38pm.
PSL - no sleep? Por que no? Still the caffine withdrawls or did I miss something?
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She quit pot.
Mel must have been stoned! Aryan cuntriloquists don't have kinky black hair.
Submitted by LMA618 on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:26pm.
In his defense she was dressed like a pig in heat.
Fucking LOLOL Thanks, after the last thread I really needed the laugh.
Yep, well on his way to becoming the likes of the Duggars. Whacked out religious beliefs? CHECK. forty eleven chirren? CHECK. Enough money to get the US out of debt? CHECK.