Victor Garber Approves!
Bradley Cooper's orthodontist poster smiler and his always glistening coke eyes are blessing People Magazine this week and it's not for a glorious "Yup, I'm Gay!" cover. It's not even for a "World's Sexiest Beard Wrangler" cover. People could've dropped a fire in all our no-nos (yes, I'm speaking for all of us again) by giving Prince Hot Ginge the title or they could've dropped more fuel into Pimp Mama Kris' money-hungry charcoal heart by putting the crown on Khloe Kardashian's head, but they went with B. Coop of all hos. I smell a Garber! If you go to Google Earth right now, type in "People's World Sexiest Man ballot stuffing," it will dramatically pan down into a Manhattan office and show you a clear shot of Victor Garber throwing you a wink while sitting on the ballot box. I've always said that it's Victor Garber's world and we're just living in it, so I can't be mad.
People says they chose B. Coop over serial panty creamer Ryan Gosling, because he's a major mommy boy, a Georgetown graduate and can butter everyone's baguettes by speaking the French. People also forgot to say that they really chose B. Coop, because his publicist promised to give them the sloppiest blowjob in the form of future exclusives.
After last year's Mister World's Sexiest Man Ryan Reynolds handed B. Coop a bouquet of roses, slipped a sash over his chest and straightened his crown, he gave this acceptance speech:
"I think it's really cool that a guy who doesn't look like a model can have this [title]. I think I'm a decent-looking guy. Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying."
Other dudes who made the list include: Gosling, Brian Williams, Liam Hemsworth, Justin Theroux, Idris Elba, Joel McHale, Chris Evans, Jason Momoa, Alec Baldwin (???????), Dylan McDermott and Tim McGraw.
To me, B. Coop is about as sexy as a soft dick in a used condom, but anything that gives Victor Garber the tingles gives me the tingles.
• 
You bitches can stop insulting Bradley now, OK??????????????
It's clearly a ton of jelly g8 going on in here and Irish Fury isn't impressed!
Irish Fury is gettin' UPSET!
It obvious that you are all fat and have no lives and if you don't like him, why did you all read the post and comment? Huh? Yeah, that's right!
PURE JELLYISM!
Don't listen to them Bradley. Snuggle into my boobs and I'll comfort you.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by mike on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 9:51am.
Bull Fucking Shit.
I'm sexier than this bore.
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WE DEMAND PICS!
*swoops into thread*
I saw "Sucky" and "sex" in the same sentence and just had to check it out!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
sucky's making me do a sex wee with his comments! :D
What dbella said. Skeevy skeevy skeevy. I hope the sex was good for VG, because I can't imagine a classy guy like him fooling with a ho like BCoop.
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"I've always said that it's Victor Garber's world and we're just living in it, so I can't be mad."
I agree with agirl. He was very sexy in the Hangover (good lighting, good suit?). He does not look very attractive in those pictures, though.
That is one creepy, closeted gay right there.
BCoop kinda looks like a rodent in that cover photo. All he's missing are whiskers.
Idris Elba is the truth!!! B.Coop, Reynolds, and Gosling are all so meh and interchangeable to me. But that gotdamn Idris is what sexy is all about...the way he walks, the way he talks YUMMY!
Fuck B. Cooper!! FFFFFUUUCCCKKK B.Cooper! All night long :-P.
Bradley Cooper is so ugly. He looks like Beavis. Or Butthead.
Add me to the David Muir line.
<"Submitted by cripbabe on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 10:28am.
frankly, I can't tell the difference between Bradley Cooper, Gosling, Reynolds or that other faceless whore who's fucking the Aniston">
Me either. No wonder Leo gets every role.
Oh please! He's not even the sexiest gay alive. I even find him slightly repulsive.
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 10:38am.
TEAM RYAN AND SUCKY WERE ROBBED. Isn't this guy ghey like boston61?
Whoever said David Muir, I'm with you. HOTNESS
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Leenie, just imagine Sandbitch photoshopping Sucky's face on People's cover! Hahahaha
TEAM RYAN AND SUCKY WERE ROBBED. Isn't this guy ghey like boston61?
Whoever said David Muir, I'm with you. HOTNESS
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Sat, 07/23/2011 -
Is playing a cunt on the internet as satisfying as wanking into your mum's nightie? Because something tells me you'd know all about that.
Pfft. With mharker.
How do I give Idris Elba my number? Oh yeah, in my fucking dreams.
I can understand Alec Baldwin, he's like a man's man if that makes sense. Sweaty but manly.
NOT!
He is akward cute and from shot to shot in a film he can go from geeky dorky looking to co cute sometimes, but hot?
Hell to the naw!
Plus, he's gay and homosexual-like.
Dylan McDermott has 15 years on him and is HOT.
That is all.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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frankly, I can't tell the difference between Bradley Cooper, Gosling, Reynolds or that other faceless whore who's fucking the Aniston and I blame Ben Affleck for starting the shitty craze with his talentless ass. they all look alike - boring, unsexy men with about as much screen charisma as a turnip. closeted queer or not, they're major yawns, so hey, good on whoever gets to gulp the jizz for his client getting crowned such a dumbass thing.
gosling is wwaayyy sexier and quite the panty creamer,bcoop is just meh to me....
Seriously how do you keep the beard that short? Do you shave and not go out for two days? So many questions!
What a bunch of BS!
Suck&Fuck for Sexiest Man Alive!
BOIIIIING
And the PR machine just keeps on spinning....
This guy cnn't even open a movie and most people are still laughing at his bearding with Squinty.
First, TEAM VICTOR GARBER
Second, B. Coop. is OK. I approve of the chest and facial hair. He was very sessy when he was wearing that dark suit in "The Hangover".
I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers, but I wouldn't say he is sexiEST.
Joel Mc-Mutha-Fuckin'-Hale! People gets points for that. And for Idiris Elba.
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Silly rabbit.
He is good looking but has condescending insufferable asshole face. FAIL.
OMG what rock have I been under that I had to google Idris Elba??? Now THAT is sexy People, not this unsalted knock off brand cracker.
LMFAO @ "Jason Cometourmomma"!! And BSF who's in your avi??
*edited cause I haz tha dumbz*
This dubious award is just assigned by People magazine, not actually voted -- right? I don't understand why we need to be told who the sexiest man alive is every year. Who subscribes to this bullshit?
Doesn't anybody shave anymore? Hair faces!
He doesnt always photograph well so for a while I didnt get it but after I saw Hangover 2 on the big screen i fucking got it, he looks ugly in some angles but on the big screen he looks fucking amazing, its the funniest thing because clearly you do not see that here but there is hotness there
All the fat chicks at Wally World will love flipping through People at the checkout with their Dorito dust stained mitts.
"But I don't see myself as a ladies man"
OH GIRLFRIEND! NEITHER DO WE!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Jesse James and Trace Cyrus would have been stellar.
My vote goes for Chumlee on Pawn Stars.
@mike...pics required, but I do not doubt you.
and BCooper is sexy...for a girl and shit.
Jason Cometourmomma is sex.
Liam Hemsworth? Ummmm how 'bout Chris Hemsworth?! asshats.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
BCoop is hot for sure, but I thought it should have gone to Ryan Gosling.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
YES! I don't care what anyone says - Bradley is GORGEOUS!!!! I love him! (notgaynotgaynotgaynotgay)
Ryan Gosling looks like an ugly, inbred hillbilly, I hve no idea why anyone finds him attractive.
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Dark-sided!
They should call this list what it actually is, "The Sexiest Man Alive Whose Publicity Team Coughed Up Enough Coin To Put Their Face On Our Stupid Magazine."
Though I'm surprised Lesbeaver's people didn't pay for this in their relentless effort to brand that mutant as something more than an ugly, stunted, asexual, thumb-sucking Muppet.
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
Submitted by dbella: "I've always found Bradley Cooper has a skeevy vibe. He's got a weasel face and a schmarmy smile."
Ditto. He reminds me of Patrick Bateman (from the book, not the movie).
People Mag is *so* in the bag for this "award." Please.
Matthew Bo(n)er is ten million times hotter than BC.
Your Boo has a new talk show to promote so why is Brian Williams press agent better? Oh wait, Boo never actually bowed to Obama.
are you effin kidding me? bradley cooper? sexiest man alive? last year ryan reynolds and now this boring twit? neither have any sex appeal at all. people is stupid.
THIS IS THE MAGAZINE WHO CALLED QUEEFFACE LOPEZ SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE AKA THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE HENCE THE NAME OF THE MAGAZINE.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Bull Fucking Shit.
I'm sexier than this bore.
What he looks like is if you stretched Chairlie Day's face vertically just a bit. Charlie's at least funny, though.
Hillbilly Miley's BF is sexier than this mess. He is the male = to horsey Anne Hathaway....how sexy? Oh, I cosign on the Idris Elba comments and add that Momoa could get it too.
Fucking Tim McGraw and his fucking hair plugs.
Riiiiiight.
He is not. I can think of many that deserve that title (even though the title itself is sort of ridiculous). He is not one of them.
Mmm....Bradley. Yum, yum, bubble gum!
I like Brian Williams and all, but his crooked nose is distracting. I have a slight nose fetish. My husband's nose is perfection. I tell him people pay alot of money trying to get that nose. Michael Jackson would have made him part of his harem just to touch the tip...of that nose.
Submitted by Anonymousfckr on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 9:05am
head like a f*cking orange is sexier than this douche