Kris Humphries Wants To Sue The Kartrashians
It is so damn slow today that I'm dangerously close to cumming in a banana peel and calling it news. Actually, I just might, because that would probably be a tad bit more interesting (not really) than this mess from Life & Style. Their sources say that the reincarnation of Herman Munster, Kris Humphries, is planning to herp derp out a $10 million lawsuit against his fraudulent wife Kim Kuntrashian and E! for smearing his wholesome image by portraying him as a homophobic doucheknob on Kourtney & Kim Take It Up The Ass. Well, I've always looked at Kris as a gigantic block wood whose head produces slobber instead of thoughts, so now seeing him as a gigantic block of wood whose head actually produces thoughts (even homophobic ones) is almost a step up. But Kris doesn't agree and is going to sue the piss stains off of Kim as soon as he figures out how to operate a Yellow Pages and look up the number for a local "loyurr."
The source says that Kris is worried about a scene in a upcoming episode of Kourtney & Kim where he goes after Kim's best friend Jonathan Cheban. Kris pokes at Jonathan about being gay even though Jonathan is completely straight. The source went on to say, "Jonathan isn't gay, but Kris accuses him of being gay and criticizes him for it in a really homophobic way. Jonathan is really upset. Kris used the word 'gay' as an insult, to try and hurt Jonathan. He's the lowest of the low bullying someone like this."
Kris' father William Humphries, who has a PhD in OBVIOUS, believes his son was set up and that "Kris got used --100 percent used."
Meanwhile, Pimp Mama Kris has put the training she learned in White Oprah's "Voices of Many Sources" class at The Fame Whore Academy to good use by calling up UsWeekly as an "unknown tipster." The "unknown tipster" said this about how Kris treated Kim:
"He tried to control Kim by bring her down...He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn't last. [He even called her a] fat ass.
So not only is Kris a gigantic block of wood whose head actually produces thoughts, but sometimes his head produces thoughts that are 100% correct. This fake marriage and even more fake divorce has really transformed his reputation as dumber than a dingle to this country's foremost free thinker. Move over, Megan Fox.
And yeah, all together now: JONATHAN CHEBAN DOESN'T LIKE DICK?!
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Funny how there are so many stories on what a dick Humpheries was and how cruel he was. Well..she knew he was a big ass snobby kid from day one, and that didn't mean jack shit, all she wanted was a wedding to peddle free shit and get loot from $$$ from advertisers and sponsors. It was all a sham. Humpboy here is looking for his paycheck.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by But_Im_A_Member on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 12:56pm.
Regarding Kim's size, she did an interview with some magazine claiming her measurements are 36-26-40, is 5'2 and weighs 118 lbs. 5'2 is short, but I don't see how she could weigh only 118 with those measurements.
because she is a liar...
i am 5'2" 36-29-40, but heres the catch... Abitch like me is a smooth 130, and a size 2? yeah aiight and i got caught sucking bruce jenner's dick from the back in the outhouse....
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Cure for cramps: weed. Weed for everything, really.- Bjork You
the truth is a horrible thing to say! shame on him!!!
I can't look at him now without picturing Andy Samberg saying, "DUH" and signing the marriage license with an X.
LOL - me too.
But quite honestly, she has no fame, her talent wont last and she has a fat ass. Maybe he's not as stupid as he seems.
AMEN
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Submitted by not shocked on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 7:27pm.
people get all upset because Sasha Grey, sans fard and fully clothed in soccer mom clothes read to children. But it's okay for little girls to watch these plastic fucking whores and admire them and strive to be like them.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
What all of you said.
And SUE THEM!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF THEM!!!!!
I hope Kris' lawyer is super-hungry.
people get all upset because Sasha Grey, sans fard and fully clothed in soccer mom clothes read to children. But it's okay for little girls to watch these plastic fucking whores and admire them and strive to be like them.
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http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/2011/11/sasha_grey_reads_to_compton_k...
I have no love for any of the players in this fat-arsed farce, but I do hope Derpy has managed to glean some incriminating information on the vile family during his brief association.
I hope he gets every penny from that money grubbin' piss loving slut and her family.
She Stinks!
Submitted by Few Words on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 3:37pm.
he looks like organ monkey
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LMAO!
...der...it's funny cuz it's true...
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malibu mom
Do not watch their show on Sunday or even tape it, get then gone.
Ratings girls!!! They target young girls to get ratings. These girls actually think Kim cares about them and they look up to her, bet they have not seen her get peed on by a man in her sex tape. Disgusting, who lets a man do that. Lets get some other show in it's place...boycott that show on Sunday...go American Girls...you deserve better role models...
i dislike the kardashians all together.. but when flipping through channels i'd catch kris on E! and he is a total douchebag. lesson be learned kim get to know someone before you marry them.
well he did call it right, her fame didn't last and she is a fat ass. score one for Lurch!!
Expose all their dirty secrets? That they are bunch of no talent famewhores and some like to be pissed on?
He should sue his own ass for being so fucking gullible to be taken in by this passel of camera-whores. He must be pissed off that neither he nor his despicable ex are getting *any* good press whatsoever. If I were him, I'd go play b'ball in Slovakia or some other far-off spot where he can ride this never-ending shit-storm out.
I know they get death threats, why are these people being so lazy??!! Goals are nothing but dreams, if you don't accomplish them.
Sex-sided! - Sucky
Submitted by malibu mom on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 3:21pm.
E! Channel is getting nervous. The sponsors are pulling their ads. Yeah, Winning!!!
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you have a source for this or is this just delusional wishful thnking?
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
The Kuntrashian media machine hard at work, while the actual Kuntrashian Klan sits on their asses counting their millions and practicing their poses for the paps. Nice work, fucking whore ass bitches, especially you, Kim, you idiotic, vapid, plastic, fake ass human latrine.
These fuckers prove the universe is a mean ass bitch.
he looks like organ monkey
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malibu mom
E! Channel is getting nervous. The sponsors are pulling their ads. Yeah, Winning!!!
BOYCOTT ANYTHING JENNER/KARDASHIANS
If Rob wins I am moving to CANADA!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
I say let's band together and file a class action suit against ALL these whores.
we'd win, ya know...
I always want to say YOUUU RAANNG, every time I see his face and that shutter thing Lurch does when someone says something stupid.
Humphries and Disick were plotting together in that episode where they went to Bora Bora and Kim lost her earring. You can just tell they both think they are smarter than the whole family and they're going to have a throw-down ala James Bond and Jaws in Moonraker. The thing is, Kim really is a bonehead and is also probably tired of mommy's controlling ways. Her getting married was her desperate attempt to do her own thing using her own pea-sized brain. She'll never be smarter than mommy, who of course got her in this mess in the first place. It's funny all the men involved with the Kartrashians sit and take it like the cowards they are just so they don't have to get real jobs. Whole family of worthless unemployed losers.
Looking at Kim's face on that cover, it's remarkable how much she has aged herself with all the botox and/or plastic surgery to her face. SMH
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by K2 on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 1:05pm.
I agree - seems Rob K has certainly had his votes bought for him. Who the fuck is he, anyway?The show is not called , "Dancing with the siblings of a reality star whore" .. The win should go to Martinez. Now that guy can dance! Sorry, Ricki, but you should just be happy with dropping a few pounds and call it a day.
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JR can dance and the judges shit on him. The man had his face burned off in Irag. Rob dances like an overstuffed Frankenstein and the judges praise him.
Good job rigging a reality talent show, Kris.
damn, good for him. Sorry, but I am on TEAM ANYONE that brings this loathsome family down. I don't give a shit if it is the Devil, the caveman Kris, Al Quaeada, the tiny leader of Korea, Jesus Christ and God...I don't care, just bring these talentless, corrupted, skanked out famewhores down. On a scale of badness, Kris comes out smelling like a rose, and Kim and her Pimp smell like what they really are, SHIT. btw, is Kim's face now 100% plastic, I have never seen such an unhuman face on a moving body...weird.
Kourtney & Kim Take It Up The Ass.
I'd actually watch if that's what it was called. A+ MK.
I can't look at him now without picturing Andy Samberg saying, "DUH" and signing the marriage license with an X.
That SNL sketch still cracks me up.
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And I feel fine any time she's around me now, she's around me now almost all the time.
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now,she's been with me now,for a long, long time,and I feel fine.
love that pic of him - hysterical
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what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
Kris Humphries is an arrogant, ignorant piece of shit. I've met guys like him before. I don't even know how to describe it. Just disgusting. I want to believe that Kim trapped him like a rat in a cage, but he is loathsome and was in on this.
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It's not that serious.
AW! The purple border is gone! *sigh*
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"He tried to control Kim by bring her down...He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn't last. [He even called her a] fat ass.
*blink-blink* but. that's. all. true...
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Watching the episodes with him in it was really uncomfortable. They talked so much shit about him and always kept him at a distance while he tried really hard to fit in. He just comes across as really gullible and aloof, kinda feel sorry for him.
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It may be a slow day, but you still managed to make me laugh my ass off, as usual.
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I tried to care, but failed.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
No More Kardashian, sign the petition.
http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/no-more-kardashian.html
His first clue that this marriage was a bad idea should have been when he claimed he didn't know she was married before and she didn't bother to tell him until after they were engaged.
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Ok what smart person marries someone who has been through half the NFL and has a pee orientated sex tape out? You fuck that person YOU DONT MARRY them fool.
Please dont support this family. Dont watch this dreck.
Is there a new post yet?
He's an IQ challenged dumbass; she's a slutty whore who would sell a video of herself taking a dump if it got her the money & attention she desperately craves on a daily basis. Both these douchenozzles need to disappear or die immediately...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by super martian r... on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 1:14pm.
How is being called gay offensive? It's offensive that you think it's offensive.
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It's not. I'm with ya
Odds are (depending on how they edit) he was joking around and said shit that can easily be taken out of context (again, editing)
Then again I wouldn't exactly nominate this kid for MENSA in a thousand years (he married her, that shows his intelligence level) so who knows?
You know what would be really cool? Old Testament style stuff. Like the earth opens up and swallows that entire family and the Hiltons and Lohans and John Mayer (for good measure).
Okay maybe that didn't happen in the OT, BUT IT SHOULD HAVE.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 1:24pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 1:21pm.
Angle, I'm so bored, I'd try it if I could. :-(
*le sigh*
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Bored? But there is a new purple border on the banner! It's so EXCITING up in here! But surrsly, we need some good scandal for realz. I think the celebs support this KimKardashianKlan (KKK, for future reference) becuz they keep us from digging up some real for real dirt. Same with LiLo
^^^^
I really hate to say this but we need a BloHan story.
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I think we should all sue them
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
malibu mom
Show me the legal documents! Not buying it till I see the filed date!
That show makes my eyes bleed and it makes one loose brain cells.
Watch you tube: Kardashiantis, Ignore For the Cure
Kim don't cry if we don't watch your show...you have other talents.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 1:21pm.
Angle, I'm so bored, I'd try it if I could. :-(
*le sigh*
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Bored? But there is a new purple border on the banner! It's so EXCITING up in here! But surrsly, we need some good scandal for realz. I think the celebs support this KimKardashianKlan (KKK, for future reference) becuz they keep us from digging up some real for real dirt. Same with LiLo.
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Tue, 11/22/2011 - 1:07pm.
He should sue her, and just release all the family secrets anyway because being an evilcuntwhorebitch is just fun sometimes. And the Kardashians have it coming to them too.
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Agreed!
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Angel, I'm so bored, I'd try it if I could. :-(
*le sigh*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
BTW, isn't Life and Style the official Kardashian rag? The mother writes and "advice" column in one of these rags, so I'm sure there will be all types of poor Kim stories in the near future.