Anne Hathaway Is Engaged To Some Dude Who Hopefully Isn't A Con Man
Anne Hathaway just won't let those "Anne Hathaway is a big ole' lez" rumors be great, because she is now wearing a promise to get hitched ring given to her by a dude who looks like Alice the Goon in disguise as Ryan Gosling. Anne's rep confirms to People that her 30-year-old boyfriend of 3 years Adam Shulman got down on one knee, gazed deeply into her TEEFS (since there's really nowhere else for your eyes to go) and asked her to marry his ass. Her rep also said that Adam, who is an actor/jooree designer (HA!), helped to design her engagement ring (click here to see it if you care).
Anne and Adam started bumping teeth three years ago right after she broke up with the Italian fiancé who claimed to be the CEO of the Vatican in order to swindle investors out of millions of dollars. Anne pretty much only started dating Adam so he could hump the memory of Raffy from her brain, but then she fell in love or something. Anne said this about Adam a few months ago, "I am very much in love with him, [only] Adam totally ruined my plan. I was really actually looking forward to a little alone time, and then I fell in love like a fool!"
You know, Anne's bright white Chiclets are looking extra swole in that picture, which could only mean one thing: the ho is knocked up! (Just go with me on this, you'll thank me later). This means that Anne is in no condition to finishing shooting that Batman shit, which means her role will have to be completely reshot, which means Julie Newmar will have to be brought in since she knows the role. We've been saved from Anne's Catwoman! Our nightmare is over. We can thank Adam for that. Adam may look like a creeper whose eyes are so beady from squinting through a tiny hole in a public bathroom to watch ladies pee, but he's our savior!
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Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 11:49am.
He looks kinda like a very small-featured Ryan Gosling.
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With some Scott Caan sprinkled on top.
I like her a lot. Congratulations and all that ish.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
he looks the son of Ryan Gosling and Mark Zukerberg and ....congrats !___________________________________________________i'm too reasonable for Internet conspiracy
He looks kinda like a very small-featured Ryan Gosling.
She really likes the average lookin Joe that's for sure. I think he's going to be bald by the time she walks down the aisle.
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 11:45am.
Tiny, close-set, lashless eyes are sooo sexy.
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LOL!! So true!! My mom says my eyes look like two piss holes in the snow.
*ba-buttons winks tiny eye at Spaz*
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
He's ooglay.
I don't mind her quirky looks. Although her features are awkward, she's still pretty. I'd much rather see that than some plastic alien Megan Fox/Kardashian face.
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Douchechill!
Fuck this trick. I hate Madonna but there is no doubt the bitch grew up middle class.
Anne here, that talentless idiot Portman, that utter joke Gaga, 'Fishsticks', jugs-for-brains Johansson - they are all a bunch of over-priviliged brats from the Upper West Side whose careers have been facilitated by daddy's connections and/or money.
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
This bitch has to have one of the physically BIGGEST mouths I've ever seen. I guess it needs to be to house those giant wooden blocks she calls teeth.
Tiny, close-set, lashless eyes are sooo sexy.
He looks like he talks with a lisp.
He's a bit too Dean McDermott-ish. And I can never decide about her--- one minute she looks gorgeous, the next she looks like a Picasso.