Courtney Stodden Is Bringing Back Classy Old Hollywood

Haven’t you always thought that the likes of Ava Gardner, Veronica Lake, Marilyn Monroe, Dorothy Lamour and Jean Harlow would be a lot more “classier” and “Old Hollywood-ier” if they teased their hair into an AquaNet nest, painted their titty balls a beautiful shade of Tang sludge, wore every Wet ‘N Wild product available on their face, wore an arm band that can double as a curtain holdback and carried a Fraggle Rock dog? You have, right? Well, so has the porn iguana that is Courtney Stodden.

Courtney tells The Fab Life that she’s bringing back classy old Hollywood and stuff like that. Thank EVERYTHING for this. The Seven Year Itch, The Sun Also Rises and The Blue Dahlia are such tacky pieces of trash and they can finally be remade with the kind of understated elegance that only Courtney Stodden can provide. I mean, classic seduction IS contorting your face like a dilophosaurus on the attack. OLD HOLLYWOOD: Courtney Stodden is finally doing it right.