Courtney Stodden Is Bringing Back Classy Old Hollywood
Haven't you always thought that the likes of Ava Gardner, Veronica Lake, Marilyn Monroe, Dorothy Lamour and Jean Harlow would be a lot more "classier" and "Old Hollywood-ier" if they teased their hair into an AquaNet nest, painted their titty balls a beautiful shade of Tang sludge, wore every Wet 'N Wild product available on their face, wore an arm band that can double as a curtain holdback and carried a Fraggle Rock dog? You have, right? Well, so has the porn iguana that is Courtney Stodden.
Courtney tells The Fab Life that she's bringing back classy old Hollywood and stuff like that. Thank EVERYTHING for this. The Seven Year Itch, The Sun Also Rises and The Blue Dahlia are such tacky pieces of trash and they can finally be remade with the kind of understated elegance that only Courtney Stodden can provide. I mean, classic seduction IS contorting your face like a dilophosaurus on the attack. OLD HOLLYWOOD: Courtney Stodden is finally doing it right.
Oh, CARP...she lived on Cockle St? Not far from where I used to live. Can anyone explain why almost NO ONE from her home town has anything to say about them? I can see why now people have issues with homeschooling, if this idiot is a product of such. I can't watch the videos, my head will explode from the retardedness of it all. Her mom's maiden name is Keller? OH GREAT! Wonder if she's related to the rest of the Kellers around here! That would explain SO MUCH! Bunch of brain-dead redneck hicks!
Her father must be proud of his little sweetheart.
And top boob-ridge is obviously painted-on! Gross.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
I seriously just fell in love with her. Genius performance artist. Adorable. Go CoSto! Team Slutty Iguana! Where is John Waters???
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Will not watch this trick.
She's young so she probably thinks "old Hollywood" is Pam Anderson in Barbwire.
I get it, she's an avant-garde performance artiste!
i'm pretty she's a hoax or an artist experience---------------------------------------------i'm too reasonable for Internet conspiracy
Even her dog looks white trash.
REAL 17 year olds aren't concerned with careers. And those tits are fake. Final answer.
Submitted by Tracy Lynn on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 6:48pm.
If she's gonna bring back old hollywood, I suggest silent films.
=====================
Submitted for your consideration as best comment of the post. . .
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 8:27am.
Doug Hutchinson reminds me of Norma Desmonds butler. Catering to this idiots every whim! He is even more pathetic than she is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXXX! One of my favorite movies, ever. I even love the parody of it on the Carol Burnett Show. Casting von Stroheim in that was pure genius.
Old Classic Hollywood for Courtney would be more like the Black Dahlia, not the Blue Dahlia. If she's cut in half we don't have to hear any verbal nonsense or see her spastic lizard facial movements.
►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄
Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Damn this bitch is exhausting to listen to, why are her titties so squashed? Anyhow, do I have permission to shoot her or at least just hit her with a good right hook?
Hey now, Eeeeevil. Doug is hwat in a really creepy way. My guess is she's the first girl he slept with who he didn't have use an air pump on first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
@Dog- Yeah, how much of a pig is she that she just drops, throws, tosses, kicks everything on the floor? At 17, you should probably be able to stop with the Widdle Pwincess schtick, and start acting more like an adult, especially when you are close to being one AND are married to a 51 yr old closet case!
Doug Hutchinson reminds me of Norma Desmonds butler. Catering to this idiots every whim! He is even more pathetic than she is.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 8:17am.
My only comment to that was what the hell is she doing that she gets her foundation on the damn FLOOR?! She is so beyond useless, it's sick. I love how she said Maroon 5 and Train are "new" bands. Is she really that stupid??? And yeah, Monsoon 5. He does that to make her giggle, I guarantee you he knows good and damn well that's not the name of the band.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Don't forget Doggie, he picks up the coffee beans that she spills AND her foundation up off the floor.
I just can't with this trick, and I will definitely think tv has sunk to new lows when, not if, but when she gets her own reality show.
Who in the hell wears a robe with a feather boa collar in this day and age? The last one I knew was Lisa Douglas on Green Acres- Oh wait, that is her and Doug's favorite show.
Monsoon-5. HOW.STUPID!
She gets out of bed in the sexiest outfit you ever saw. I don't even want to know what that might be. And she doesn't get up until noon and her husband cleans up after her and cooks for her. Yeah, you have such a rich and fulfilling life. Sounds like he really does love her and will do anything to keep her but she's totally using him. No fool like an old fool even if he isn't that old. BTW, there's a second video at Celebitchy which is where I saw the rest of this mess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Oh for fuck's sake, please make it stop!!
Does she take drugs willingly or do they crush them up & put them in her food? *smh*
*****************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
your career at the Spearmint Rhino?
the power of michael k compels you!
the power of michael k compels you!
She does realize Baywatch doesn't count as old Hollywood, right? Because she's failing at her task...
**********************************************
I only have until Dec. 2...please help! :)
http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/melanieturner/polar-bear-plunge
Amy Sedaris (who plays Jerri Blank in Strangers with Candy) would nail a CS impression. Especially that grotesque mouth grimace thing-- which reminds me of Jerri Blank's mouth. But honestly-- CS transcends parody. How can you parody *that*? She's already up to eleven, off the cliff. Ne plus ultra.
This is the first time I see/hear this chick in action. I just can't believe she's for real-- she's like an over-the-top obnoxious SNL/ MADTV character. Like, this has to be as much a performance as Joaquin Phoenix's crazy bearded thing. As MK put it earlier-- Chris Guest, you can come out now & take a bow. Please, Chris?
I'm beginning to wonder if she has a mental illness (duh, I mean we know that. But...) that has already been diagnosed. Her tongue and mouth movements remind me a lot of patients I've had that were on antipsychotics and had developed tardive diskinesia. Usually means a dosage tweaking is needed.
Either that, or that kid needs to see a neurologist. 'Cause that shit ain't normal.
I've never seen anything "Daddys" been in, but I've heard he's a pretty good actor. If he would have kept her in his acting workshops I'd have to question how reputable he was. Lol. 'Course, he did end up marrying her. Maybe he just didn't want to tell her he wouldn't have her back for an advanced workshop because she sucked so bad!! =)
______________
Dawn O: Have you always wanted to be a writer?
Michael K: "I wanted to be a trophy wife, but that never panned out."
Michael K, Technorati Blogging, December '09
Lollollol @ "dilophosaurus on the attack". Seriously now, this can't be real.
----------------------------------------------------------
*in a deep, manly voice*
"Like sands through the hourglass... so are the days of our lives."
Cocaine is a helluva drug.
______________________________________
I LOVE CARTWHEELS
Damn...up until now I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and just assume she was another poor kid who got snatched up by a creepy older guy, but when you hear the shit that comes outta her mouth you just wanna sort of hit her in the head with something large and heavy until that voice stops making noise. My God...she's so fucking dumb.
Eat Whale Blubber
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 8:46pm.
Terri, I'm going to need some more of those stories.
-------------
I'm full of them. I have 2 ex'es in prison, I've been left at the altar (well, almost), and so many about my family.
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 8:34pm.
I can't wait to see her in the remake of "Gilda," slinking to a new version of "Put the Blame on Mame, boys," Rita Hayworth style.
Now this bitch was hot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVI0A4DTVgg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was also super hot BEFORE the *Caucasian-ing* she had to do to *pass* in Hollywood.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
Holy Fuck.
This girl is exactly like Marshll's (Eddie's second husband) girlfriend in AB FAB (in the hot tub) who is from LA called "Cherish with a Y".
Terri, I'm going to need some more of those stories.
Stories like that are half the reason I come here. MK's killer writing and the collective intelligence and the snark, of course, but I really love the stories from everyone. About exes and ILs and odd co-workers and human-acting cats and gay drug dealers and so on.
Where's her femme fatal (typo, and it stays) sidekick?
I can't wait to see her in the remake of "Gilda," slinking to a new version of "Put the Blame on Mame, boys," Rita Hayworth style.
Now this bitch was hot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVI0A4DTVgg
Who keeps putting cameras in front of this person?!
I think she's smart.
Michael K!!! *puts index finger over mouth* Just. Hush. *whipping out mah crotch ax*
|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|
"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Hey Cappy! Thanks! I know, right? The news is kinda slow. I wanna make this bitch happen cuz I'm feeling like we're gonna run outta people to make fun of...
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Submitted by Terri on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 8:10pm.
comes cartwheeling down the driveway, having not slept since Wednesday night.
---As one does!
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 8:02pm.
HELLO!
PLEASE UPLOAD THIS SHIT TO YOUTUBE.
Thanks,
Canadians.
_______
Emailed my YT wizard friend to try to get the vid clip on without all that fancy flash/jscript bullshit. If it makes you feel any better, I can't see it in shitty ass Jersey also. It is a cold, sad day on Earth Hell when we all get the shakes from not being able to see Stod twitch her delusion out. SOMEONE FIX THIS PRONTO PLEASE THANKYOU XO
_____________
"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
true story: before I was married, I hung out with my bestest gay friend all the time. His 'life partner' at the time was the biggest drug dealer in the gay community. Every weekend they had these beautiful crystal vases and jars filled with various drugs, including X.
One Thurs night, this post-op transgender girl came and bought a handful of X. Come Sunday afternoon, while we were grilling out at my friends house, tranny comes cartwheeling down the driveway, having not slept since Wednesday night.
She looked just like Courtney ... gold lame' and boobs popping out..tweeked out ofher mind rambling about being famous. And bitch could cartwheel like no ones business!
Between the dog slapping, 'gotta-go-pee' squirming, that gawd-awful tongue sucking noise, and the innumerable "Um"'s...I just can't with this ho.
HELLO!
PLEASE UPLOAD THIS SHIT TO YOUTUBE.
Thanks,
Canadians.
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 7:44pm.
I think the 2012 earthquake is going to be caused by Elizabeth Taylor and all the ladies MK lists at the top of the posts collectively spinning in their graves because of all the trashy hos (KK, Iguana, Lohan) trying to be them and FAILING.
____________
Agreed. It will be the epic-fail fuckery of the never-ending Monroe-mimic shit and energy of the old-school-pre-photoshop-pre-spanx-pre-chin/lip-implant Golden Talented Cunt-Dame Era that will cause all the Old School Epic Hollywood Glamour Cunts to conjure up the Kraken to force plate "tectonic road rage" of rages.
I.Can't.Fucking.Wait. That is all.
_____________
"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
She totally has the meth twitches, bad! Can't this stupid twat just go away already?
Honest ta fuck, this vidyuh gives me the itchies all over!
***goes to baffroom to do a full body skin brushing and shower***
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
I think the 2012 earthquake is going to be caused by Elizabeth Taylor and all the ladies MK lists at the top of the posts collectively spinning in their graves because of all the trashy hos (KK, Iguana, Lohan) trying to be them and FAILING.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by Tracy Lynn on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 6:48pm.
If she's gonna bring back old hollywood, I suggest silent films.
* * *
Ha! Well done!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
MK, you need to replace the Wet & Wild with The Color Workshop or ELF. W&W has actually revamped their line to include some really good products that rival high-end brands. No joke.
Anyhoo, could someone give Courtney a Valium? Something isn't clean in the water with that girl.
Some thoughts:
Big props to the producer and cameraman for not busting a gut laughing at this.
Apparently you can get a low-life doc to put breast implants into a 16-year-old, but not the XXXL size she wants, so she pads her fake boobs til she achieves the Dolly Parton effect she's looking for.
Do they keep her drugged all day, is that how it works?
I'd work up more of a lather over this, but I'm too blissed out by the idea of Christopher Meloni as a vampire...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
Can't see the Stod vid. I'm sure it is full of titball, pastylip fkery. Christ.
_____________
"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
Push-up bras while stuffing totally equates to class. Give me a fucking break.
I'm so sick of this busted-ass broke-down ho.
-----
#OccupyTheKardashians
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella