Michelle Trachtenberg Could've Been Bella Swan
Lip and eyelid abuser Kristen Stewart has Michelle Trachtenberg to thank for having everything a ho could ever want including millions of dollars shoved into her chain wallet and a loving boyfriend who she is contractually obligated to lick on until the last Twilight movies comes out on DVD. Michelle bragged to UsWeekly that the director of the first Twilight movie, Catherine Hardwicke, handed her the role of Bella Swan, but she was much too busy doing I don't even know what and so she dropped it into Kristen's Styrofoam donation cup. Oh, and Michelle also turned down a role in Thirteen. That Michelle Trachtenberg, bitch is so busy turning down roles that she obviously doesn't have time to ever accept a role.
Michelle made the right choice. Why do a piece of shit movie series that would've made her beyond rich when she can do a piece of shit movie where she gets to inhale the aromatic Maybelline syrup that seeps out of Zac Efron's pores (see: 17 Again)? Michelle is the real winner here. This is what Michelle had to say about her part in the making of Mouth Breather Stewart:
"There was definitely interest here and there because there's only so few pale girls in Hollywood," she explained."I've known [director] Catherine Hardwicke since the movie Thirteen," she said. "I was actually supposed to star in that, but I was on Buffy at the time." (Hardwicke, who went on to directed the very first Twilight film in 2009, directed the saga's star Nikki Reed in the 2003 drama and Evan Rachel Wood played the film's primary character. Reed cowrote the gritty screenplay.)
So why did Reed, Kristen Stewart and Ashley Greene end up as Breaking Dawn's leading ladies instead of Trachtenberg? "I guess schedules never worked out," she explained.
"I already have Buffy," she added. "I've already done the vampire thing."
I always love it when actors are like, "I could've had that bitch!" But you didn't, ho, and now you have to work with Blake Lively! Truthfully, Michelle would've never worked out. Bella is as bland as the paper she was created on, so Kristen Stewart is a perfect choice.
And here's Michelle awkwardly trying to get away from a dude who is my first choice for the role of Edward when Twilight gets remade in two years.
"And here's Michelle awkwardly trying to get away from a dude who is my first choice for the role of Edward when Twilight gets remade in two years."
MK, you are mistaken. that pristine beauty should obviously play Bella Swan in the remake. i mean, look at his face, its perfection! Tom cruise will be playing Edward, as irl he pretty much is Edward.
Michelle will still forever be Nona F. Mecklenberg from The Adventures of Pete & Pete to me. And her dad is Iggy Pop. Best. Show. Ever.
I'm so pissed they never finished releasing the final season on DVD
@bookworm
I think you might be my sister from another mother. Dawn was a fucking annoying brat. And yes, SPOIIKE forever!
☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 6:45pm.
BITCHES, WE ALL GOOD. When will you whores not figure it out? You got the sweets 'tween yo' legs, WORK IT!
OMFG I hated her character Dawn in Buffy! I LOVED that show but it went downhill after they brought that stupid little bitch into the show. She was SO FUCKING BAD! I never really got over it lol. When she was brought in and the mum died the show basically (almost) jumped the shark. But I never stopped loving Spike (yummy).
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 10:33am.
@loopygorilla
Good question! I am laughing at the image of Phoebe pushing Qweeen in front of a car, for taking her spot at the entrance to The Ivy!
-------------------------------------------
i believe when Phoebe and Qweeenn made peace, Phoebe invited Qweeeenn to her chicken farm, and thats the last time anyone has heard of Qweeen.
But her brother, (see above) has decided to engage the services of Harriet The Spy, because the fees for detective latoya jackson was too high, so he is asking Harriet the spy to help find Qweeeen....
Submitted by Jintess on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 1:10pm.
Except for the slamming doors thing, yes. Well, she also humps Edward's leg, but otherwise that fits her to a tee.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Whatever-she's too pretty for Bella. Teenage girls wouldn't love Bella if she didn't have the blah, derp face that makes them feel superior and actually fantasize that they could get a hot guy if they just lost a few lbs. This girl also has bitch vibes, whereas K Stewart just has stoner vibes. I prefer the latter.
------------------------------------------------
"How to give yourself a golden shower medal: lay down face up, find a way to piss up into the air and turn around really fast so the golden shower lands on your nalgas. -MK
Michelle Trachtenberg lacks the distinctive derp face that is required for the role of Bella Swan. Her face has the ability to show more than one emotion, and that easily rules her out. Bella is an obnoxious-as-fuck character in the book, and so Kristen Stewart is a natural for the role.
_______________________________________________
Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 3:16pm.
---------------
It's so true, right? I think I should write it in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. :)
@ islandgirl:
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I think I'm going to print that out on linen paper and frame that real purty like and keep it where I'll see it daily. :-)
***********************************************
"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by mike on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:06am.
Before the Twilight phenom, I really liked the name Bella. Now it's been tainted for at least the next century.
*************************************************
Isabella was a name I'd "saved" if I ever had a daughter. As in Isabella, Queen of Spain.
This was years before the Twilight shite happened. Never had kids so I ended up "giving" it to my brother for his 1st born. He can't have my 2nd choice though, Delilah, that's my newest Pomeranian's name, ha!
***********************************************
"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Wasn't she in Pete and Pete? And the whole few pale girls in Hollywood, no honey there's just overly Euro bronzed white girls in Hollywood. Have them all spend a summer in San Francisco and we'll talk. I thank the fog for keeping my skin youthful on a daily basis.
I really like Michelle and think she is gorgeous. It is so funny how sometimes smaller projects block actors from huge success. Sarah Michelle Gellar had to turn down both Clueless and Romeo + Juliette because she couldn't get out of her All My Children contract.
LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
angel that's what you call Method Acting, fool!
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
OMG, I know exactly what you mean, Michelle. I was supposed to marry this rich guy but this other bitch must have given him some blowjobs or something because he didn't marry me. And then I was supposed to marry this other rich guy but our schedules didn't work out. Yeah, it's a bitch, but whaddayagonnadooooo?
Ya know, I don't care for the Twilight sh!t, but I think Ktew and RP are actually good friends; like they don't mind bearding for each other and secretly enjoy laughing together at all the fat twihards who think they're actually doing each other.
Somehow, I can't picture RP getting along with this stuck up b!tch though.
_______________________________________________
"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the
Michelle Trachtenberg HAS to have some sort of connections...either a rich dad or someone in Hollywood who hooked her up. Bitch is so blaaaah and boring. Her face reminds me of any waspy Manhattan boarding school brat you'd see walking down the street.
She was TERRIBLE on Buffy. Glory should have just melted her. That whole 'the key' storyline blew. All Dawn did was bitch,whine,flounce and slam doors.
I haven't seen/read any of the Twilights. Is that what Bella does?
The black dude rules. Trachtenberg - just another Hollyweird waste of time and money.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 12:01pm.
I love you for knowing that.
Yes, and his dad was Bungo.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Her head has always looked like a scoop of mashed potatoes to me. She's so fucking colorless and blobby.
OR you could play Count the Blinks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfWeLPtZvsk&feature=related
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 10:46am.
to be fair to KS, I recently read the books (DAMN YOU NIT WITTY) and the character of Bella is pretty much just like that, a dead fish, always biting her damn lip and acting like a dope
***************************************
That's what my kid told me...and then I saw this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkYDyPicm50
And then I achally thought that's how she got the part.
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Whatever, Harriett the Spy. Unless you watched any of those dumb CW shows nobody knows who the hell you are.
********************************
*Beauty fades, but bitchiness gets better with age!* - MK
Submitted by mike on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:57am.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:33am.
If Bella is ruined then, why not Belladonna? (I never read any of that twitard shit so I dont know if that is the characters name).
porn star by that name
^^^^^^^^^
Poison by the name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
My old roommate from grad school said she wants to name her daughter Bella (she LOVES Twilight). However, she did say she's not naming it after the character, but the books have made her like the name. SMH.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
@ Mike - Dude, that's Bilbo's mom's name!
double post - sorry
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:33am.
If Bella is ruined then, why not Belladonna? (I never read any of that twitard shit so I dont know if that is the characters name).
porn star by that name
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:33am.
If Bella is ruined then, why not Belladonna? (I never read any of that twitard shit so I dont know if that is the characters name).
********************************************
Twilight - her full name is Isabella. "Bella" for short. Everyone calls her Bella.
*hates self for knowing this shit*
Too true islandgirl, it's kinda like as if life is trying to give you a clue or something. Cosmic.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Submitted by mike on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:06am.
Before the Twilight phenom, I really liked the name Bella. Now it's been tainted for at least the next century.
*************************************************
DITTO!!
I went to dinner with a bunch of the Kindergarten moms last night and they were going ON AND ON AND ON about Twilight. The books, the movies, etc. They were TWITARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They asked me if I loved the books/movies and I told them that I hadn't read any of the books, but I have seen the first 3 movies and "meh".
If eyes could stab, I swear.
*sits on outside of twitard mom circle*
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:29am.
Apparently it's a Mormon thing. They choose a lot of weird-ass names, and make up ones by combining them.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Wasn't she a blind item reveal or at least a very popular guess to a blind item about a young actress who would begin guest starring on a show all sunshines and rainbows but then start to backstab and shit talk the stars of the show trying to become a permanent member and had done it at least a few times on different shows before wearing out her welcome?
If Bella is ruined then, why not Belladonna? (I never read any of that twitard shit so I dont know if that is the characters name).
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:25am.
------------
Beyotch, I was gonna make it MINE!! Haha, just kidding! :)
I got some shit going on too and some things just pop up at the weirdest times, you know?
KeeksHotMom LMAO that Renesme or what ever is like the dumbest name ever, I can't believe someone chose that ugly name for their child! But I'm sure she's not the only one!
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
why is michelle acting like she doesn't want that black dude? come on girl, you better get on that....
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:10am.
Darknight, I actually read this today somewhere and it really struck a chord.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
*********
That's beautiful islandgirl. I think I will make that my siggie.
Cracks me up that she says the director only thought about her because she's pale, and not based upon any so called talent...lol.
**********************************************
I only have until Dec. 2...please help! :)
http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/melanieturner/polar-bear-plunge
Submitted by mike on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:06am.
Before the Twilight phenom, I really liked the name Bella. Now it's been tainted for at least the next century
----------------
Mike, I named my daughter Isabella Sofia (she's two) and almost everyone asks/asked if I named her after that Twilight chick!! It is irritating, I had never even seen the show or read the book. We now call my daughter KiKi (she calls herself that, rather.) or Sofia.
Side note: a classmate of mine at my university has named her kid Renesma or some shit like that. The twihards are procreating- I fully expect the 4th horseman any day now.
Yeah I wasn't really a fan of the books at all, I couldn't even finish the first one. I didn't think it was well written and it was hard to get into.
Our local news station posted the most popular baby names for 2011 and this was a real comment:
Bobbi Whitacre Davis: My baby girls name is Dysni-Layne Renesmee....None of her names r even on the list.... she has a very different name. also cause i took one name.from twilight saga breaking dawn movie!!
Are you fucking kidding me?
my niece is name Isabella
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
Submitted by dementa on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:07am.
Submitted by mike on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:06am.
Same here. I was planning to name my kid that... and now it's ruined. Thanks, you hack Smeyer.
*********
She also ruined Miss Swan's name.
Thirteen was an amazing movie. I loved it. So real. I suggest every parent of a daughter see it. It will scare them into the reality of what could happen to your little girl.
***********************************************
On my knees and burning
My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire,I'm dead inside!
Shit adds up at the bottom...
-Tool
Darknight, I actually read this today somewhere and it really struck a chord.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
♥
Submitted by mike on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:06am.
Same here. I was planning to name my kid that... and now it's ruined. Thanks, you hack Smeyer.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Before the Twilight phenom, I really liked the name Bella. Now it's been tainted for at least the next century.
If blind items ring true this bitch is too busy shooting heroin to make an audition.