Gross. Nasty. Sick. Barf.
Patients in Los Angeles-area hospitals suffering from severe constipation and extreme vomit phobias were transported to the premiere of New Year's Eve Apocalypse Eve at Grauman's Chinese Theatre last night for five reasons: Lea Michele, Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, Fuggie Fug and Josh Duhamel (or as their known in the medical community: suppository, douche, enema, diuretic and activated charcoal). Even the quadra power beauty queen beauty of Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Sofia Vergara and Barbara Eden wasn't powerful enough to soothe the heaves coming out of a bitch when they watched Ick (aka Lea) and Nast (aka Ashton) mug it up for the cameras. Ashton, I know it's been a while since you've seen tits that aren't made of Plaster of Paris, but please calm yourself. I swear, this premiere had more empty stomachs and clean pussies than a virgin bulimia convention. Sucio all around.
Katherine needs to give 2001 Hillary Clinton her hair back, Ashton needs to give Mary Katherine Gallagher her hair back and both Fuggie and Lea just need to stop everything. There aren't enough chairs for all the bitches here who really need to have a seat in the back.
I was going to make a post asking who was the least annoying slag at last night's New Year's Eve premiere, but that's like choosing between a beej from a garbage disposal or a prostate exam from a pitchfork. Which funnily enough, is probably the sensation a ho feels when sitting through that shit bag of a movie.
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i love new york city.
but this movie looks like absolute shit.
its like when they made the american version of love actually.
i was stuck on a 14 hour so i watch valentines day and it was the biggest pile of shit ever, but i think this movie will worst.
just goes to show how fking clueless holywood is, "ohh we have $$ wat shall we do? i know hire dick sucking whores and douches and pant pissing meth faces to star in a movie!!"
"movie about what?" "about nothing"
"great! ill call the studios, lets get $500million for it"
you can feed the whole africa on the budget this piece of shit movie was made on.
I have only good things to say about Lea Michele!! She is a wonderful animal advocate...love her!!
Ashton, ICYDK, men's suits can be tailored to fit you correctly. All the women show sophisticated glamour. Exception: Fergie's desperate attention grab.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 10:19am.
Yeah, I guess it does sort of sag in that picture, but I really don't think it looks that bad on her.
Actually I wonder if Eden does the Jeannie pose because people tell her to. Like the photogs yell "BLINK AT US, BARBARA! DO THE JEANNIE POSE!"
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Is the scary creature in the last thumb Hilary Swank? Jesus....
Michelle Pfeiffer can do no wrong in my book! She's aging gracefully and with dignity, unlike reeking-of-desperation boy-toy-collecting Madonna of the same age.
Zac, you need to give the Statue of Liberty her hair back. Barbara, always doing the Jeannie pose looks desperate. But you are awesome, so everyone on the red carpet should have done it.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 10:14am
It's not about small boobs or a low dress. That combination is fine. It doesn't fit her in the top area. You can see the gaping in the main pic.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Fergie has a sexay body! Her face is beat, but she is 36 going on 37 and if you picture a faces of meth poster, she doesn't look THAT bad.
I fucking hate Lea Michele with her bitch face attitude, BUT so what if she is wearing a low dress with small boobs? I mean, really..she looks fine in that dress.
Michelle Pfeiffer still looks amazing. *hands Ashton bottle of shampoo with picture directions* Please.
Lea Michelle does not have enough up top for that dress. Thumbnail 7 you can see her entire nipple tape. Plus she annoys me.
Michelle Pheiffer is STUNNING. That color is amazing on her.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Wow, I think I owe Michelle Pfeiffer an apology. I thought she was outright lying when she said she hasn't had any plastic surgery/Botox. Well, I dunno about the surgery (fillers, etc) but it doesn't look like she has had Botox. And she looks gorgeous! Also I LOVE Barbara Eden, she always comes across as a nice person.
Lady Efron looks fagtastic. I went to a fag event on Friday and fags LOOOVE having their hair look like the top of a McDonalds McFlurry!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I will be missing this pukefest just as I've missed "Valentine's Day" and will probably miss the follow-up, "Thanksgiving."
Zac Efron looks like he's tittering nervously about having to be next to an actual woman like Michelle Pfeiffer instead of a desperate Disney bimbo.
I think Asston is actually getting grosser with his divorce. He looks like he hasn't washed off the grease in at least a few weeks.
Heigl looks generic and boring. And her hairstyle is, as MK said, very Clinton era.
Barbara Eden is still awesome.
I actually kind of like Abigail Breslin's dress. It's sort of tutuey.
Hilary Swank and SJP in one movie? Quick, buy those fillies some carrots and hay!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Okay, let me just list my thoughts.
1. Kutcher looks better without the facial hair.
2. Barbara Eden looks wonderful.
3. Michelle Pfiffer looks great.
4. The young starlets are boring.
Another movie I won't be wasting my money on.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
I will forever think that Hillary Swank was the same actress from Hocus Pocus. No not the other horse face SJP
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 9:08am.
Barbara Eden is the shit... they should have all got on their fucking knees and thanked GOD they were allowed in her presence...
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AMEN.
Awh ba-buttons, I think she still looks pretty good.
How old is she anyway?
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I like the word poop
LOL! Look at Efron in the picture with Michele. That's the first time he's ever touched a real woman (as opposed to girl) and he has NO CLUE what to do with her!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Good Lord, I don't know how that whole place didn't just disappear into a black hole of fug.
Kutcher, go die already. Really.
And Barbara Eden: girl, we love you, but cut out the Jeannie shit already.
I absolutely DESPISE Lea Michele. I hate everything about her. That said, she and douchebag Ashton seem like they'd make a great couple!
Did Michelle Pfeiffer find the fountain of youth? That woman looks amazing.
Sofia Vergara...wow. I'm not gay, but if she found her way into my bed I definitely wouldn't kick her out. You'd have to pry my face off those breastisis.
Submitted by ethang on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 9:55am.
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OMG!!! I love that movie and I never get tired of it....it has to be by far the sweetest movie and the ginger head boy is too cute for words!!!
Submitted by ba-buttons on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 9:55am.
As if all those older Batman movies weren't terrible enough, Pfeiffer was AWFUL as Catwoman and the outfit, though iconic, looked like shit on her.
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Sorry sweety but what have you been smoking? Pfeiffer as catwoman was HOT, HOT and HOT! I can't think of anyone else that could have played that role as seductively.
How much ego could they throw into one movie? All of the people I can't stand in hollyweird in one movie...FUN!
*Except for Sofia Vergawhateva. She is hilarious in Modern Family. Jayyyyyyyyyyy
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"Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding." - Eric Cartman
❥
Fuggy fug is still fug, Michelle is still heartbreakingly gorgeous and love Barbara Eden is awesome, everyone else can go jump off a bridge ESP Asshole Kutchiebreath
Well as far as this movie goes, I'll stick to Love Actually. No need to waste 12 bucks on this fuckery.
Are there pics here that I'm not seeing? All the pics of Pfeiffer she looks like Nicole Kidman's fuglier, bonier, less talented, more translucent older sister.
Ol' Michelle benefitted from 10 years of the media jamming her down our THROATS, telling us shesobeautifulshesobeautifulshesobeautiful. Sorry, my mama done raised no fools - bitch is skerry.
As if all those older Batman movies weren't terrible enough, Pfeiffer was AWFUL as Catwoman and the outfit, though iconic, looked like shit on her.
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
At least Fergie didn't pee herself.
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I like the word poop
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 9:49am.
Ask Khloe Kardashian. She does it like a pro.
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Snap! lol!
I have to say even Khloe looks more feminine than Hillary does.
I have seen Hillary's body in a bikini and she actually had a really nice body. Here she looks...just plain brutal.
Heigl totally hot boxed it on the way.....
Oy vey -this Lea Michelle chick should give it up and settle down with the nearest doctor or lawyer...
Michelle Pfeiffer does look great -damn -mostly because she makes movies and then disappears back to her life not like most of the ho's around nowadays...
Barbara Edens eyes are gonna disappear around the back of her head if she has anymore work on her face but I cant hate on Jeanie...
Ashton the douch-enuf said.
Sofia-amazing -she seems like someone who can fucking laugh at herself.
Fergie-what is she like 2 feet high?
Hilary the horse-what is she between dictators birthday parties-she a pain in the ass...
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 9:44am.
I'm trying to figure out how Hillary walks with her cock tucked between her legs.
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Ask Khloe Kardashian. She does it like a pro.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Katherine Heigl's head shot looks like a yearbook pic and/or Carol Brady. Cannot decide! Lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
no offense folks, but Barbara Eden is shades of Joan Van Arc in these pics. , ok...not the same, just around the nose and the eyes. I forgive her, because plastic surgery is a lot different now than back in the 90s or so.
I feel so bad when I see fergie because she is trying so hard to be hawt. She needs to just stop, it's not happening, accept it.
Leah and Katherine are neck and neck on the "why the fuck are they famous?" scale. Seriously.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
I'm trying to figure out how Hillary walks with her cock tucked between her legs.
Michelle Pfeiffer is SO UNBELIVEBLY beautiful it's crazy. The woman definitely won the genetic lottery
Submitted by letinstar on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 9:39am.
i agree that michelle looks amazing...looking better than these years younger twits standing in the room..
sofia is one of my girl crushes...
what the hell is that in the last thumbnail?
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I think that's Hilary Swank who looks fully pre-op gender transformation at this point.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 9:38am.
Zac is one GORGEOUS fudge-packin' sausage licker!
Are there nude photos?
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Since he's over the age of 3, he shouldn't interest you, pedophile.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
i agree that michelle looks amazing...looking better than these years younger twits standing in the room..
sofia is one of my girl crushes...
what the hell is that in the last thumbnail?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
by the way is Heigl high as a muthafucka or what, why are her teeth whiter than her eye whites?
Zac is one GORGEOUS fudge-packin' sausage licker!
Are there nude photos?
Lea really likes to ho it up for the red carpet. Her crooked jaw is so off putting when she talks and smile. Cannot. STAND.
So, is Howood going to make an ensemble romcom for every fucking holiday? What's next, Easter and fucking flag day?
and in all honesty, asschelle would make a great couple, or the force of their insufferable douchebaggery would create a hole in the space/time continuum.
I can see Lea getting Keely Shaye Smith fat after 3 kids but I'm sure it would be fine...Ashy makes more than enough money to support a wife, 3 kids and a lavish, luxurious lifestyle.
I don't think that Lea chick really has the body to pull off that dress... and I want to fuck Heigl in the face with a jackhammer.
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Despite her angry eyebrows, I actually enjoy Fergie. She seems very down-to-earth, she can actually sing, she seems like a fun and positive person, and she has overcome some pretty major obstacles. I can only imagine that a meth addiction cannot be easy to deal with or recover from, and I like that she's been open about it. Yes, her husband would look so much better on MY bed, but honestly, I got nuthin' but love for Fergie Ferg.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Barbara, Michelle. Sofia = fabulousness.
Thumbs 4 & 6...gahhhhhhh!!!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
asston is rather up in lea michele's mouf...wondering if this will be the girl that we all know Ashton would be married to with 3 kids in about 5 years?
From the neck down, Fuggie looks awesome. I love that dress- hopefully she doesn't pee in it.
This movie looks completely stupid. Valentine's Day was dumb enough. They are all just poor imitations of Love, Actually anyway.
That's a relief Jack,
I was afeerd you would have to hand in your slut card. But, see what you mean about the hands.
*passes Michelle some Michael Jackson specials*
Have at it Jack!
*humps Sophia's leg*
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011