You Know The Recession Is A Real Thing When Even The Queen Gets A Pay Freeze
Prince Hot Ginge can no longer tiptoe into his grammy's bed chambers in the middle of the night to sneak a few quid (I'm speakin' British!) out of the pocketbook she clutches onto when she sleeps, because there's not going to be anything in there anymore! The sport of extreme couponing is calling The Queen's name, because her pay for being THE QUEEN!!! has been frozen until 2015 and she'll only be given $50 million of taxpayers' money to pay for travel expenses and palace upkeep. NPR says that Prince Charles will have to reach into his own pocket to pay for Princess (serious typo and it's not moving) William and Duchess Catherine's household staff. GOD (in the form of a sale at Tesco) SAVE THE QUEEN!
NPR reports that shit is getting so dire that the Queen is considering renting out rooms at St. James Palace during the Olympics next year. HA. St. James Palace is turning into a flophouse. Can't you just imagine coming down the stairs late at night to drink tap water from the kitchen faucet and you see your landlady, Queen Elizabeth, sipping canned wine from Bargain Booze while knitting mittens out of her Corgis' hair to sell on Etsy. Book me a room, now.
And before you go on and on about how Queen Elizabeth is nothing but a welfare leach, stop yourself. If England wants Queen Elizabeth to show up to stupid weddings and national events, they have to pay to play. Queen Elizabeth does not change out of her housecoat for her health. I mean, my abuelita refused to come out of her bedroom for my birthday party unless I promised her the corner piece of my sheet cake. #getmoneyqueen!
Or England can just fire Queen Elizabeth completely and replace her as the "Face of England" with Jodie Marsh, because that trick will work for bootleg HGH injections and a box of gently used condoms.
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Queenie owns almost everything in the world that the rich King dudes don't own. She should be paying to keep her position of privilege and entitlement. Personally, I am done with royalty. "I am an anarchist ... "
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:23pm.
Years of inbreeding and living off taxpayers would make our Appalachian brethren our royalty.
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AHAHAHAHA! Also, I am stealing the phrase "heavens to megatron".
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I'm bored with babies and engagements and happiness and joy and shit. - ImpertinentVixen
"Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 6:06am.
And seriously?
if the UK did not have London, Wimbledon, and the pound, no one would go there anyway!
Yeah, I said it!"
I agree most of England is pretty grim but you still have spectacular scenery in the North of England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland. Personally I've never seen the attraction with London.
Balls! Thats another English expression for you,
She isn't hard up, she has private collections of art (da vincis etc) that she could sell if she wanted to and a private share portfolio that is huge and allowed by law to remain secret. That is apart from all the stuff she owns as 'figurehead' and would need permission to sell including 1/6th of the land on Earth.
Most Brits still suck up to these leeches but I say, 'Off with their heads'...especially Prince Andrew who likes to hang around with pedos like Jeffrey Epstien.
I still want to go to England. I will take along some cash and sneak it to QEII when no one is looking. I can't hand it to Prince Philip because he will spend it on strippers or Werther's or something.
Somehing to think about is that the British people must want to keep their symbolic figurehead, or she would have been politely shown to the kerb by now.
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My heart BLEEEEEEEEEEDS!!!
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by saveophelia on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 5:23pm.
Interesting watch on why it isn't so bad to keep paying Liz II.
http://blog.cgpgrey.com/the-true-cost-of-the-royal-family/
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Ok, that was interesting. Thanks for posting that.
Doesn't she have her own money? Let her pay her own way. If she really wants to be queen, she'll use her own money. If not, she can retire and live the rest of her life quietly. Royalty in this day and age seems....stupid but then so does the blind worship of celebrities and politicians (I know peeps who think Putin can do no wrong and this scares me).
That's right! Put that old trick to work! She's gonna live another 30 years anyway, so they might as well squeeze a quid outta her!
And seriously?
if the UK did not have London, Wimbledon, and the pound, no one would go there anyway!
Yeah, I said it!
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I'm with Morrissey here. Abolish the monarchy and save Great Britain taxpayers hundreds of millions per year.
Tourists will still come, even more so.
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I'm not so sure about the black with the powder blue suit. It's off.
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Time for that hat sale, Lizzy! Folding tables and cardboard signs, fish and kabobs truck up on the curb. Close your eyes and think of England!
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
yuck. some of you need to take a history class.
Andrew is my age (52-ish) and he looks 70. It doesn't help that his uniform is always 3 sizes too big.
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Save it for your Linkedin profile, bitch!
I am beyond hoffified
THIS is what OWS is doing wrong. They need Queen Elizabeth as their spokesperson. Do you have any idea how this is going to affect her yearly hat budget?
No seriously though, I love the Queen. As an American, I find her to be really awesome, for some reason I can't explain. Maybe it's the whole hat thing.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by saveophelia on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 5:23pm.
LOL!
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Camilla really needs to the first over the hurdles at Aintree next year - the prize money would come in handy.
Hilarious post.
Interesting watch on why it isn't so bad to keep paying Liz II.
http://blog.cgpgrey.com/the-true-cost-of-the-royal-family/
When you really stop to think about it, we can bitch all we want about how much $$$ leaders make like her Maj but at the end of the day, I'd rather be part of the common folk than have what I'm sure is one hell of a demanding job!
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"The older you get, the wiser you get...unless you're a banana!" - Rose Nylund
Maybe she should forget about the purse and suspend his wandering balls from the table instead. ;)
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Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 5:03pm.
Thank youz Momus :) very informative.
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I wonder how many bottles of Guinness she has in her purse ... or Prozac. Anything to help her to endure the asininity of her family.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Thank youz Momus :) very informative.
just sell Canada already...
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 4:50pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 4:41pm.
Submitted by BaconSlut on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 4:38pm.
Momusr
I fully expected there to be a hilarious punchline after I read about the "s-shaped meat hook."
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Now you know why Prince Phillips is such a dickhead.
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Or, she carries it because Philandering Phil is a dickhead.
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I don't think she carries a damn thing in her purse. And how does she NOT own a passport? WTF?
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Submitted by Dog on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 4:41pm.
Submitted by BaconSlut on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 4:38pm.
Momusr
I fully expected there to be a hilarious punchline after I read about the "s-shaped meat hook."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Now you know why Prince Phillips is such a dickhead.
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Or, she carries it because Philandering Phil is a dickhead.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by BaconSlut on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 4:38pm.
Momusr
I fully expected there to be a hilarious punchline after I read about the "s-shaped meat hook."
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I guess we have to buy the book. I would love to the look on Obama's face the first time she pulled out that meat hook and attached it to the table.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by BaconSlut on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 4:38pm.
Momusr
I fully expected there to be a hilarious punchline after I read about the "s-shaped meat hook."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Now you know why Prince Phillips is such a dickhead.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Momusr
I fully expected there to be a hilarious punchline after I read about the "s-shaped meat hook."
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Carol Burnett KILLED as the Queen.
He's hollow!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Sandbitch, here's the content's of Lilibet's purse.
“What’s In The Queen's Handbag: And Other Royal Secrets” reveals that though the 81-year-old monarch doesn’t carry cash, keys or a passport - since she doesn’t own one - her bag is far from empty. Inside are a collection of good luck charms given to her by her children, including miniature dogs, horses and saddles, plus family snaps. The most treasured of which is a photo of Prince Andrew on his safe return from the Falklands in 1982.
Also inside the tote is a make-up case, given to her by Prince Philip as a wedding gift 60 years ago. It also houses an s-shaped metal meat hook which she places on the edge of the dinner table, from which to suspends her handbag, keeping it off the floor.
http://www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2007/10/10/queen-handbag/
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Can't she be a Frugal Queen and move to a cottage? I mean, why not? She'd be sure to leave a mark in the History Books. It's way better than fucking horses. Especially at her age.
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
that queen is so fucking put together. look at that perfectly styled hair. the hat perfectly matching her dress. the shoes must match the pocketbook, of course. this lady could teach those housewife tv hos a thing or two, or three. this is how it is done. i love queen elizabeth ii so much i have a portrait of her in my house and i am american. i love queen elizabeth i even more, now there was a totally hot slut, but the second version is a hot bitch second.
What one really needs to know is, what does one have in one's handbag?
If England didn't have the Queen, people wouldn't know how to set the table properly.
I am glad I don't live in the UK, because this shit would seriously piss me off. Illogical to the max.
Though I guess money wasted blowing up Afghanis and Iraqis is much much worse.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 3:18pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 3:13pm.
Philandering Phil was quite dashing when he was a young man.
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I guess he was kinda handsome..I did not know that! lol!
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He's okay if you like insipid blonds. BTW, Prince William does resemble Phil.
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=prince+philip+duke+of+edinburgh&view...
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 3:13pm.
Philandering Phil was quite dashing when he was a young man.
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I guess he was kinda handsome..I did not know that! lol!
Gotta fly...take care guys.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 3:06pm.
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AND for his part he always has to play 2nd fiddle to his wife for his whole life, it'd be like being a 2nd class citizen in your own marriage, that would HAVE to suck.
Mind you a hell of a lot of guys are in that position anyways..BAWAHAAA!
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 3:06pm.
She couldn't even marry the person she loved if they didn't fit the monarchy wants. She can't kick back at all, just the opposite. Keeping up the Monarchy and its representation to the world is 24 /7 job
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Who the hell could love that codger she married? Ugh he's dreadful.
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Philandering Phil was quite dashing when he was a young man.
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=prince+philip+duke+of+edinburgh&view...
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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You couldn't pay me enough to do what she does. Well, you could pay me to do her job, BUT only if I could quit after a year.
I'd do it for $25 mil.
She couldn't even marry the person she loved if they didn't fit the monarchy wants. She can't kick back at all, just the opposite. Keeping up the Monarchy and its representation to the world is 24 /7 job
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Who the hell could love that codger she married? Ugh he's dreadful.
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Well said Whamo. I'm not so good at verbalizing today.
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:21pm.
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Sorry, but I don't buy it. The "great deal" she's done was nothing more than her obligation, considering how well she's paid and how most of the time she does FUCK ALL
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With all respect Classy, That's kinda the thing...
Her obligation was to give her entire life and any sort of personal freedom she's ever had to a monarchy its protocols and all that it expects of you. There is rarely a day that goes by where she doesn't have some sort of function she's expected to preside over. From the time she was a young girl her life has been planned out for her. She couldn't even marry the person she loved if they didn't fit the monarchy wants. She can't kick back at all, just the opposite. Keeping up the Monarchy and its representation to the world is 24 /7 job
Does anyone watch "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret" starring David Cross? He's this American pathological liar who migrates to England for a job.
There is one episode where he is lying once again, and to impress a woman, points and says that he lives there, in that building, and it's the House of Parliament.
The Queen is fucking dead, boys:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wz5IFl7uCis&ob=av2e
(I truly hate these annoying ads that now preface music videos.)
She reminds me of my Nana when she smiles. For all she's been through she always looks poised and classy.
I like her a lot. I didn't say I like her fuckface children.. but I love her.. .and Prince Hot Ginge.
I think he'd make a better king than Wills.
*ducks*
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by force noir on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:23pm.
Abso-fuckin-lutely!
They would indeed lose loads of mullah.
Still, she could take up a part-time job assembling axles at the plant. Get home late, crash on the sofa with her stockings half-mast, bottom shelf gin on ice, and catch some Catherine Tate.
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I AIN'T BOVVAHED!
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Does she EVER smile? I mean seriously, if I had such an easy life I'd grin from ear to ear 24/7
She does smile. The issue is she looks unthinkably cute when she does. Takes away from the magesty..
Look! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2053589/Queen-meets-nurses-unifo...
Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"
Submitted by Ms.Fit on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:19pm.
LMAO @ Sweetas & Jacko dental benefits *dies* clutch them pearls, Queenie!!
How is it that her Queeenhood owns billions in land and property, but she lives off tax payer's money?
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From what I've read the Queen doesn't actually own that much land- it's in her name but the control of it belongs to the Parliament, and there's no way in hell that those greedy fuckers will allow her to sell them or do anything.
Also she's been recycling outfits for years now, and having new ones sewn out of some old fabrics.
And the Royals only get something like 10p from every taxpayers pound that the government collects. Myself, as little as I care about them, do not mind that. I would rather them get that money than some benefits cheat or someone who hasn't worked the days work in their life.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
Thats what I thought as well TequilaTax-
That they were going to live as "normally" as possible.
I could have sworn that William said that after he got married, him and Kate would live like normal folk. (Do their own laundry, cook their own food, etc) Now they have a staff? I can understand having body guards but what the hell other kinds of staff could they possibly have? It's only the two of them.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K