Joel McHale's Dreams Are Coming True....
.......Because The Hollywood Reporter says that NBC might have to order a specially-made booster seat to go on Matt Lauer's chair. Their sources say that Ryan Gaycrest is considering leaving his American Idol job, his position as the fuckery master on E! and the familiar warmth of Simon Cowell's furry tit pies to move to NYC to take over Matt's spot on Today.
Several NBC executives and Today's executive producer met with Gaycrest earlier this week to talk about filling Matt's shoes (with the help of a few pairs of rolled socks) among other things. Matt hasn't officially announced that he's quitting that bitch, but NBC wants his replacement ready when he does. Matt's contract is up in 2012 as is Gaycrest's contract with E!.
The Today Show is basically a high(ish) brow E! News with weather reports and Ann Curry's manufactured sympathy, so they might as well go all the way with this. Replace Ann with Giuliana Rancic, replace Natalie Morales with the Glam Fairy, replace Willard Scott with Snooki and replace the weather segments with reports on the Kardashians' (aka Gaycrest's Frankenwhore monsters) fart patterns. As long as they don't touch Kathie Lee Gifford and don't force her to sober up, I'm in!
I think he would be good at this job.
Come at me.
Its amazing what a tanning salon, veneers, pull, tuck, skin removal, eyes, cheek implants, bucket load of cum can do for someone like ryan seacrest.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 1:29pm.
Evil,
NPH annoys me a bit too. He shoves his fabulous life down everyone's throat and bleats on about
parenting as if everyday is a fantasy and the kid never cries and everything is so damn perfect. Meanwhile he probably has a household staff of 10.
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He's probably also miserable. Anyone who's insanely happy doesn't need to validate themselves by broadcasting it to the entire world.
o/t, not sure why anyone would want to give Seacrest's annoying ass MORE air time but it won't make a difference to me...not like my lazy ass is up early enough to watch those morning talk shows.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Gaycrest hasn't changed a bit.I loathe all those screechy morning shows.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake: "....Neil Patrick Harris' golddigger boyfriend.
Really? That dude annoys the fuck out of me, and to be honest (and I know I will be taken to task for this) so does NPH."
Oh thank you. I, as IF said, am sick of his fabulousness being shoved down my throat. Yeah, he's cool. Whatever. He's not the be-all, end-all of the universe. *eyeroll*
And it has nothing to do with gayness. It's the smugness.
I think Ryan Seacrest would be great on the Today Show. He's good at everything he does. Except reaching objects on high shelves.
This would also be a wonderful, yet discreet, way to distance himself from the whole Kardashian debacle cuz that shiz, like Kim's azz, is 'bout to explode.
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
That picture of Ryan Seacrest is the best thing EVER....he should've never let THIS look die so much better than the one he has going now.
Lmfao @ Sweetas & Deb!! Hahahaha.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Athina on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 2:44pm.
Is Ryan Seacrest responsible for AIDS?
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uhhh huh that's a weird question but the answer is yes.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Is Ryan Seacrest responsible for producing all the Kardashian shows? If so, I hate him with a burning passion that can only be rivaled by my hatred of terrorism, Twitter and possums.
That middle school photo of Seacrest explains so much. I knew underneath that streaked-haired, tanned, capped-teeth, whippet-thin metrosexual was a crying little fat kid with braces. Vindicated!
Migraineuse explained it well. One of the schools I went to DID have upper classmen students as hall monitors. I understand some schools are so bad now they need actual COPS! *SMH*
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
One thing I'll say about Gaycrest. When he went to his high school reunion, he was able to give the biggest "F.U." to everyone who ever made fun of or bullied him!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Wow, I never knew Matt Lauer was so HOT!! Where the hell have I been.
I never knew that was a picture of Gaycrest. It esplains so much.
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 1:25pm.
None of the schools I ever went to had a hall monitor, but you did need a pass to leave class to go to the bathroom or whatever.
Whether kids are allowed to leave school for lunch depends on whether the campus is "open" or "closed". My junior high was a closed campus, we couldn't leave during lunch and if we got caught doing it we were punished. Sucked because the school was basically a concrete prison block.
My high school was open campus -- it was OK to leave during lunch.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 1:25pm.
Dude, the high school I went to had security guards!
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 1:26pm.
lolol CTH♥!! Fine, I'll be smoking weed behind the gym if anyone wants me. *slaps KICK ME sign on your back as you walk off*
Oh yeah????? gimme some pot and I won't tell...
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
I wonder what ever happened to Brian Dunkleman? He really has to be kicking himself since he left Idol and has had to watch Ryan keep getting these gigs left and right. All undeserved, of course, but Ryan is still getting them.
Evil,
NPH annoys me a bit too. He shoves his fabulous life down everyone's throat and bleats on about
parenting as if everyday is a fantasy and the kid never cries and everything is so damn perfect. Meanwhile he probably has a household staff of 10.
I'm not saying he should be whiny but he has a way of presenting himself and his life that grates on me and his tweets are supposed to be sweet and witty but they grate on me too.
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Dark-sided!
omg SDR...AGAIN??? Damn. Those poor people.
What the hell is in the water in Blacksburg VA?
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
lolol CTH♥!! Fine, I'll be smoking weed behind the gym if anyone wants me. *slaps KICK ME sign on your back as you walk off*
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 1:20pm.
OHHHH, Bullying, I'm telling!!!!!
"Runs to find hall monitor"
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Lol, completely off topic question for our Yankee D-Listers...
Do you really have hall monitors in school down in the States? I half thought this was just something we saw on TV in Canada and wasn't actually true?
Also, are high school students not allowed to leave campus during the school day? I remember seeing a doc on a U.S. high school and some kids were getting detention for going to McDonalds at lunch?
Canadian schools certainly do not have the spirit of American schools but I'm glad we didn't have hall monitors. I sense they would have been targets more than law enforcement.
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
I don't know why all the major networks don't just stop competing and jointly hire Kelly Ripa to host all of the morning shows.
Submitted by kieranx on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 1:15pm.
They're replacing Gaycrest on E! with Neil Patrick Harris' golddigger boyfriend.
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Really? That dude annoys the fuck out of me, and to be honest (and I know I will be taken to task for this) so does NPH.
SDR, that's some effed up mess right there.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Feral on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:58pm.
Sounds reasonable. Hard news sprinkled with all Kardashian, all the time. Daily Lohan update, Joliepits doing a weekly segment, another week, another country, dispensing parenting advice, kids love constant travel. Fashion icon Kelly Osbourne has daily fashion segment, Willis girls model and give makeup advice. Michael Jacksons kids, Will Smith's kids daily song and dance routines.
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*ba-buttons recoils in horror as he sees the truth in Feral's statement*
BACK!!! GET BACK TO THE FLAMES OF HELL WHENCE YOU SPRANG, FOUL HANDMAIDEN OF SATAN!!!
*ba-buttons makes crude holy cross w/ fingers - waves it vainly at Feral's truthiness*
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
OHHHH, Bullying, I'm telling!!!!!
"Runs to find hall monitor"
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
They're replacing Gaycrest on E! with Neil Patrick Harris' golddigger boyfriend. One insufferable queen for another.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
OT - Poor VA Tech. :(
lolol Deb!! *splits his lunch money with you*
Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:48pm.
*shoves little Ryan in a locker and slams the door*
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Lol, Sweetas! I hope you took his lunch money first!
*REPORTS SELF FOR ENCOURAGING BULLYING*
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
sorry for the double post. going back under my pile of christmas oreos with red (??!!!) creme filng.
hate 'em both. both are equally unctuous. recall seeing gaycreast 8 years ago out and about in hollyweird with an early version of his tiny blond beards. and have seen lauer out and about several times over the years in nyc with his skeletal wife (wait, how many times has he served her divorce papers -37?). As a tommygirl marvelously put it, i find him glib. i don't watch that shit anyway. so go ahead add rancid too. I hate her praying mantis self even more. don't wish cancer on anyone (scratch that - most people) but i still can't stand her. bitch can' t gain 10 lbs to get knocked up. pul-leaze.
I am a dork. I watch the Today show (until 9 am). If Seacrest shows up, I am done with them. The midget will get my full attention at this point.
Sounds reasonable. Hard news sprinkled with all Kardashian, all the time. Daily Lohan update, Joliepits doing a weekly segment, another week, another country, dispensing parenting advice, kids love constant travel. Fashion icon Kelly Osbourne has daily fashion segment, Willis girls model and give makeup advice. Michael Jacksons kids, Will Smith's kids daily song and dance routines.
Why would Ryan Gaycrest WANT that job?
And I used to work for Matt Lauer's sister back in 1988 (nice gal, actually, one of the few women I have ever been able to stand working for). Back then he was on the local news and she was very proud of him. No juicy gossip or anything, just throwing it out there.
Matt = sparrow face
.
.
I am amazed that Ryan Seacrest has been embraced so readily...first he hosts Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve and now this???
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:49pm.
Haha. I knew at the very least YOU would appreciate.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Oh MissJane... your avie... 8-)
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
*shoves little Ryan in a locker and slams the door*
Oh wow...I had no idea that was Secreast (someone here has that as an avatar).
Since I don't watch any of this mess (except for the Soup cause I LOOOOOOOOOOVE Joel) I could care less. (ooh- a rhyme!)
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
I hope this doesn't mean Fugliana Rancid will be part of this fuckery. I despise that bitch.
I stiiiiiiiiiiiiill lmao at that stupid picture of gaycrest.....
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
I'm sorry but I hafta LOL over that picnic table print shirt coupled with that ginormous HONKER.
Sorry, all the 'print's in the world cannot distract from your maggo maggo maggo nose.
My word...the vulgarity. I would never have my child take his school photograph without a tie! What would the neighbors think? My Sheridan would be appalled.
"I possess a pearl-white slim-line push-button digital telephone with automatic last-number redial."
I am so glad I don't get American TV.
And I'm just posting in this thread to support the other Dlisters with Rudolph avies.
Carry on!
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:35pm.
Wow - Matt Lauer grew up in a really predictable way.
^^^^^^^^^^^
He used to host Live at Five in New York before he leaped to the bigga time. Those were the days. When he was a kid he sold ties at Richard's.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org