Rhinestones Are A Glööckler's Best Friend
You can tell your prostate to stop poppin'. I can hear it from here. It can calm itself, because there's enough of Harald Glööckler (known in heaven as THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE ON PLANET EARTH) to go around forever. No, Harald is really going to last forever, because I read in some scientific journal that he was born when scientists unfroze a cryogenically frozen Liberace using Adam Lambert's naturally sweetened ass syrup and the clarified blood of Nosferatu.
Harald launched his newest musical masterpiece "Pompoeoes" (that's German for "Poochie Queefs") in Berlin on Thursday and I don't know what his nightingale yodeling sounds like, but just thinking about it gives me the sensation of twin peen-shaped clouds spooning my eardrums.
To celebrate one of the most important events in music history, Harald slipped on his finest coat made from a rare creature called polyester, put on every single piece of jewelry from Ring Pops' exclusive black label collection and asked four toddlers to doodle on his face with glitter pens until he looked like he was on the RIGHT end of a Care Bear bukkake. The result is the look I was going for when I played with my mom's makeup shoebox as a child. Harald should really teach a class on how to play dress up with your mom's shit the right way.
Glamour seriously took a holiday on Harald's face.
• 
More like Glamour seriously took a huge post holiday meal dump on his face....
*runs into thread*
Clowns skeer me!
*runs out crying*
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
Submitted by qjersey on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 4:56pm.
Love Child of Liberace and Perez Hilton
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Like Liberace's corpse would stoop that low.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Gays seem to have more loonies that the rest of the population.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Bill Kaulitz in a couple of years. Even if I fucking love Bill Kaulitz. Excuse me while I go swoon over my millions of Tokio Hotel pictures.
He is the child that David and Liza never had.
there's SOMEthing about Berlin...
.
.
He seems like a super sweet person but why does he want to beclown himself?
BTW, it isn't his music, but selected songs he likes (Mozart, Grace Jones...).
HSOT... YEAR!
I agree with fleur-de-lis, he does seem nice and well-intentioned from the interviews I've read and seen. Also, I mentioned this before but it deserves being said again- Sascha Baron Cohen based "Brüno" on him!
Submitted by saltydog88 on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 5:02pm.
This is exactly what I imagined when reading about the Capitol people in The Hunger Games
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Yes! I so agree. The only thing missing is his skin being dyed funky colors like green or red. Although, that could be kind of cool. I would dye my skin blue
This is exactly what I imagined when reading about the Capitol people in The Hunger Games
Love Child of Liberace and Perez Hilton
Looks like Dave Navarro's hitting up the bad stuff again.
I loved the dog and owl act MK but why for the love of god is this angel not Hot Slut???
In the old days, this rabble would have just been shot for wasting resources.
Sometimes, I miss the good old days.
Michael K, you are the greatest writer on planet earth. This whole post was poetry. I can't wait for some savvy youtube queen to release a Glööckler makeup tutorial. Bring this look to the masses.
Wow. My eyes hurt.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
My son, who has Tourettes, has been running around for a couple of months saying, "I'm gonna draw all over your face -- with permanent markers!" (I swear, he's a forward-looking cosmetic genius.)
Now I totally know what the end result would be...danke, Harald.
Oh that glitter is all sorts of wrong, but damn if I don't love that coat.
He also plans to marry his 63 year old boy toy (article in German):
http://www.bild.de/regional/berlin/harald-gloeoeckler/laeuten-bald-die-h...
Bwahahahaha, MK @ Care Bear bukkake. Also fucking LOL @ UBF's rimming a Christmas Elf.
Submitted by fleur_de_lis on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 1:25pm.
I don't know this guy, but this story makes me like him.
Sandbitch, that's ASSWART to you!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 2:11pm.
Submitted by fleur_de_lis on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 1:25pm.
Awwwww, geez, I had a snarky comment all lined up but I can't post it after reading THAT!
*pouts*
---Allow me. There is something distinctly Kardashianesque about this bloke.
How snarky is that! Not to mention infecting the thread with a K wart :)
He is german, I see him all the time on the german tv shopping channel ( we dont have a separate austrian one)
He sells clothing and also had a mak up range, its awful Im talking house of dereon awful, but as ott and freakky he is I dont mind him.
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBABbqNzXPs
He's very sweet but I'm not entirely sure this isn't Christoper Guest.
Submitted by fleur_de_lis on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 1:25pm.
Awwwww, geez, I had a snarky comment all lined up but I can't post it after reading THAT!
*pouts*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by fleur_de_lis
...his father constantly abused his mother, eventually killing her by pushing her down the stairs. Harald may actually have witnessed this as a child, if I remember correctly.
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that explains a lot about the "child in the middle of trauma" look on his face. his eyes remind me of Lilo, except still in possession of a soul.
*feels very Californian all of a sudden*
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Americas - Occupied since 1492.
Fleur, thank you for posting that. I was about to say something nasty about him. Actually, it's really nice to hear good things about people sometimes.
This guy's face is visually abusive.
Oh, i just read he is about to get married to his Partner of 25 years. Well, congrats then!
Here is a pic of the boyfriend:
http://www.bild.de/regional/berlin/harald-gloeoeckler/laeuten-bald-die-h...
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by fleur_de_lis on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 1:25pm.
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Thank you for telling us his story. I remember MK's post about him giving out backpacks to kids, which was cool. There's a special place in my heart for german men because all the ones I've met here in Denmark have been funny, nice, polite, and know how to flirt! unlike most danish men. Just wish I'd gotten the phone number of the hot ginger german I talked with on the train a few christmas's ago. *sigh*
Submitted by fleur_de_lis on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 1:27pm.
Daniel Kübelböck is a self-made millionaire these days! Solar power or something. lol
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Yay! I'm so glad to hear he is doing well. I actually thought he was a girl pretty much up until the end of the show, when my ex husband finally pointed it out to me. No wonder other Germans were giving me funny looks when I would try to make chit-chat about the show. I felt so stupid. Anyway, he always seemed like a good kid.
UB, i have NO idea who that is. We left Germany almost 10 years ago, and I don`t think that show was even on back then. The only reason I know about THIS fuckery is D-listed.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 12:44pm.
I've heard a rumor Harald posts on Dlisted as Mrs. Patrick Campbell.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHAHA
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
@unemployed_bum
Daniel Kübelböck is a self-made millionaire these days! Solar power or something. lol
You know, as insane as he might seem, he is actually a very nice man. He had a troubled childhood, his father constantly abused his mother, eventually killing her by pushing her down the stairs. Harald may actually have witnessed this as a child, if I remember correctly.
He is very charitable and has a lot of respect for women and always wants to make us feel like queens. The clothes might be tacky, but there's a good heart and intentions behind all the face paint.
@ UBF-
I feel weird for asking you this, but since you know about all the German stuff, do you remember Daniel Kübelbock(sp?) the kid that won Deutschland sucht den Superstar? I think he was the first winner. Is he still around?
Submitted by Sweetas on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 1:10pm.
Are his hair and beard drawn on with a Sharpie? WTF has that kind of time and energy? I can't.
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Ahahahahaha! The Bob's big boy hair is some kind of cemented miracle and the Sharpie comment about his beard is spot on. That has GOT to be some Ron Popeil spray-on beard using a really gay beard stencil.
Um, nice shade of nail polish on your right hand! *phew*
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What kind of fuckery is this?
POOCHIE QUEEFS OOLOLOL
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Ewwwwww! Kill it before it spreads!!
WHERE'S THE RAID!!!!
Are his hair and beard drawn on with a Sharpie? WTF has that kind of time and energy? I can't.
*throws wax lip candy in the trash* Dude, Liberace would tell you you're way overdoing it.
"Rimmed a Christmas Elf."
LMAO!!!!!!
Those glittery baboon lips are killing me.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 1:04pm.
He looks like he just rimmed a Christmas elf or something. And some of that glitter looks like it`s from the Lohan Rouge collection.
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haaaaaaa! GROSS.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
He looks like he just rimmed a Christmas elf or something. And some of that glitter looks like it`s from the Lohan Rouge collection.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 12:59pm.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 12:44pm.
I've heard a rumor Harald posts on Dlisted as Mrs. Patrick Campbell.
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HAHAHAHAHA!
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We heard a rumor that Gloockler has a quite a juicy sizemeat. Are there nude photos?
(El Bastardo can do this better, btw)
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
What. The. Fuck.
Was he at a kids party with facepainting? Sorry, fellow German, you deserve the clowning you are getting.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 12:44pm.
I've heard a rumor Harald posts on Dlisted as Mrs. Patrick Campbell.
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HAHAHAHAHA!