Lindsay Lohan Continues To Make Smart Decisions
Lindsay Lohan is still in Hawaii continuing her well-deserved vacation from her exhausting life (that line is best snorted with a straw made of sarcasm) and while she's there she continued to prove that all the sea jasper dust she's inhaled has completely eaten away her common sense cell. TMZ says that a completely sober LiLo went to a house party in Laie last night and left her $5,000 Chanel purse in the car. Well, it's nice to see that the Lohans are still coming up with ways to show us that they are the opposite of smart.
When LiLo got back into the car after leaving the party, her purse was magically missing along with everything inside of it including her passport, some probation paperwork and a bunch of cash. (Insert antoinedodsonyouraresodumb.gif here) Just like the look of youth, Blohan's passport keeps running away from her, because this is the second time it's suddenly gone missing. The police are currently investigating this shit. TMZ also brings up the fact that LiLo has a probation hearing in L.A. on Wednesday and she could be throw in jail for contempt if she doesn't show.
This whole mess of a story brings up a million questions. Why would THIS BITCH leave her passport and a stack of her Playboy money in an unattended car? Why wouldn't THIS BITCH leave her passport at the place she's staying and make Ali Lohan stand guard since that trick looks like a malnourished gargoyle? If THIS BITCH wants to extend her vacation why is she recycling a bullshit-covered excuse she's already used?
I know, I know, the answer to all three of those questions is: BECAUSE SHE'S A LOHAN! I swear, it's like LiLo got ass fucked by a black cat on top of a bed made of broken glass under a ladder. Unless......LiLo really is a mastermind scam artist and before she left for Hawaii, she took out travelers insurance on her friend "Chanel."
In other LiLo news, Playboy has released a few quotes from their interview with her, and yes, delusion is still her best friend:
On how she's following nature: "Sex and sexuality are a part of nature, and I go along with nature. I think Marilyn Monroe once said that. I certainly agree with her."On how flashing her flesh-colored nipple plates gives her confidence: "Knowing yourself and your body is so important because it gives you confidence, and in life, women need confidence. It’s a very male-dominated world to begin with, so knowing yourself and being comfortable with your body is an important thing for me as a woman."
On her past fuck-ups: "Ultimately we are each responsible for ourselves and for our actions. Looking back, I probably would have listened to and taken more advice from the people whom I admire and would have followed through with it more. My stubbornness at 18 and 19 years old got in the way. During the past five years, I've learned that time flies faster than you think, and because you only live once you have to learn from your mistakes, live your dreams and be accountable."
My response to all of LiLo's answers is best expressed through this picture taken in Heaven's library:
UPDATE: Aaaaaand LiLo's purse is back. One of LiLo's friends asked a shady-looking local if he knew where her purse was and he denied everything, but a few seconds later he showed up with the purse. Everything was in it except for $10,000 cash. Yes, ten thousand dollars cash. Something in the milk ain't clean, but the milk is always dirty when it comes to this ho.
(MM picture via ONTD, thanks CC)
Okay - I live on Oahu. Laie is the part of the island filled with Mormons and, like the entire island of Oahu, "suspicious looking locals." Everyone here knows (and tourists are warned repeatedly) you NEVER EVER LEAVE ANYTHING IN YOUR CAR. The locals here will steal anything that isn't nailed down - SERIOUSLY. (my friend got her shoes stolen at a real estate open house)
Oh, and she wouldn't be buying coke here. Oahu is pretty much the METH CAPITAL of the universe. That skank ass bitch is sucking on an ice pipe in this tropical paradise.
Please, let me get this straight:
She left a $5,000 purse in her car WITH $10,000 in it AND her Passport AND her license AND probation paperwork?
It just boggles the mind! I can't wait to see how Mama Carvel Lohan plays this one!
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England's Finest Rose
Hey y'all, she was not using this excuse to get out of court!
She was using this excuse to explain how she managed to BLOW $10,000 of PLAYBOY MONEY in one weekend.
I use the term "blow" advisedly.
That Lindsay, and her cockamamie shenanigans! She's like Laverne & Shirley all rolled into one with Edith Massey and a crackhead hooker.
If this hasn't been asked yet, here goes: Why was she carrying her passport to Hawai'i?
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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I think she found her purse cuz she realized she din't need her passport to get home. Sure, someone told her to pack it for ID but...
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Submitted by stake_spike on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 12:44pm.
I'm confused, was she really trying that passport excuse to get out of court? Someone should tell this meth for brains that you don't need a fucking passport to travel to Hawaii! Dumbass.
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I think it is her only form of ID since her license was revoked.
I'm confused, was she really trying that passport excuse to get out of court? Someone should tell this meth for brains that you don't need a fucking passport to travel to Hawaii! Dumbass.
Did Playboy pay her in cash or was it the cash earned leaking the photos?
You can listen to Lindsay whine about her purse now and talk about all the suspicious people.
www.tmz.com/2011/12/12/lindsay-lohan-stolen-purse-jail/
What I don't understand is why someone didn't say... "Hey, you're a known thief and now KARMA took your shit from you, and I'm in Hawaii trying to have a good time. Why don't you fuck off back to plasticland and suck some botox?"
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
can't hohan just die already? i'm so offended with her marilyn wannabe crap. she's a useles POS.
MissAnnThrope ,
I agree with you that she craves structure, but she also seems to be addicted to the attention from the paparazzi. She calls and tells them where she's going to be and then gets a cut of the money from the photos.
I can't see her ever giving that up to live amongst the normal people.
Also, I don't think she'd be able to survive without her shit mother, White Oprah.
Who the hell is taking all these pics of this cunt rag?
UGH! GO AWAY BLOHAN!
Sweetas, they all talk about working out, and wear workout clothes, yet they have no muscle tone anywhere. Exception- PH legs. They always look toned, even with the flat but saggy ass.
*looks around, but T Perkis has not switched screen names yet*
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And when I think of you I stop myself from cryin’
I just can’t waste my time I must get by
Got to stop belivin' in all your lies
Cause there’s too much to do before I die
-Joe Cocker
Submitted by Darknight on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 10:46am.
*wonders if Jack and Whamo would still hit it*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
As of last Friday, Jack would.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Haha right PSL? These Hollywood hos need to look up squats and lunges. Fishy ITA, a full coverage bottom or a coverup would have done wonders. Her ass still would have been flat, but at least you couldn't see the overhang.
Linsday's ass walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 10:44am.
who knew Paris Hilton's ass goiter was contagious?
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BWAHAHAHAHAH
*wonders if Jack and Whamo would still hit it*
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
who knew Paris Hilton's ass goiter was contagious?
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And when I think of you I stop myself from cryin’
I just can’t waste my time I must get by
Got to stop belivin' in all your lies
Cause there’s too much to do before I die
-Joe Cocker
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 10:39am.
fishy lolol she needs a couple of sticks to prop those up. I wonder if she finds change in there.
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I was wondering why she doesn't wear bikini bottoms that help lift it up instead of something that pushes it down? She's so delusional about her 'sexy' body. No, honey, you can't pull off everything.
fishy lolol she needs a couple of sticks to prop those up. I wonder if she finds change in there.
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 9:59am.
Hahaha and EW! Darknight! She has an ass flap. I'll bet she could hold a kilo under each cheek.
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ewwwww lololol That's exactly the way to describe that saggy thing hanging down.
somewhere on the island a dealer just reported $10,000 worth of cocaine missing...
coinkidink??
The only reason I can think she'd have her passport is because she doesn't have her license.
Otherwise she's just a stupid bitch.
Who carries that much cash around with them?
I noticed the thighs yesterday when MK posted the pics of her in shorts. Playboy lengthened her legs and thinned out the thighs. And DEFINITELY added curve and LIFT to that sad, sagging ass.
*takes bets on minutes til T Perkis comes and yells at me*
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And when I think of you I stop myself from cryin’
I just can’t waste my time I must get by
Got to stop belivin' in all your lies
Cause there’s too much to do before I die
-Joe Cocker
Tojo, yes I did scroll through the pictures and she is so gross. Holy hell the girl is 25 and looks rode-hard-put-away-wet-then-rode-hard-again bad. Her ass looks like it is made of playdoh, no muscle whatsover and her titties are all jelly like. *heaves*
LMAO, sweetas. That's probably where she keeps her coke.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Hahaha and EW! Darknight! She has an ass flap. I'll bet she could hold a kilo under each cheek.
Who the fuck travels with $10K cash? Lying stupid flakey ass ho.
Submitted by Darknight on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 9:23am.
Lindsay's ass is as flat as a pancake! No lie, seriously:
http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/lindsay_lohan_hawaii_bikini_beach_body_p...
Playboy had to do some fucking major magic on those pictures.
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There are the real thighs! Yeah, they did some major re-rouching on the lower half of her body.
Submitted by Darknight on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 9:23am.
Lindsay's ass is as flat as a pancake! No lie, seriously:
http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/lindsay_lohan_hawaii_bikini_beach_body_p...
Playboy had to do some fucking major magic on those pictures.
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Did you scroll through all of the pics? Can't she keep her damn nips covered up? No wonder they had to re-shoot those Playboy pics...
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...the end
eeeuuuuuwwww, her ass is GROSS.
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And when I think of you I stop myself from cryin’
I just can’t waste my time I must get by
Got to stop belivin' in all your lies
Cause there’s too much to do before I die
-Joe Cocker
I think she actually craves someone to provide structure and stability in her life. The press reports she is doing a great job at the morgue--- it wouldn't surprise me if she gravitated to normal people who probably show her concern (probably like the staff at the county morgue). She probably likes the structured work as well, and it's been documented they don't put up with any shit down there. She doesn't do well with time off, no real job or purpose and the freaks who tell her they love her and care about her (her mom, dad, and all her druggie friends). There has been no more talk about going to rehab since she is considered unemployable by hollywood so no one cares if she is clean or not. I'll bet if she went and lived with some normal people, out of the spotlight and away from her "parents" she would thrive. Of course that will never happen because she's too mentally ill to see that.
Lindsay's ass is as flat as a pancake! No lie, seriously:
http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/lindsay_lohan_hawaii_bikini_beach_body_p...
Playboy had to do some fucking major magic on those pictures.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Assuming the 10k exists, wanna bet she got it from a weekend's whorefest with a wealthy mogul or businessman?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Did Blohan just happen to acquire $10,000 worth of coke while she was on the island?
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 8:00pm.
In March 2011, Stephen King said he's in the 28% bracket (there are many similar links; I just picked one).
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I see. It looks like a simple case of Dog misreading what Stephen King said. It happens. *shrug* I used to believe Kid Rock's dad was Hank Williams Jr. for the longest time and would fight about it. What separates a bitch from a puppy (to use canine speak), however, is how well one can gracefully admit a mistake.
Stephen King: "And you know what, as a rich person I pay 28% tax. What I want to ask you is why am I not paying fifty?"
Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2011/03/09/stephen-king-doesnt-think-his-taxes-ar...
are there some shady local guys who happen to be black, cuz i'm sure that's who stole lilo's money...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
::facepalm::
you fail at life blohan.
$10,000 missing from lilo's purse...did anyone think to look up this stupid twat's twat for the "missing" cash?
she is beyond ridiculous...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Shady.
But I'm sure she never bothered to get a State ID after they yanked her Drivers.
$10k in a $5k purse left in a car...then the purse is returned sans $10k. Straight-up scam. That milk's so unclean it's curdled into cottage cheese.
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In case you're wondering, the second and third answers were "felch cream"and "taint butter." - MK 10/15/2011
Grifters will grift. People all over the world never will realize that until they become involved with a Lohan.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 7:49pm.
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 7:17pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 6:07pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 6:02pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 5:44pm.
Don't know about this skag but I know Stephen King is in the 50% tax bracket. Of course, he's worth north of $300 million.
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Huh? There's no such thing as a 50% tax bracket. The highest tax bracket is 35%.
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Wrong. He specifically talks about it in the foreword to one of his books.
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King probably hasn't prepared his own tax returns since 1972, and back then there was a 50% federal income tax rate. The Tax Reform Act of 1986 reduced the maximum federal income tax rate to 28%.
The top federal income tax rate for 2011 is 35%. I believe that the highest rate in the last 10 years was 38%.
King might be simplistically stating things, adding the top 35% to the self-employment tax rate of 15.3%. But the biggest chunk of SE tax stops after $107k of income.
Maine's top rate for 2011 is 8.5%. So even if King meant his *marginal* tax rate for combined federal and state tax, it would still be under 45%.
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I don't know the context of King's quote, if he was being sarcastic or flip. There are no such things as Tommyknockers either
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^^^^^^^^^^^
That's a shit ton to quote......
No, there isn't a 50% tax bracket, but there are tax laws that can collectively tax one's income at 50%, if you (unfortunately) fall within the guidelines. Trust. I got tired of hearing Hubby CUSS an insane amount every April, so we hired a CPA prepare our tax returns. Those guidelines (a correct term escapes me, I'm running on fumes...) are things such as commission income, invesment income, inheritance income, etc.
As others pointed out, there is NO reason why Lohan or any other US citizen would need a passport to fly from CA to Hawaii. It makes zero sense for her to bring it along.
Also, HTF can she AFFORD an assistant or even a trip for that matter? Wasn't there talk that the $1 million she got for PLAYBOY wouldn't even clear her debts? She isn't working so therefore, how can she avoid this lifestyle? I bet she didn't invest or save most the money she made.
Maybe this is God's way of saying self-entitled spoiled trashy brats have no business walking around with 5000 dollar purses.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
*tackles ESE to the ground* lol whaaa ahahahahahah shhhhh
on topic yeah...cock (typo and it stays) head lindsay is whacko
Coma Caca!
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Why can't Lindsay Lohan and Playboy understand what this woman told the police?
Florida Woman Has Sex in Intersection, Refuses to Put Clothes On: "Everyone Has Already Seen Me Naked"
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2011/12/florida_woman_has_sex_in_...
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Bitch is doing all this on purpose. She knows it is the only way to keep her wrinkled ass in the press. No one can really be this fucking dumb?
Submitted by Gigaboob on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 5:49pm.
She looks like she was exhumed.
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Freaking THIS!!!!!
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
You need a passport as an American citizen to go to Hawaii?? since when?
I thought it is a domestic flight.
Anyway whatevs...
Hohan is like one of the Aesop's Fables, the Ho who cried wolf.
We've heard this tale one toooo many times. $5k bag, $10k cash, I bet she is trying to scam her travel insurance policy.
well, i, for one, feel just awful for poor Lindsay.
it has to be just so disheartening to go all the way to Hawaii to attend a party, just to mingle amongst the drinkers, and the tweakers, surely just to show them the folly of their ways, and to have such an injustice happen to her.... tragic, i tell ya!
*ponders, while stroking chin whiskers*... hhhmmm... exactly where was Chirio at the time of the theft?
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
@ bum, she would need a passport or license for positive ID to get past security. Guessing she doesn't have a license? Ha!
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK