Lindsay Lohan Made It Into Court Today....
In a shocking turn of events, Lindsay Lohan sashayed into a court room on time this morning and wasn't taken away in handcuffs to get her latest mug shot of glamour taken. The bailiff was so confused after Judge Stephanie didn't order him to take her into custody. That's not how the game usually plays out and his routine is completely screwed up now. You can find him muttering around in a circle in a back room somewhere.
During LiLo's short probation progress hearing today, Judge Stephanie gave her a gold star for finishing up her 12 days of community service early and gave her an extra pat on the taint for going to 5 therapy sessions instead of the 4 that are required. The morgue only had good things to say about LiLo and said that she fits right in (TOO EASY). LiLo's next hearing is on January 17th, and she'll have to finish another 12 days of community service before then. If she finishes all her shit early, she can travel out of state and go wherever she wants.
It's sort of weird and slightly unnatural hearing only positive things from a Lindsay Lohan progress hearing. It's sort of like when a dude butt bangs you with two fingers and then he tries to add a third. At first you're like, "This is nice..." and then your'e like, "Errr... Not sure it's supposed to go down like this..."
While watching the hearing, I kept waiting for her to set things right again by spontaneously punching her lawyer for no reason or something. I mean, this is Lindsay Lohan. Bitch likes to do bad things, so it must've even been weird for her to only get praise. Latarian Milton seriously doesn't know what to think anymore.
Anyway, hopefully she keeps this up and gets this probation crap out of the way so she can go back to doing more important things like stealing shit and almost running over babies in strollers.
Here's LiLo in court today and I think she was so nervous that her tits dropped to her stomach. And I can't throw too much shade about her overall look, because only once did she look like she was about to push Hansel & Gretel into an oven.
Submitted by angela34 on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 8:31am.
at least you were nice enough to piggyback on her misfortune to spam a site with your silly bullshit, so... yeah... ya got that goin' for ya.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I really feel sorry for Lindsay, she is one of those people who had their life ruined by the celebrity status. Doing drugs is never a good idea, but when you are a known actor and people figure out your addiction, everything gets out of hand. At least her future employers won't have to run any criminal background checks on her, they will already know everything there is to know about her by reading the media.
why does her lawyer look like Lovita Alize Jenkins?
That hair is so fried I can't understand why it's not falling out in clumps.
She is despicable. You'd think with all that Playboy loot she could do a halfway decent dye-job. Christ, her hair looks like bleached-out straw that a cow pissed on. just ugghh!!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Berra →←
All she needs are candy-corn teeth and a witch's cackle wafting out her ass.
.
.
She looks like shit unphotoshopped.
.
How can she look decades older than the Playboy shoot?
.
Jesus, Blohan has the chest of a Golden Girl. Not Blanche's, though, hers are perkier. She gets praise for doing what she was supposed to do?
Yesss. Sociopath, ftw! There is no relief from our consternation until she is locked up and the general public is safe. She almost ran down a woman and baby in a stroller. What if she had killed them? Would anyone cry about compassion for her then, especially when she would probably fault the victims: "They jumped at my car, I think the baby wanted my autograph!"
Oh my god, is that Marilyn Monroe's last bowel movement?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Yeah, everyone's happy and smiling while Lilo has some cash. Shawn must have been paid, but I bet she had to send a garnishment order to Playboy.
Next month, the money will be gone, and Blohan will be back to her pissy attitude to go with her unkempt appearance.
Submitted by jussayin on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 5:35pm.
do your tits sag low
do they wobble to and fro
if you wave them at the judge
will they let your sentence go...
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ROFL!!!
Since she's so good at moving traffic cones, they should put her on one of America's major highways and have her pick them when the day's construction work is completed. May I suggest the perpetual clusterfuck of I-66 in Virginia (those of you in the DC area know what I'm talking about...it's literally a mass of orange cones).
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by perky: "She doesn't look like someone who just came off a refreshing Hawaiian vacation. She looks like me the morning after I pounded about 15 vodka-sodas and lost $600 playing craps in Vegas."
LOL. Yup! Except you probably looked better than this. And seriously, it's not like she knows how to really relax. In order to relax, you have to have WORKED.
Although she probably spends a good deal of time and energy finding drugs and the money to pay for them. That's probably more tiring than any Dlister's job...
Hello Im semi-new. I honestly wish I truly had no more fucks to give like this bitch. Then maybe I too would save a bundle on supportive bras.
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"What bakery is this?"
"Zed's Bread baby, Zed's Bread."
This worn out brokedown ho is 54, right? She looks as though she has lived the hard-ridden life of your average truck stop waitress. Her face is like 50 miles of bad road. She is a total hot fugged-up mess. How many men will be tanking it (typo, stays) to her shitastic Playboy spread??
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
do your tits sag low
do they wobble to and fro
if you wave them at the judge
will they let your sentence go...
She simply will not wear a bra to court, will she?
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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
Someone needs to give that girl a hairbrush.
Whatever!
Fuck this strawberry cracktart!
You know when I will clap for this trick?
When she makes a hit movie, so we can stop referring to her as 'The Mean Girls star'.
That was damn near ten years ago, bitch!
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Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:57pm.
yeah, he did but that's cos he was sick at the time.
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Yes, he had a spider bite, they said. The thing is, I think he did it for effect. The only other explanation is that of the army of people he had escorting him to court every day, not one of them could somehow fetch him a pair of pants.
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 3:38pm.
Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:47pm.
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:35pm.
I bet she smells like a dirty sock that's been stuffed inside an old man's colostomy bag for a month.
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what the fuck is a colostomy bag? lemme google that shit. ahh, learning languages is so exciting!
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A colostomy bag is where you "poop" if you can't do it naturally (following cancer or something like that). What they do is they take your intestine, make a hole in the side of your stomach, pull that intestine up to the hole and just out a bit- so that some of the intestine hangs out of the hole slightly, and then they attach this bag to it. You have to have it changed daily- or more often depending on when you've pooped.
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my goodness!! will i ever forget what a colostomy bag is???? NOOOOO!!! thank you so much ponchiks!!! *hug*
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
She looks like Alfred E. Neuman in drag. I have nothing nice to say about her.
*Slow claps for Lindsay*
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
One day when Lilo is finally free of scrubbing the intestines of the dead a violent ray of light heralding from the cosmos will suddenly shroud her and that is when baby Jesus and all the 12 reindeers will nestle with glee as Lilo opens her mouth as Gabriel the Angel pours mountains of champagne down her weeping face…
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/12/the-courts-heap-praise-on-our-he...
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 3:38pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:19pm.
She's dressed appropriately but she really needs to lock them swingin low hangin titties down.
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Why in the HAIL does she think she can get away without wearing a bra!??!
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THISvvv
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:04pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:03pm.
Somone send this skank a bra.
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I object. I move to strike from the record, your honor!!
♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden
Wow. She looks bloated, like her kidneys are fucking up, big time.
People may say she doesn't deserve compassion, but when you look at her, whether she has make-up on and is airbrushed to within an inch of her life, or whether she is on some seedy looking balcony in Hawaii, she looks miserable, vacant, and twice her biological age. That's a fucking tragedy, whoever is responsible, whether it happens to a famous person or a random nobody. It's a waste.
She looks like a dead woman walking.
EDIT: oh, I just noticed her 'catwalk' romp to the courtroom. I think she really just pretends she's in a movie, playing some glamorous criminal. like a drag queen in the ultimate get up - a natural female body.
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The Americas - Occupied since 1492.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:19pm.
She's dressed appropriately but she really needs to lock them swingin low hangin titties down.
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Why in the HAIL does she think she can get away without wearing a bra!??!
Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:47pm.
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:35pm.
I bet she smells like a dirty sock that's been stuffed inside an old man's colostomy bag for a month.
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what the fuck is a colostomy bag? lemme google that shit. ahh, learning languages is so exciting!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A colostomy bag is where you "poop" if you can't do it naturally (following cancer or something like that). What they do is they take your intestine, make a hole in the side of your stomach, pull that intestine up to the hole and just out a bit- so that some of the intestine hangs out of the hole slightly, and then they attach this bag to it. You have to have it changed daily- or more often depending on when you've pooped.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
By the way, what's the over-under on how long it'll take LL to ruin her new teefs?
She doesn't look like someone who just came off a refreshing Hawaiian vacation. She looks like me the morning after I pounded about 15 vodka-sodas and lost $600 playing craps in Vegas.
Can the judge please make her go back to her natural hair color.
OMG is she wearing a cardigan with no shirt underneath???
*smh* fail fail FAIL
Who knows whats gonna happen in a month from now with the court decision and Lindsey's unpredictable ways but,I'm gonna sit for a second a be an armchair psychologist. looking at these photos really just makes me think this chick is a sociopath. Her whole demeanor is really off putting, the smiling the walking like its a fucking catwalk just screams look at me whores, I got away with more shit, cheers to me! ugh go away!
Well, at least she's dressed to look her "age."
Geez, even the Golden Girls looked younger than she does.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:41pm
LiLo v. Traffic Cone. Now that would be a ludus gladitorius worth seeing. Except that Traffic Cone would win every time.
TEAM TRAFFIC CONE!
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by Brenda DuBois on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:41pm.
I'm a dudette. And, you should consider how avarice, lust, laziness, envy, anger, gluttony, pride influence Ms. Lohan's decisions. These are not exactly compassion-inducing traits.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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" It's sort of like when a dude butt bangs you with two fingers and then he tries to add a third. At first you're like, "This is nice..." and then your'e like, "Errr... Not sure it's supposed to go down like this...""
OMG that is the funniest shit, I've ever read!!! MK I love you!
Amy Winehouse was moderately talented but she was a selfish person to continue drinking when it causes you to have seizures is retarted. She did it to herself no tears for anyone that does that. I have more compassion for those she left behind. I don't know what is to compare clearly Lindsey handles her intoxicants enough to stay alive for now. Lindsey is just washed up and fighting someone over her is really stupid especially since you don't give a crap. Lindsey looks like hell and if any of us walked into court looking that crazy we'd get the book thrown at us for disrespecting the court or some madness. I hope everyone who was about to buy a playboy takes one good look at these photos. The thing with playboy is those other girls that are usually in it are sluts but they are polished sluts.
I have one thing to say...You Bettah Work.
Who clothes did she steal? They don't fit worth a shit. And... HER FACE! She's got going to jail, (DAMN!) but at least she'll look like SHIT for the rest of her days.
Submitted by oh dave on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:49pm.
You guys don't get it. Getting to court was a major achievement and she looks the part. The hair says, "Hey! I made it just barely LOL!!!" Rememver when Michael Jackson went to court in pajamas? It's the same thing. It's like, "This doesn't really fit into my plans but give me cookies because I am here!"
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yeah, he did but that's cos he was sick at the time.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Man Brenda Dubois almost had me there for a minute. Brenda sounds very sincere in her fight to get herself to a good place and I commend that. Don't compare yourself to Lilo, girl. Lindsay is pathological. At some point you either get tired of fucking up all the time and actually learn something from your therapy,trips to the slammer and advise you know she's gotten from others she's met on her journey. She's still relatively young. She could still tire of her self and whatever happened to make her such a mess. Life is hard. Very bad shit does happen and then you build a bridge and get over it. But either way there are no short cuts. OK I'm shutting up now.
Submitted by Brenda DuBois on Wed, 12/14/2011 - That's why I mentioned the king of kidding, Jeff fucking Foxworthy. Hello...
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Ummm....what?
hahahaa ano!! *flashes bewbs cause dude was coyote ugly and I didn't want to waste time buttoning my shirt*
sucky frickin Baconpiece...hahaha you are killing me today
You guys don't get it. Getting to court was a major achievement and she looks the part. The hair says, "Hey! I made it just barely LOL!!!" Rememver when Michael Jackson went to court in pajamas? It's the same thing. It's like, "This doesn't really fit into my plans but give me cookies because I am here!"
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Submitted by ritzyroxie on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:41pm.
Submitted by Brenda DuBois on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:30pm.
I was kidding, Brenda. I just don't think Dlisted is the right place to look for pity and kindness for Lilo and her ilk.
I understand that you were kidding. That's why I mentioned the king of kidding, Jeff fucking Foxworthy. Hello...
Kelly Taylor: Well we all have our crosses to bear.
Brenda Walsh: Or our legs to uncross.
-----episode 3.14 "Wild Horses," Beverly Hills 90210
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:35pm.
I bet she smells like a dirty sock that's been stuffed inside an old man's colostomy bag for a month.
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what the fuck is a colostomy bag? lemme google that shit. ahh, learning languages is so exciting!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Why is everyone picking on Brenda - she was just posing a question. Ok, it was a bit odd because it's about such a self-entitled pig, but still.
LEAVE BRENDA ALONE!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by BaconSlut on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:41pm.
Sucky,
You best not be talking about my ass. *crosses arms across magnificent chichis while wielding a staple gun to attach Sucky's nutz to the floor if need be*
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Hello BaconSlut. I promise I wasn't talk about you I waS talkiNg abOut someone Who's name Possibly can't be mentIoned at this timE but mayhaps a CErtain other time, perhaps.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by Brenda DuBois on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 2:30pm.
I was kidding, Brenda. I just don't think Dlisted is the right place to look for pity and kindness for Lilo and her ilk.
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia