It's A Very Courtney Stodden Christmas! And Yes, We're All Going To Jail Now
Warning: You might feel the sudden urge to strangle your Christmas tree, shit in your fireplace stockings and cancel Christmas this year after getting into these highly illegal pictures at Egotastic of the underage lizard goddess Courtney Stodden slithering all over her 51-year-old nightmare of a husband who dressed up as Santa Claus. I know, that picture was supposed to be your Christmas card pose and this bitch stole it from you.
Nothing says "Tis the season!" like a gross Santa with cotton dick brows sniffing on the illegal down low goods of a 17-year-old who looks like an iguana in Alexis Arquette drag. This kind of good Christian girl holiday behavior from Courtney is seriously making Jesus consider converting to Buddhism. It's okay, Jesus, just try to focus on the silver slivers of elegance on Courtney's rear claws and everything will be okay (no, it won't).
I swear, somebody really has to start a "Courtney & Doug staged photo shoot or porn stills?" Tumblr, because I can't even tell the difference anymore. And if your skin hasn't completely crawled off of your body to throw itself into the nearest fire, then strap it down, because it will after you click play on this video:
Why isn't a SWAT Team and a group of priests with vats of holy water swarming all over them?! They are disgusting, ridiculous, fucked up, perverted, shameless, dark-sided...and I can't get enough of them.
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I feel so sorry for this girl. It is obvious that her dad has taught her with his own hands (and dick) how to be a good wife to a pedophile husband. I could vomit right now! What father takes pictures of his daughter spreading her legs? Where is CPS when you need them? Please MK stop giving them a platform! I can't ...
I'm not religious, but I think something is tragically dark-sided about all this.
Why the fuck can't anything be done about this. I think I just threw up in my mouth.
@PuddyTat - I had no idea this guy was even an actor! Guess you can tell what shows and films I haven't watched. Now I'm even more confused about these two, he's been in some major things and seems to be a decent actor. I can't believe I'm even saying that. Is this some kind of pervy performance piece? Don't we wish.
Oh look Santa is asking a ho if she's been naaaughtyyy *wink wink nudge nudge*. Hilarious. Not.
I guess it wasn't much of stretch for him playing creepshow Percy in Green Mile.
They are without a doubt vomitrocious.
Why is he sniffing her crotch like he's sniffing a a wine bottle cork?
Ahhhh smells like teen lizard!
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Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Sat, 12/17/2011 - 4:33pm.
Bitchin' after the fact about a job that you wanted to do for the fat ass check makes you kind of dick. You go to work, do your bit, collect your m
No, Courtney, bad publicity is NOT better than no publicity, because you have turned your life into a disgusting freak show of a joke. You're never going to get reputable work after all of this nonsense. The best you can hope for at this point is being in a notable porno, doubtful though, it's all been done and redone. Get away from that creeper (and parents) and live a nondescript life somewhere other than HW.
Christ on a cracker. these two again.
the job this trick's mother did with this one ... makes White Oprah look like mother of the year. nice job, mom. *golf clap* i'm sure you're proud.
Solstice is only 2 days away, thank God. maybe the longer days, a minute at a time, but i'll take it ... will start making people less fuckin stabby around here. can only duck in for 5 minutes at a time, but am sorry, every time I do
:( what the hell is going on with some people ?
Merry Chrismahanukwanzukah every one !
Some Christians do the Tebow and some Christians.... slalom .... ??
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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*Bart & Lisa Simpson shudder* EWWWHHHHHHHHHH
Seriously? And it was 30 degrees and she's wearing some bikini her mommy sewed for her out of discounted "sateen" sheets from walmart?
Not only do I not believe that thing is 17, I don't believe it's a biological female either.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Sorry Puddytat, I'm coming down with a freakin cold so I'm fallin in and out of consciousness at odd hours. lol
Thanks for the info, its interesting to learn but i still stand by what I said about them. They are annoying and need to go away.
I saw something about Whataburger lol Its my fave fast food. Weeee!
It's the meds damn it. I'm tired.
@snatchquatch>>Yup. Seen the birth cert, talked to records in Pierce County (they were a bit terse), and know people who know the family.
You people aren't still buying that she's only 17, are you? Come on.
For shits and giggles, I've been reading her hideous facebook page. Mostly for the comments and the pedophiles telling her how gorgeous she is. That grown men see nothing wrong with ogling someone who is not even an adult yet is just disturbing, but about to the end of the first page, there is this post (from Dec. 6th):
"Courtney Stodden
ATTENTION!!! Support my music career!!!!!!!! with dougs acting no longer bringing in the ca$h (lol) since we got married xoxoxo we need all the money we can get!
More to come courtney-cats! meow! :-)"
Gee, going broke on frapuccinos and Vickie's Secret???
OMG...and she's got a pic of her poor pink pooch perching precariously over peeling paint window panes. (EEEE!!!! I've been studying at the Fetch School of Alliteration!) Lovely to see the paint around the windows is chipping and peeling quite a bit!
Oh, and do you need more proof Fetch isn't writing those gawd-awful tweets? Something else from his Q&A:
4. For all the people who want to know how to get your attention… how do you decide what fan mail to answer?
4. Suggestive snapshots of bodacious bikini-clad beach babes could elicit a hasty response… just kidding… (or not!)…
@agnostic>>Remember the movie, "Mean Girls"? Regina screams at Gretchen Wieners to stop trying to make 'fetch' happen. Doug and the 'rents keep trying to make talentless Courtney happen, so I call her Fetch. So, Doug, Alex, and Krista, "STOP TRYING TO MAKE FETCH HAPPEN!"
Submitted by PuddyTat on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 2:20am.
@agnostic>>Remember the movie, "Mean Girls"? Regina screams at Gretchen Wieners to stop trying to make 'fetch' happen. Doug and the 'rents keep trying to make talentless Courtney happen, so I call her Fetch. So, Doug, Alex, and Krista, "STOP TRYING TO MAKE FETCH HAPPEN!"
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Ahh see! Thank you. Fetch...LOL
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"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 9:44pm.
She's not getting these pics from fb is she? I hope I'm not friends with her on there, because there is one dlister who's screen name I don't know :/
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Her:"I bought sparkling wine. Let's have girls night!" Me:"I would rather put a cigarette out on my clit." - Slashleen on Twitter
@Puddy Tat, thanks for all the info & links, I'd read some of Doug's FAQ pages in the past and even then be came across as a complete douche. I have a question for you though, who's Fetch/Fletch?
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"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Another bit of fuckery from Doug's belated website:
2. What was it like working on The Chocolate War?
2. The Chocolate War was fun for me. We shot in Seattle, so I got to hang out with my mom and brother on and off set. It was exciting, too, working with Keith Gordon on his directorial debut. The cast was great. John Glover was awesome and it was a gas meeting and working with Bud Cort (as you know what a huge Harold and Maude fan I am) ... we shared our mutual Ruth Gordon admirations and respective reminisces of that late great lady. (Harold and Maude is about a May/Dec. romance...big surprise)
4. If you were on Inside The Actor's Studio and James Lipton asked you "what profession other than yours, would you like to attempt?" -how would you answer?
4. Porn star.
Another Big Surprise.
2. If you met a girl who was really good looking but had a horrible personality, would you go out with her?
2. Absolutely not. (But apparently, he WOULD marry her)
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 9:15pm.
Submitted by ilovecookies on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 9:08pm.
Complete and utter fail? I think not. Fuck with him and you fuck with all of us. Leave it alone and thanks for taking it down
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Not all of us. May want to delete that post.
Edit: Well then. Apparently neither one existed and I need to go to bed. Night ya'll!
Why bother to post about these non-entities? I mean, seriously, why? T-Rex is doing ads for Dolce and Gabbana. Is there no irony in this?
Is it safe around these parts yet? With all the shcheiß, merde & caca flying all weekend not to mention the wishes of suicide upon a DL comrade I went AWOL. So are the trolls gone? PSSL? I know you had one bugging you, I hope it's gone. OT-These two ARE FOUL! I never would have pegged Doug H. for a famewhore. He was great on Lost, the X-Files, Green Mile and convincingly scary as fuck as one of the rapists on A Time To Kill. Oh wait...
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"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Please, for the love of all that is holy, please stop posting about these two awful tricks. You're going to feed into the idea that they're popular and then we'll be stuck with them like the Kuntrashians. STOP IT.
You know that video of those poor North Koreans crying hysterically over their dead dictator that MK posted earlier? I'm now wondering if the NK government showed them the Kartrashian Kristmas Kard and pictures of these two trainwrecks in order to get that desired reaction from them.
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Happy Holidays to you too, Khloe! And may you and your family GTFA for 2012!!
Can't have a happy holidays without the HO..THIS BITCH MAKES ME SICK.
"Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be" -▲=
I hope her parents don't have any other children. OMG
I see she's fully clothed for a change. Kudos to her for keeping it demure. You don't want your Seasons Greetings to upset anyone.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
One of the questions on his Q&A:
1) Let's say you meet a girl, you two get along extremely well, you make each other laugh, you have great conversations, you have lots of fun together, and you just seem to click. She is only nineteen, though. Would this stop you from dating her or giving her a chance?
* Absolutely not. Age is illusion.
So, apparently, 16 is just that 9 turned upside down, and to hell with the law. Again, he knew full well she was a minor, despite his claims otherwise.
@puddytat: ok dougs writings read like those of a emotionally stunted young man. Sheesh,not the best bedtime reading. Thanks for taking the trouble to post it. I bid you good night dlisters.
She appears to be really limber. I guess that will come in handy when she starts doing porn.
SANTA EATS COOKIES, NOT PUSSY.
My eyes... my eyes...
I'm sorry, but that was f-ing disgusting. I just can't with these two.
Submitted by Madam Pince on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 10:28pm.
That these idiots get attention is sickening.
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Amen! I wish these two would go the fuck back under the crotch rock they climbed out from under!
Nite folks - I got to get up early cos Im the baking ho. Take care and may all your beds be warm and toasty! :)
@Jewslim>>I'm embarrassed to admit this now, but I used to have a crush on him. And, I'm from the same area Fetch is, so it was big news up here, and I know people that know the family. It's really very sick!
OH! PSL! Thanks for the abfab link the other day- about KardASSians. I loved it!
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
You know that scene in Rudolph, where Burl Ives shakes his Balls (of snow)because of the big big storm coming? THAT is what I feel when I see this pic. can't look any closer.
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
@puddytat: I dig the facts you are posting about this pervo. Your a regular dougstorian.
http://web.archive.org/web/19991003215944/http://www.doughutchison.com/d...
This one is better: http://web.archive.org/web/20031228175841/http://www.doughutchison.com/d...
This is fucking disgusting. I wish they'd fucking disappear. I hate that I know who they are.
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What kind of fuckery are we?
Nowadays you don't mean dick to me
I might let you make it up to me...
-Amy Winehouse
@jewslim>>Yeah, he's been married twice before, and if you use the wayback machine, you can find his old website where he constantly says age is just a number, he'd totally date someone much younger, blah blah, his porn collection, etc. It's just funny, all that stuff in his past, now he's playing this 'good Christian' angle, talking about God, etc. Wow. He's a chameleon...was a vegetarian, isn't now, unless he is now because Fetch claims to be...but, I guess a chameleon and an iguana go well together.
Thanks PuddyTat. I didn't know all that about Doug. Its all pretty pathetic. Maybe well see Toombs out panhadling for change in the future.
I'm starting out with a nice little high here and a glass of vodka ice. Soooo, I expect not to be bothered by slores of any name stirring up stoopid shit.
NOW, this bitch is possibly the most annoying little slut I've seen.
I watched the Dr. Drew (woo woo) Show where they ultra-sound-ed her breasts to try n see fake titty sacks.
My Lord, she is incredibly obnoxious, as is her lizard pimp mate. She's a cross between a Dallas cheerleader whore and a piece of gnarled bacon. No doubt reeks of nail polish remover, Lip Smacker Bubblegum gloss and Jean Nate toilet water.
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Ok by the looks of that picture ol doug is checking to see if she's in heat....PUKE! And tho he looks like a backwoods dyke, who just lucked up and won a jackpot off a scratch ticket, and bought some poon-for-pay, I don't get the gaydar ping from him. I get the lock up the kids ping. He totally puts jolly ranchers in his pockets for kids to go fishing for. Ughh I just made myself sick, byebye whataburger!
Ha ha good one WinterOwl...
Some people are saying he's a gay and others say hes a perv didling an underaged girl...I dont know but when I look at that pic it looks likes hes taking a lick and looking at the camera as he gets away with it. Ewww I just made myself sick.
@gardening>>He was doing online acting workshops, which, I STILL don't understand how that works! I don't think Doug planned ahead too well on this one. He was hoping the controversy would put him out there enough for people to take notice and maybe hire him, or for the whole, "Oh, this is controversial, let's do the reality thing", which was NOT a guarantee, and still really isn't. Just because someone took them on, either MTV or Merv Griffin's company, doesn't mean a reality show will ever actually see the light of day. And if Doug lets Fetch do any talking, that probably scares them away but good. So, Doug has basically ruined his career over getting some young snatch for awhile, because you know this will not actually last.
Maybe roles are underrated.
*sings to the tune of Jingle Bells*
"Who's that whore? Who's that whore? Showing off her tits?
making duck lips and wearing lucite heels with booty shorts, slore!"
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
If Dougie is really just an old perv drunk on underage poon that's one thing BUT shouldnt he also be looking at the bottom line too? How is this epic display of sluttiness going to get him roles. He was a working actor he knows how hard it is so why burn what few bridges he had? He's only been in one major movie that I know of and two tv shows so how is he making money?