George Michael Is FINALLY Out Of The Hospital

Prayer circles formed in dozens of men’s public restrooms around the world when George Michael was hospitalized last month after the terrible cunt that is pneumonia refused to leave his body. It was looking bleak there for a second and some mornings I woke up expecting to find the headline “George Michael is Never Going To Dance Again” or “Last Christmas, Indeed!” on The Daily Mail. But shit is looking up for George Michael’s health, because his rep announced this morning that he’s been released from a clinic in Austria and is back at home in London.

George was rushed to the hospital in Vienna on November 21st after he got the serious sicks just a few hours before a concert. The doctors diagnosed with him with severe pneumonia and put him on bed rest until they felt he was well enough to fly to England. It took four long weeks.

I’m making the same face I made when one of my ex-boyfriends came home looking as fucked up as a meth-faced hyena and said to me, “Oh, I just had a soda water at the bar!” Four weeks in the hospital for PAMONAS (as my cousin calls it) is suspect, but who cares! Who cares if George was really in there to detox off the bad shit or if it took four weeks for him to cough up the hairball he accidentally swallowed which licking on his hot fur piece. The only thing that matters is that George is back and his friends can throw him a welcome home party at Snappy Snaps.

via E! Online