Monday, December 26th 2011
Open Post: Hosted By The World's Youngest Toilet Aficionado
The wine in Italy tastes like the jizz of the angels to me, so I've been drinking that shit by the bottle full. So last night when I came to my temporary home with the hazies in my head and a bladder about to explode, I stumbled into the bathroom and was about to shoot a stream of golden relief into a strange, guitar-shaped toilet when I realized that shit was a bidet! It's a fountain for your stank parts. It's not for pissing.
What I'm trying to say is that if 4-year-old Dustin Kruses loses his figurative shit over toilets, imagine how he'd freak out over an ass faucet? His mother would have to hold the back of his head to make sure his mind didn't blow across the bathroom.
via Buzzfeed
• 
Future plumber here.
WTF? Obsessed with terlets? Weird. But whatever.
@koko, I got the Kindle partially out of convenience, so I can read 1000+ page novels without having to lug a bag of bricks on the bus every morning AND I can switch books midway if I'm getting bored, and partially because I don't have the space to store hundreds of books in my little apartment. My s.o. collects books so we'll have plenty to fill the shelves if we ever move in together. I am sentimental about books too and I don't think they're going the way of the dodo bird anytime soon, because lots of people love the feel of a physical book; for now, this is just another option.
Also, I have pretty bad carpal tunnel in both hands, which makes holding books at an upright angle difficult...so it's way easier to turn "pages" on the Kindle, but that's just me and my crappy nervous system.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 11:20pm.
I see some people talking about Kindle's...please explain. I don't get the love...I would much rather hold a book in my hand than an electronic device. Oh, and Merry Christmas to all these wonderful children/teens who didn't get the Ipad/Iphone they wanted ( I didn't have the honor of finding this but here it is)
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-who-didnt-get-what-they-wanted-for...
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Jesus. What a bunch of spoiled little shits. They need boot camp STAT.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
The swiss, eh...I had swiss neighbors once and yes, the guy was hot. Good to know.
Very interesting place to vacation and edit your book. Looking forward to toasting your success! :)
:) Bjorky it was you??? No, really, thanks for clearing that up, I looked fast and misunderstood. (my wine, I mean, reading glasses must've been cloudy) I missed SweetASS and Jacko's debut because I was busy entertaining future in-laws, so didn't know about troll things. Ignorant as usual.
Thanks for the condolences.
Gotta love you sluts!
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
A.cotw/sonne:
Yes! The Swiss are hot. I almost broke my neck this past summer in Zurich from twisting it back and forth. Money makes you look better. It's true!
sonne: No reason to be here other than vacation and holed away editing my book!
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Submitted by sonne on Tue, 12/27/2011 - 6:21am.
LOL, can you send me a few? Danes just aren't doing it for me nor me them apparently.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I recommend Swiss guys. :)
LOL, can you send me a few? Danes just aren't doing it for me nor me them apparently.
What are you doing in China, if you don't mind my asking? You may have said but I missed it.
sonne:
I've been importing Aussies for years now. It's about time I got on their shores to dur' it!
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You lucky dude, getting to go to Australia. Guessing the peen situation should be better there.
Totally random...
I have been taking alot of taxis here in Beijing, and every single one has some advertisement of Ryan Reynolds attempting to be sexy and debonair in a tux.
No ma'am, NOT buying it!
He will always be that beady-eyed, borderline fat bastard to me from that 'Pizza' show!
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 12/27/2011 - 4:50am.
A.cotw:
Well, I am going to soon Down Under, and I will have to give you the full follow-up Heaux Report!
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I'm looking forward to that. :)
A.cotw:
Well, I am going to soon Down Under, and I will have to give you the full follow-up Heaux Report!
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 12/27/2011 - 4:12am.
A.cotw:
I believe so, actually, but this comment was for comedic purposes! ;)
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For some reason,reading the word "clitorises" brought to mind that a woman has one clitoris,but can have more than one G-spot.
Since we're exchanging observations about international penis size, the largest I have ever seen were attached to men from Scotland and Lebanon!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfDUCUYaa1c
Nice music link.
A.cotw:
I believe so, actually, but this comment was for comedic purposes! ;)
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http://youtu.be/F90w-ZHNXnI
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 12/27/2011 - 3:21am.
Bjork You:
It's ALL sorts of fickle, fandangoed, and fuxored right about now. And I have tried to be a slut with the Chinese but it is true what they say about their peens.
They're clitorises!
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Isn't the plural of clitoris clitorii?
Slut!!!!
I will Skype you later. I just learned how to do it.
Bjork You:
Of course I can get on more than just Dlisted and Skype. But I cannot get on Facebook or Youtube. And when it comes to Chinese measurements, trust me, I am NOT wrong!
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You still can't get FB? Only dlisted and Skype?
Ha, ha!!!
DISCRIMINATOR OF TINY PEENS REPORTED.
I am telling you that that rumour is not true, that you are meeting the wrong kind of men. Trust me.
Bjork You:
It's ALL sorts of fickle, fandangoed, and fuxored right about now. And I have tried to be a slut with the Chinese but it is true what they say about their peens.
They're clitorises!
EPIC FUCKERY FAIL!
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What is up with your liver, your drunken slut?
I think I might need a disco coma to prepare for tonight. Why is my liver giving me the side-eye?!
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It's not safe in here? What, there are Hiltons and Kardashians spreading their v.d.?
Blowing pot smoke to everone!!!
Triston, I'm trying!
Bjork You:
blow harder!!
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Triston!
Let me blow some smoke your way...
I would love LOVE LOVE a joint right now!
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Mickey, are you here?
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Submitted by Vern on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 8:50pm.
Aww, you whores are the best. Selfless bitch that I am, I can gratefully accept ALL Peeno Noir!
Muchas Gracias!
*clinks glass*
Not sure who called me a troll, read fast while my husband thought I was doing homework, but, it seemed a bunch of peeps thought I was Saying J Harvey was fired when I was just ASKing. As someone who has been "invited-to-leave-right-now-thank-you-very-much" I wasn't trying to be a Kunt, honest!
Thanks again guys! *hiccup*
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Hey Vern, scroll back, you'll see that I didn't call you a troll. I thought you were saying that he was, and I said that I hope it wasn't a troll rumour because as you recall, and if you don't, here is the reminder, all kinds of rumours abounded when jack and Sweetas guest blogged in June. I just want to clear that up.
And sorry to read about the funeral, my condolences.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Tue, 12/27/2011 - 12:15am.
The way I look at it, these parents deserve their asshole kids--if they hadn't spoiled them to begin with, they wouldn't have these shit values. When I hear people complaining about how their kids are such "brats", like it occurred in a vacuum, without their participation, I smile a little private smile and give my buddy Karma the old thumbs up. May they all kill each other in their quests for meaningless crap.
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That kind of Karma is your buddy? What a way to look at the world. Well, if what you say about Karma is true...
For a germaphobe this video is hard to watch. I hate it when kids have their hands all over the toilet seat - even when still in store - and then touch everything in sight. If ever these people want to be a guest in my house, they will first have to cure the little guy from this obsession, because it seriously interferes with mine.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
The way I look at it, these parents deserve their asshole kids--if they hadn't spoiled them to begin with, they wouldn't have these shit values. When I hear people complaining about how their kids are such "brats", like it occurred in a vacuum, without their participation, I smile a little private smile and give my buddy Karma the old thumbs up. May they all kill each other in their quests for meaningless crap.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 11:20pm.
----
"I didn't get a car, so #fuckmom."
Who the hell are these shitty children? If I had a kid and it put that on their twitter, I'd drop-kick its ass out the door without the damn iphone, ipod, crackberry, or computer I'd already bought its entitled ass.
Not really, though... because I wouldn't have bought the kid all that shit already anyway.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 11:20pm.
That is the most disgusting shit i've ever seen.
I'm a big believer in that the shit has yet to hit the fan ('08 was dress-rehersal) and these people and the ones that went crazy over air jordans makes me want to live in the sticks.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 11:20pm.
I see some people talking about Kindle's...please explain. I don't get the love...I would much rather hold a book in my hand than an electronic device. Oh, and Merry Christmas to all these wonderful children/teens who didn't get the Ipad/Iphone they wanted ( I didn't have the honor of finding this but here it is)
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-who-didnt-get-what-they-wanted-for...
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wow...
============================================
...the end
::peeks into thread::
Is it safe for me to talk in here??? {o:
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"I wanted to be a trophy wife, but that never worked out.". MK
«««««««««««««»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»
Licks Koko'skitten's toeses!!!!
YES! Real Books!
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
I see some people talking about Kindle's...please explain. I don't get the love...I would much rather hold a book in my hand than an electronic device. Oh, and Merry Christmas to all these wonderful children/teens who didn't get the Ipad/Iphone they wanted ( I didn't have the honor of finding this but here it is)
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-who-didnt-get-what-they-wanted-for...
I've never been happy living far from the Pacific.
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"The universe is made of stories, not atoms."
Muriel Rukeyser, poet
ya'll chickenasses still cluck'n?
Hekki, I used to feel like you about being landlocked, but then The Banshe & I lived on the edge of Hampton Roads here on Virginia and I saw a few storms pass thru. After that I headed inland & west!
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"And to the commentator who snarked that Boston can't be a drinking city because we don't have a legal happy hour - think again, chief. We work around that shit."
As far as places to move to, I'd have to go with Liechtenstein.
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 7:42pm.
Happy Belated Birthday!
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 7:00pm.
I would love to live in Eastern Tennessee, preferably Maryville but I don't think I can afford acreage there. It is close to Knoxville and less than 2 hours to Chattanooga. They have seasons there and despite rumors of hillbillies, I found the people to be kind and well spoken. Mr. Spot and I will have our place paid off soon and we would like to be there within 5-10 years.
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Cosign on Tennessee-ans being really nice. I cannot ever see myself leaving the East Coast, barring something completely unexpected like an unbeatable job offer out west or something, but I got the chance to visit rural TN when I dated a guy who was from there. The people were really nice and friendly, and the scenery was drop dead gorgeous. Nashville was a lot of fun, too. Definitely some place I'd go back to!
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by Vern on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 8:01pm.
Since J. Harvey started his first post with a history of his firings and then MK starting posting again, it is natural that you would wonder if MK fired him.
*watches Vern's back*
*charges Tazer*
*sharpens shank*
☺☺☺☺☺
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Aww, you whores are the best. Selfless bitch that I am, I can gratefully accept ALL Peeno Noir!
Muchas Gracias!
*clinks glass*
Not sure who called me a troll, read fast while my husband thought I was doing homework, but, it seemed a bunch of peeps thought I was Saying J Harvey was fired when I was just ASKing. As someone who has been "invited-to-leave-right-now-thank-you-very-much" I wasn't trying to be a Kunt, honest!
Thanks again guys! *hiccup*
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011