Ho Ho Ho-ing In Rome
Well, that didn't take long. Celebslam reports that your favorite man whore and mine (okay not even in our top 10 really) Ashton Kutcher was in Rome over Christmas with his new squeeze Lorene Scafaria. She's a 33-year-old screenwriter who some say he started seeing back in February when he auditioned for one of her films. But that math doesn't make sense, since he was still very married to his mom Demi Moore then!! And still is, right? Oh what the fuck am I saying, you know it's totally true. She was reportedly in a relationship when they met too. Birds of a SUCIO! feather nesting, how sweet.
According to Celebslam:
"During their private sojourn, the couple tooled around in a Porsche Carrera Sports 2011 and holed up at a private pad. During a romantic lunch at Pizzeria Trattoria Toscana in Pisa on Christmas Eve, they 'held hands,' witness Alex Thorpe tells Us. 'They shared spaghetti, and he paid.'"
Well isn't that EXCITING. Holding hands and eating spaghetti! I wonder if they slurped a noodle until they accidentally smooched and he rolled a meatball to her with his nose like in Lady and the Tramp. Between that greasy mess of hair on his head and his vagabond peen he's got the tramp part DOWN. Move the fuck over Paris, between this and Michael K's presence Rome is the new city of love.
Celebslam
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Ashton is stalking MK. The woman is just a cover. Watch out, MK!
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 4:10am.
Submitted by liverwurst on Fri, 12/30/2011 - 3:17pm.
Dear sweetas, When you have to type "fuck" this often, you're trying way too hard. I'll check back in when Mk gets back...yawn.
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I'm so glad to read this. Now go, and please take your alts with you. We got that you are displeased with her blogging the first, second, third, etc., time that you expressed this. And if I am mistaken about you having alts, I am sorry, and I am still glad to see you go.
(But you're probably still here and will probably be checking back, despite what I hope is a promise. So please try sitting on your hands or going to another site until MK returns.)
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Bravo!!!
Submitted by liverwurst on Fri, 12/30/2011 - 3:17pm.
Dear sweetas, When you have to type "fuck" this often, you're trying way too hard. I'll check back in when Mk gets back...yawn.
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I'm so glad to read this. Now go, and please take your alts with you. We got that you are displeased with her blogging the first, second, third, etc., time that you expressed this. And if I am mistaken about you having alts, I am sorry, and I am still glad to see you go.
(But you're probably still here and will probably be checking back, despite what I hope is a promise. So please try sitting on your hands or going to another site until MK returns.)
"vagabond peen"
Ha, ha, ha!!
Does it have a little hobo bag, that scarf tied to the end of a stick? Poor Vagabond Peen, hopping on and freight cars for transport, eating a can of baked beans around a campfire... The Misadventures of Vagabond Peen.
gosh, just by looking at him you can tell he's an A* douche. an entitled son of a bitch. having said that, id probably do him. of course he'll finish first and walk out during my mid way tellin me to grab a sandwich and leave. i'll grab that sandwich, and demi's leaf-water-once-daily meal, intensifying my hate even more which is what sex is for. and buy a medium sized dildo on the way home for a better fit. douche.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 12/30/2011 - 8:57pm.
I know its not right but...I hope he gets the herp!
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Get???????????????? I imagine he might have traveled that road already...
Fuck off and grow up, Kutcher. Asshole.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
I know its not right but...I hope he gets the herp!
After being subjected to Asston AND the Jersey Shore gremlins, I wouldn't be surprised if Italy regards this as an act of aggression and cuts all diplomatic ties with the USA tomorrow.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
never got his appeal.. he plays dumb characters.. he looks average.. and always has a "look at me i'm a major douche" face going on..
he looked okay when he was a model.. but this greasy bear look.. ugh. heaven help me.
She's got a Jay Leno chin.
so one of the screenwriters in the "fempire"(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorene_Scafaria) is fucking around with a still-married man cheater? real inspiring feminism
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 12/30/2011 - 3:49pm.
Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 12/30/2011 - 3:41pm.
Foul-moufed hoor.
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Fuckin' a.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 12/30/2011 - 3:41pm.
Foul-moufed hoor.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Dog, I have no fucking clue...I cannot fuckin' help it.
Shit. :)
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
urmomma, what the fuckety fuckety fucking fucker is wrong with you?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Dear liverwurst, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I am fucking surprised at how very little fucking effort that took. I thought I was going to have to try real fuckin'hard, but what the fuck you know? It was real fuckin' easy.
A-fuck-u-very-much for your time.
fuck.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
What a coincidence he's got "Ca Ca" behind his head where his brain lives.
Dear sweetas, When you have to type "fuck" this often, you're trying way too hard. I'll check back in when Mk gets back...yawn.
who is the biggest douche?
Kanye West
John Mayer
Ashton Kutcher
Mel Gibson
Massengill
Summer's Eve
Call me crazy, but it's pretty trashy to be seen canoodling (shut up, it works) with your new piece while you're still technically married to your spouse. I don't care if you're screaming at each other in front of your divorce lawyers and wish the other would drop dead, it's tacky.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
I like most Ashton Kutcher movies. I actually find him likeable on the screen. Not everyone is trying to win an Oscar. I do agree that he's a douche IRL. As far as his new girl goes, at least she's not some 22 year old college bimbo.
*shrugs*
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Douchechill!
I didn't think he was bad in "Butterfly Effect".
I'm sure this one understands and accepts Ashton in a way Demi never could. She doesn't restrict his liberties, and her chacha is pure candy and rainbows. She has all the qualities to make a man like him devote himself entirely. Demi was just overbearing and old, this new love is different, yall.
"I know that I'm going to be a target, but I'm never going to be a victim". - Justin Bieber
Birds of a SUCIO! feather nesting, how sweet.
LOL Sweeeeetasss, when I refreshed I could only see the top of a head and I recognized Asstons damn crome
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Today the makers of Massengill voted unanimously to put a picture of Asston Cooter on their package, as he is a much better representation of what a douche experience is than the previously used woman looking pretty.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by mastixa on Fri, 12/30/2011 - 12:21pm.
I've come to the conclusion that Ashton has never acted a day in his life. That he essentially rolls out of bed, walks into a studio set and plays himself. Because for serious, every single one of his roles is EXACTLY THE SAME character.
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Werd.
♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden
'& he paid.' Still a fail.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I've come to the conclusion that Ashton has never acted a day in his life. That he essentially rolls out of bed, walks into a studio set and plays himself. Because for serious, every single one of his roles is EXACTLY THE SAME character. So no bitch, you did not "audition" for a role. Either you have some major technical skills in the bedroom that enables you to keep getting acting gigs or color me baffled how you still have a career.
Since MK is ovah there maybe they'll run into each other!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Greasy, self-absorbed douche.
She's got some major Leno chin on her.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
....Summer's Eve....DOOOOOOSH!...
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...'She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c*nts with a capital K' - Mickey Rourke...
He was so cute on That 70s Show. Now, he just looks unshowered and gross.
When I saw pics of his modeling days I was blown away (by some of them anyway) Now? Pass on the homeless look...
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...the end
Douche!