Happy New Year!
I was going to start this post by brain farting about all the fuckery that trickled on us this year, but the memory box in my head labeled 2011 has been erased by all of the breakfast wine, lunch wine, after lunch wine, dinner wine, before bedtime wine and during bedtime wine I've been guzzling in Italy this past week. The only thing I really remember right now from 2011 is the ethereal dandelion of my dreams, Duchess of Alba, dethroning that bland basic bitch Kate Middleton as the most beautiful bride of the year. And I also remember chewing on an entire glass bong after I found out that the IRS was auditing my ass. Oh, 2011, you punched me in the butt cunt and then you blew powdery beauty right in my face.
Whatever it is you do tonight, be safe about it. And by that I mean, don't give your last name to your one night trick and if you're going to get arrested, make sure the police drag you to a jail cell with WiFi. Because how can I start my day tomorrow without reading your emails where you curse me out for my tragic grammar and attach that picture of Prince Hot Ginge's hard scepter that never gets old?
I'm spending my night the way all damn tourists in Venice spend theirs by going to that St. Mark's Square shit. But I'm only going, because somebody told me that at midnight, you're supposed to kiss everybody around you. At least that's what they tell me and that's the story I'm going to tell after I get punched in the tongue for making mouth love to every hot Italian piece with luscious hair I see. (Seriously, almost every Italian dude has a luscious mane that I just want to floss my ass with.) On that note....
Happy New Year! Here's hoping that if the apocalypse eats all of us in 2012, it eats the Kardashians first so we know what it's like to live in a Kuntrashian-free world even for just one second. I'll DRANK (and burp) to that!
I've been partying hard since I got here (I'm in L.A.) shortly after Christmas, so I'm just going to a sedate party.
Too, too many amateurs try to prove themselves party animals when they go out to clubs/bars/lipo/big parties on NYE. Considering it falls on a Saturday night this year, it will be even worse.
The new year got me by surprise, we're already in 2012 and I don't remember how we got that far. My family booked a New Years Eve Washington DC and we had a great time there, I wish we stayed more, everything went so fast...
Submitted by Banilla Bagina on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 10:34pm.
@youannoyme: another alt loser short term poster. "whislting goingaway" clever, hahah! Knee slappping loser lulz..let me gues are you trying to be on of the kool kidz ondlisted? Ghey
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Think what you will, plumpkin. But - to be the one to state the painfully obvious yet again - "alt loser" ... really? That's a bit too pot/kettle/black even for you. But I'm sure you've already deduced that sad fact, right? Tell me, Oh Fishy One ... is that why you have so many alts? Not accepted by the cool kids - on the main, the forum or in real life, huh? Always on the outside looking in - or playing both sides of the fence, as it were. Right?
p.s. You may thank me now for pointing out the painfully obvious, once again.
ffs
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who mcfucking broke the mcfucking forum?
@youannoyme: another alt loser short term poster. "whislting goingaway" clever, hahah! Knee slappping loser lulz..let me gues are you trying to be on of the kool kidz ondlisted? Ghey
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 1:00am.
I think I can safely say that most of us are on here because Dlisted is in one way or another captivating. Being one here is the closest we get to being inside the maze of original ideas and analogies that is MK's head. But unlike Willy Wonka, our host leaves us free to wonder where we choose, not imposing any boundaries and making sure the exits are clearly visible at all times. Therefore, if we behave like lab rats, we have only ourselves to blame. Over the last year or so, there's been a disconcerting increase of mutual ferocity and cannibalistic behaviour among certain members, especially on the open threads. To them I would like to say that I hope they take different roads this year. MK built us a pleasure dome. Please, let's not turn it into a haunted house.
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^^^
This!
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by Banilla Bagina on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 11:30pm.
Meatblocks who the fuck are you? Alt? Right then. I've been on here longer than you. I skip your comments as you try too hard and are never witty. Loser dlisted bully lulz. Hey now that you got my attention you've been craving i can tell you what a great avie! Looks like you poured a lot of blood, sweat and tears into that.
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Something "Fishy" goin' on up in hurr. Pun intended.
:::walks away - whistling:::
After a long weekend, I finally logged in and glad to see Michael K is having a wonderful time in Italy.
I love Venice. And I'm sure Michael K is making new boytoy friends. Enjoy!!!
To all you Dlisters, HAPPY NEW YEAR! (yeah, a day late and a dollar short, my life story). Here's to a scandalous and fabulous New Year!
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
Haha get it!
Lutrelle:
I've already done enough cluck'n this year that the henhouse is in need of repair!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
SMH yall hens still cluck'n
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 3:20am.
*stands next to satan and bjork* Oh dear.
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Oh, no, I'm not standing next to that one, Stoney.
And um, to you know who: Major troll fail in front of EVERYONE, and trotting out alts to right it only draw more attention to your flailing.
*stands next to satan and bjork* Oh dear.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Well said, Mickey! As usual.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
I think I can safely say that most of us are on here because Dlisted is in one way or another captivating. Being one here is the closest we get to being inside the maze of original ideas and analogies that is MK's head. But unlike Willy Wonka, our host leaves us free to wonder where we choose, not imposing any boundaries and making sure the exits are clearly visible at all times. Therefore, if we behave like lab rats, we have only ourselves to blame. Over the last year or so, there's been a disconcerting increase of mutual ferocity and cannibalistic behaviour among certain members, especially on the open threads. To them I would like to say that I hope they take different roads this year. MK built us a pleasure dome. Please, let's not turn it into a haunted house.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Bjork You:
No, my peen is not cold and I am writing the latest Heaux Confessional as to why it is not! ;)
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Meatblocks who the fuck are you? Alt? Right then. I've been on here longer than you. I skip your comments as you try too hard and are never witty. Loser dlisted bully lulz. Hey now that you got my attention you've been craving i can tell you what a great avie! Looks like you poured a lot of blood, sweat and tears into that.
I am out for the night, y'all!
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:45pm.
I have a travel tip for Paris: after visiting a couple times and returning feeling bankrupt after staying at LeBristol or similar, I just spent a week at the Best Western Marais Bastille and got an incredible rate of about 150 $ a night for Paris and that is cheap and the hotel was perfectly nice and there was a Metro station right outside the door. I stayed a week. Once you see how easy the subway is the trick is to stay near a Metro station and as far from the main drag as possible. If you have to view the Eiffel Tower outside your window you'll go broke. Free internet, too!
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I absolutely agree with you on this. With such an extensive metro, why pay more? Traveling around the city is part of the fun IMO. And I am not going to be out all night and have to worry about the hours when the metro isn't running.
stopped by the house
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:41pm.
Triston,
Is your peen cold?
why?
Submitted by undinespragg on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:52pm.
Interesting moment with my kid today: It was really cold and windy (50 MPH gusts) and we got on the bus to do some shopping. The stop by our house is the end of the line and sits for 10 min before turning around, but we wait outside because the drivers consider it their "break."
When we got on after standing in the cold, there was a homeless person on there, who was riding to keep warm, and she made the bus kind of smelly, and was eating food. So, when we got off the bus we had this whole discussion about why she was breaking "the rules."
I had to explain about the woman being homeless, which made my daughter sad. I think it's good that she is awake of those kinds of things tho.
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Yeah, me, too.
When that dick Guiliani was mayor, he wanted the subway benches out of stations because homeless people sleeping on them. I'm thinking, yeah, that's a pain, I can't sit, but you know what, at least I am going to a home, a place that has a roof, and I can eat, I'm not starving.
Interesting moment with my kid today: It was really cold and windy (50 MPH gusts) and we got on the bus to do some shopping. The stop by our house is the end of the line and sits for 10 min before turning around, but we wait outside because the drivers consider it their "break."
When we got on after standing in the cold, there was a homeless person on there, who was riding to keep warm, and she made the bus kind of smelly, and was eating food. So, when we got off the bus we had this whole discussion about why she was breaking "the rules."
I had to explain about the woman being homeless, which made my daughter sad. I think it's good that she is awake of those kinds of things tho.
I tried to mate my bulldog and his wiener was to big.
I have a travel tip for Paris: after visiting a couple times and returning feeling bankrupt after staying at LeBristol or similar, I just spent a week at the Best Western Marais Bastille and got an incredible rate of about 150 $ a night for Paris and that is cheap and the hotel was perfectly nice and there was a Metro station right outside the door. I stayed a week. Once you see how easy the subway is the trick is to stay near a Metro station and as far from the main drag as possible. If you have to view the Eiffel Tower outside your window you'll go broke. Free internet, too!
Triston,
Is your peen cold?
Undie:
If you want to stretch your dollar, first go to Paris for a weekend, THEN take a train or bus to eastern Europe. Krakow and Warsaw are amazing and very cheap. Riga, the same. And you can always head down to Greece and dodge explosives and tell her they're fireworks on the sidewalks!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by undinespragg on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:15pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:04pm.
Undie, hold on, I'm lighting up...
(Purple Kush, bitches!)
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Well, I guess we know what your New Year's resolution isn't.
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Ha, ha!!!
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:12pm.
Submitted by undinespragg on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:44pm.
Mini-Undie wants to go to Europe, so I told her we could. Any tips on family friendly destinations? She really wants to go to Paris, of course, and I would not mind visiting there again.
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I wish I had had that kind of clout with my parents when I was that age!!
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Were you like that kid in "Joshua"? All super smart and creepy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpeTkVEJqDE
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:12pm.
Submitted by undinespragg on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:44pm.
Mini-Undie wants to go to Europe, so I told her we could. Any tips on family friendly destinations? She really wants to go to Paris, of course, and I would not mind visiting there again.
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I wish I had had that kind of clout with my parents when I was that age!!
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I love traveling and I would sort of rather she go with me instead of waiting until she turns 18, and then me worrying about her the whole time. IDK how my parents dealt with me jumping on a plane for 3 months at the age of 20, traveling alone in the days before cell phones and v. little internet access.
I would randomly decide to jump on a train at night and wouldn't called them for weeks. Once I decided to go to Portugal (the worlds fair was there that year) and our train crashed into a tractor that was on the tracks, and we had to hike to a different stop. I could've just disappeared!
It's not like I'm spending my money on anything important at the moment.
Jizzball was known to hurt a lot of people here.
Some people also believe that Jizzball was "Sherry" aka "Speakit" but rumors are like assholes and they all stink.
Frankly, I think gossip blogs should stick to gossiping about the topics and not the people who comment on said topics if people actually want to have an 'encouraging' atmosphere here.
That snippet of DA's that Bjork You shared was comedy gold. Well, I guess SOMEONE isn't sucking INTERNET ass here. BIG TIME!
(Sorry, I HAVE MINION BREATH)
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:04pm.
Undie, hold on, I'm lighting up...
(Purple Kush, bitches!)
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Well, I guess we know what your New Year's resolution isn't.
I'm thinking of picking 3 locations. I don't think that is too many trips by train. Possibly even going in the off season. (We're certainly used to cold and snow her in MN.)
I'm just used to traveling single on a v. cheap budget in my twenties, so this is going to be an entirely different situation. You can't live on bread and Nutella/eat every other day, and save your money for Happy Hour when you are traveling with a kid!
Submitted by undinespragg on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:44pm.
Mini-Undie wants to go to Europe, so I told her we could. Any tips on family friendly destinations? She really wants to go to Paris, of course, and I would not mind visiting there again.
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I wish I had had that kind of clout with my parents when I was that age!!
Submitted by undinespragg on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:02pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:47pm.
What a great idea, Undie!
That sounds like fun. Why does she want to go to Paris?
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She wants to see the Eiffel Tower. Not very original, but she is 8YO! Also, somewhere she read that they serve bread and butter with hot chocolate for breakfast, which is true, but obvs. a hilarious reason to want to travel somewhere, since we can have the same thing here. I think she will love the museums as well. I did read that they got rid of the street vendors tho, which makes me sad.
We can only spent 2 weeks because now that the divorce is final, it's in our parenting agreement that each parent gets up to 2 weeks of vacation w/our kid, and the other cannot object. That seems like plenty for such a young kid, though.
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It sucks getting rid of street vendors, they are doing the same in NYC, it's very expensive to get a license. I'm sure you'll be able to find at least one crepe vendor!
It's a beautiful city, Undie...
I think 2 weeks is great because it give you a chance to acclimate to the time change and get into the culture.
The only thing that sucks, of cours,e is the dollar, which is like the fucking peso there.
Undie, hold on, I'm lighting up...
(Purple Kush, bitches!)
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:47pm.
What a great idea, Undie!
That sounds like fun. Why does she want to go to Paris?
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She wants to see the Eiffel Tower. Not very original, but she is 8YO! Also, somewhere she read that they serve bread and butter with hot chocolate for breakfast, which is true, but obvs. a hilarious reason to want to travel somewhere, since we can have the same thing here. I think she will love the museums as well. I did read that they got rid of the street vendors tho, which makes me sad.
We can only spent 2 weeks because now that the divorce is final, it's in our parenting agreement that each parent gets up to 2 weeks of vacation w/our kid, and the other cannot object. That seems like plenty for such a young kid, though.
Undie...
About Paris?
Are you seriously that angry at Michael K.?
I thought you were kidding!
:(
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2013 - 9:44pm.
I'm still here, bitches!
Love always,
Bjork You
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:44pm.
You found me out.
I'm JustJared!!!!!! :D XD
Submitted by suckandfuck on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 8:00pm.
Everyone Else: "If I were looking for a normal poster, I'd ask the regs."
You: "The regs? Oh, no no no..."
EE: "Or, you could ask the guest blogger, in that direction."
You: "Oh, thank you. I think I'll see that fag..."
EE: "Of course, he's an alt, too."
You: "But I don't want to go among alts."
EE:"Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's an alt here."
[laughs maniacally; starts to disappear]
EE: "You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself."
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Act II, please.
Submitted by undinespragg on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:44pm.
Mini-Undie wants to go to Europe, so I told her we could. Any tips on family friendly destinations? She really wants to go to Paris, of course, and I would not mind visiting there again.
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What a great idea, Undie!
That sounds like fun. Why does she want to go to Paris?
Submitted by Foxy Knoxy on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:18pm.
Is that an O-face in your avatar, Foxy? :D
What was this crazyness? Ha, ha!! (Sorry, you didn't delete it fast enough). Is it mental illness or performance art or just plain old attention whoring? Or a combo of two or all three? In any case, keep this in mind when engaging any further (unless Devil, you want to explain your opus):
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Submitted by DevilsAdvocate on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 12:56am.
Happy NEW YEAR to the most lascivious, slightly retarded looking half Asian/Mexican/other-shit aborted looking fetus from hell white boi who makes excellent hay about people he can never be, will never aspire to be and will never look like in a million millenniums.
His rancorous wit cannot be discounted by his incredible fugly trollface in real life though.
His 'art' is in putting people down who have vastly more talent (even the idiots with sex tapes) than this moron who looks like he never leaves his basement for sunlight.
I'd say, the trog known as 'M.K.' is one of the most hideous, maggoty fags on earth.
Now. You may say. Why did you stay?
I will ask YOU. Why do you slow down for a train-wreck?
You know what I love best about the fug, the retardation, the horrible idiocy of 'MK'? It's watching you sycophants slobber all over him without nary a conscience.
I fully expect my username to be summarily banned because of this truthful post.
I also suspect that suck-n-fuck is a mod here which is probably why everyone walks on eggshells around his disgusting and vile posts.
Good riddance.
Now bye.
5 minutes agoBjork You
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:12pm.
Thank you and Happy New Year!
I joined here years ago and never much braved jumping in because I felt invisible and intimidated. That probably sounds chickenshit and I suppose in hindsight it is since it's only the internet but it's easily to feel like an outsider where there's any group of people who are unfamiliar. I hardly followed much here until the last few months and then when I wanted to comment I had to get a password retrieval because I forgot mine. No. I wasn't stoned at the time. Just forgetful. :D
I probably should just go back into hiding once I sober up because this place scares the living crap out of me.
Hey! I remember you though! Didn't you have a "Mommie Dearest" avatar the last time I was here? I fucking love that movie!!!!!! :DDD
Mini-Undie wants to go to Europe, so I told her we could. Any tips on family friendly destinations? She really wants to go to Paris, of course, and I would not mind visiting there again.
New year...nothing new here I see! How is everybody tonight?
really, bjork? really? not all newbies are alts or angela? huh. i did not know that. i thought everyone was her. boy was i fooled. 4+ years is the new new. i have been schooled.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kei83nNbrFY&feature=related
A Serbian Film is less offensive than your "O" face.
Practice your "O" face in the mirror so you don't scare your lover into spontaneously vomiting while you cum.
That is all.
No, Meat, not all new folks are alts or trolls, and not all of them are Angela. She is rightly blamed for all of that shit, but that doesn't make the accusations true.