Hot Slut Of The Day!
This will be my second and last post of the day, because my ass has been traveling all morning and I'll be traveling the rest of the day before I get home and shrivel down into a puddle of McDonald's salt and dried Starbucks foam. But I couldn't do that before paying proper homage to the first and probably hottest slut of 2012: TEDDY BEAR!
Teddy Bear became an instant worldwide star when he entertained all of us by NOMing the shit out of a corn on the cob while sounding like a baby Ewok trying to gargle and mouth fart at the same time. Then he came back hard with both a Thanksgiving and Christmas greeting. And now Teddy's wishing you a Happy NOM Year and re-enacting your NYE, because I'm sure you spent your night getting drunk on corn, knocking down bottles and slapping at champagne bottles like a true belligerent drunk bitch.
Today, Teddy's breaking bottles and tomorrow he'll be beating his assistants with a BlackBerry and getting kicked out of Chateau Marmont for slapping his gayelle lover. We don't need the likes of Lindsay Lohan, now that we've got Teddy. 2012 is truly the year of Teddy (which means that 2012 is truly the year where the most entertaining thing will be a yappy porcupine doing the exact same thing while wearing a different hat)!
I always wanted a pet porcupine but my nasty abusive parents deprived me of the joy that comes with having a prickly little friend. That's why I'm so screwed up now, if I grew up with a porcupine I would be totally normal right now.
He looks really cute with his hat on.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:38pm.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:35pm.
...and how do you get a porcupine to let you put a party hat on his ass without it pokin you the fuck up like a pin-cushion?
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A shitload of corn.
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The lady in the video said he liked wearing the Santa hat, so maybe he likes wearing this hat.
I fucking love Teddy. Can he run for President in November? I'd vote for him!
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Hekki you're just in time for Season 2 which I think starts next weekend!
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
Downton Abbey might be able to catch on the road
Mary Crawley is marrying 3rd cousin Mathew Crawley to keep the estate in family?
Team Teddy!
Kinda late to the "Downton Abbey" party but that shit is GOOD! I watched two episodes just now and have to restrain myself because it's midnight am time to sleep.
Good stuff. Good stuff.
Once again you horz turned me on to something great.
I feel so guilty for having eaten porcupine for dinner once when I was a child. Teddy Bear just melts my heart and then steals the left over goo. I refuse to eat bunnies, squirrels, and bears anymore. Now porcupines are added to the list. I'm going to end up vegetarian because I think everything is too cute :(
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
no crime to take in their essence, by eating them. 'Sings a few bars from
Lion King'
Hey, what about Banana Sam, the squirrel monkey from the San Francisco Zoo? He's an international sensation, and he should be Hot Slut!
Get home safe, MK! Love you!
Hahahaha I voted for the couch like 200 times just to make bitches mad ( yes, I claim to have a life)
Submitted by KittenKatinCanada on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 7:01pm.
Submitted by DevilsAdvocate on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:55pm.
Don't feel bad about double posts. It's not like you're SEEING double like my drunk ass right now. haha :D
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Truth be told, Mr. Kitten Kat mixed me a Baileys and almond milk (please don't judge me for my inability to drink the "hard stuff") and it went straight to my ginger head. By the way, DA, thanks for posting the Toby link . . . hilarious! That butt-dragging pooch never gets old.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
OMG SKETTI CAT! MY ALL TIME FAVORITE!!!!
*pees a little*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:52pm.
Submitted by cocoebert on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 5:14pm.
What happened to Hot Slut of the Year, btw? Was Stains the final straw for some folk or something? Personally, I loved all the drama. Heh.
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I loved Hot Slut of the Year voting drama too. I voted for Banana Jesus at least 50 times, hahahaha
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Lol. My guess is that it got to be too much work, what with having to compile a hot slut of the week, and then voting monthly, and then the yearly she-bang. Not to mention MK having to put up with everyone's bitching. HSOTY- serious business!!
Could be, but one of these days, Teddy is going to give her MAJOR BITE!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Darn! First Double Post of the Year!
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
Submitted by DevilsAdvocate on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:55pm.
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Thanks for the memories. I forgot about wormy Toby and his "new trick"!
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
HOW does one get a hat on a porcupine?? I LOVE this guy but my fave video of the year was ElWilly the dancing chihuahua. That never fails to pick me up!! I also loved discovering the Kelly family with all the singing brothers and sisters.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:52pm
I loved Hot Slut of the Year voting drama too. I voted for Banana Jesus at least 50 times, hahahaha
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Good point, what ever happened to HS of the Year? Abandoned Couch was the nail-biter for me.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
Submitted by KittenKatinCanada on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:49pm.
My heart is still stuck in 2008 when Toby the butt scootching, wormy bung-hole Dog made hot slut:
http://dlisted.com/node/29351
:D
Maybe, maybe she gives him the corn and while he's nom-nom-noming she sneak attacks it on him and then he's all OH YOU Fucking BITCH! Thats not nom noises that PISSED NOISES!
Some people mentioned the norway butter chrise advocate tommy. Imagine his voice coming out of Teddy!
I will come to you House! And I will go to your frisherator, and I will eat your corn in front of you and your family's eyes! And you will scream and cry and say noooo don't eaat all our cooorn, and I will say AH-HA! NOT MY PROBLEM! Then I will take the champagne glass and THROW IT DOWN THE STAIRWAY!
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"I wanna hurry home to you...Put on a slow, dumb show for you and crack you up....So you can put a blue ribbon on my brain.....God, I'm very, very frightening, I'll overdo it...."
Submitted by cocoebert on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 5:14pm.
What happened to Hot Slut of the Year, btw? Was Stains the final straw for some folk or something? Personally, I loved all the drama. Heh.
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I loved Hot Slut of the Year voting drama too. I voted for Banana Jesus at least 50 times, hahahaha
Maybe it's the Baileys' talking, but I love that porcupine. I still love Abandoned Couch and Spaghetti Cat, however. Teddy+Couch+Spaghetti Cat = the Hot Slut Triad.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:35pm.
That rodent is a spoiled little bitch-slut-whore. Those quills stay folded down cuz she knows how to work the youtube vids. :D
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 6:35pm.
...and how do you get a porcupine to let you put a party hat on his ass without it pokin you the fuck up like a pin-cushion?
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A shitload of corn.
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
I feel sorry for Teddy. I mean I guess I feel good for him in a way that he's probably one of few pampered porcupines, but puttin a new years party hat on his ass? Really bitch? That's just animal cruelty, and how do you get a porcupine to let you put a party hat on his ass without it pokin you the fuck up like a pin-cushion?
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"I wanna hurry home to you...Put on a slow, dumb show for you and crack you up....So you can put a blue ribbon on my brain.....God, I'm very, very frightening, I'll overdo it...."
Awright c'mon you sluts. We ALL got that one friend we don't wanna take to da club cause they get all TEDDY PORCUPINE!
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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
Submitted by Sweetas: "...I love how he's all MOVE THAT GLASS I'M TEDDY PORCUPINE *smash*."
ME TOO. I frickin' laughed my head off. That was a very human move.
Teddy bear has beaver teeth. How did that happen?
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 5:58pm.
I'm catching up more but I think what you write is sometimes genius and borderline brilliant even if I don't always agree 100% I think your voice deserves being heard as much as anyone else here. I have mad respect for people who stick to their beliefs and don't fence-sit. :)
"...and the abadoned couch is competing against this slutty foreign midget and a dog with real big eyes and Cynthia Nixon's girlfriemd for the hot slut title..."
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 5:28pm.
I'm sure MK will do Hot Slut of the Year when he gets back from Rome. Team abandoned couch lolololol!
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O he doesn't do that any more becuz of ME! It's becuz I boycotted after that. Ok, not really but that's what I like to think:)
♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden
Submitted by Stoney on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 5:28pm.
I'm sure MK will do Hot Slut of the Year when he gets back from Rome. Team abandoned couch lolololol!
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Ahahahaha!! I had forgotten completely about that!
Can you imagine explaining that to someone who has never been to this site or is familiar with interwebs humor at all- "So, like, there's this old couch no one wants and it's abandoned. And then this car has an accident and it lands on the couch. So the couch saves the people! Get it? Ergo it's a hot slut." Lol
Submitted by DevilsAdvocate on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 5:43pm.
I've no idea who you are, but if you've been following the D for a while you may have seen some posters scoff at and/or attempt to troll me when I criticize the many misogynist tropes which infest this blog like chiggers in a swamp.
It is to those posters that I somewhat jokingly refer when I make snarky comments about people hating me. What they actually hate is being held responsible for whatever oppressive practices they happen to indulge in.
And now back to porcupines, because I don't feel like debating this shit right now.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Porcupines. Looked them up today
Gentle. Solitary Nocturnal.
Not sure on sexual habits, could be slut, but certain good mom
Dlist material
Let's skip all contest
Name this bitch Hot Slut of the Year. Makebitbeasy Ipohinev. Talk
This phone typed for joy Weird
Sick of retyping. IPhoney makes shit up you did not say
You have to waste time correcting
Android better?
Teddy. HOT Slut of Year.
Thanks made it thru
birth of new year
Happy
Absolutely
For no fucking reason
Good to be alive
Thank you creator
Thank you Teddy
Submitted by Honeybadger: "Teddy is a Honeybadger ALT!!"
AH HAHAHAHAHA! Loves it!
Now I must abandon ship and see if CDAN reveals anything worthwhile. (Probably not.)
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 5:39pm.
For you:
This space intentionally left with __L_O_V_E ♥-♥-♥___.
P.S. I saw you say that you thought people hated you here. I don't! I don't! You've never said anything that is deserving of hatred here! I love a lot of your posts. Keep on keep'n on! :D
I'm sure MK will do Hot Slut of the Year when he gets back from Rome. Team abandoned couch lolololol!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by suckandfuck on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 10:57am.
I will come to you house and I will take ALL the buttur from your frisherator and eat it in front of you and you family and you will cry and beg and say "no no! don't eat all our buttur!" and I will say "haha not my prolem!!!"
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My name is tommy and i'm a singer and uh the celebrities and a famous blogger
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I like the word poop
Teddy for hot slut of every day! He's so stinkin cute. I love how he's all MOVE THAT GLASS I'M TEDDY PORCUPINE *smash*.
What happened to Hot Slut of the Year, btw? Was Stains the final straw for some folk or something? Personally, I loved all the drama. Heh.
This space intentionally left blank.
*looks cryptic*
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Submitted by mbar on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 4:03pm.
When the woman says "uh oh" I thought that was him. I was like, "Holy shit, porkypines talk?"
If I was his caretaker, I'd be like, "What's that, Teddy? You ate a whole wheel of cheese? Im not even mad. I'm impressed."
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BWAWAHAHAHAHA! I always say that to my dog and call hm a wise little Buddha or my Little Gentleman and I am going to take him to Foggy Londontown.
I'm a sucker for Anchorman quotes, sue me. Maybe it has to do with something with living in Whale's Vagina.
So okay, I watched that video again and I swear that porcupine said "Marky Mark Mark" and "Fuck off" at least once.
And co-sign on the bitch with the annoying voice.
When the woman says "uh oh" I thought that was him. I was like, "Holy shit, porkypines talk?"
If I was his caretaker, I'd be like, "What's that, Teddy? You ate a whole wheel of cheese? Im not even mad. I'm impressed."
Teddy doesn't give a fuck and says so and that's why I love him! *throwsglassonground*
Looks like Teddy has had too much corn MASH in this video!
What a cute little slut! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g8qUok9BFM
That woman is prettying annoying who cares for Teddy. Like he gives a poop about knocking over a bottle of champagne! And he doesn't wanna share! So, nyah!