Dreamboat Doherty Bought Himself A Very Special Holiday Gift
It's been a while since I've checked up on Pete Doherty and in case you're shooting up with the cold sweats in the middle of the night wondering about him, he's still a fingernail gunk of a mess. The Sun says that Dreamboat was strolling through a flea market in Paris with his girlfriend when his glazed-over eye marbles caught five of the most beautiful things he's ever seen in his entire life: a family of antique crackpipes from the 1930s! I'm sure that moment was like something out of a joint episode between Intervention and Antiques Roadshow. And of course, Dreamy's first question to the dealer was.......
"He loved them and said he would take them all – then asked the guy if the pipes could still be used to smoke with."Pete had a stunning girl on his arm who looked the spit of Kate Moss and he was very friendly, polite and funny."
In Dreamy's defense, he always asks if he can smoke crack out of it before he buys it. That should be everyone's number one rule in life: If you can't smoke out of it, don't waste your money on it! That's why I make sure all the butt plugs I buy can double as a bong.
TBK: Your friend is right, Pete is a sweetie and manages to do pretty well for himself with the ladies. We have mutual friends and I always end up hearing the dirty details.
Personally, I'd have to soak him overnight, first.
He HAS TO be paying that beauty on his arm..... no other fucking logical answer!
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Submitted by Foreskin Salsa on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 2:32am.
I wonder if his nails are dirty from scratching his head or his ass?
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HAHAHAHA!
Dude's partying is starting to show on his face. Even as skanky as he is, I thought he was hot back when Cocaine Kate was with him. Now? With his greezy, thinning hair and those rat dung infested nails, he looks like he probably smells. RANK.
But he did once look good in a rumpled designer suit.
I'll still defend the guy and say he's one hell of a song writer and lyricist, I'm a huge Babyshambles fan.
Here is a nice soulful acoustic version of Lost Art Of Murder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DynOaY8hmHc
BootsieBug:
I have a new one, but it is too long to post here. MK might stab me with a chopstick!
And it is colder than Leona Helmsley in Beijing, but warm down south in Hong Kong, so I would like to leave here ASAP and be able to wear flip flops and tank tops ASAP.
And of course there are photos. Buy the book! ;)
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Say something nice... well, I like his iphone case.
TB, you wouldn't by chance have a picture of said ass would you?? ha
You have the most exciting life and I am so jealous! Love reading about your Heaux exploits, so keep em coming.
*has secret crush on Breaky*
BootsieBug:
That entire story is truly SINsational. He fell in love with her ass! I still have deducted cool points from her for sharing her breastasses and other 200 parts with him, although she says that he really is a sweetie.
But what HIGH crackhead isn't?!
And I WAS going to Hong Kong today, but I missed my train so I am in Beijing for two more days!
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 5:26am.
So one of my dance partners tricked it with Pete a while back and all I gotta say is...
"I hope he didn't finger her!"
Reads Breaky's post and hurls up the morning pot of coffee! how horrifying!
Hey TB, how goes it? What country are you currently in?
*can never keep your jaunts straight*
So one of my dance partners tricked it with Pete a while back and all I gotta say is...
"I hope he didn't finger her!"
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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When I am feeling a bit low and think my nails need a touch up, I will forever remember this pic...
God. If you get drunkenly fingered (and I can't think of any other way) by PD, you'd wake up in a stupor and thing you had the Black Plauge!
Wash your hands, douchebag.
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GERONIMO!
"I think the nails add to his very sexy, "fuck it" attitude. I definitely would. And he would wif me."
I dont know if u are kidding or ure mental. Would u like him to finger u with those nails?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2081881/Lady-Gaga-favour-sa...
I bet when they say "spit of Kate Moss" they are being literal.
I think the nails add to his very sexy, "fuck it" attitude. I definitely would. And he would wif me.
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I LOVE CARTWHEELS
Only by looking at his nails, it makes me puke.
I wonder if his nails are dirty from scratching his head or his ass?
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 11:29pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 9:58pm.
Right now we got an Iowa nail-biter (ewwww!) between Santorum and Romney, with McCain endorsing Romney a tad prematurely. Can the nuclear holocaust destroy these candidates?? Is it strong enough??
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It's all academic, because they have no chance of winning. Sit back with some popcorn and enjoy the show. If you need me, I'll be in a foreign country where nobody gives a crap about what the Republicans are doing.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
I'll say the same thing I said the first time MK posted this pic: Just looking at him gives me a UTI.
Dreamboat should have bought himself five bars of soap. Christ almighty he might have worms living in his fingernails.
a crack kit from the 30s?? only doherty could dig this shit up...
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Photoshop must've been put on the Endangered Species list after the Lindsay Playboy spread depleted the system. But, that's no excuse for that hand grime. There's not much a gallon of bleach, a tank of GoJO, some gasoline (and a match if necessary) can't fix.
Why did my mind automatically go to the image of a finger fuck? Not that I was turned on by it, but I went there.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 9:58pm.
Right now we got an Iowa nail-biter (ewwww!) between Santorum and Romney, with McCain endorsing Romney a tad prematurely. Can the nuclear holocaust destroy these candidates?? Is it strong enough??
Can somebody chop his damn fingers off so we won't have to look at them ever again?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Post apocalyptic survivors? Will this show be hosted by Jeff Probst?
I vote that dreamboat's charred Dirty Nails!!! will be the only thing left of his skeletal ashes. They will be found clutching onto the last cockroach (he was going to eat it) and it will be torn out of their grip by a catfight of Kardassians and Hohans.
I took my classic crackpipes to Antique Roadshow the last time it came to town, and those rat bastards called the police, who said I had crackpipes and was going to jail. No matter how many times I told them that I'd bought them as antiques in a Parisian flea market, they kept going on about paraphernalia and possession and all that trash. Some people just don't appreciate cultural relics.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 9:58pm.
Rush Limbaugh :(
The nails are pretty gross but I've had nails like that after working on my car engine. Try using some soap once in a while!
In the fallout of the nuclear apocalypse that's going to occur in December 2012 (cuz the Mayans said so), there will be few survivors...cockroaches, Petey, and Lindsay Lohan.
Who ya got?
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
*looks at The Nails!!! runs away to vomit*
Ok,wtf it looks like he woke up, climbed out of the bottom of the portapotty he sleeps in and dressed up in a new designer suit. Who does this shit? For what purpose? Why bother getting dressed?
The other thing are those fecal nails. I can't. It take about 17 seconds to just dig under with a qtip and rinse. WHYYYY??!! *takes rain-main-set-off ocd meds* Let me walk away and watch a horror film to rid my optical transference of that which I fucking will not speak of shit under his shit.
*walks away repeating the stations of the cross
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
Smegma is all I can say about this dirty bitch....smegma
At this point you'd think Dreamy would have thought up his own shamWOW! patented crack-pipe now. WHAT THE SHIT IS TAKING HIM SO LONG???
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
Someone tell him he can snort bath salts, you won't be able to keep him out of the shower then.
What is this about him and Kate and some penguins?
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
Welcome back, Michael. You were very missed.
Amen.
@dog lol! Btw you always have the best doggies in your avi
thank you for coming home. the fill ins were wonderful and all, but...
thank you for coming home!
"...[HAPPY HOLIDAYZZ!! HERE'S] something out of a joint episode between Intervention and Antiques Roadshow.."
This is my new Holiday Card phrase come December 2012.
The fk you guys up too? Sloshed is where I'z at. Happy 2012, again, y'allzzz.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
Pete Doherty will never die. He was animated by the same necromancer who is responsible for Keith Richards.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
lmfao @ "oil rig chic". Every time I see a pic of Pete I think of CTH. Even though she's a lovely CLEAN blond lol
If you only look in the eyeball region, he doesn't look half bad.
But then thairs the browning rodent teefs, the sweaty stinky hair. The black French manicure is so . . . oil rig chic.
They didn't have crack in the '30s, but they had cocaine, weed, opium. You know, the basics.
.
.
UGH those NAILS!! *heebiethemuthafuckjeebies*
Those are heroin chic fingernails.
Submitted by christine the hoff: "AWWW Pete!
What are you doing now?"
Hoff, this made me explode with laughter. I don't know why. Maybe because of your avvie.
I guessed soap and water. but I guessed wrong ....
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 5:08pm.
There was no such thing as crack in the 1930s...
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But they had opium. Thiis gross-ass mofo bought opium pipes, not crack pipes. He's a heroin junkie.
And judging by the looks of his nails, I am scared to think how is balls and taint are.
How come he isn't dead yet?