More Like Mountain Ewwww
An Illinois man threw a lawsuit at PepsiCo back in 2009, because he says that he found a dead mouse in a can of Mountain Dew. If you're wondering how can a mouse get into a can of Mountain Dew, just remind your ass that somehow Xtina squeezes into a bandage dress that is six sizes too small. Anything can happen. The mouse-finder claims he sent the can and the dead mouse to Pepsi, but after testing it they destroyed it. But Pepsi's defense is that there's no way the dude could find a whole dead mouse in the can, because Mountain Dew is so toxically disgusting that it can melt an entire mouse including its bones. Well, the good news is that Parasite Hilton finally found something to melt the warts on her pussy that have grown furry faces and have started to bark. The Atlantic Wire puts it like this:
Most shudder-worthy, however, is that Pepsi's lawyers also found experts to testify, based on the state of the remains sent to them, that "the mouse would have dissolved in the soda had it been in the can from the time of its bottling until the day the plaintiff drank it," according to the Record. (It would have become a "jelly-like substance," according to Pepsi, adds LegalNewsline.)
I'd be surprised if there wasn't bits of mouse jelly in every can of Mountain Dew. That is a marketing point for their asses. Mountain Dew: Now with more protein! Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.
But seriously, only trash drinks Mountain Dew (cut to you sipping a Sanka with a splash of Dew). Any refined soda-ie only sips from a vintage Cactus Cooler can.
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+-+Anyone who drinks that shit deserves to get a mouse in it. Most of 'em look at it as dinner.
Why do I suddenly get the urge to give my SodaStream machine a hug? =o)
Good to know it also contains a flame retardant banned in Europe & Japan... love me some diet Mtn. Dew... releasing it with love...:^D
http://www.alternet.org/food/153638/Why_You_May_Be_Drinking_Soda_That_Co...
I don't freaking care. I love soda so much. Mountain dew is one of my favorites, but I don't drink it every day. I usually have Gatorade or a nice big pitcher o' Koolaid. I cannot drink water by itself and have no intentions of trying. Mountain Dew is ok if you have it only a little bit.
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If you wanna be in black and white, black and white's gotta be IN YOU!
Why do I feel like there's a Richard Gere joke in here, somewhere.
ugh I gotta stop drinking Diet Coke. One day at a time... :-(
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Sounds to me like the guy has seen Strange Brew one too many times.
http://youtu.be/GsgVspgy184
Oops - duplicate
Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 11:24am.
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Try this one, dumb ass. Oops, that should be DUMM GESASS...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanta_orange
Wow. A Canadian knows more about Germany than a German. I guess kicking your asses two world wars in a row made us a more well-rounded nation.
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Name Deleted: Me, too. I really liked that movie. It's funny. Where is that idiot? I just went to the Tattoo Boy thread (where ba-buttns got all hoity toity) and didn't see.
I'm a soda addict. I get cranky after a few days without it. Its a new year and I plan on starting fresh.
*drinks 3rd root beer of the day*
My uncle found a dead baby mouse inside a can of RC cola back in the 60's. Someone else I know said they found a larger mouse inside a can of Dr Pepper once, went to drink it and couldn't cause the can was more full of mouse than it was cola. Neither one of the mice they found had turned to goo already, ewww.. But people who have worked at both Pepsi and Coca-cola bottling plants have told me that mice will run across the cans & bottles late at night when they're in storage so they said to make sure you ALWAYS was the tops of your cans off first before drinking them. Gross.
This is from a few towns over from me and if this dude's like the rest of the inhabitants of the town, the mouse prolly sprung from his own asshole and tried to free itself into the Mt. Dew can. Not the most intelligent group of people.
I really keep trying to get my boyfriend off soda, he has it in the car on the way to work every day...sooo gross. Coffee isn't good for you, but it is better for you than soda, especially diet sodas.
I was a major soda addict till about 2 years ago. I would drink coke from the time I got up to when I went to bed; sometimes i would feel so sluggish at the end of the day and know it was all those calories and sugar I was taking in. I hate straight water, so I tried the crystal light drink mixes and haven't since touched sodas again. I just think about all that sugar I was drinking all day, every day!
Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 11:53am.
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Thanks Das! That's another great tip! I'm just used to having flavor or carbonation.
Topanga, have you tried Fruit Falls? I don't like Capri-sun or Roaring Waters. I mainly drink water but if I need something flavored in a small amount I get a Fruit Falls. It's in a pouch like Capri-Sun and it's Minute Maid brand.
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Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK
When will people realize that drinking soda is basically like drinking btatery acid. The stuff is sooo bad for you. I quit drinking it back in high-school, my face and skin cleared up and I immediately felt healthier. Unfortunately, I'm now addicted to sugary fruit juices like Hi-C and Capri-Sun lol
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Submitted by ethang on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 11:42am.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 11:19am.
Ethang, try seltzer water. No fat or calories or sugar, and BONUS! No sodium, unlike club soda.
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Thanks! That's a great suggestion.
^^^^^^^
You can flavor it with just a few drops of juice!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by ethang on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 11:14am.
I'm desperately trying to give up Diet Coke but dammit I can't drink water ...
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My solution is sirup. Not the suggested mixing ratio but just a few drops to aromatize the tap water. And not the cheap kiddie sirup. There are all kinds of fancy "adult" sirups like lemongrass or lime. The good ones are not cheap but with that dosage behavior still cheaper than to satisfy your thirst with nothing but soda pops.
It's not just way healthier than soda pop but it helped me to get to the 2 liters water a day which is the reference daily intake minimum for an adult according to health authorities, yet most everyone drinks less because tap water tastes like ... well, nothing.
And must i even mention how healthy it is to meet the minimum drinking intake of 2 liters per day by only drinking shit that would break down a dead mouse into jelly?!
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
And I use to LOVE drinking the Dew.
*reason number one to give up all sodas in the new year*
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Not a soda story, but a mouse story. When I was a kid, my dad opened a jar of artichoke hearts and found a mouse in it. He wrote the company and they sent us a case of artichoke hearts. This was before people sued companies for shit like that.
As much as I love Coke, I detest Mountain Dew.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 11:19am.
Ethang, try seltzer water. No fat or calories or sugar, and BONUS! No sodium, unlike club soda.
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Thanks! That's a great suggestion.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:49am.
They say Fanta Orange was the favourite soft drink of the Nazis.
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Who are "they" cause they are stupid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanta#History
Fanta does originate from the 3rd reich. Then again who thinks drinking vodka is a political statement or turns you into a communist?
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
I can't drink any soda, especially diet sodas, the Nutrasweet is a migraine trigger. If a drink can be poured into your toilet and clean it, imagine what it'll do to your stomach. Besides, diet soda doesn't really make you lose weight.
Years ago, there was a Dateline special that followed people around trying to kick caffeine, I will never forget this one lady who drank a 12pk of Pepsi everyday and how she started yelling at the camera crew and her co-workers 6 hours into withdraw. Funny shit.
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Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK
Ethang, try seltzer water. No fat or calories or sugar, and BONUS! No sodium, unlike club soda.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I'm desperately trying to give up Diet Coke but dammit I can't drink water or milk with greasy foods like pizza, a burrito or burgers. It's been a rough battle.
Well now. That would explain why I get raging heartburn everytime I try to drink the Dew.
I detest Mtn. Dew.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:49am.
They say Fanta Orange was the favourite soft drink of the Nazis.
^^^^^^^^^^
More proof that those psychos were crazier than shithouse rats.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Mt. Dew and Dr. Pepper have the most caffine out of any of the other soda's out there.
(excluding Jolt)
AH, remember the days when Dr. Pepper was still made with prune juice?
I will never again question why I do not drink soda.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:49am.
They say Fanta Orange was the favourite soft drink of the Nazis.
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I did not know that.
The shit's the BOMB! lol!
Almost all the pop/soda on the market has high fructose corn syrup and sooo many other harmful ingredients in it... fuck that shit.. talk about killin yourself softly. . Ill just stick to my flouride filled poison water thankyouverymuch!
ick. nast. tag taking the day off?
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:45am.
Actually it's a Fizzy drink, oh kay?
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Lol! This reminds me of this crazy, pitbull of an instructor we had in boot camp. He was from Cape Breton and had a wicked strong accent. In the rare moment when he would let us go to the canteen, he would SCREAM at us;
"Alright you fuckin' numpty pieces of shit!! If I see any fuckin' NUTTY BARS or CRUNCHY CHIPS or fuckin' FIZZY POP in the barracks I WILL DRIVE YOU INTO THE GROUND LIKE A FUCKIN' SPIKE!!!"
*sigh* good times, good times...
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Name Deleted: Me, too. I really liked that movie. It's funny. Where is that idiot? I just went to the Tattoo Boy thread (where ba-buttns got all hoity toity) and didn't see.
Test.
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:36am.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:29am.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:26am.
I love how Americans call it SODA! lol.
It's called POP dammit!
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Only if your name is Bubba and you wear overalls and your mother is also your sister, dude.
Hahahaha! Here in the dirty south, it's called "Coke" no matter what flavor it is. As in "what kind of Coke do you want?" "Dr. Pepper, duh."
This woman speaks the truth. It is ALL called Coke, even Pepsi products. When you buy it out of a machine, you say "Anybody want something from the Coke machine?" That's just the way it is. When people call it pop my eye twitches a little bit.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
I had a college roommate who was from Kentucky and I swear that trick would have a Moutain Dew in her hand every second of the day. We made a $200 bet that she couldn't go a day without drinking Mt.Dew. I swear it was like watching someone go through heroin withdrawl...bitch was shaking and shit...she didn't even last til lunch.
She said where she lived in Kentucky (near the Appalachian Mountains) people start drinking Dew (that's what she called it) when they're like 1 or 2....no wonder her teeth were horrible and it stank after she peed...ugh after living with her for a year I have a distinct HATE for Mt.Dew.
If i'd be the judge i'd reject the lawsuit on account that if you drink this chemical shit it is entirely reasonable you drink pureed dead mouse - which is, concerning the ingredients, probably a more healthy alternative.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
Submitted by Hellraiser on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:23am.
I need a support group to get off it though. It's like green liquid cocaine. *swigs Dew from aluminum can*
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You can do it, little by little. First just try cutting down. Maybe try substituting at first with something less sugary. It's not easy but just like smoking, it's worth kicking the habit. I was a huge coca cola addict years ago, now I won't touch the stuff.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:26am.
I LOVED Fanta Orange...reminds me of playing baseball as a kid.
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They say Fanta Orange was the favourite soft drink of the Nazis.
Coca-Cola was huge in pre-war Germany but a trade embargo cut off the supply. Hitler ordered German industry to come up with a replacement to prevent a blow to public morale. Apparently, the Fanta "cola" was awful but everybody loved Fanta Orange and the rest is history...
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Name Deleted: Me, too. I really liked that movie. It's funny. Where is that idiot? I just went to the Tattoo Boy thread (where ba-buttns got all hoity toity) and didn't see.
If you're a Conner (Dan and Roseanne) you call it "sodey".
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:26am.
I love how Americans call it SODA! lol.
It's called POP dammit!
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Actually it's a Fizzy drink, oh kay?
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
@ba-buttons
I remember Tahiti Treat. Never drank it much. My faves were root beer and cream soda.
When I was 14, my friend and neighbor who was 6 years older than me worked for Pepsi. We used to go cruising in her white Fury III with a 6-pack of Dew and a plastic bottle of vodka. We'd pour out some soda, and pour in the vodka. Then we'd hit the mall and try on a bunch of clothes that we had no intention of buying. Good times!
I used to like Jolt! Cola. Now my stomach is effed up, and even a little soda hurts.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by ditquoi - New Englanders call it "tonic"
? Maybe octogenarians in Massachusetts, but it's soda for everyone I know. Or in my family, we lovingly refer to it as a can of crap...
New Englanders call it "tonic"
@ Whamo - it's always been Pop here in Michigan.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:29am.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:26am.
I love how Americans call it SODA! lol.
It's called POP dammit!
^^^^^^^^
Only if your name is Bubba and you wear overalls and your mother is also your sister, dude.
Hahahaha! Here in the dirty south, it's called "Coke" no matter what flavor it is. As in "what kind of Coke do you want?" "Dr. Pepper, duh."
This is why I only drink the high brow stuff - Dr. Pepper.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 9:26am.
I love how Americans call it SODA! lol.
It's called POP dammit!
^^^^^^^^
Only if your name is Bubba and you wear overalls and your mother is also your sister, dude.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I love how Americans call it SODA! lol.
It's called POP dammit!
Anyone remember when they use to print jokes on the inside bottom of Fanta cans? I remember the hillbilly jokes in the MD cans but when I was a kid Fanta use to do it too.
I LOVED Fanta Orange...reminds me of playing baseball as a kid.