Chaz Bono Is Saving Up For A Peen
Chaz Bono's former fiancee wasn't looking forward to putting her mouth over a peen instead of a poon, but now that she's gone he can freely chase after his dick-getting dreams. But first, Chaz has to fill his peen fund with enough dollars to pay for the surgery. Chaz tells Rolling Stone that he's already picked out a doctor in Belgrade and all he needs is around $45,000 to take his down low parts from clit to cock. Chaz broke it down, and yes, my eyeballs bungeed out of their sockets and hit the screen after I read that his shiny new dick could be Tommy Lee-sized.
"I could get a phalloplasty, which builds the phallus from a donor site on your body," he says straightforwardly, "but I'm leaning more toward a metoidioplasty. It's a procedure that uses what you already have down there" – he means his clitoris – "which has grown larger from the testosterone. You end up with a smaller phallus than with the phalloplasty, but it's fully functional, it gets erect, and the sensation is all there."Does he know how big it's going to be?
He frowns. "You know, I don't really. I mean, I've never seen one erect. So it's really hard to say. But, you know, soft, probably about three inches, and it grows considerably. I don't know what the average size difference is, but when I'm having sex I probably get three or four times larger." He pauses. "I was in a fairly typical heterosexual relationship, which caused some militant members of the queer community to think I'm reinforcing stereotypes or whatever. Anyway, I think Jen wished I wouldn't get the bottom done, but she understood my need to." He shrugs. "You have to understand, though, for me the life transformation has already happened."
I don't know if it was Chaz or another transman who said that he wasn't touching his bottom area yet, because the recovery from the surgery is as painful as getting fucked in the pee hole with a hot screw and the dick doesn't even work that well anyway.
I read a while ago that some new dicks can only get fully erect with the help of a pump. That would kind of suck. You're like, "Get ready, bitch, this rock hard fat dick is going to fuck you into another religion! Hold onto your nipples cause they're gonna pop off from the fuck quake I'm about to hit you with. We're going to break the Richter Scale tonight! Are you ready? Oh wait, can you grab that bike pump out of the closet..." (<---- That's pretty much the dialogue heard in Hugh Hefner's room every night.) But I'm glad to hear from Chaz that this doesn't seem to be the case anymore. I'm also glad to hear that Chaz's peen will be able to grow naturally and then some!
I mean, it's been a while since I've failed grade school math, but three times four equals twelve, right? Chaz can get himself a 12 inch salchicha dick? Chaz says that he will never ask Cher for the money since he wants to do this own his own, but I say, STOP IT! When it comes to getting a 12-inch dick, all pride for independence should fly out of the window. Just get that 12-inch dick, Chaz! Seriously, if Chaz gets hit by a bus tomorrow, wouldn't he want to be hit while having a 12-inch dick? I don't even see Chaz's lips moving and I can tell that he's fighting to say the word YAAAASSSSS!
Hell, Cher is so rich that she can buy everyone a 12 incher. She could be like the Oprah of 12-inch dicks. You get a 12-inch dick and you get a 12-inch dick! I'll take one. My arm is getting so tired from hitting the snooze button 50 times every morning, so it would be nice to be able to hit that button with my new 1 footer.
And Google tells me that Chaz will still have an orgasm, but won't be able to ejaculate. Those surgeons should try to fix that problem. Can't they install jizz sacks down? Flavored ones? That would really be the best and I'd get that. Can you imagine if you had flavored jizz? That would be a priceless pick-up tool. Think about it. You're at the cream bar at Starbucks when some hot piece mutters to himself, "Ugh, they're out of hazelnut." You wink inside knowing you've got this, grab his cup and fiddle with a few knobs on your nutsack before you quickly shoot out a stream of hazelnut deliciousness. That would be a beautiful story to tell everyone on your wedding day.
(Image via Out Magazine)
• 
Sucky, thank's for introducing me to Buck Angel, you pig.
I am glad that Chaz is becoming the person he wants to be. Everyone deserves to be content with their lives BUT please stop foisting shots of your obese body at us. Stop trying to pose as a stud and get to a healthy weight. Why get the cock of your dreams of you're only gonna die of a massive heart attack.
She is always going to be missing that Y chromosome.
10-second rant:
I don't think anyone who was an attention whore would go so far as to cut their breasts off and take testosterone. Usually, it's just the opposite.
In fact, Chastity was a cute girl and she could have totally gone plastic surgery like her mother and rode on her coattails and I betchya [Palinism and it stays] that Cher would have totally embraced Chastity as a newer version of herself.
Chastity rejected all of that. Completely. Wholesale. She hated her identity as a female and lived as a lipstick lesbian for a while before fully coming to terms with her own need to be a male.
Has anyone studied her chromosome profile? She could in fact be chromosomally male.
I don't think Chaz is a freak by any stretch but I do think she is an embarrassment because she is not the healthiest (both mentally and physically) person to be representing the transgender people of this world.
Then again. Show me anyone who claims to be perfect and mentally healthy and I'll show you a LIAR!
>:D
Submitted by Satan on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:08am.
Submitted by letinstar on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:06am.
is this a trick question?
----
That's a 7th circle of hell type of question. There is NEVER a good answer.
----------------------------------------------
word...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
"I hope his anus is perfect." - Submitted by Vulvalicious on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:15am.
and THIS will be the best thing we all read today.
-------------------------------------------------
Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
WHAT'S GROSSER THAN GROSS?
@Sweetas - no taking the easy way out for you!
@cake coke and cock - For God's sake, THINK OF THE TITS!!!!
@louise_brooks - thanks for the tip. I will look for that movie!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Ahahahaha @ cc&c's boob query! *cue Jeopardy music*
Deb, I guess LeAnn. There would be lots of liquor and weed involved, right?
It is quite difficult for anyone to remain sane, functional, and sober while struggling with a body image issue. Other than the GID, there are probably other mental disorders present, as suggested by you all.
I hope his anus is perfect. No hemorrhoids or anything. That might make the difference. Also, I can't stop thinking of ChynaDick and I wonder if the mega-clit orgasms are stronger or weaker...
Submitted by Foreskin Salsa on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:09am.
I've always been meaning to ask you: Did Christianity invent you or did you invent Christianity?
----
The egg omelet came before the Chicken Mcnugget.
Does that help? ;)
I'm laughing at the responses over here!
It's just that both are repugnant born-females at opposite sides of the weight scale.
I just wondered who would be less repugnant. I would have to go with LeAnn myself.
I guess the lesson is that LeAnn hould alway pose with Chaz!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I'd go with LeAnne, just because I'm not sure this is legal, and of course, for the sanctity of tits being tits until they die. Cheers!
-------------------------------------------------
Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:49am.
Yes, Michael Imperioli and Adrian Brody definitely have that ugly pretty thing happening. The untraditionally handome guys are always more interesting to me. They have to develop their character instead of relying on looks.
Have you ever seen Summer of Sam? They are both in it. Adrian Brody is a punk rock gay for pay male stripper and Michael Imperioli works the front of the strip club.
Submitted by Satan on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:08am.
I've always been meaning to ask you: Did Christianity invent you or did you invent Christianity?
lol Deb is gouge my eyes out with a fork an option?
Submitted by letinstar on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:06am.
is this a trick question?
----
That's a 7th circle of hell type of question. There is NEVER a good answer.
Deb, I'd take LeAnn. Oh the things I could do with a Sharpie on ANY pic of her!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:56am.
Survey time! Who's picture would you rather be forced to stare at: Chaz or LeAnn Rimes?
---------------------------------------
is this a trick question?
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:03am.
@deb
I take LeAnn. I can imagine playing the xylophone on that washboard chestplate of hers to make the time pass.
====
LOL! Great image!
i really, really, really don't want to see chaz sans shirt...
what did he do with his dwts money?
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
@deb
I take LeAnn. I can imagine playing the xylophone on that washboard chestplate of hers to make the time pass.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:56am.
Survey time! Who's picture would you rather be forced to stare at: Chaz or LeAnn Rimes?
----
HEY. I thought I was SATAN but that was just downright evil, Deb!
That's like asking someone if they prefer horse shit over cow shit. C'mon, man!
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:56am.
Survey time! Who's picture would you rather be forced to stare at: Chaz or LeAnn Rimes?
===
LeAnn
(Dog said)"Oh, FFS! Just stop already! Why do you think anyone cares what you're doing? You are NOT a role model to transgenders. You're a joke."
--------------
Agree. It's not so much the moobs, or the belly or the mechanics of transitioning f to m that makes me uncomfortable..heck I'm fine with being who you are. It's the pathology of the behavior I find striking with Chaz. Under the guise of "championing a cause," there's a grandiosity in his behavior that smacks of bipolar disorder.
Has he had a full hysterectomy? (curious)I'm wondering if he's menopausal; hence the weight. There has to be one hell of a synthetic hormonal nightmare in that body. I'm certain it's the culprit for at least half the weight issue.
I also agree that the weight needs to go before any more major surgery. That is not a healthy person. U.S. doctors probably won't do the surgery due to the obesity.
Fair is foul and foul is fair..
Survey time! Who's picture would you rather be forced to stare at: Chaz or LeAnn Rimes?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by cake coke and cock on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:50am.
Is anyone else bothered that these are tits? I mean, stapled down and lipoed to an early death sure, but they're tits, right? I mean should they be censored? ARE THEY STILL TITS?? Consequently, what makes a tit a tit?
---▫Vanity, definitely my favorite sin▫---
Milk ducts and boner bringers.
These tits are definitely boner killers.
Chaz own's like 2 upscale restaurants in Long Beach/Los Angeles, CA area
Submitted by cake coke and cock on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:50am.
Is anyone else bothered that these are tits? I mean, stapled down and lipoed to an early death sure, but they're tits, right? I mean should they be censored? ARE THEY STILL TITS?? Consequently, what makes a tit a tit?
-----------------------------------
LMAO! It's nice to know that someone is higher than I am! Cheers!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Is anyone else bothered that these are tits? I mean, stapled down and lipoed to an early death sure, but they're tits, right? I mean should they be censored? ARE THEY STILL TITS?? Consequently, what makes a tit a tit?
-------------------------------------------------
Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
PSL, right? I liked Bobby. He was almost loveable the way he babysat Uncle Junior. And poor guy, he was the only one Tony could give shit to about being fat, since he was the only one fatter than him.
I still get tingly in my girly part when I see Michael Imperioli (Christahfuh) in the 1800 Tequila commercials. HUGE beak. Hot as hell. Kinda like Adrian Brody.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
A belly that big, how is Chas going to see a 3-inch penis, let alone pleasure herself?
I don't see how she wipes her ass or trims/shaves herself down there.
Fucking a donkey sounds more appealing... bigger dick, less belly!
_____________________________________
Michelle Obama: 'I Kind Of Like' Being Called Your Excellency.”
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:08am.
Submitted by Foreskin Salsa on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 8:58am.
Disgusting fuck freak...
=============
Says the homophobe named Foreskin Salsa.
====
I am not homophobic at all and it has nothing to do with homophobia. I simply have never thought that surgically altering one's body when it is not medically necessary is a healthy option.
Deb, yes! Chaz would make a great Baccala!
***********************************************
It’s so funny how we don’t talk anymore
It’s so funny why we don’t talk anymore
But it ain’t losing sleep
And I ain’t counting sheep.
It’s so funny how we don’t talk anymore.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:16am.
45K is pocket change to the bigger tabloids who I'm sure will jump like rabid dogs at a bone for the exclusive.
-----------------------------------------
Pun intended? LOL!
God, if only HBO would bring back "The Sopranos", Chaz would easily have a role as Big Pussy's (how ironic) or Bobby Baccala's son.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
If Chaz didn't want anyone ragging on her, maybe she should have kept all the shit PRIVATE and not constantly blabbing about how she's mutilating her body.
*POW POW BAM!* MJT. xo
DO NOT PUT YOUR BALLS ON MY FACE UNLESS I'M SUCKING YOUR COCK! M.E. 07/11/11
Submitted by Who Cares on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:23am.
Freak? Yes. Degrees in Math and Natural Sciences? Yes and yes. You probably think being gay is a choice too, right?
**************************************************************
You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by Who Cares on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:23am.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:14am.
Some of you who are calling him a freak and that "she will never be a he" need to do some research and a little bit of learning. But I guess ignorance is bliss...right?
Or maybe you are the freak who slept through science and medical school. She is and will be always a she. Add a cock remove a cock does not change the fucking sex of a person. Good God, children.
-----------------------------------------------------
….and you went to which medical school? Let me guess, you don't have to but everyones else does, right derp?
YUCK and yet, some gold-digging piece is probably already out there planning her famewhore moves on this hunk of manliness. Normally, I enjoy watching a man shave his face but not this time.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:14am.
Some of you who are calling him a freak and that "she will never be a he" need to do some research and a little bit of learning. But I guess ignorance is bliss...right?
Or maybe you are the freak who slept through science and medical school. She is and will be always a she. Add a cock remove a cock does not change the fucking sex of a person. Good God, children.
"Freak is so much more appropriate if she wants to change her sex"
You know that on the inside people can have all kinds of combinations of chromosones, male and female. We are all male and female to varying degrees.
The traditional male and female segregations are societal for people like you who need very simple concepts in order to feel comfortable.
Go and buy a peen if you want to Chaz Bono, it's your body.
45K is pocket change to the bigger tabloids who I'm sure will jump like rabid dogs at a bone for the exclusive.
Chaz should invest that $45k into a weight loss program. That belly is beyond disgusting.
Chaz should invest that $45k into a weight loss program. That belly is beyond disgusting.
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 9:42am.
It's kind of hard to mind your own business when celebs are running around talking about it to anyone who will listen. However, I agree with everything else you said.
Some of you who are calling him a freak and that "she will never be a he" need to do some research and a little bit of learning. But I guess ignorance is bliss...right?
**************************************************************
You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
If Chazz wants to be an American guy all he has to do it is watch sports wearing a sleeveless shirt with his hands behind his head smiling and frowning at the same time- to many this is all you need, show off your body hair and put a look on your face like you’ve just climbed Mount Rushmore and expect the world to kiss your ass for it. He could say the words “pubic hair” and giggle like a suffocating seagull for 20 minutes. He can drink beeer while watching the gaaame while farting and burping and laughing about it like a duh duh baby. Chazz could drone endlessly about sports, cars and sex- this is all about keeping those “I am just a guy” boundaries intact.
All this can work unless he is more interested in becoming a MAN instead of a guy, i.e. not just going for the most shallow easy aspects of masculinity and amplifying them because you at far too lazy to do anything else (developing a strong body, mind, soul).
From the pic above I can tell what direction he will go in though…
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 9:42am.
I find it really strange, not that chaz wants to change his gender but that STRANGERS actually get upset and mad about it. Who the eff are any of you to judge someone and what they want to do to THEIR body! Live your life and stay out of other people's lives. There's a huge epidemic going on this planet that people can't mind their own fukcing business!
=========
I'm still stunned that the above came from Jimmy Bocca. Who knew?
And fine, we can crack on Chaz, but I am finding some of the comments here more disgusting than Chaz's belly (his stomach doesn't gross me out, I'm getting that from other comment on this thread).
Submitted by Foreskin Salsa on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 8:58am.
Disgusting fuck freak...
=============
Says the homophobe named Foreskin Salsa.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 9:56am.
I was wondering the same thing? Chaz doesn't even have 45k?
And can't find a doctor in the US? I don't get going to Serbia to get this done. That just reminds me of all the celebs getting bootleg plastic surgery in Brazil.