"HA! HA! HA! Snookitina Eat You Now!"
Farm fresh foolery thickened the air at NBC's Winter Press Tour in L.A. last night when the hos from The Voice came out looking like eight degrees of MESS.
We've got Xtina whose titties could use a pep talk and a shot of Prozac, because they look like they're slowly sliding down into a deep depression. Sad chichis are sad. Then we've got Cee-Lo whose goatee makes him look like the evil fat midget baby of a T-Rex and Genghis Khan. Then there's Adam Levine and his piece who look like they should be playing a game of patty cake with their flap jackets. And finally, there's Blake Shelton and Slappy the Dummy Carson Daly making my gay gene shrivel down into the shape of a shrieking vulva by hugging on each other like that.
A MESS! Which button do I press to turn my chair the other way?
• 
"To me, Sally Struthers seems like the kind of party girl who goes to a crowded bar by herself, guzzles down Singapore Sling after Singapore Sling and dances like the wild wild woman she is to Paradise By The Dashboard Light before passing out after last call in a dark booth in the back."
OMFG!! It's like MK's been watching the security cameras in my hometown bar. That's some straight up Midwest townie bar shit right there!
evim şahane-20 dakika izle-chat-20 dakika-evim şahane-evim şahane-evim şahane
Cee Low green left his boyfriend at home? hahahahhah
Wow - how do you have all that money and still manage to look like a 50 year old drag queen? Bitch clean up your act while you still can.
"I say this with pride: I have never heard a single Cee-Lo tune past that Gnarls Barkley(sp?) tune that came out years ago. And it is moments like that, that I am thankful the busted-ass radio in the car only picked up the pretentious Ann Arbor indie station."
--> This would only make sense if Cee-Lo wasn't a musical genius, but he is. And you are missing out.
YUCK!!
Carson Daly looks like Deathzilla, who-what-when-where-why and how the fuck is he still in this industry?!!? JEEEZUS!! Since hate is a strong word, I'm just going to say I wish he was dead.
In my opinion - the platinum blonde hair and dramatic dark red lips are already done (and done very well) by Gwen Stefani -- she owns it hands down.
"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
If *I* were a manager and I had the choice to take on new talent or try to fix up Xtina, I would rather take a new talent that was as talented as her, because although she has a base, it has significantly dwindled, because she doesn't know where the hell she wants to go!
She has dipped her musical chops in several genres after her first album, and changed her looks just as much. The problem is she wants to be a sexpot, but is too lazy to do the work necessary to maintain that status.
If you want to be DIRRRTY, *fine*. Be as filthy as you wanted to be little skank, but while doing so, be able to fit into the size 2 clothes you are wearing.
She needs a makeUNDER, to become a Weight Watchers spokeswoman, and then make an album of timeless ballads with a few mid-tempo tracks thrown in...
THAT is what I would do with her ass.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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I think that Christina could be re-marketed, with a lot of work, because she does have the voice for it. I don't think the jig is up for her yet.
BUT, it would take a while, and she needs to get off the booze and other substances (really hope those aren't track marks, but I think Dgrin is right) and pay attention to her son. Nothing people love more than a good comeback story.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by Dgrin on Sun, 01/08/2012 - 2:07am.
umm..am i the only one who sees heroine tracks and bruises on her arms covered up with make-up or is this just fake tanning gone wrong?
http://www.dlisted.com/node/44635/images/FP_8374237_NBCTour_KMFF_06_94.j...
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OMG I think you are right!
That dress was an AWFUL choice. Her arms are so not tones & her tits look saggy. I guess they are real after all.
Cee=lo's alligator arms and teeny hands still freak me out.
The saddest part is Christina is only 30 y.o. She has fully let herself go, so is it all down-hill from here on out? She needs some serious help because I'm sure what we see is only the tip of the iceberg.
unemployed_bum:
Well then you are missing out, because I don't care what he looks like, Cee-lo has an amazing voice and he writes great songs. The rest of that fuckery I couldn't care less.
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Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 01/08/2012 - 8:29am.
I think I'm gonna start referring to Cee-Lo Fat KanyeDiddy. Except that I never refer to him at all...
(He has that same mouf breathing thing going on. Ew. Dry saliva smell. Ewwwwwwww.)
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I say this with pride: I have never heard a single Cee-Lo tune past that Gnarls Barkley(sp?) tune that came out years ago. And it is moments like that, that I am thankful the busted-ass radio in the car only picked up the pretentious Ann Arbor indie station.
ewwwww
Dannii:
No I would not say the same thing to Adele for a few reasons.
First of all, Adele is a soul singer first that sings popular music. Her music has just so happened to cross over into the pop realm because it is POPULAR. She has never marketed anything BUT her voice, her lyrics, true artistry at its best...where talent comes before titties.
Secondly, and what many people fail to realize, is that pop is not just one genre. It is actually a hybrid. ANY genre of music can be pop music. The Dixie Chicks are pop music. Celine Deion is pop music. Shania Twain, Whitney Houston, et cetera. They are ALL pop music, but the difference between them and Britney Spears and Chestica Simpson is that they come from a tried and true genre. Pop as a stand alone genre, is actually fairly new and the standards for it are higher, commercially speaking. Why do you think Rihanna is always releasing an album every other week? True pop stars are supposed to be CURRENT.
True pop stars, like Britney and Christina are POP singers first. The pop sound is a distinct sound in and of itself with far different guidelines and marketing. When Britney and Christina came out, they were branded as pop singers, and no matter what Christina Aguilera does now, she will always be regarded as one. If she had started out in another genre (which she certainly was capable of doing), she could have been 'the blue eyed soul pop singer', a la Joss Stone, or 'the blue eyed jazz singer, a la Amy Winehouse. She certainly has the pipes for it.
Instead, her label did a disservice to her by initially sending her on the chase for Britney's market share, fans, look, and style. She even says to this day she did not want to come out with 'Genie in a Bottle' as her first single, but once it came out, there was no turning back, and the chase began. Ten years later, she still has never found her true niche, she is STILL chasing after a genre to fit into, and she is even more lost now than she was ten years ago.
What she needs is new management and new marketing. But at her age it is an uphill battle. And she is only 30. But THAT is the state of pop music, love it or hate it.
Male pop stars can be any fuckin' size because they are men.
That is all.
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The problem with these Disney pop stars is that they don't know how to transition to being a grown up. They never had to even become teens, just slutty children trapped in the Neverland of child stardom.
Britney would have earned so much more respect if her comeback had been her sitting at a piano wearing jeans and a t-shirt singing a killer song, instead of dancing around like a bloated tennager.
@ the breakdown-would you say the same to adele then?(does she count as a pop star? because some people say she is and others dont) or in fact male pop stars too?
also its kinda sad that a genre of music is defined by the looks of its artists rather than the actual musical product itself, but then i guess when the artists of said genre lack obvious talent its inevitable. another reason i hate culture at large.
I think I'm gonna start referring to Cee-Lo Fat KanyeDiddy. Except that I never refer to him at all...
(He has that same mouf breathing thing going on. Ew. Dry saliva smell. Ewwwwwwww.)
well said Breaky.
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I apologize for not being a hardcore junkie or an alcoholic.
It's a little sad, it looks as if all that filler is collapsing under the weight her makeup, her fear, and her desperation. Even her lashes are letting her down.
The Breakdown's epic rant was 100% on target.
So Pillow Carter is here? That's funny... I didn't hear the chorus of angels proclaiming it.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 01/07/2012 - 9:51pm.
Fabulous, I know she is a boozer. i was just making a reference to a post to me back in the OP.
:)
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I apologize for not being a hardcore junkie or an alcoholic.
============
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/attent.htm
:)
@The Breakdown - WELL SAID!
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*ridden hard*
@The Breakdown - WELL SAID!
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*ridden hard*
I thought Beyonce just announced she was preggers less than 3 months ago? Guess she must have been pretty far along. That was fast. Now I guess it's time for her to sell pictures, then sell her "weight loss" secrets post-baby after she has had her lipo and laser skin re-surfacing.
Whatever. The truth needs to really be put out there, so I will take it upon myself to do so.
Back in the day, Britney looked hot with the Industrial Light & Magic job done on her from head to toe. Then, before he chins started appearing and the cankles and her inherent backwoods hillbilly ways, she could get pass for hot. Her body was hot, but that face has always a Frappucino away from devastation.
Xtina? She was never hot. But she was always cute. Until Snookie traded bodies with her ass(es). Now even her store-bought titty balls she purchased to try and keep up with Britney and Chestica Simpson... even they look ass if they're trying to bail on her.
For a pop star (and that IS what she is) to look like she looks is not acceptable. A true pop star keeps their looks on point, from foot to lace-front. You don't see Kylie bloating up to fat pixie status and she's had cancer. You don't see Madonna battling bloat and she is nearly twice her age. These new pop tricks just don't have what it takes anymore.
I am not judging her against the normal woman, because she is not. She is a pop star and she needs to get her asses into shape and fit the bill or step aside and let someone that wants it more do it. That's just the business. I personally think she is a great talent, but SHE is the one always throwing her asses and titties and orange shades of MAC at us every chance she gets, so THIS is what she is gonna read about herself. And in this day and age of musical mediocrity, you usually have to display va-jay-jay and their closest ASSociates to move units.
Ask Nicki Minaj.
Ask Katy Perry.
Ask Ri-ho-ho.
EPIC FAIL!
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LMFAO@the Goosebumps ref!
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
kind of looks like self tanner but there is bruising there. personally i dont think shes dumb enough to shoot up her antecubitals and then wear a sleeveless dress where she knows shes gonna be photographed. but you never know. it could be a cry for help.
umm..am i the only one who sees heroine tracks and bruises on her arms covered up with make-up or is this just fake tanning gone wrong?
http://www.dlisted.com/node/44635/images/FP_8374237_NBCTour_KMFF_06_94.j...
I think there may be a third titty on her back pointing down to her no no hole.
.
.
Oh, yeah. I guess Beyonce hatched her baby. It's a girl. Woo woo.
The name: Ivy Blue...Carter? Heh?
Gud nite Slutina the Hut!
She's not FaT. She's happy. I wish she would just tone it down a notch. Everyone and their dick has white hair and blood red lips.
.
.
i dont mind her weight so much, its the bralessness. come on gurl hike those up a bit.
i also love how some people believe all drug addicts have bad skin lol I think xtina just loves good food and booze, both of which are good at numbing the sadz
I'm watching Globe Trekker and the traveling gurll just blew back a shot of snake wine brewed in central China.
Whooot woulda thunk of snake wine?!
I saw the big stank goblet of snakes vermenting water into wine. Bahlech!
.
.
the baby is here .. the baby is here .. the surrogate had the baby!!
*eye roll*
out rolls the golden carpet lights with angel wings and harps ....
Thanks for the condolences. She has been sick for awhile but no one expected her to go this fast. She just went into a hospice yesterday but died during the night. We found out today while at the dog park! That was one long walk home, I can tell you.
Anyhow, onto Xtina, she needs to ditch the bleached, parched hair and change her makeup. Looks too tarty. Her weight wouldn't matter if the rest of her looked good. Whattamess.
Anna Nicole, dat you?
Those are some sad titays!
Who gives a flying fucking fuck about her fucking weight? She still looks better than those folks at Wal Mart who wear the sweat pants, flip flops, hair tied up in a knot above head with non amusing graphic tee or hoodie on with an armload of China's finest.
Anyway. I'm all for losing weight (I wouldn't mind shedding 15 pounds myself), but otherwise.. this is lame-sauce.
My boyfriend doesn't wanna have sex with me. But I'm the asshole when I get upset. Whatever.
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You dumb bitch, I am home.-MK
I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with the donkey.
im sorry @schmoopy! my condolences unless you hated her but even still, your husband crawled out of her vagina pocket so my condolences to you still by extension! :(
...the poor thing looks like she's in a serious state of toxic bloat...
...she needs detox, rehab, and a good nutritionist STAT before she suffers a serious or even tragic health meltdown...
...regardless of how horrendous she may look, she's still got an amazing set of pipes and knows how to belt out a tune...
...not like some of these 2-a-penny tarts of recent times...
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...'She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c*nts with a capital K' - Mickey Rourke...
I agree she is not FAT, but those are not the arms of a thin person. She could lose a good 15 lbs and still not be too skinny. She is short.
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I apologize for not being a hardcore junkie or an alcoholic.
Fair game and I think deserved to poke fun at her horrendous hair colour, at her age still not knowing how to wear make-up and the fact that she wears clothes 2 sizes too small..l but she is not fat and does not look fat from here. Everyone looks larger near these HW matchsticks for Christ's sake.
Fabulous, I know she is a boozer. i was just making a reference to a post to me back in the OP.
:)
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I apologize for not being a hardcore junkie or an alcoholic.
Submitted by Karen Flatts on Sat, 01/07/2012 - 9:44pm.
And someone HATES me...two opposite sides of the same coin.
Love/Hate? Who's counting? Who cares? Are you caring enough to keep responding to me, Karen? Are you? Huh? HUH? HUHHHHHHHHHHHHH? *bats eyes*
Karen Flatts, come back. I want to zuckle on your zipples, you wicked minx. Don't leave me hanging without a nice clit tingling smack-down before I hit the haystack
Someone LOVES me. Fuck off dolly- you wish you were me.
Submitted by snoece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
She's been in for booze I know plenty of people that went to rehab for booze. They have to check your blood to see how your liver is functioning
Submitted by Karen Flatts on Sat, 01/07/2012 - 9:37pm.
AND?
Posted by Satan:
think some of you are under the mistaken impression that I want you to +1 like me. I don't. I appreciate your hate, revulsion and loathing. Hello? SATAN ring a bell?
There is no need to make amends with me. Just accept that you enjoy hating my ass. No need for fanfare or bright lights. There has always got to be a 'bad' guy otherwise life is boring. Do you think God created the Devil by accident? Lucifer was the most beautiful angel who fell from grace because he got sick and tired of the bullshit EGO that GOD had and plenty of Angels followed with him.
Now, you can say, "Well, God gives people free will!". Well, GOD is supposed to know EVERYTHING so he should have KNOWN that "FREE WILLY" shit was going to be an EPIC #FAIL.
What a dumb mother fucker.
Oh shit. I fucked up. Better send my son to die on a fucking cross because I fucked up and yet I am ALL KNOWING AND ALL SEEING.
Fucking flood shit too. What up with that? Fucking bullshit that Noah saved every damned aomeba and butterfly and dung beetle on earth.
Sorry for the rant. It's hot in here (could be menopause or carpal tunnel or a combination).
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Karen Flatts, come back. I want to zuckle on your zipples, you wicked minx. Don't leave me hanging without a nice clit tingling smack-down before I hit the haystack.
lmao
thanks for making me laugh, whoever you are!
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I apologize for not being a hardcore junkie or an alcoholic.