Dear Angie, Quit While You're Not Ahead
Scientists who study the shedding process of constipated snakes shouted "I know that look!" last night when St. Angie Jolie tried to POSE FOR HER LIFE at last night's 77th Annual New York Film Critics Award Gala. As Brad Pitt, who won Best Actor for Moneyball and Tree of Naps, hobbled along, Angie looked like a smug mouse getting swallowed by a mongoose (some Rikki-Tikki-Tavi shit) when she tried to bless the mere mortals with her holy sexyfaces. Bless this saint and her sexyfaces, because I'm pretty sure Brad Pitt knows what's going on behind her and is trying to tell her that this scene has already been won. I declare the victor:
Harriet Potter: 1
St. Angie: NIL!
For coming in second place, Angie wins a chair to have a permanent seat in! Oh, don't worry, the chair is actually a throne from the ruins of the Holy Temple and it's been cleansed in lamb blood, so she'll feel completely at home.
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Oh oh seems like Nip Tucks Coleen is back...
http://www.tvguide.com/images/pgimg/nip-tuck-gless84.jpg
Be careful Angie!
body language ....she pissed at brad..pissed at her personal life..so beautiful and both so famous...stress they must have...not share..sometimes secrets are stress
Gorgeous. That's all.
Say what you will about her personality but anyone who says she's ugly needs their eyes examined.
If only she hadn't done so much tweaking to her nose, the close up pic would've been flawless!!! Now i see a resemblance to Michael Jackson and it's NOT good.
She looks quite beat in the other photos. I think they've both lost their looks and their appeal ever since they hooked up.
I agree with another poster who mentioned their desperation for an Oscar for over 4 years and it's so damn true! They act like they're above Hollywood and least interested in this stuff when the truth is quite the opposite! Pitt's been vying for that validation ever since they got together.
When it comes to publicity, these two are very much like the Kardashians... they'll do ANYTHING for money and fame!!!
It's one thing to say you don't like Angelina's personality but you completely lose credibility when you call her ugly. She is extremely beautiful and to say she's not just reveals your sad eyesight (or your raging jealousy, which is it?). Jennifer Aniston is the biggest fraud in Hollywood and I can't bear her but I can at least recognize that she's attractive.
Sheeesh! She looks like Michael Jackson in the top pic and that isn't good. Plastic surgery can creep up on a person.
Submitted by Daniee on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 3:03am.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 12:06pm.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 11:58am.
This whole cane thing is bs. First he fell down a grassy knoll, trying to save his daughter or some shit, then he fell down skiing. So what is it?
^^^^^^^^^^
Maddox kicked him in the shin for being such a crappy example of a real man.
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Bwah, hahahah!!
Seriously though, thought he was a pill popper? Isn't that known??
^^^^^^^^^^^
Dunno. Far as I know, the only drugs he does are weed and whatever spews out of her hypnotic vag.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
she looks stunning!
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 12:06pm.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 11:58am.
This whole cane thing is bs. First he fell down a grassy knoll, trying to save his daughter or some shit, then he fell down skiing. So what is it?
^^^^^^^^^^
Maddox kicked him in the shin for being such a crappy example of a real man.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwah, hahahah!!
Seriously though, thought he was a pill popper? Isn't that known??
San Antonio secretary circa 1988.
Brad always looks the ick, so so comment for him .
WTH? Both look beat! Ange is like bitchface diva, no messing around, GET ME AN ICE CUBE! In all pics but her closeup. And Brad's in pain like he's got a deathgrip on his nuts!
Harriet Potter though, RADIANT! MK you're golden!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
They both look like shit.
She never looks stunning. She's a bag of gristle and bones.
http://crayfisher.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/sun460.jpg
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Save it for your Linkedin profile, bitch!
I am beyond hoffified
Isn't "money ball" also the term of endearment for anjie joes crack rock?
"The ocean is your emotion"-Gary Busey
COME ON, now! I've seen dozens of pics from the same event that Angie looked stunning in. You've decided to use the most unflattering one ever. That's all.
If Jolie wants to reveal the horrors, including rape, of any given war.. she should seriously consider a documentary. Her movie is probably not horrible, but it probably didn't do a lot of character development... and instead, she sacrificed that to possibly reveal, instead, how much war sucks. Well.. ok. We all know that. She could also go around interviewing these soldiers returning home from the Iraq war. I think her passion is admirable, but I think anyone with money could travel like she does and pick a country to reveal the horrors of. Basically, she can afford to care about all these places. While people like me work and have to do what I have to do. Do I like being informed? Yes. But would I choose a movie for it? No. Do I have the money to travel? No. It takes me months to save up to go somewhere by plane. Not saying that because Jolie has money her opinion is of no value.. just saying that she might consider realizing her unique and lofty position in life and not ask me to care about the exact same things she does. But if I had her money, I'd be spending most of my time in Africa, I imagine. But would I expect others to? No.
"some rikki-tikki-tavi shit" and "harriet potter" all in one post??! bahaaahahahaha! i cannot take it, effin hilarious!
Bitch STILL needs a cheeseburger
Looks like these two had one too many glasses of wine.
She looks gorgeous in the close-up pic.
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Read Triston's Heaux-ventures as he traipses the Heaux-rient Sexpress!
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/heaux-confessionals-traispsing-t...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
this is Ang back in 1993 when she was shooting "cyborg 2"..I remind you this was a time that people had to fap to "brenda" and "kelly" or the plastic monsters of playboy:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dcDhYOP4aDo/SozCpEjrBBI/AAAAAAAACPA/iDPuuE5JoL...
"Timeless beauty"...i mean..Angie surfaced into the industry around 1982 and became a fully grown woman around the early 90's(?)..now the type of women the media was looking for back then were a bit different, it was all about the women with the big blonde hair, the huge plastic chesticles, hilariously tan, silly act etc,(the Pam Andersons of the world, poor Courtney Stodden came 2 decades too late).. when Angelina wasn't that big back then and even though she didn't fit the trends of that decade you'd feel her type of beauty would become a new kind of trendsetter.. 2 decades later she still looks just as beautiful as she did back then or atleast presentable in contrast to all those melting,faded 29-somethings we see now(Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan). and her face doesn't look outdated in contrast to what the media are looking for today so.. kinda timeless, no?
She's got her head thrown back way too far and her right arm looks so tweeky.... wtf??? is it itchin' and twitchin???? yep.
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"When I'm ready to get off, I'll get off"
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 2:31pm.
Don't hate, bitches...
Angie and Brad look good here. Angie actually looks like she ate a biscuit even!
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And it all went to her lips, Triston! Come on....
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"When I'm ready to get off, I'll get off"
Timeless beauty ?
You mean the square jaw ? The thin hair ? The ice cold view ? The deformed vagina lips ?
she is stunning, i mean she might be trying too hard with her face but all i see is a flawless, timeless beauty,
Don't hate, bitches...
Angie and Brad look good here. Angie actually looks like she ate a biscuit even!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 12:49pm.
Fucking with JJ members is epic fun! I have done it before lol.
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Me too, it was very entertaining! I used to go and stir shit in Brangelina posts with other Dlisters. But they banned me on JustJared, hahahahaha
Submitted by grommet on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 1:36pm.
That close-up of her is pretty jaw dropping. I mean, damn. That's a face.
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I have to agree. She may be a skinny smug bitch but she's pretty. Worth every penny of her surgeries. I think her skin looks good actually. Pale but good. But when is the last time that girl had a tan anyway?
(it puts the lotion on & bakes self in microwave)
Who doesn't feel that Jolie's smug face needs to be slapped 24/7 ?
Harriet Potter, lololol. They've both been so obviously desperate for an Oscar the last four years or so, so naturally I'm rooting for anybody who is not them. I haven't seen any of their crappy movies since Goat Boy and Smuggy McSkeleton hooked up anyway.
That close-up of her is pretty jaw dropping. I mean, damn. That's a face.
I think AngieJo's curly hair is perdy.
That Harriet Potter thing is super funny.
Would you like some crumpets, Angie, with your tiny sausage? Quit ridin' that broomstick to heaven with my penis!
It's hard to like her -she always has that smug look that always makes her look stoned.
I know that look. sadly, all too well. I think Pitt has got a drinking problem.
Total bitch-face, but she looks great in the close-up photo imho.
How is it that Angelina gets to wear leather so much without a single PETA incident? I'm calling shenanigans.
If PETA only concern themselves with fur, they're only helping half the cause. But after all, they're just well-intentioned dumbasses. Any slut who throws paint at me is getting a shank straight to the no-no hole.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Are there any photos of homosexual-tinymeat Brad Pitt taken from behind so we may verify if she is wearing a wig?
Discuss!
Submitted by sillykat on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 12:04pm.
@ Bizzarelife
Osteoporosis is for the poor.
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That is awesome.
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I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches. -- Brick Tamaland
Fucking with JJ members is epic fun! I have done it before lol.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
This woman considers herself a goddess. Thank God I'm an atheist.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 12:07pm.
That is definitely the face of a just jared member...
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LMFAO, I have a special hate for those freaks ever since I got banned from there as well as Celebitchy for goofing on Cunty McCunty from Cuntsville.
Before they finally booted me out I was taking on the entire board and they HATED ME WITH A PASSION! They called me every name in the book and told me I OBVIOUSLY was a Jen hag because it's impossible not to hate Cunty without being obsessed with Jen. There were a few of them in particular I use to love getting under there skin to the point I swear they must have been foaming at the mouth with rage. They have to be some of the scariest fucking nut bars I've ever had the pleasure to fuck with.
She looks like shite. He has not looked good since Troy, but dayumn, he looked good in Troy.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Bizarrelife: Yes. Gwyneth Goop has osteopenia. That shit is no joke.
And those osteoporosis drugs aren't so great, either. google "fossy jaw".
The best thing is to eat well your entire life. It also helps if your mother had proper nutrition while you were in utero and if you were breastfed by a mother with good nutrition. It goes way back, actually.
Angie looks very frail indeed.
Submitted by Rocket on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 12:15pm.
"Wow, the New York Film critics Best Actor? This could be the year. Would much rather have him win an Oscar over Leo."
They could both win an Oscar this year - she certainly will win for Best Foreign Film as no one sees them and she is the familiar name to vote for!
I still think that guy who did the silent film will win tho I can't think of his name or film name
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If The Artist (that silent film) doesn't win, there's a fantastic foreign film called A Separation that I think could get the Oscar.
Angie Jo's film got terrible reviews for the most part... so it'll probably win a Golden Globe.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
why must she always look so fucking smug? i'd like to smack her.
"Wow, the New York Film critics Best Actor? This could be the year. Would much rather have him win an Oscar over Leo."
They could both win an Oscar this year - she certainly will win for Best Foreign Film as no one sees them and she is the familiar name to vote for!
I still think that guy who did the silent film will win tho I can't think of his name or film name.