Why Does Lifetime Hate Elizabeth Taylor So Much?
"At least that raggedy crackamuffin bitch is shitting on your grave instead of mine for a change!" is what Marilyn Monroe said to Elizabeth Taylor up in the smoking lounge in heaven last night after Deadline reported that Lifetime is willing to go bankrupt from spending all of its money on prosthetics, CGI, sandblast equipment and black magic to turn Lindsay Lohan into a Elizabeth Taylor for a biopic. Lifetime can officially change its slogan from Lifetime: Television for Women into Lifetime: We Just Don't Give A Fuck Anymore.
This mess, which doesn't make sense, would make sense if LiLo was going to play Last Days Liz or Currently In The Grave Liz, but she's in talks to play a young Elizabeth Taylor in Elizabeth & Richard: A Love Story. Who the hell is going to play Richard Burton? Pete Doherty? (Okay, I'd erase everything in my Tivo to record that mess.)
You know, I'm all for HoHan tripping her way up to a Drew Barrymore-like comeback and she probably sees this Lifetime shit as her own personal Amy Fisher TV movie, but she just isn't the one to play La Liz. This is ILLEGAL! Liz had a voice like a sweet piece of velvet and HoHan has a voice like a sweet piece of velvet after it got ran over by a semi-truck, used as toilet paper by a homeless junkie and chewed up by a crackhouse rat. The only ho in the world of Elizabeth Taylor that Lindsay Lohan should play is Larry Fortensky.
La Liz herself said it best:
You hear that, Lifetime? Unless you're planning on digging up Liz's corpse, just stop! Actually, maybe that's not a bad idea. Liz's corpse would look better on camera, give a more believable performance and would never get caught doing lines with her mother on the toilet seat in her bathroom trailer.
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I remember seeing a biopic starring Sherilyn Fenn, and she was wonderful. I don't even want to see a trailer for this shit.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Yes - LiLo as Liz, Dreamboat as Richard Burton, and featuring Courtney Love as Debbie Reynolds….
Just compare the two pictures. Enough said.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Lindsay Lohan is an asshole who somehow finds the time to spread her legs for Playboy but can’t find value in volunteering at a Downtown Women’s Shelter (remember that?). There is NOTHING redeeming about this useless piece of shit ... she's a fucking write-off as far as I'm concerned and even if it is only Lifetime she doesn't deserve it! Elizabeth Taylor! AS IF!!!
Submitted by Buggy on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 3:42pm.
This little girl needs an identity she can call her own.
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whore
drunk
crackhead
etc.
etc.
etc.
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...the end
I don't understand why anyone is giving her any roles or magazine shoots, etc. They need to stop giving her work and let her just go away.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Sheesh, Ho'wood IS running out of ideas. After the desaster (yes!) that homely Williams was as Monroe, this one really takes the cake. I am waiting for "the making of Ghost", Gomez/Beaver as leads, "Woody Allen's shame", starring Gosling and said Williams, "The devil Jack (Nicholson) was", Jim Carrey in the lead, "John Wayne - the total truth" - Schwarzenegger, "Osama Bin Laden", proud to present Russel Brand, the sequel to "Thelma and Louise", Spears and Ryder, who apparently survive everything. Keep me posted.
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Auri sacra fames
hahahahaha! That photo of Lohan! She looks more insane than usual.
Elizabeth Taylor was gorgeous and a real actress. Lindsay is neither.
A Lifetime movie??? How funny and sad is that? From being at the cusp of A-list stardom and having the world at you feet to starring in a Lifetime movie. Imagine if Crackie hadn't wasted the past five years drinking,drugging and paying Holley to get her out of jail, where would she be now? She would have been playing Marilyn on the big screen,not Michelle Williams, the rival for the affections of Crackie's "alleged boyfriend" Heath. The irony is staggering
This little girl needs an identity she can call her own.
This is NOT RIGHT! It's one thing to be photographed pretending to be some version of Marilyn Monroe, but to play Elizabeth Taylor in a tv movie?!
*grabs shank and drives to Hollywood looking in alleys, and liquor stores for Lindsay*
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Read Triston's Heaux-ventures as he traipses the Heaux-rient Sexpress!
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/heaux-confessionals-traispsing-t...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
She looks like she's dressing up as Liz for Halloween.
Ugh, just about any actress would be better than her. How about someone with curves, naturally full lips, and good skin? Someone mentioned Mila, and even if she has the wrong body type, at least she LOOKS GOOD (even if she'd never lower herself to Lifetime, you get the point).
Could they at least shell out for a wig that doesn't look like crazy Aunt Fran wore it?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
OK, a crack ginge with a boy body portraying a woman with curves and sex appeal?
Is this a fantasy?
EPIC FAIL!
Goddamn, Liz's grave is barely cold and the fuckery has begun. This is the kinda shit that would make a heaux come back from the dead to haunt a bitch!
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Mike Todd's burned up corpse looks 10 times better than methlips Lohan. Liz might have been a whore, but at least she was a talented whore.
The way these young hollywood hos love comparing themselves to Liz and Marilyn Monroe makes me laugh.
Everyone knows the part was MADE for Kim K! HA!
Lohan is a crack addict looking ho, her body does not resemble Elizabeth Taylor's in any way, please stop insulting us!
I wonder if Ali Lohan will play Montgomery Cliff?
Submitted by CourtWitch on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 12:43pm.
First comment for me here. Elizabeth Taylor had a luminescence to her from the time she was a baby. The only time Linds is luminescent is when she's lighting a crack pipe.
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Welcome CourtWitch. And you said it perfectly.
Lindsay isn't worthy to LOOK at a picture of Liz Taylor.
To play her in is just an insult.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
Lifetime.... you're going to Hades....going to burn right next to the Footloose remake...the original Footloose...and Beyonce
"You're a virgin who can't drive."
Liz did not have sandpaper skin, her skin was creamy white and never saw the sun. She could play the Liz who was using seconals and darvocets before gaining weight and going to rehab.
I'm just gonna have to add this to my list of reasons that Lifetime sucks ass.
Yes I have a list.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Seriously she looks like she's waiting for you to throw a 20 on the dresser and leave...and they want us to buy her as Elizabeth Taylor?!
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...the end
Blowhan looks nothing like Elizabeth Taylor. Liz was the embodiment of class & grace; blowhan is the embodiment of drug & alcohol addiction, arrogance, entitlement & mental retardation. Whoever green lit this at Lifetime needs to be kicked to the curb...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Damn LiLo looks hard! If she's in, Blake Fielder-Methyl should be Burton if DOgherty's not available. On the other hand, she would make a very believable Courney Love.
Lifetime: We Just Don't Give A Fuck Anymore.
Agreed!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Liz's corpse would look better on camera, give a more believable performance and would never get caught doing lines with her mother on the toilet seat in her bathroom trailer.
AMEN.
Although to be fair, La Liz was known for getting stinking drunk at every opportunity. However, she never let it affect her looks or performances, unlike some people we could name.
This is rubbish, garbage, fucking bullshit.
Lindsay Lohan can try the Marilyn Monroe bullshit. But Elizabeth Taylor? She made the first million dollar deal, won 2 goddamn fucking Oscars, was in some amazing goddamn movies, raised awareness for AIDS when it wasn't a safe platform for celebs, and was a self-destructive mess at points but an endearing and pleasant one at that who never lost her charm.
Kim K, fuck off, Lindsay Lohan, fuck off. Diamonds and husbands doesn't equal Elizabeth Taylor. TALENT, GRIT, GUSTO, WIT, HUMOR, and FREE THOUGHT comprised Elizabeth Taylor and all under the most gorgeous shell of divine beauty.
Hahahahahahaha....Ah hahahahahahaha
Submitted by JennyBoom on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 12:06pm.
Camilla Belle with colored contacts, please.
Hmmmm. Not a *terrible* suggestion. I'm not sure how good of an actress she is, but she has a timeless, sophisticated look to her that Lilo NEVER EVER possessed.
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Douchechill!
the woman with the velvet eyes played by the homeless looking crackhead bitch with twitchy swollen crackhead eyes?
courtney stodden wants to be old hollywood and this nasty bitch is going to play LA LIZ!?! Hell has frozen over.....
First comment for me here. Elizabeth Taylor had a luminescence to her from the time she was a baby. The only time Linds is luminescent is when she's lighting a crack pipe.
Why are you pulling my dick?
STOP IT!!!!! la liz must be spinning in her grave...this red crackhead is offered a job as liz taylor?...
on the other hand...it is lifetime...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
This is idiotic.
This has the potential to be something truly awful. Hopefully awfully camp, and not so bad I have to turn the channel.
Blohan looks as much like Elizabeth Taylor as I do which is saying something considering I am Asian. . . Seriously, why cast someone who looks nothing like her, looks old enough to play Liz as a senior citizen and is a crackhead to boot.
Did they just say this shit to stir up some PR?
If Julia Sugarbaker were alive today, THIS INJUSTICE WOULD NOT STAND!!! I HEREBY BOYCOTT ALL LIFETIME PROGRAMMING, EVEN MY BELOVED "MURDER, SHE WROTE" MIN-MARATHONS AND SOFT-FOCUS MEREDITH BAXTER BURNEY MOVIES-OF-THE-WEEK FROM THE 80s.
Camilla Belle with colored contacts, please.
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"....the Ghost of Priscilla Presley's Past" ~ MK
I cackled like a freak at this post. (I have moist eyes and everything.) Just what I needed today, MK!
You know you're over when people think Lifetime is slumming by hiring you.
Submitted by perky on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 11:17am.
When I saw this pic of Lilo in the white negligee and road-kill wig, I thought she was arriving for her next court date!
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lmao!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Wish I could post a photo of my Mom....now she really was an ET look alike in her younger days.
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IF this is true, and I pray it isn't, all I can say to Lifetime is: BLASPHEMERS!!!!
No one really watches those crappy Lifetime movies anyway, right?...
Well, if they wanted to concentrate on Taylor's Martha in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?" Taylor played a mean, bloated drunk, which Lohan actually is....
When I saw this pic of Lilo in the white negligee and road-kill wig, I thought she was arriving for her next court date!
this needs to be tweaked...
"Lohan? Noooooooooooooo!!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y30KDWq1TzU&feature=related
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 10:52am.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 10:26am.
Blo needs to go back to her natural red hair. It makes her green eyes pop and she actually looks good like that. Well, as much as a Lohan can look good, anyway.
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Agreed, Lilo is actually pretty with her natural redhead.
When she's off the shit for a week or two so Lilo can actually take a pretty picture.
She has to stop fucking with her lips and hopefully they go somewhat back to normal.
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She needs a flea dip.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 10:26am.
Blo needs to go back to her natural red hair. It makes her green eyes pop and she actually looks good like that. Well, as much as a Lohan can look good, anyway.
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Agreed, Lilo is actually pretty with her natural redhead.
When she's off the shit for a week or two so Lilo can actually take a pretty picture.
She has to stop fucking with her lips and hopefully they go somewhat back to normal.
WHY?
*waits for Breaky to call for SECURITY!*
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
LOL at what you all have said so far. Esp jerseygirl.
Agree with Datura that she has a pretty face which is especially photogenic. She is closest in appearance to Ann-Margret, but that's where the similarities end.
oh who cares? it's a freaking lifetime movie. it's suppposed to be crap.
Lohan's face isn't pretty enough, ET was really beautiful in her youth.