Khloe Is Not A Kardashian, So Says Robert Kardashian's Widow And Ex-Wife
Asking "Which Kuntrashian can you stomach the most?" is just like asking "Would you rather eat hyena diarrhea, armpit cheese or Ke$ha?", but most hos would probably say that they can take Khloe Kuntrashian (she's armpit cheese, by the way) the most. So because of this, many believe that Khloe does not have Kardashian blood running through her veins. Pimp Mama Kris has denied this a million times over, but Robert Kardashian's ex-wife and widow claim that he told them he was NOT the father. I don't know if I should be happy or sad that Maury's team is trying to get DNA swabs from Chewbacca, Ludo from Labyrinth, Chyna and Andre the Giant's corpse for a very special Kardashian episode for sweeps.
Jan Ashley married Robert Kardashian right after his marriage to Pimp Mama Kris shriveled into nothingness, and she tells Star Magazine that he confessed to her that he knew he wasn't Khloe's biological father.
"Khloe is not his kid -- he told me that after we got married. He just kind of looked at me and said [it] like it was a matter of fact. He said, 'Well, you know that Khloe's not really a Kardashian, don't you?' And I said…'OK,' and that was it."
Robert's widow, Ellen Kardashian, backs up Jan's ESCANDALOSO words. According to Ellen, Robert told her that he wasn't even dipping into Pimp Mama Kris' kunt maker at the time Khloe was conceived. Pimp Mama Kris even admitted in her book that she screwed around with a side piece named Ryan around the time Khloe was made. Jan lays it out like this:
"Khloe brought it up all the time. She looked nothing like the rest. She was tall, had a different shape, light hair, curly hair. Didn't look anything like the other three children. Robert did question the fact that Khloe was his. Any normal man would if they knew their wife had cheated on him. [But] he never would have considered a DNA test. He loved her very much."
DISCLAIMER: Ellen Kardashian filed for Chapter 7 in 2010 and lost her home to foreclosure this past October. So if you want to, you can file all of this under: Taking A Page From Pimp Mama Kris' Handbook On Shamelessly Whoring For Some Quick Coin.
It really doesn't matter at this point if Robert isn't Khloe's biological father or if she's the product of Pimp Mama Kris' wild night at a sex party in Narnia. The damage has already been done. The Karkrashian trifecta is complete and there's no going back. Besides, Robert Kardashian isn't Kim, Kourtney or Khloe's father anymore. After they drained the blood from their bodies and replaced their veins with water from the river of wailing, they became Lucifer's daughters! And by Lucifer I mean Ryan Seacrest.
And here's some pictures from last week of Khloe and Kim confusing the animals at the Dallas World Aquarium, because those two should be the ones in a cage.
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Hekki, I agree with that comment. He raised her and loved her, he is her father.
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Hey! Wait! I got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
-Nirvana
WTF is a leopard doing at an aquarium anyway? That poor thing better watch out or one of these fur-loving skanks will try to make a coat out of it.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
she is the best of the three, but that doesn't make her any less disgusting.
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Hey! Wait! I got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
-Nirvana
She WAS Kardashian's daughter because he loved her as his own. He considered her his daughter and she considered him her father and that's that.
I hate that people are being cruel about this.
I wish people would stop writing about and the Kardashians, maybe they would go away. I don't care who their fathers are.
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..."suspicious looking local".
"Asking "Which Kuntrashian can you stomach the most?" is just like asking "Would you rather eat hyena diarrhea, armpit cheese or Ke$ha?", but most hos would probably say that they can take Khloe Kuntrashian (she's armpit cheese, by the way) the most."
LOL! Ya, everybody says Khloe is funny/nice/whatever, but I've never seen their stupid show and she was good buds with Joe fucking Francis and that's enough for me to consider her just as bad as the other she-beasts.
Edited to finish my thought.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:52am.
when she's in bed she's probably one of those chicks that sound like a screw is being pulled out of her vagina like the "huhnnnhhhhh huhhnnnhhhhh" then she goes "AY YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! AYYY YIEEEEEE!!"
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UGH OHHHHHHHHHHHH LAMARRRRRRRR UGH>
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
PHM: omg that should have a NSFW tag! LOL
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 10:06am.
NO! I was just amazed as I didn't think it could get any worse, but it did.
Stop saying she looks amazing as a blonde! She looks like shit as a blonde, people! She looks best as a brunette. That bleached out blonde pic from her high school days was ugly as shit. She isn't brunette to "fit in with her sisters", she's brunette because she IS a brunette. Her hair in those zoo pics is her natural color. Sure, she's dyed it darker (like Kim's) before , but most brunettes dabble between dark brown and lighter shades of brown.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 10:04am.
Foe all of you people saying that Khloe is not pretty I googled her with out make up, cause you know sometimes bitches look better with out it. Behold your eyes:
http://www.hollywoodbackwash.com/khloe-kardashian-caught-without-make-up...
^^^^^^^^^
You think THAT looks better?!?!?!?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
ahahahahahahhah shut up Jacko!!!!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Foe all of you people saying that Khloe is not pretty I googled her with out make up, cause you know sometimes bitches look better with out it. Behold your eyes:
http://www.hollywoodbackwash.com/khloe-kardashian-caught-without-make-up...
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:56am.
like sucky knows what a woman sounds like in bed! ahahah ;p
I thought the same thing. LMAO!!
I am about an inch taller then Khloe and I limit myself to 3 1/2" inch heels. I just feel freaky tall in anything higher then that.
Saix, she is very grateful for the small number of people who agree with you. I know you are not the only one who thinks she is beautiful. I just can't see it.
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Hey! Wait! I got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
-Nirvana
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:52am.
when she's in bed she's probably one of those chicks that sound like a screw is being pulled out of her vagina like the "huhnnnhhhhh huhhnnnhhhhh" then she goes "AY YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! AYYY YIEEEEEE!!"
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WTF???!
You really do have a way with words sometimes sucky. LMAO!
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:54am.
Wow! Kim really used to look like her Dad before all the fuckery I just noticed, I thought she loved him sooooo much? then she erases him from her face? (not that I had to have my Dad's nose removed off my face or anything.....)
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yea, but hopefully you got your Dad's sexy knees... :P
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
like sucky knows what a woman sounds like in bed! ahahah ;p
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
I think that means he gets a lesser sentence. That's fucked up if true.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I like Khloé better than the rest. I feel bad for her because she's attempting fit in with the rest. Kris is a ho. Everyone knows this. And I also believe that a DNA test was already taken with results. We'll just never know the answer.
Also. She looks amazing as a blonde. She should just stick to her real hair colour. And no matter what anyone says, I think she's gorgeous.
Wow! Kim really used to look like her Dad before all the fuckery I just noticed, I thought she loved him sooooo much? then she erases him from her face? (not that I had to have my Dad's nose removed off my face or anything.....)
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
That poor sloth.
I'm glad that Robert Sr still loved her and had a strong relationship with her despite the damn obvious. Kris really is the root of all evil in that family, although Robert's genes aren't that clean either, whoever Kris fucked to make Khloe must have been full of personality. I really do feel for Khloe, she gets enough shit being the black sheep. I don't even know why she still talks to Kim after calling her an ugly troll on national television. If I was her I would have done what Aimee Osbourne did when her family started fame whoring, but that's just me.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
when she's in bed she's probably one of those chicks that sound like a screw is being pulled out of her vagina like the "huhnnnhhhhh huhhnnnhhhhh" then she goes "AY YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! AYYY YIEEEEEE!!"
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
wow 5'10" she must be like over 6 feet in those heels she's always wearing, good thing she married a bb player...
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Really, no shit!!? she's the only one that knows what the top of her entire families heads look like.
Submitted by vsminimoose on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:46am.
She's 5'10".
Khloe should be grateful she doesn't share all her genes with those bitches. She certainly can't share their jeans. (I know, I know- corny!) haha
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Hey! Wait! I got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
-Nirvana
Hee, reminds me of the Golden Girls when a tall friend of Sophia's from back home tells her they both have the wrong daughter and in walks the little foreign daughter in rimmed glasses carrying a wicker purse and Sophia's jaw drops.
I keep waiting for the CCN Breaking News on this, in other news, that Van Der Sloth confessed to killing the second girl, the Peruvian
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Ahhh Snowy...so it was just Kris. I feel bad for Khloe then with this mega bitch blabbering like she is. Kris should've told her the truth first.
& that kitteh is gorgeous!
This looks like the set from Bird on a Wire.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
She's not really that tall is she? I assume people think she's an amazon because she's always standing next to her oompa loompa 5'0 sisters. She's probably 5'6 or 5'7
Submitted by LoCoJo on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:40am.
That does sound really cool. I love animals and going to the zoo and aquarium.
Duh. Even Stevie Wonder could see that.
And I always wondered if PMK was humping on Bruce Jenner while she was married to Robert Kardashian? Because Khloe looks a lot like their younger daughters and they are both tall like her..exept they seem to have a touch of FAS in the eyes.
check out Khloe's Kameltoe in the first thumb
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
::waits for MK to post the ex Mrs. Jenner story about Brucie liking to cross dress::
And get ready for more juicy tidbits once the gag order is off the Derp.
guest I remember reading that here but it was just with PMK
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:29am.
No one is asking the important questions here: Why does an aquarium have a sloth and some kind of big cat???
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I think the reason there's a sloth and a cat is because the aquarium is supposed to have a rain forest feel to it. They also have monkeys, bats, snakes, spiders. It's really like an indoor mini zoo. Pretty cool, actually, even if now it has Kardashian stank all over it.
sillykat JINX!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
ROL is reporting that Bruce has a penchant for wearing dresses, which is not surprising to me....PMK would try to primp him too if she could make money off of it...why can't this skank family just disappear...
There was an early episode where Khloe took a DNA test for this very reason & the results @ that time were positive that she was a Kardashian or maybe they were just compatible with Kris.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
thumb 10 Kim is thinking, that would make a gorgeous coat!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
I'm wetting myself over the "sex party in Narnia" bit. Too, too funny.
You know Kim is looking at the big cat and thinking "That would make a nice coat" and Khloe is thinking "SNACK TIME!"
Khloe is def the best of the kunts.
whoa whoa whoa now they're admitting it?!!?!
PMK must have imploded if she allowed anyone to go on public record with this...unless, of course, she thinks it'll stir controversy and keep them in the news?
this must be their ace in the hole, the LAST resort before their famewhore train officially derails.
desperate punk bitches. HA HA HA HA HA
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:29am.
*swooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon* ;)
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
As much as I hate these bitches, I gotta admit Khloe wouldn't be that bad or teased as much if she didn't TRY to be sexy.
I'll hi5 a fellow tall chick all day long, but when they try too damn hard, I gotta throw them shade.
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Raising the bar for lowering standards since 1982.
"And by Lucifer I mean Ryan Seacrest."
AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH!
OURMISSCunt - per the inimitable suckandfuck, 12-23-11.
This makes me hate Pimp Mamma Kris even more, if PMK was my mother I would disown myself, a slut trying to raise sluts, I don't hate Khloe, she is tolerable, but loathe PMK she really just needs to die already...and take her skank prize pig with her
The Kunts (I refuse to type more of their name) really have a crack team of writers plotting out this soap opera don't they. A new *shocking* twist every few weeks! Drama! Backstabbing! Betrayal! The only thing stopping it being Dynasty is ahem "class".
No one is asking the important questions here: Why does an aquarium have a sloth and some kind of big cat???