What In Deadliest Catch Hell?

If the Oscars are the main party, the Golden Globes are the pre-party and that means the People's Choice Awards are the keg party in the parking lot before the pre-party. The drinks are served in red Solo cups, the dessert is store bought peach cobbler served in the red Solo cup your drink was in and hos who can't get into the main party are settling in the back of a pick-up for the night. It's a mess, basically. So hos who are going to the Oscars and GGs usually save their best dresses for those shows and wear something from the reject pile to the People's Choice Awards. Case in point: Jennifer Lawrence who led the parade of retina-burning fuggotry last night.

Jennifer Lawrence is supposed to be the hottest shit on the scene right now, so I'm assuming she's got a glam team (or "barf team" to those of us who don't have glam teams) and not one of them stood back while thinking to themselves, "We made this poor bitch look like a fish trapped in a net during a storm." Don't get me wrong, fishnet IS the fabric of our lives, but I shouldn't be looking at this picture and waiting for the late Captain Phil Harris to snatch her up and throw her onto a stainless steel table for sorting. This Sea of Fug look might've worked if they dropped a Gorton's Fisherman hat on her head or gave her a boat necklace or something. But they didn't and so Jennifer Lawrence was a category 5 mess last night.

And here's a few more from last night's The People Should Not Choose Since They Named Lea Michele Best TV Comedy Actress Awards: JL with Liam Hemsworth, Matt Boner, Mop Head, Whitney Cummings (who was creative enough to act out her last name with her face), Miley Cyrus with Liam Hemsworth, Tracey Gold, Ginnifer Goodwin, Ashley Greene, Kathy Griffin, Alyson Hannigan, Hillary Clinton, Vanessa Hudgens, Miss Mexico 1981, Lea Michele, Kelly Osbourne, Ian Somerhalder and Jennifer Morrison (wearing the hanging crochet planter from your grandma's sun room).

Splash, Bauer Griffin, Wenn.com

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by sillykat on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:27am.

Jennifer Lawrence is the best dressed of the bunch. I actually like the dress.

I absolutely LOVE that Miley is able to look like a white trash gopher no matter what she wears or how she is styled.

And Kelly Osbourne might but riding high on her thinness but she looks like a big gray headed pile of dumb.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:21am.

Ewwww, what happened to the Vampire Diaries guy?
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Douchechill!

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:20am.

I like Alyson Hannigan. I think she looks cute.

Kelly Osbourne's hair color: WTF?! O_o

Vanessa Hudgens tries sooooo hard to be edgy and sexy, but always looks like a cartoon monkey to me.

I want to punch Whitney in the face.
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Douchechill!

Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:18am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 11:44am.

Jack, I have two vaginas, but one is usually filled with the difficult brown.....
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erection

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:17am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 11:44am.
Jack, I have two vaginas, but one is usually filled with the difficult brown.....
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HAHAHAHAHAHAA YOU NASTY FUCKER!

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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:17am.

Cuppy, of course, did you see FLAVAH FLAVE!?

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by Starqz on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:17am.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 11:43am.
Speaking of Tracey Gold, has anyone caught Celebrity Wife Swap?
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Yes I watched the Tracy Gold and Carnie Wilson episode when it aired last week or so. Haven't watched the Gary Busey one online yet cause I think I'm afraid to see it..:/

Submitted by Darknight on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:16am.

@ EdDallas

It is weird. Maybe those are her only celebrity friends and she feels like she has to bring up her Hollywood connection somehow?

I don't understand why she's on the show in the first place.

It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~

Submitted by RufusR on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:16am.

And to think, Kelly Osborne is actually on a tv show where she makes fun of how other people dress.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:14am.

Jack, I have two vaginas, but one is usually filled with the difficult brown.....

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:14am.

UNDUH DA SEA
UNDUH DA SEA!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgA2xo0HYrE

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:13am.

Speaking of Tracey Gold, has anyone caught Celebrity Wife Swap? I thought even if you were in half assed sitcoms 100 years ago or in some crappy girl group or a few movies, your homes might be somewhat nice. Gold's home was super tidy, and ok, but OMFG! Carnie Wilson's house was a filthy dump, and don't get me started on Gary Busey and his complete insanity!

Tell me I am not the only one who has caught this fuckery?!

Submitted by EdDallas on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:12am.

If you watch Fashion Police, does anyone else not thinks it's really weird/odd that Kelly refers to Miley and Lourdes as her two best friends in the world. And she gets all genuinely pissed off when Joan trashes Miley or Madonna??

My question: what 27 year-old refers to an 18 and 13 year old as her best friends? I know about the fashion line she's the "model" for blah blah. but it's still weird.

And that f'ing grey hair???

Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:10am.

That Whitney trick is painfully unfunny and her show is beyond awful but I'd still ride her like a rented mule.

Not to reduce any lady to their parts alone, but her cheekbones and lips drive me crazy. She has total BJ mouth in that pic.

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Name Deleted: Me, too. I really liked that movie. It's funny. Where is that idiot? I just went to the Tattoo Boy thread (where ba-buttns got all hoity toity) and didn't see.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:08am.

Janey, I know that dress does nothing for her

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by cocoebert on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:08am.

I kind of like Jennifer Lawrence's dress. It looks like the type of thing that would look better in person.

Demi Lovato looks like a hostess on Sabado Gigante.

I kind of love Kelly Osbourne's dress but she looks terrible. WTF is going on with her hair?

Miley looks pretty. I can't throw much shade at her. I thought she was funny on SNL. Very self-deprecating.

Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:06am.

@ Jack - Yeah she is preggo again.

I love Ginnifer Goodwin and she always looks like holy hell at Awards Shows. Get it together lady.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:05am.

I don't care how hideous the dress, if you have two vaginas CAN WE TAWLK!??!
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire

Submitted by MrsPotatoHead on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:04am.

Jennifer Morrison was *this* close to looking amazing, then her dress grew bangs.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:03am.

And OMG WTF is Ashley Greene wearing?!?! She is so beautiful and that outfit is so terrible. She looks like a confused dominatrix.

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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:01am.

Hello Matt! Hey Liam!

"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK

Submitted by Darknight on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:59am.

Don't understand how Joan doesn't go off on Kelly with that damned gray hair. Like, WTF? Seriously, your job is to critique crazy looking bitches and you let that bitch on the show looking like that? She's so annoying too, with her I'm skinny now BS. Bitch, no. You look less fat than usual, but you ain't skinny.

Miley looks less like a chipmunk in these pictures. Good for her.

It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~

Submitted by tojo on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:58am.

Submitted by CheeryBitch on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 11:21am.

And I can't get passed the prison camp bag of bones behind Tracey Gold. Was she well-placed for TG's show or just a (un)happy accident?
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OMG! You are so right!!

Tracey looks amazing though!

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...the end

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:57am.

WTF is up with memaw Osbourne?? and is Alyson Hannigan preggo again?? I'd like to stick my flute... ahh nevermind... other than that, I approve all of the cleavage.
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire

Submitted by misstia on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:56am.

how fucked is it that the person in the background (on the left) of the tracey gold pix appears anorexic??

Submitted by tojo on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:54am.

Don't get me wrong, fishnet IS the fabric of our lives, but I shouldn't be looking at this picture and waiting for the late Captain Phil Harris to snatch her up and throw her onto a stainless steel table for sorting.
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I love this "roll" you are on today!!!

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...the end

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:55am.

Fug and fuglier.
Kathy Griffin looks like a man in drag. At least she's not wearing a bikini. *big sigh of relief*

Ian Somerhalder is sponge-worthy as usual.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:53am.

why was tracy gold there? Is this 1985?

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by Meatblocks on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:53am.

come back out, cuppy -miley is cute and her dress is nice. her bf didn't played with his dapper-dan doll enough.

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"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by CheeryBitch on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:51am.

Every female in this collage of hot mess looks like shit in either hair, dress, makeup (or combo of any).

And I can't get passed the prison camp bag of bones behind Tracey Gold. Was she well-placed for TG's show or just a (un)happy accident?

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:50am.

Miley's hair is so Texas prom circa 1995. I just spent 5 mins trying to find something nice to say. Just can't do it..

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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:49am.

oh damn, Gale is Myley's bf? the movie is RUINED NOW!

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by ElleDriver on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:48am.

Liam and Chris Hemsworth are just too goddamn fine to be associated with the Cyrus clan. It's a fucking travesty. Christ, my nipples got hard just TYPING "Chris Hemsworth."

Submitted by LisaRose on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:48am.

What kills me is I know for a fact that Tracey Gold is physically fit but everyone would call her fat. Not right, not fair. I TiVoed this show last night and TiVo erased it before I even got a chance to save it. I hate when that happens.

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www.dungeonhordes.com

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Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:47am.

LOL at Hillary.

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:47am.

TexnDoc beat me to it. Kelly is as fashionable as a Blossom flower hat and acid washed jeans.

This "award " show looks like a nightmare.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:46am.

I think Miley and her bf look kinda nice.

* runs and hides*

Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:46am.

You sure this isn't the WTFashion Awards? Hideous, almost all of it.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:45am.

She should have had Cinna make her dress

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:45am.

Which one of the Smurfs came on her?

Submitted by catfight357 on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:45am.

why is Kelly's hair gray?

Submitted by grommet on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:44am.

The dude from Vampire Diaries looks like he has a serious case of scurvy or something. YUCK.

Matt Bomer is the best looking man and those shoes are perfect.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:42am.

Kelly Osbourne is on the Joan River's Fashion Police panel and she shows in that? In orange? It looks like she forgot to detach the tape measure.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:42am.

JESUS CHRIST KATHLEEN AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP IN A GOD DAMN BIKINI FOR CHRISSAKES

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:42am.

Every outfit here gives me a big ole WTF?

Submitted by RichBitch on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:42am.

"Stylists" are arseholes basically. Either that or these "stars" have zero taste. Except Matt Bomer, he can do no wrong.

Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 9:42am.

people's choice? i choose none...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr