Hot Slut Of The Day!

Victoria "Viki" Lord Gordon Riley Burke Buchanan Carpenter Davidson Banks (as played by six-time Emmy winner Erika Slezak) - An era ends today as One Life to Live takes its last breath before it's buried forever in the Underground City of Eterna after 44 years and over 11,000 hours of scripted foolery. It will be replaced by THIS. 2012 is really fucking us up early.

Erika became the reigning matriarch queen of OLTL in 1972 when she replaced Gillian Spencer as Viki and she's been choking out Dorian and plotting to kill bitches as her one of her other personalities Niki Smith ever since. OLTL is the only soap opera I watched regularly, because my mom watched it at work and it gave us some shit to talk about over the fried lard balls my abuelita cooked almost every night. Whenever I faked being sick to go home early from school before 1pm, I'd get my notebook out and takes several notes as Viki taught me how to look shocked when I find out that one of my alter personalities smothered my own father in 1976, how to look shocked when I find out that one of my twins' fathers is my rapist and how to look shocked when I find out that my husband's stalker faked her own death and then framed him for it. The list of "How To Look Shocked" goes on and on.

So rest in peace, OLTL. You lived your one life by spreading melodramatic theatrics all over the world and gifting us with the glamour of Asian Blair. But I'm not going to say rest in peace to Viki Lord, because I'm hoping that on the first episode of that Revolution bullshit, Viki and Erica Kane will run over Ty Pennington when they crash onto the set in a 1966 Thunderbird convertible.

And now I leave your asses with a quote from Erika on the death of OLTL:

"We were told the daytime audience doesn't want entertainment anymore and that they just want information. Well, that's the biggest load of bullshit. People always want entertainment."

YES! Entertainment like this:

I didn't have to sniff freon as a kid to get high (okay, I still did), because I had OLTL to give me acid flashbacks and hallucinations.