The Hell Did I Watch Last Night?!
Lana Del Rey's album isn't even out yet until later this month, but hos started throwing cold mounds of shit at her months ago when they accused her ass of being as fake as the collagen noodles on her mouth. The Lana haters say that her record label changed her name from Lizzy Grant, uploaded a new musical style into her brain, plumped up her lips with a bike pump and transformed her into some kind of Nancy Sinatra-like indie wonder. And last night, they really tried to make Lana Del Rey happen by pushing her out on Saturday Night Live's stage when they really should've pushed her into an emergency room for a Red Bull injection, because she looked like she was going to fall into a coma mid-hair flip. If this was an episode of Dance Moms, Abby Lee would say that Lana didn't even earn a place on the sand under her pyramid. The whole thing was a new kind of bizarre.
Lana sounded like a Japanese person trying to sing in English with a German accent. I'm sure that what came out of her mouth is not unlike the sounds that come out of a walrus's mouth when it's doing high school theater vocal exercises. The passport of Lana's voice filled up last night, because it was all over the place. (GONG me in the face for that one. I deserve it.) The way she moved too. Lord. It was like someone threatened to shoot all of her loved ones if she didn't give the performance of her life and she doesn't really love her loved ones, but doesn't want them to know that, so she just Meh-ed her way through it. Nerves due to inexperience are a helluva drug.
With all that being blogged, I LOVED EVERY PAINFUL MINUTE OF IT! It was like watching an overly sedated 8-year-old girl do a Jennifer North from Valley of the Dolls impersonation. Sedated camp at its finest!
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I'd never heard her sing before only saw posts on her constantly on ONTD but after seeing this I don't get the hype. The whole presentation was horrible.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Will somebody please bring back the 90's!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4e-eXWbbs&feature=artist
LOL, she reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield's daughter in Easy Money where she takes all the valium the day of her wedding.
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
I know someone who actually went to boarding school with Lizzy. She and her other friends from school are shocked as hell since Lizzy showed zero interest in singing back then. But it's amazing what family money can buy once princess decides she wants a career.
When I asked her if Lizzy had had work done to her face, my polite southern belle friend replied "Well, she sure looks different...."
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 1:07am.
Submitted by CheeryBitch on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:09pm.
Rich Daddy... that's how Taylor Swift did it! As the interwebby story goes, no one would sign her because she can't sing.... Then daddy bought a record label. (As a songwriter, she's good, though. I'll give her credit for that.) If I'm wrong, don't correct me.
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Sorry, but I *will* correct you. Taylor Swift has the songwriting skills of a stunted 12-year-old.
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Well, I didn't say what kind of songwriter! ;) Point made...
Well I don't think it was that bad, vocally. I mean, there are far worse singers around who are getting airplay. Zoey Deschanel for one - she can't sing worth a lick. Faith Hill either. It's her stage presence that needs some work. Dressing her up like she is at the Oscars was a bad idea. If she had been dressed hipster chic it might have worked. Lose the strings too.
Kate Bush?
She could only wish to be a smidgeon like Kate Bush.....
This one needs a good smack everyday.
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Kate Bush?
She could only wish to be a smidgeon like Kate Bush.....
This one needs a good smack everyday.
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
She keeps caressing her left cheek... Her right cheek is getting jealous.
Submitted by Who Datt on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 5:35pm.
If anything, this performance got people asking "who the hell is this". No such thing as bad publicity in what's left of the music industry.
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Except before today I thought I might like her. I had heard the studio recordings of a few of her songs and thought the lyrics were dumb, but that she sung them well. SNL proved that wrong. And it was so bad that people had to make fun of her, which led me to find out how fake she is. Now I don't like her at all and will be (loudly) telling anyone that mentions her why I feel that way. So yeah, bad publicity can still be bad publicity.
Submitted by CheeryBitch on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:09pm.
...
Rich Daddy... that's how Taylor Swift did it! As the interwebby story goes, no one would sign her because she can't sing.... Then daddy bought a record label. (As a songwriter, she's good, though. I'll give her credit for that.) If I'm wrong, don't correct me.
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Sorry, but I *will* correct you. Taylor Swift has the songwriting skills of a stunted 12-year-old.
"I'd do her with a red ball mouth plug"
-Ricochet O'Shay
Having now been exposed to just how much manipulation labels are willing to go through, this doesn't surprise me. My nephew is in an up-and-coming band, who were made large before they ever even played a gig, by their label...and yes, the band leader's daddy is wealthy. They started by touring England to sold out shows...hmmm wonder how that happened? My nephew was added as an afterthought. Apparently they forgot they would need a bassist. The band leader hadn't even heard his creations played in full.
That said, having heard them, they ARE pretty good. This creature on SNL however, is horrible.
"I'd do her with a red ball mouth plug"
-Ricochet O'Shay
Having now been exposed to just how much manipulation labels are willing to go through, this doesn't surprise me. My nephew is in an up-and-coming band, who were made large before they ever even played a gig, by their label...and yes, the band leader's daddy is filthy rich. They started by touring England to sold out shows...hmmm wonder how that happened? My nephew was added as an afterthought. Apparently they forgot they would need a bassist. The band leader hadn't even heard his creations played in full.
That said, having heard them, they ARE pretty good. This creature on SNL however, is horrible.
so she's an uppity white girl trying to be latina for fame. I remember when people tried to hide their ethnicity, now they all want to be latina or mulatto.
WHAT kind of fuckery was that??
Is everyone at SNL high? That was embarrassingly AWFUL.
Amy Winehouse was still much better on her worst most high and drunk night.
Just another two-bit Phoebe Price imitator.
And, yes, this is exactly what Chicken Cutlets would sound like if she tried to sing...
Just another two-bit Phoebe Price imitator.
And, yes, this is exactly what Chicken Cutlets would sound like if she tried to sing...
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 12:16pm.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 12:08pm.
She's blowing the right person if she's on SNL without her album even being released.
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According to folks that have been ripping her on the internet (Hipster Runoff, particularly) she has a rich daddy that is giving muffin a career to do until she gets bored with it. I found this chick's fame-seeking story completely disrespectful of artists who bust their asses for years trying to become skilled at their craft, regardless of how poor or rich they started out
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Rich Daddy... that's how Taylor Swift did it! As the interwebby story goes, no one would sign her because she can't sing.... Then daddy bought a record label. (As a songwriter, she's good, though. I'll give her credit for that.) If I'm wrong, don't correct me.
Sorry, but I LOVE me some Lana! I can't wait till that album comes out!
I was wondering who's "Daddy" paid off SNL so she could perform. Mess.
Stinkaroonie!
And BTW, talentless person, keep you goddamn hands off your hair! That is not sexy or cute.
I fell asleep last night during SNL but half-way woke up durin this performance bit - I heard the harps and thought who the f*ck is trying to rip off Florence?! I've never heard /seen such a lame, vicodin/botox-induced performance in my life. Shame on SNL!
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 12:16pm.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 12:08pm.
She's blowing the right person if she's on SNL without her album even being released.
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According to folks that have been ripping her on the internet (Hipster Runoff, particularly) she has a rich daddy that is giving muffin a career to do until she gets bored with it. I found this chick's fame-seeking story completely disrespectful of artists who bust their asses for years trying to become skilled at their craft, regardless of how poor or rich they started out
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I agree, she is no Adele or even Florence W. I blame Lady Caca all the way, rich kids who wants a show biz career and gets daddy to buy all the right PR team. Ughhh I could not watch more than 30 seconds into it, terrible presence and "singing"!
Call me crazy, but I kinda loved this woman I've never heard of! She needs a new hairstyle (or wig?), she's got to get more comfortable on stage (or a lower dose of Xanax), but I kind of liked the bizarre accents, pitches, and style. She's a next level freak!
As for MK's writing? "Lana sounded like a Japanese person trying to sing in English with a German accent."
Again, he's a genius.
Serious question: Is she wearing a wig, or is that just a bad dye job in the classic helmet head style?
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 6:22pm.
Ehhh, I still enjoy SNL.
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I do too!! Not everything is a homerun but there are so many gems! I try to NEVER miss it...
That being said I fell asleep on the couch last night and missed this mess...:/
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...the end
Ehhh, I still enjoy SNL. This season I thought the Melissa McCarthy and Jimmy Fallon episodes were a lot of fun. Laughed my ass off at more than a few skits. "Weekend Update" and Andy Samberg's Digital Shorts at good, too.
And while they have had some lame musical guests, they had some interesting ones, too. I like seeing if musical acts have the chops to perform live. This Lana chick sucked it, but real musicians can kill. As annoying as Michael Buble is, he connects with the audience. I don't think you have to do flashy dance routines but you have to do SOMEthing to entertain us.
Jesus Christ, is this the level that music has sunk to nowadays?
Not only did she look like she really didn't want to be there but she didn't emotionally connect with any of the lyrics at all, which is what you need to do if you want to be a good singer. That was 4 and a half minutes of my life I will never get back now, thanks a lot.
Submitted by Who Datt on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 5:35pm.
Lana Del Ray sucks ass, she isn't that big in Europe. Plus a lot of UK>US artists have failled to make a transition in recent years.
Maria and the Diamonds are 1000x better.
Holy moly, she sounds like one of those wind-up dolls when they need re-winding. Or a broken Victrola.
I wondered exactly how she got famous and read her father is a millionaire. That explains it.
Submitted by saltydog88 on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 5:39pm.
Pretty sure it's Lon-A, like Smallville.
PS Dan Rad pronounced Lana as Lon-a (like Lana from Smallville) I thought it was pronounced like Lain-a does anybody know which is correct?
Betch has seen waay to many Toni Braxton videos! >.< She needs to practise her 'attitude face' ...if she could move it!
I kinda like the recorded version of the first song. My bi boyfriend and my bi female best friend are both absolutely in love with her lately though.
To me I sort of feel the same way about her as I do about Adele...I appreciate the music but I don't emotionally connect with the lyrics at all which is needed for this type of music (Note, I'm not say her talent is comparable to Adele's, clearly Adele is a million times more talented)
What THE FUCK was that CRAP?
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
She is already HUGE in Europe, due to the "Video Games" single. Look for her to break big time in the USA very soon. The last "new" acts that had this much pre-release buzz were probably Amy Winehouse in late 2006 and Lady Gaga in 2008. If anything, this performance got people asking "who the hell is this". No such thing as bad publicity in what's left of the music industry.
<"Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:00pm.
At last!! We've found the new Kate Bush!!
*gets struck by lightning*">
I'm glad you added that.
Del Ray was like a zombie dolly last night. I think she's the most egregiously cynical bit of niche marketing (the niche being "irony-loving poseur hipsters") I've seen since Milli Vanilli (although she obviously does do her own "singing").
Wow, did she suck last night. SNL should be ashamed of themselves for buying into this dreck.
Thirty seconds in and I'm outta there. I do not understand how SNL limps on without being kicked in the groin more often.
SNL needs to step up their musical act game. Why not get The National? I mean if they're trying to cash in on the "alt" music scene, The National is much better than this thing they put on last night.
We went out to a BBQ restaurant last night and they had some local performer playing a small set out in the outside eating area. She was very talented and had a beautiful voice. Sad that the only gig she can get is at a BBQ place and you have crap like this Lana chick with a record deal.
Lana sounded like a Japanese person trying to sing in English with a German accent.
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LOLOLOLOLOL! O - is THAT what's going on here?
This is shitastic. Just fucking awful, really. WHYEEEEEE?!?!
♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden
While we watched her first song last night my partner said, she looks like Julia Roberts. Then I chimed in with Julia Roberts crossed with Nicole Kidman. Then we decided she was Julia Roberts/Nicole Kidman in the looks department crossed with a Kate Bush/Enya wanna be, with a dose of Bjork.
Oh my god, that freakin' sucked.
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"I'm a godless heathen and I approve this message."
Wow I can honestly say, no exaggeration, I could deliver a better performance than than either of those last night. And why was she dressed like it was the Oscars?
She suckety sucks. Time for rehab hon.
She's like a terrible combination of Florence and the Machine (who I love), Kate Bush (who I also love) and Marina and the Diamonds. I feel like she's trying to emulate different artists and failing very badly.
"Lana Del Rey"?
That's a doozy, what WayOut machine came up with that one?
I saw this last night cause my hubby was telling me what all the 'rage' she is right now. I was like 'who the fuck is Lana Del Rey?' I'm still asking that question.
But funny thing, she's being touted as a 'gangster Nancy Sinatra', all I kept asking was 'who is this hussy desecrating Julie London's corps?"
http://www.inked-up.com/profile/RaulRules
Was I watching Twin Peaks?
MY MY WHAT A FINE LINE WE TREAD LANA. WHAT SEPARATES PRAISEWORTHY INDEPENDENT MUSIC FROM CW SHOW SOUNDTRACKS? ALL HER OTHER SONGS SOUND LIKE HORSESHIT ABOUT BEING A WHITE GIRL WHO IS LIKE TOTALLY GANGSTA AKA GAY AS HELL. DUNTUWN HOENEE
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.