Lindsay Lohan Accused Of Being A High-Class Whore By A Former Marine
The late Elizabeth Taylor's effort to possess the body of Judge Stephanie before sentencing Lindsay Lohan to Death Row so she can't barf all over the image of La Liz in a new Lifetime biopic failed today. Because LiLo was in court for another probation hearing and Judge Stephanie slipped on a Hazmat-made rubber glove to pat her head for doing what she's supposed to do. BORING! But the day wasn't completely a loss, because right before LiLo strolled into court, a process server served her with a reasonable and accurate lawsuit. No, Sebastian Bach is not suing LiLo for stealing his 2010 look. A man named Thomas A. Green is suing LiLo for $300,000 claiming she went back on a business deal with him, because he was close to uncovering the truth about her involvement in the death of Osama Bin Laden. Naturally.
TMZ says that the 12 page, handwritten lawsuit looks about as crazy as a letter to a fan Lindsay Lohan writes on the back of a cocktail napkin after one of the voices in her head tells her that the potted plant in the corner wants an autograph. Thomas, a former U.S. marine who regularly has hallucinations, writes in the lawsuit that during a Facebook conversation with LiLo, she said she would help to promote his dot-com business. When LiLo started tip toeing away from the deal, Thomas found out that she had a huge part in the killing of Bin Laden and is a high-class prostitution whore. Thomas scribbled this in the lawsuit:
"[Thomas] set out to command [Lohan] to twitter and stated if [Lohan] acknowledges this is an Osoma Bin Ladden op all civilians in past wrong doing will receive clemency.[Lohan] might be a high end prostitute."
TMZ also called him a delusional crazy and White Oprah resembles that comment! You know, I was mad at TMZ for calling this absolutely sane man "delusional," but then I read the part where Thomas refers to LiLo as a "high end" prostitute. HIGH END? That's like saying rust water from a toilet tank is top shelf liquor. The only way LiLo can use the words "high end" in her escort ad is if she means that you have to sprinkle a little coke on her b-hole before you stick it in.
There really is a fine line between a Lohan and a delusional sometimes-homeless crazy person, and LiLo snorted up that line a long time ago, so White Oprah should adopt this dude. They need to put their differences aside, because delusional crazies belong together.
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I'm waiting for all her hair to fall out from all the bleach.
Gravity is getting the better of Lohan's massive fake rack. Question: isn't she a little young for that level of drooping?
I'm sure Miss Lohan took scant notice of such lurid accusations and is applying all her energies in preprations for her triumph as 50s movie personality Bessie Mae Taylor.
albino whore needs a slingshot for her tits
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Them low ridin flapjacks need to be on lock down.
"Oh I thought you said DON'T wear a bra when you go to court"
"Might" be a high end prostitute? Somebody give this Marine a fucking clue:
http://www.thesuperficial.com/lindsay-lohan-dream-hotel-owner-vikram-cha...
Thanks guest! Guess we'll never know other than the hype of it.
Lol @ Ponchiks - my granny used to say "peckish".
Surprised the CDC hasn't checked under those nails for viral superstrains.
lohan is now a WMD. herp & stds to the talliban
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
GG...according to Hef it was flying off the shelves or some sh*t...but not irl.
*has no factual data for the above-referenced statement*
:D
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Put a damn braw on!
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 2:32pm.
For the love of God, would it kill BloHan to wash her hands once in a while????? Why are her nails always so damn dirty? Pretty soon she'll be entering Dreamboat territory!
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This reminds me of how when I was little and had dirty nails my mum would always ask me whether it was so that I would have a snack for when I'm peckish. So, maybe, that's what Blohan's doing- keeping some crack to get a fix when she needs one.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
To quote from "Female Trouble": "Divine talking on the phone to the male Divine, Earl, who just raped her:
"Just cuz you've got them big udders don't make you something' special! Get the hook, go fu&k yourself!"
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 2:35pm.
Does anyone know how her playboy issue sold?
I heard not well and more importantly, did not lead to any actress-type work. may have boosted her hourly rates but that's about it.
Can someone please sandblast her from head to toe?
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
High end...please. You know she puts on her good wig and fights for her spot on Crenshaw and Slauson on a nightly basis. She's got her Screen Actors Guild dues to pay for.
Whore + "Starlet" = Whorelet
I believe completely that LILO is a hooker.... But high class? I think not...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Does anyone know how her playboy issue sold?
For the love of God, would it kill BloHan to wash her hands once in a while????? Why are her nails always so damn dirty? Pretty soon she'll be entering Dreamboat territory!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
She really thinks she's stunning with that platinum weave atop her head! These untouched unphotoshopped pics make me wanna scream SUCKERS! To the few dipshits who actually bought her playboy issue! Ripoff!
Mike...ikr...lol!!!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
The only thing I can think of --- for that bulge that goes from the bottom of her chin to her throat --- is that she is filming some kind of ZZZ-list slasher film and that "pouch" is filled with imitation blood that will gush/spray when she gets macheted across the throat and she had already sat four hours in makeup that morning to get it applied but she had to appear in court before continuing on to that afternoon's filming.
I love the second to last pic. Who's the HBIC. Blohan knows.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 2:26pm.
HAHAHAHAHAAAA PLEASE TO TELL YOUR WHEREABOUTS ON MAY 1, 2011!!!! AY AY AY AY INFIDEL!!
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I KIIIIIILL YOU!
JESUS
someone get that ho a bra please!!! damn things are about to slide into her bellybutton.
*adjusts spanx*
You take that back Jerseygirl! We haz way better looking wh--ah--ladies at our Walmarts!
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 2:22pm.
Dog - GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Redbull, vodka and coke.
^^^^^^^^^^^
And the cigarette butts she forgot were still between her nasty lips when she chugged the RB and vodka.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
HAHAHAHAHAAAA PLEASE TO TELL YOUR WHEREABOUTS ON MAY 1, 2011!!!! AY AY AY AY INFIDEL!!
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
lol@"command to twitter"
Except for the Bin Laden thing, the dude is right: LiLo is a high end prostitute. Like countless young/er actresses who are in little or no demand. When it happens, their handlers offer them another option: de luxe prostitution. Denise Richards, Tara Reid and Brigitte Nielsen know it best. This is the real Hollyweird.
With all that bloat in her face, she looks better suited to play a late-in-life Bette Davis biopic!
her double chin is trying to touch her bewbs but they ran away!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Oh, please, if this bitch had anything to do with the death of Bin Laden, and by anything I mean if she fucked one of the Seals' nephew's brother's cousin's friend's dealer's former roommate for a bump, WO would have her wearing a camo bikini every damn day.
Now the prostitute thing, that I buy. He says "high-end" but that could be relative. There are some areas where hanging out at The Walmart on a Saturday night is hot shit.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Dog - GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Redbull, vodka and coke.
WTF is wrong with her????
double chin
makes casper the ghost look tanned
boobs on belly button.
that fucking white hair. jesus.
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Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Bitch is dirty.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Why is she wearing my grandpa's pants???
My 93 year old grandma's boobs are perkier than this....
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
M.E., and what do you think said vom would look/smell like?????
Oh dear.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
What's up with crazeee Marines lately??? They just picked up an ex-jarhead for stabbing 4 homeless people in Orange County (CA not FLA)!
From the looks of her skin and hair, she's starring in a remake of "Powder". How amazing would that be?? Oh, the double entendres!
Dog - she looks like she's trying to keep the voms down.
well...she's certainly got the coked out dead eye stare of a prostitution whore downpat...
and it would explain the shiteous blond hair...
and why she gets out of prison time and time again...
but you know, whatever. *shrug*
It's not often you get a jail/court celebrity pic where you know the cop in the lead has the bangin'st body under all that stuff.
Thumb #3 is too easy. Bitch is so hungover, she can barely keep her eyes open.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Double double...chin...
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...the end
How low will they go?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
"There really is a fine line between a Lohan and a delusional sometimes-homeless crazy person, and LiLo snorted up that line a long time ago."
Michael K, you have the magic snark. Basically the main reason I read DListed now is to scavenge your bitchy one-liners and use them on my friends who don't visit here every day. You really need to start hanging out with Kathy Griffin so the two of you can riff on celebs, do a Vlog or something ...
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This signature will be publicly displayed at the end of my comments.
http://hipandcritical.blogspot.com/
I feel bad for the cray cray marine.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.