The Bitch Word Is Alive And Well In Jay-Z's Mouth
Seen here getting a serious whiff of a lucky piece of his ego that escaped out of his butthole and slipped up to freedom through his legs, Jay-Z left Blue Ivy Carter at home with Beyonce (and a team of nannies, and a chef who specializes in gourmet-flavored tit leche, and a choreographer who specializes in teaching newborns how to kick with the beat, and a voice teacher who specializes in teaching newborns how to burp with vibrato, and a gold miner who specializes in sifting through the caca lumps of a chosen one to find D-class diamonds) to hold court at the grand re-opening of his club 40/40 in NYC last night.
Had I known that Jay-Z was coming outside, I would've staged a pro-bitch rally and thrown proud bitches (like my friend Jesse, my friend Dr. Jennifer, every Dlisted commenter, a couple of my neighbors and a few my relatives) at him as he walked the carpet. LONG LIVE BITCHES! But there was no need for that, because Jay-Z told reporters that he did not write the anti-bitch poem and "bitch" will still make an appearance on his tongue (insert your own Kanye's booty hole joke here).
That whole anti-bitch poem seemed suspect to me from the very beginning and I knew it had to be as fake as the smile Beyonce makes when she congratulates Michelle Williams for having the #10 single in Uzbekistan. "Bitch" has made Jay-Z a whole lot of gold bars and if there's something he respects above EVERYTHING it's MONAAAY HONEY BOO-BOO CHILD.
Here's a few pictures of all the A-listers who set 40/40 on fire with their bright shining star power last night: Jay-Z, me in drag, Ashatni, Spike Lee, the Staten Island Peg Bundy and Selita Ebanks.
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Ashanti needs to keep it real and get a damn job. Being Nelly's full-time escort ain't one.
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ashanti is still around? she is like a bad smell that just wont go away.
beyonce would have been soo pissed off she couldnt turn up, because she is trying to keep the whole "real" pregnancy smoke and mirrors trick going.
which is stupid, bitch should have turned up, with a fake umbilical cord hanging out of her dress like its a long skinny peen, and i would have believed that she was really pregnant, not a south american surrogate.
Where is Beyonce? Has she not lost all the pillow baby weight yet? LOOSER ;-)
so the one emotionally evolved utterance in his entire life and . . . ahhh . . . . he didn't say it?
the bitch is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait for Rosemaryonce's baby pics!
Ashanti,*eyeroll* Gurl can u suck in any harder? Let you breaf go & show us the gut.
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slutty slutty slutty - Michael Kors
where's Nelly & no wonder you any married.
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slutty slutty slutty - Michael Kors
I did not enlarge these photos. Spike Lee was dressed as 1991? Did anyone ask Ashanti how Ja Rule is doing?
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Good thing Jay-Z has money cuz he's the fugliest thing I've ever seen. Such ugliness has no rivals in either, animal or human world.
How is Beyonce doing it with him, is beyond me.I can't even look at him without gagging.
It's astounding you could gather that much doucheyness in on place at one time.
This ugly ghetto lummox needs to retire already.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Fuck the 40/40 and those $20 drinks. It's alcohol, not blood...
Capitanne, what is your picture from?
is MK in drag Brenda Song? or Julie Chen from Fox 5?
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Verses to Summertime from Porgy & Bess:
"your daddy's rich and your mama's good looking..."
That's a good thing cause Miss Carter is going to a whole of plastic surgery.
aside from mk in drag, this is the saddest looking bunch of guests i've ever seen...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
These women all look like tacky dayshift hookers. Especially Selita. Damn.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
He really is unfortunate looking!
Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 10:36am.
Haha Whamo!! TAKE A BITCH DOWN!
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LOL, I have no idea if he actually paid $200 for and I have no clue how much it actually costs but that's what he told me anyway. He's a good bud but he's just one of those guys that's always telling you the name brand of shit to impress you so ya I had to punk him a bit:)
He's also the best guy to get shit that "falls off a truck" so for all I know it "fell off a truck"
To me that ex-drugdealing pimping moneywhore just keeps raising the issue of the possible apposite usage of the n-word - if not used as an insulting generalization but to specify a very specific type of black american.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 10:31am.
Asswater??????????????
*contemplates kicking Whamo to the curb yet again*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Haha Whamo!! TAKE A BITCH DOWN! lol I have had Dom a couple of times and really liked it. Not $200 a bottle worth of like though. I feel like a rock star when I buy Patron Silver (my fave) and I can still get a kick ass outfit to drink it in with the cash left over.
I got very sick at 40/40 from bad red wine. Should have known better i guess, but i suspect the bartender knew it was bad. The staff there are jerks.
Oh good. I was worried...
Spike Jones is starting to look kind of turtle-Russel-Simmons-y. And, by the way, the 90's are over. Stop dressing like that.
WHOA at that "Peg Bundy's" face. She's uglier than Jay-Z.
Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 10:10am.
However I did drink some Dom a couple of times. Okay it was Asti Spumante, same difference
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I had Dom on New Years, my buddy's all like Whamo (yes my friends actually call me Whamo it's a long worn nickname.lol) THIS IS DOM BRO, $200 a bottle! I had to wipe that silly "I'm all that look" off his face and told him it tasted like ass water...and it DID! Bahawahhhh
I can't tell shit from shinola when it come to that sort of thing so WTF do I know!
Turd.
What? Armand de Brignac Brut Gold champagne and not Blanc de Blancs?? What a cheap gauche bastard. >:(
Okay, I totally googled that lol. However I did drink some Dom a couple of times. Okay it was Asti Spumante, same difference.
Man, Jay-Z will think of anything to get out of the house.
Submitted by RichBitch: "Why isn't Beyonce on a red carpet showing us how she got her figure back? It's been nearly 2 weeks for fuck's sake! Slacker."
She's waiting another week so it'll seem more "realistic".
And she'll probably drop a single dedicated to her baby girl.
Fuck this bitch and his club. I worked at the 40/40 club and it was the worse experience ever, they could give two fucks about their employees and treat them like pure shit.
"I knew it had to be as fake as the smile Beyonce makes when she congratulates Michelle Williams for having the #10 single in Uzbekistan"
lmao *dead*
and the bitch thing was lame anyways so im glad to hear he didnt actually say that. the whold "im in my 40s but just realized bitch is bad because i had a daughter" thing was stupid.
The voice of that mob wives chick is the worst voice ever-sound that makes me want to stab my eardrums ugh-actually all the wives on that show sound like they smoked since birth just gross
"...as fake as the smile Beyonce makes when she congratulates Michelle Williams for having the #10 single in Uzbekistan..."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Why isn't Beyonce on a red carpet showing us how she got her figure back? It's been nearly 2 weeks for fuck's sake! Slacker.
His marriage to Beyonce isnt't "real", is it? It's like one of those alliances that creates an "empire", right?
Also did anyone notice that MK referred to the Asian lady drinking the giant bottle of champagne as "me in drag?" Laffo!
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#OccupyTheKardashians
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Submitted by Datura on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 9:36am.
I'm loving the BitchBitchBitchBitchBitch tag. lol
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lol I'm so glad I'm not the only one cracking up at that.
He's making Bill Cosby face in that pic
I like Eminem's music but the rest of rap sucks.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
The bitch sho' is ugly.
Thanks guest! I'm actually wearing foundation, lol.
And I'm glad I don't look like J up there.
Rap is one of those music styles that as you get older you just look ridiculous doing it. It's a young man's game.
Jay-Z looks like he makes HUGE BITCH BABIES!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
OOOOOF. He ain't too pleasant on the eyes, is he?
All the money in the world can't erase fug.
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#OccupyTheKardashians
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Submitted by tojo
Seriously they "walk the carpet" for a club re-opening?
Egotistical fucks...
MTE. Speaking of egotistical fucks, Goopy couldn't fly across the pond for this stellar event?
Fuck he's hideous! And it's true, little girls generally take after their daddies in the looks department. Poor child. Adam Sandlers daughter all over again!
Jay-Z must have a monster dick to go with his monster bank account and monster lips for Beyonce to have married him. He will NEVER be attractive. My God.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Jay kind of looks like Lon Chaney's Phantom of the Opera in that main picture.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
I'm loving the BitchBitchBitchBitchBitch tag. lol
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
As long as the white kids keep buying these songs/albums where minstrel show black rappers sling the b---- and the n----- word, they will keep using them. Sell outs. Way to set the black race back 50 years...
LOL at those pictures... what a lame guest list.
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire