Translation: Bitch Is Scared Of Madge's Soul-Eating Powers
Elton John's husband David Furnish went on a bitter old queen rant the night Madge won the Golden Globe for Best Song over the song from his movie Gnomeo & Juliet. Shots were fired and Madge made a mental note to claim the soul of David's first born Zachary by revenge fucking him in 18 years. We should all assume that Madge also threatened to strangle David with her velocicrotch in his sleep, because he's put down his weapon, slid it over to her side and is now saying on Facebook (via UsWeekly) that his words were blown out of proportion.
"Wow! What a tempest in a teapot. My comments regarding The Golden Globes have been blown way out of proportion. My passion for our film Gnomeo & Juliet and belief in Elton's song really got my emotional juices going. But I must say for the record that I do believe Madonna is a great artist, and that Elton and I wish her all the best for next week's premiere of the film W.E."
Hmmm. I wonder which part was blown out of proportion? The part where he wrote "Madonna for Best Song? Fuck off!" or the part where he wrote that her "acceptance speech was embarrassing in its narcissism." Or maybe the part where he used her old CD booklets to line the inside of Elton's Depends? I hate it when this shit happens. David let his bitter bitch flag fly brightly and now he's backpedaling up Madge's ass, because he's afraid she's going to make his hairline jump back a few inches when she puts him in a neck-hold with her engorged peen arms. David is an embarrassment in his wussyissism (and I'm an embarrassment for using the word wussyissism).
And when you write the line "my passion for our film Gnomeo & Juliet," everything you write afterward should be struck from the record, because it's obvious you're okay with not making sense and it's not right for you to drag us down too.
Speaking of W.E., here's a piece of The Daily Telegraph's smile-inducing, heartwarming and day-making review:
Madonna’s skill with the camera seems to extend to her being able to turn it on, but not a great deal further: to liven up an argument between Wallis and Edward, she has her romantic leads inexplicably run around a tree trunk. Later, we see Wallis dancing the Charleston with an African tribeswoman to the strains of 'Pretty Vacant’ by The Sex Pistols in front of a Charlie Chaplin film, which must be a strong contender for the most garbled, half-baked image in cinema history.W.E. is — still — a stultifyingly vapid film, festooned with moments of pure aesthetic idiocy. With characteristic humbleness, Madonna performs a song called 'Masterpiece’ over the end credits, although one can’t help but feel that her 2003 number one single 'Sorry’ might have been more appropriate.
Now that's how it's done, David! W.E.'s chances at getting nominated for an Oscar are as bleak as my asshole getting nominated for an Oscar, but the academy should still flash this review when they acknowledge Madge's movie career in the In Memoriam segment.
(Thanks Gillian)
• 
Elton John looked so bitter when Madonna won that I most went to the fridge for a matching drink.
***
I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
by jaariel on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 5:56pm.
Madge is an insufferable, pretentious twit.
Remember when Elton famously complained about M being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? He had a point then, and he/David has one now.
And that review is pure poetry...too bad it will probably go right over M's head
*************************************
^ THIS!
Madonna is insufferable and the worst kind of faux-intellectual. She's made zillions and is no dummy but she so obviously and desperately craves acceptance as a cultured, brilliant artist--and no one's buying it. Good for Elton's piece for speaking the truth--I wish he'd stuck to his guns.
Submitted by Cat Scratch on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:10pm.
I know Madge is pretty bloodless but she knows it, she tactful about how she files grievances. Elton just spazzes like a little whiny bitch at people publicly for no apparent reason. It's garbage. Elton is only famous for a few songs,
****************************************************
Does your mommy know you are in here playing with the grown-ups? You must be awfully young!
Oh! I love that review! Bitch deserves it just for being a cunt, if nothing else.
On another track, I never realized before this picture how short Elton's arms are!
OUCH!
Cat Scratch, I just fell off my chair when I read your comments. You must be kidding! ACK!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Madonna will be remembered as a mega-selling singer but never as a gracious, eloquent, well-spoken, dignified artist yet she tries so desperately to be all of those things. She's a crass, shallow, narcissistic nightmare of a human being whose money will never buy her the respect of a true artist. Every time she opens that plastic mouth she's even more disgusting than the last time she spoke and I have no doubt that "W.E." is a direct reflection of her one-dimensional abilities.
Oh come on! Why back down now?
And W.E. Sounds AWFUL! She can't act so it doesn't surprise me if she can't dict for shit.
****************************
Read Triston's Heaux-ventures as he traipses the Heaux-rient Sexpress!
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/heaux-confessionals-traispsing-t...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
Dammit girl, man up and stick to your guns!
I haven't seem W. E., but I can imagine it, based on what I know of Madonna; a bunch of faux, self-indulgent *artistic* scenes, like a bunch of YouTube vids, all spliced together, with no real continuity or intelligence.
It's probably unwatchable, but Madonna would shriek "It's ART!!" (and then mock anyone who is not *sophisticated* enough to get her film)
Uh huh.
************
Madge is an insufferable, pretentious twit.
Remember when Elton famously complained about M being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? He had a point then, and he/David has one now.
And that review is pure poetry...too bad it will probably go right over M's head
========================
But what's crystal meth clear is that Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are majority share holders in Hot Topic.
Thanks MK for making my day. God how I hate her and she sucks as a filmmaker. She is trying too fucking hard for a change. I wish she had Tom Cruise would get on a plane headed down...
This article was full of win, as usual, but man that description of a scene from W.E.- holy fuck, I'm offended by the depths of Madonna's ability to even exist. Sex Pistols with Chaplin and the Charleston with an tribeswoman, eh? This bitch was never anything talented or original from day fucking ONE. She aped everyone around her and the fact that these people make millions is proof that god hates us alll! (slayer) haha
"velocicrotch"
My day needs nothing further.
Den: Thank you for setting catscratch straight! Only famous for being friends with Liz Taylor???
We're talking about Madonna. The same woman that was in the 69 position with a dog in her SEX book!
Den: Thank you for setting catscratch straight! Only famous for being friends with Liz Taylor???
We're talking about Madonna. The same woman that 69'd with a dog in her SEX book!
Apparently Madge got a few stabs in herself, on the red carpet...
"Madonna hit back when questioned about Sir Elton's remarks, asking reporters, 'Was he wearing a dress?' adding, 'May the best man win.'."
source:
http://madonnalicious.typepad.com/madonnalicious/2012/01/elton-john-in-g...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"The least of your slaves holds over you the power of life and death" - Pliny
Haha I'm pretty sure behind the scene's Madonna used her power to the full force. Bitch still has influence. Not to mention Elton and Madonna share the same publist.
Haha I'm pretty sure behind the scene's Madonna used her power to the full force. Bitch still has influence. Not to mention Elton and Madonna share the same publist.
Jazzy, OK?! Yeah, Elton John and Bernie Taupin were phenomenally prolific for several years - just cranking out amazing album after amazing album. Elton's band was tits. Dee Murray, Davey Johnstone, Nigel Olson (genius of syncopation!), and Ray Cooper were perfect with Elton's piano virtuosity.
I've actually been at youtube just listening and singing to a bunch of songs. Feels good to listen to great music.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:55pm.
====
What's shocked me (from Wikipedia) regarding THE ALBUM Goodbye Yellow Brick Road: "...Bernie Taupin wrote the lyrics in two and a half weeks, with John composing most of the music in 3 days...Goodbye Yellow Brick Road was recorded in two weeks..."
pssst...take that Axl Poseur and Chinese Democrapy.
"tempest in a teapot" the douchiest thing i've heard all month.
grow a set you wuss.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Levon and Tiny Dancer love those songs.
Can't even work up a shit to give and
I wish they would just ignore instead of backpedaling...
============================================
...the end
Get it Madge!
I actually loved the movie Gnomeo and Juliet and so did my little boy. We have watched it over and over and over and I even got him a Gnomeo and Juliet ornament at Christmas.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 1:05pm.
Hey Whamo - 2 stinkers on a double album ain't bad!
========================================
Indeed! "and tell me you grey seal how does it feel to be so wise" lol!
Hey Whamo - 2 stinkers on a double album ain't bad! "Funeral For a Friend"/"Love Lies Bleeding" are my faves on GYR. I also loved the title song, "Grey Seal", "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting" and "Harmony". There is an amazing range of songs, sounds, and emotions on that album.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:54pm.
THIS!> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4VbOHvaPRc&feature=fvwp&NR=1 That is all.
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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TRUE DAT!
RAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_____________________________________________
"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 11:41am.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 11:05am.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 10:17am.
The album was "Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy",
====================================
LOL, Ya I know Deb, I was just too lazy to write the whole album title out.
Yes GYR was an amazing album, Roy Rogers, Sweet Painted Ladies, All the young girls love Alice... well lets say they were all excellent EXECEPT Jamaican Jerk-off and Your Sister Can't Twist I always hated those two songs. lol!!
Submitted by Cat Scratch on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:10pm.
"Elton is only famous for a few songs, I mean, he's not so much better than Madge and alot of his lyrics are very trite. His only redeeming quality is being liked by Elizabeth Taylor if you ask me."
---------------------------------------------
Cat Scratch, what planet do you come from, and are you very, very young or just ignorant? Elton John is "only famous for a few songs"?
According to Wikipedia:
"In his four-decade career John has sold more than 250 million records, making him one of the most successful artists of all time.[1] His single "Candle in the Wind 1997" has sold over 33 million copies worldwide, and is the best selling single in Billboard history.[2] He has more than 50 Top 40 hits, including seven consecutive No. 1 US albums, 56 Top 40 singles, 16 Top 10, four No. 2 hits, and nine No. 1 hits. He has won six Grammy Awards, four Brit Awards, an Academy Award, a Golden Globe Award and a Tony Award. In 2004, Rolling Stone ranked him Number 49 on its list of the 100 greatest artists of all time.
John was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994.[4] Having been named a Commander of the Order of the British Empire in 1996, John received a knighthood from HM Queen Elizabeth II for "services to music and charitable services" in 1998.[5]
He has been heavily involved in the fight against AIDS since the late 1980s.[6] In 1992, he established the Elton John AIDS Foundation and a year later began hosting the annual Academy Award Party, which has since become one of the most high-profile Oscar parties in the Hollywood film industry. Since its inception, the foundation has raised over $200 million."
You ought to know what the hell you are talking about before you make such inaccurate statements, thereby making an ass of yourself.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
THIS!> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4VbOHvaPRc&feature=fvwp&NR=1 That is all.
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Kinda lame of Furnish to 2-face his way out of this, but any Madonna-bashing is OK with me these days.
LOL at the Telegraph piece - 100% British sarcasm (although I think Sorry is from 2005).
and LOL at the fact I just remembered that she was in that Basic Instinct rip off called Body of Evidence. I'd forgotten about it!!!
Lmao jelliebean!!
******************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I know Madge is pretty bloodless but she knows it, she tactful about how she files grievances. Elton just spazzes like a little whiny bitch at people publicly for no apparent reason. It's garbage. Elton is only famous for a few songs, I mean, he's not so much better than Madge and alot of his lyrics are very trite. His only redeeming quality is being liked by Elizabeth Taylor if you ask me.
Oh my lordy, this whole post is hilarious.
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 11:55am.
That's a goodie!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
♫ Laughing like children,
Living like lovers,
Rolling like thunder under the covers...♫
Woooo Hooo Nobody knows it
nobody knows it, but when I was down
I was your clown.....
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 11:05am.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 10:17am.
The album was "Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy", (which I loved as a teen when I thought Elton was straight!) was Elton's last great rock album.
Let's not forget all of "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" and "Madman Across the Water".
I'm still moist after reading the Daily Telegraph's review of WE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrmP2jFdmsw
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Doggy!!!
I am over the mooooooon with your worditudinuss AWESOMENESS!!!!!!
*tries to Vernix the shit-eating grin off mah face, but I can't do it*
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
we see Wallis dancing the Charleston with an African tribeswoman.
____________________________________________
Hmph! Wallis was a blatant racist who was comfortable using the N-word about blacks in thier OWN countries. She should have been filmed dancing with a Nazi, it would have been more accurate.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
"No woman should be deprived of peen....young, old, fat or skinny..there's someone out there who would fuck you." -Event Horiz
Submitted by Vern on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 11:25am.
*Snaps to attention*
Dog said: "VERNissage"!!!
I'll bring the batteries!!!!
^^^^^^^^
vernacle
vernacles
vernacular
vernacularisation
vernacularisations
vernacularise
vernacularised
vernacularises
vernacularising
vernacularism
vernacularisms
vernacularist
vernacularists
vernacularities
vernacularity
vernacularization
vernacularizations
vernacularize
vernacularized
vernacularizes
vernacularizing
vernacularly
vernaculars
vernal
vernalisation
vernalisations
vernalise
vernalised
vernalises
vernalising
vernalities
vernality
vernalization
vernalizations
vernalize
vernalized
vernalizes
vernalizing
vernally
vernant
vernation
vernations
vernicle
vernicles
vernier
verniers
vernissage
vernissages
vernix
vernixes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
*Snaps to attention*
Dog said: "VERNissage"!!!
I'll bring the batteries!!!!
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
the story of Romeo and Juliet, except instead of people, it's garden gnomes.
put the crackpipe down.
although I would have been interested if it were underpants gnomes like the ones that make Tweak tweak out. :D
You talked a big game, and now you want to back pedal? LAME. Elton's peice is mainly known for being Elton's peice, but I had already started the slow clap for his jealous hatery, and now he's trying to take it back?
----------------------------------
"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
dude bitched up quicker than a Jay Z song....
Jack, I'll provide the ammo.
Dirty Brown Cowboy sounds like someone who just came off a session with the difficult brown.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Yeah Stefystef, not alot of people know that about him. Well they wont if they see this film. I'm guessing it will be a full blown out sugary second coming of Zeffirelli's Romeo & Juliet. *gags*
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 10:17am.
Brilliant album as was Brown Dirt Cowboy
======
"Dammit, listen to me good" I was young and that cussing was a huge deal. Listened to it over and over.
------------
Tina Fey, please email me. We need to talk.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 10:37am.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 10:31am.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 10:23am.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 10:08am.
I still listen to Elton's old music, though.
^^^^^^^^^
Funeral For A Friend
=====================================
Levon
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If anyone mentions that song he did with Kiki Dee, they're dead.
=====
Don't Go Breaking My Heart
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Tina Fey, please email me. We need to talk.