Vanessa Bryant Hit Kobe Up And Then Some
High school guidance counselors, please dump all your college brochures into the recycling bin and update your "Have you thought about future?" speech, because having a college education, student loan bills stacked up to your ass crack and a 401k is no way to go through life. Why sit on an uncomfortable ass seat for 4 years listening to some shit you don't need to know when you can sit on some professional athlete dick and wait until he eventually screws up so you can stick your wheelbarrow under his checking account and watch it rain! Elin Nordegren already proved her her GDD (gold digger degree) shits on your PhD and Vanessa Bryant has just co-signed that.
TMZ says that after all the negotiations, my new hero Vanessa Bryant will walk away with half of her and Kobe Bryant's $150 million assets including three of their Newport Beach mansions. Vanessa's mother gets to keep her mansion and Vanessa has snatched up the mansion she lives in now and the one she and Kobe were building when she filed for divorce. Add a monthly check for child and alimony support, and Vanessa is screaming like my mom when she won $5 in the penny slots.
Okay, okay, I shouldn't say that Vanessa is completely screaming out saliva strands of happiness. I mean, her marriage did drown in a pool of rancid fuck juices Kobe made with his side hos and she was betrayed by her husband of 10 years. If you took all the money in the world, melted it into clay and molded it into an extra thick butt plug, it still wouldn't be big enough to fill the hole in Vanessa's heart. There are not enough dollar bills in the world to dry all the tears that are trickling down Vanessa's face from Kobe breaking their vows. What is coming out of my fingers? I sound like Vanessa in front of Kobe's lawyers during settlement negotiations. Bitch can fill her tear ducts with diamond gel! Bitch can buy a new heart to replace the broken one! Bitch can do anything (Helen Reddy said so!).
@ notreallyworking, you mean that section on pch near emerld bay were it says 50mph and everyone blows down it doing 80+? :D
as far as this broad goes... she earned it. She kept her mouth shut and just waited for that 10 years to kick in. Can't blame her one bit.
"Put a needle in my hand, I'm a regular Victor Van Gogh"
Dinosaur Bob
My friend lives up on the hill and all those houses are incredible. I love coming out of the Marriott resort down on to PCH. One of my favorite drives to really open it up!
"Put a needle in my hand, I'm a regular Victor Van Gogh"
Dinosaur Bob
If I was married and my hubby was banging every tart in the borough, I'd be a motherload bitch, too.
He deserved to be fleeced for his money. She was with him for 10 years, she bore his kids & he- being the dumb, pampered prick that he is -shagged anything that moved. Get that money, love!
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"He's the angriest man you'll ever meet. He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup." Noel Gallagher on his brother Liam.
All that money can't buy you a decent stylist? She always has the worst outfits. Enjoy that money girl.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Personally I think Vanessa is stupid if she doesn't sell that real estate. I'm sure during the course of the marriage Kobe's accountant took care of all the bills so she has no idea how much money it takes to maintain estate properties. Once she gets done paying property taxes, maintenance costs etc. it's going to eat through her settlement pretty quickly.
WTH happened to her? She used to be a pretty girl. Now, she looks so old for her age and those absurd implants make her look chunky.
I have always heard she was a super biotch from my friends in Southern California, so I can't say I am terribly happy for her. Kobe was such a fool 10 years ago. I can remember when my husband and I just shook our heads with so much disgust at his foolishness for not getting a prenup. I can't believe it has already been 10 flippen years.
TEAM VANESSA ALL THE WAY ON THIS ONE!! Sorry, Kobe should have learned during his rape trial that there is only so much shit any wife no matter how much notoriety or money is at stake can take, and hell yeah, she is a gold digger, but just like Elin a smart gold digger...she didn't do like Rachel Uglitell, make her living dicking married men, they made there living as trophy wives, it is not their fault that there men could not keep it in their pants and stay true to their vows and respect their kids...sorry, but felt no pity for Tiger and none at all for Kobe. Sell those houses girl...no need for three, but make out like a bandit, and live la vida loca while you can!!
Submitted by ba-buttons on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:51pm.
Funny, when my folks got divorced, my mom refused alimony.
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I declined alimony also. Best decision I ever made (although it really put a damper on my lifestyle for quite a while) - I would never want to put myself in a position where my financial well-being hinged on the hard work of another person, no matter what. I guess I have way too many issues with my pride (and ego).
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AMEN, amen, Amen to this. What I really wish is that Vanessa got to keep her house, received child support and, say, an additional $2 million. The remaining $73million of the "50% of his money" ? Put into a foundation that gives scholarships and supports medical research. Kobe deserves to lose half his money but Vanessa doesn't deserve to take it!
He should have followed in the steps of diddy and clooney. They know better.
She deserves that and more, having to deal with his arrogant ass.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
The lifestyle of the athlete is nothing new.
Back at the turn of the last century, they called it "The Sporting Life". Athletes, especially boxers, lived outlandish lifestyles. Spent lots of money, drank, gambled, had rough reputations and made good money. They were given perks and leniency all over the place.
Joe Johnson, first Black heavy-champion was that kind of man. So was Babe Ruth and others who were famous (and infamous).
In an odd way, it is expected of these athletes to live bigger-than-wife lives because they are so good at what they do... and that's making some old white man who owns a franchise very very rich. *LOL*
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
Submitted by jelliebean on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 1:24pm.
The Breakdown
Tiger had sex with the porn actress who showed up for his bachelor party, then she talked about it on web TV. He never curbed his club-sex lifestyle at all, and many times did not wear protection.
LOL, I was actually going to say he probably tricked it and dicked it, as Breaky said, with one of the banquet servers at the wedding reception, but he got an early start. Maybe she didn't have a "job job", but I bet following him around the damn country trying to keep him from boinking every woman within a 25 mile radius was a full time job. LOL @ Maya Rudolph's Vanessa Bryant on SNL: "Oh ya, well, you know what I hate? Going to my husband's rape trials."
Kobe will be just fine:
1) NEVER MARRY AGAIN! Why any ballplayer gets married during their career is beyond me.
2)Consider a vasectomy.
I can't hate on Vanessa at all...obviously she'll be ok too.Still...I'd sell those homes ASAP.Too much overhead & next to impossible to consistently rent out.
WE WANT TO HAVE KOBE'S BABY !!!!!
Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:36pm.
Submitted by chewinsmoke ...I've always had a problem with these professional athletes who make this kind of money. Granted, I understand there is an element of skill, talent, and entertainment involved, but c'mon! Kobe Bryant didn't even go to college! It's absurd to think that a high school graduate can make this ridiculous amount of money simply based on his ability to play basketball...especially when there are college graduates who can't even find a job to pay their student loans off.
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I completely agree. They live an absurd lifestyle purely for the sake of showing off. Which I find completely distasteful. And because they have no education, the majority of them don't know how to keep the money, much less make it grow. *smh*
*signs up for couponing class at local library*
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You two might have a point...except that I personally know / worked with "Ivy League" educated types who have burned through money & toys & wives in similar or more extravagant fashion.For that matter...one need only look at the collapse of our banking system & the "highly trained" / hyper compensated math quants behind it to see that education is no guarantee of competence when it come to money.Anybody making massive amounts of money these days is much like a ballplayer: They know what they know about specifically what they do.Get outside of it...and things go to hell pretty quick.Just ask John Paulson...or Jon Corzine.Steve Jobs & Bill Gates-on the other hand were college drop outs.If your argument is that ballplayers should'nt make that much money...well they would'nt if the public did'nt spend to see them.
for anyone who takes issue with the amount of money these dumb athletes make, are you boycotting the companies that advertise during the games? how many of you are sports fans that own jerseys (for whatever sport).
if you aren't boycotting and/or own ANY jersey....YOU are responsible for these salaries.
that is all.
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Miss your fucked up ways on my fucked up days.
Not bad for a girl who barely had a high school education and Kobe plucked outta Home Room so he could have a wife he could control and dominate and she would be passive and submissive.
Do I feel sorry for him? Not one damn bit. He thought he had a dumb little girl to flash around when he needed the eye candy and would keep her mouth shut when he was doing anal with chamber maids at the local Holiday Inn. HA! The little high school girl grew up and got smarter than you, ya dumb bitch!
Well, this will definitely make every man think twice before getting married. Get that lawyer, get a pre-nup. Or say bye-bye to all your money.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
Submitted by MardiGras on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 1:55pm.
Maybe she can buy a new dress with that $. Cause the one in the photo is ugleh.
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Yes, can she please go buy herself some style? She always looks BUSTED.
Sports is one of the biggest money-makers in the world, so it stands to reason that professional atheletes would make a lot of money. Doctors (for the most part), teachers, firefighters, etc, don't make that kind of money. Is it fair? No. But that's how it's always been. It's a shame, but a college education does not guarantee success. However, it's pushed on us like it's the most prestigious thing a person could achieve, but it's really a load of b.s. Most graduates enter the "real world" unemployed and debt-laden, thereby, already at a disadvantage before they even start their lives.
Vanessa Bryant just walked away with $75M and three mansions. I have a desk-job and live in a studio apt. But I have the college degree, so I must be better off. (That sounded much more hostile than I intended, but it is the truth.)
I'm only saying these things because it bothers me when people judge others for doing what they need to do. This girl's a multi-millionaire and all she had to do was sit and look pretty (and hopefully get regular STD tests.) No hate from here, I'm just taking notes.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
"all the tears that are trickling down Vanessa's face"
Actually, I think the tears are from laughing so hard at how much Kobe has to give her.
Maybe she can buy a new dress with that $. Cause the one in the photo is ugleh.
Submitted by Jeepster on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 1:15pm.
... Couldn't you just see a snobby little English butler trailing behind Kobe, and saying things like: "Really Sir - you can actually SEE the crabs on THAT one.....no no no - it simply won't DO"....
*falls out of chair*
Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:31pm.
*writes angry letter to alma mater for not having a GDD program*
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
The Breakdown
Tiger had sex with the porn actress who showed up for his bachelor party, then she talked about it on web TV. He never curbed his club-sex lifestyle at all, and many times did not wear protection. This is Holly Sampson bragging: http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=cec2cdd2-0c32-4ac2-97f9...
heres' an idea - get these mega-jocks 'Mentors" - and I do NOT mean an older, richer member of the NBA - I am thinking - English Butler - Oxford educated - sort of Sir John Gielgud in "Arthur" - not that shit with Russel Brand - the one with Dudley Moore. Couldn't you just see a snobby little English butler trailing behind Kobe, and saying things like: "Really Sir - you can actually SEE the crabs on THAT one.....no no no - it simply won't DO"....
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Submitted by ba-buttons on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:51pm.
Funny, when my folks got divorced, my mom refused alimony.
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I declined alimony also. Best decision I ever made (although it really put a damper on my lifestyle for quite a while) - I would never want to put myself in a position where my financial well-being hinged on the hard work of another person, no matter what. I guess I have way too many issues with my pride (and ego).
Mr. Chewi, on the other hand, got his ass handed to him on a silver platter. His ex gets 25% of his paycheck until he retires PLUS 30% of his pension. And she has no issues with that AT ALL.
Guess I shoulda went to gold-digga school.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
My fallopian tubes just gave me the side eye.
I have serious issues with people like celebrities and athletes making such shitloads of money, yet doctors, paramedics, cops, firefighters and teachers make shit.
Something is seriously wrong with this Country.
^^reduntant, I know.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 1:01pm.
Most of these professional athletes are dumb as rocks because they never have to lift a finger to do anything for themselves because they get waited on hand and foot. Their wives are simply to have children and get them better sponsorship deals from companies. Alot of companies like for the athletes to be married to portray a more stable environment for their consumers. Why do you think Tiger married Elin and popped out babies so quick? And he was probably trickin' and dickin' behind her back after the first year.
------Exhibit 2: Ben Rapelisberger (typo and it stays).
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"If you guessed Junie Hoang, then give yourself a slap in the face and follow it up with a punch to the eye, because that's what you get for lying." -MK
MK, I so love when your posts make me laugh out loud. This one did.
GO VANESSA! Love this story. Hate when powerful/rich people with inflated egos think they can just sh*it all over their s/o's. He got taken to the cleaners and then some.
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"If you guessed Junie Hoang, then give yourself a slap in the face and follow it up with a punch to the eye because that's what you get for lying." -MK
http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/15/kobe-bryant-vanessa-house-divorce-trading-...
Most of these professional athletes are dumb as rocks because they never have to lift a finger to do anything for themselves because they get waited on hand and foot. Their wives are simply to have children and get them better sponsorship deals from companies. Alot of companies like for the athletes to be married to portray a more stable environment for their consumers. Why do you think Tiger married Elin and popped out babies so quick? And he was probably trickin' and dickin' behind her back after the first year.
ENDORSEMENTS.
Do I think Kobe's wife deserves $75 million dollars? Yes and no. She may not have earned it directly, but she helped HIM earn it directly and had his fuckin' spawn as he stuck it in every other ho in Los Angelees county, and as some of you sluts know...
that's a BIG county!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
These freaks ought to be made to pay a "SPESHUL TAX"
how about this on the 1052:
"You make too much damn money you ignorant fool" Now add line 1 to line 2 and subtract 75% of your wages...
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
If the economy also crashed the Sports-Entertainment Complex, it would be worth it.
Funny, when my folks got divorced, my mom refused alimony.
Sorry, a wife does deserve justice during a divorce but this trick (as MK has said) just waited until the egg timer ran down and cashed in Kobe's testicles.
Don't get me wrong - Kobe is a scumbag. A fine athlete but a dim-witted, disgusting excuse for a human being.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
Vanessa is playing at The Center these days too..the center of Kobe's asshole!
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Just think about how many more millions there would have been if he hadn't lost all those endorsement deals after the rape allegations...
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The calliope crashed to the ground...
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:18pm.
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:11pm.
That is just an OBSCENE amount of money. I can't conceptualize having that much money to divide between two people.
And please don't throw me shade (okay, do if you must), but I've always had a problem with these professional athletes who make this kind of money. Granted, I understand there is an element of skill, talent, and entertainment involved, but c'mon! Kobe Bryant didn't even go to college! It's absurd to think that a high school graduate can make this ridiculous amount of money simply based on his ability to play basketball...especially when there are college graduates who can't even find a job to pay their student loans off.
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I cosign 100%. I also side-eye all the college athletes who only play in the NBA or NFL for one year, sign million dollar contracts and then end up broke. The NBA salaries are guaranteed. If you earn at least $500K, you should be able to pay off all your debt, buy a small home and start a little business and live a decent life.
Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
BLARF! All this mansion talk makes me feel barfy. I hate excess. As long as your house is big enough for you to fit a treadmill in it, then you're living the dream. IMO.
She deserves every fucking penny. For 10 years she was living someone who was fucking everything that moved and you KNOW, he didn`t wrap it up. I am glad she smartened up, realized she was worth more than that, and hope she didn`t get stuck with a little presie from one of those side-hos.
Now how do i convince this kady to give me a cut?
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Bryant's got multiple years left on his career and tens of millions more to make. Hopefully Vanessa has a brain, but let's see, she's got 75 million and three mansion to take care of? Spousal and child support aside, she might want to downsize.
Throw a ball. catch a ball, put a ball in a hole, run with a ball, hit a ball.....add some testosterone and pituitary gland issues - and Voila! You have an overpayed, under-educated sports hero.
It's all about balls - and I am glad Vanessa handed Kobe's to him on a platter - these guys are ALL POS's. They have been groomed to believe that all women are property and they are GODS.
That said, you gotta be some kind of unmentionable to stay with a man who cheats (and may have raped) just for the MONEY.
Disgusting all the way round...
People - you want to have a hero? Find someone who performs everyday kindnesses, or who is graceful under pressure...it might be a friend, or a member of your family - or it might be the poor schmuck in the cubicle next to you. Don't rely on these larger-than-life figures, they will all prove to have feet of clay (or shit in Kobe's case)
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
This puts a whole new meaning to the bball term bank shot!
Submitted by chewinsmoke ...I've always had a problem with these professional athletes who make this kind of money. Granted, I understand there is an element of skill, talent, and entertainment involved, but c'mon! Kobe Bryant didn't even go to college! It's absurd to think that a high school graduate can make this ridiculous amount of money simply based on his ability to play basketball...especially when there are college graduates who can't even find a job to pay their student loans off.
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I completely agree. They live an absurd lifestyle purely for the sake of showing off. Which I find completely distasteful. And because they have no education, the majority of them don't know how to keep the money, much less make it grow. *smh*
*signs up for couponing class at local library*
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
"No woman should be deprived of peen....young, old, fat or skinny..there's someone out there who would fuck you." -Event Horiz
Wasn't she an underage highschool student when they started fooling around, and her dad pressured Kobe into marrying her? If so, I hope Dad gets a big pay out from Vanessa. Be nice to daddy honey, he looked out for you.
they should have college classes at say 5 credits per unit on "How to fuck your way into riches". Or perhaps degrees in gold digging say "BA in fame whoring"!
So there's hope for us all, MK? Good to know. She done good for her self & the children. Still not worth the heartache, but it's something.
Your mom screaming at winning $5? Mine likes to play the nickle slots! That's where your max bet REALLY pays off. Excitement, I'll tell ya! LOL
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
*writes angry letter to alma mater for not having a GDD program*