The Recipe For Nicki Minaj's "Stupid Hoe" Video
Ingredients:
Two heaping cups of Shakira's She-Wolf video
The root from Grace Jones' iconic pussy stretch pose
1 clove of Lady Gaga's anime eyes, minced
Half a slice of RiRi's Umbrella video, cut into cubes
An entire box of Crayola pastel chalk, melted
A handful of nose cartilage, coarsely crushed
An entire bag of generic brand silicone (preferably a bag that is past its expiration date)
Directions: Throw all ingredients into one of Lil' Kim's old pink wigs, securely tie wig up with a garland of tarantula legs, throw it on the ground and pound with your ass until your jumping bowels are hitting your brain so much that you start to experience a slight epileptic seizure. Serve on a garden hoe with a Hilton-sized IQ. If a garden hoe with a Hilton-sized IQ is not available, serve on a brain dead rake. If a brain dead rake is not availabe, just serve on a Kardashian.



Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 01/22/2012 - 2:21pm.
Submitted by DaddysJoy on Sun, 01/22/2012 - 2:13pm.
I refuse to watch it. I cannot stand Nicki's Rolf from the Muppets sounding ass. And did she really say nigga monkey??? This bitch...I need someone to march on her ass.
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Yep, she said "nigga monkey".
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Just for context:
Look, Bubbles - go back to your habitat
MJ gone and I ain't havin' that
How you gonna be the stunt double to the nigga monkey
Top of that, I'm in the Phantom lookin' hella chunky
She *is* comparing her target to MJ's pet chimp; she's not saying "niggamonkey" as a specific racial slur.
Tomayto, tomahto.
It's definitely bad, but not out of step in terms of "Roman Zolanski" emissions.
By the way... where's the dubstep remix?
Now I know what it's like to fuck a crack whore on top of a cop car with its alarm going off.
Throw in a curdled dash of Nina Hagen!
tick tock, Oneka, tick tock.
I don't know who her makeup artist is but that dumb bitch has never heard of blending...The first three rules of makeup land are blend, blend, blend!
HOLY SHIT!! There should seriously be a seizure warning before watching that mess. I started twitching just watching it and almost dropped my phone.
MK's post was EPIC.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Crap.
I watched it on mute last night because my husband was asleep beside me. I couldn't get through it. I was curious from the comments how bad it sucked and just watched with the volume on. That was some phenomenal piece of shit. Is all her stuff this bad? And we now saying 'how'? (Not that I really say 'ho'.)
I really, really want to dislike her, or at the very least, be dismissive of her. And then I watched some fuse documentary about her, and I just can't...there's something about her--not this character she plays in the videos--that makes me give her a pass for this crap. She works like a dervish, and she knows the the shelf-life for this mess is mega-short...
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"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
--"The Little Prince", Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Hmmm..
This will not end well.
I'm still in letting-her-off-the-hook mode, for Fly. The song is catchy, and while the video is hokey, I love how her superhoe takes on all the ninjas.
http://youtu.be/3n71KUiWn1I
Perfect example of a talentless poser & attention whore pandering to the lowest common denomintor to get attention...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Turned it on for a few seconds and a big fat NO came out of my mouth. This shit is bottom barrel rap foolery. I like rap & hip hop but this is not it
Honestly, I've listened to some of NM's stuff on Pandora and it's not half-bad....she'd get so much more points and kudos from me though if it didn't look like drag Lady Gaga and Barbie doll impersonators combined from the late 80s barfed up all over her.
There was a video she was in with Ludacris where she only had a pink streak in her wavy black hair...her make up was normal and she actually looked pretty decent.
This attempt at avant-garde/provacateur shit makes her look like an idiot.
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"The older you get, the wiser you get...unless you're a banana!" - Rose Nylund
"HOW"
Too repetitive but I found some parts funny.
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Read Triston's Heaux-ventures as he traipses the Heaux-rient Sexpress!
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/heaux-confessionals-traispsing-t...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
“I’m Angelina you Jennifer, come on b!tch you see where Brad at”
Don't care what anyone says, that line is funny! LOVE IT!!!!!!
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"I do not drink, do drugs, or lie" --Lindsay Lohan 2007
What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Watch?!
These damn kids these days and their music, why back in my day it was just good old Satan Worshipping, loud guitars, lots of drugs, slam pits, and steel toes boots!
*Adjusts onion on belt* *Shakes tiny fist* *Yells at cloud in sky*
GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!!
I protest this defamation of innocent garden tools.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Submitted by WipeOutPutOutGetOut on Sun, 01/22/2012 - 4:58pm.
Ugh... this is exactly the sort of shit my fellow 20 somethings eat up like it's gold...
This past weekend, a friend took me to a "Big Freedia" concert. I've heard one song/seen the video "Excuse" and thought it would be fun. The show is in the vain of big butts and booty bouncing.
It was quite possibly the worst fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. It was 3 hours of booty shaking... but not good booty shaking. And the people there went fucking NUTS. I was high as a kite and I could not even get into it!!!
I think it might be a hipster thing, or maybe our dumbed down selves giving in to idiotic music...
but damn, if this is what passes for talent nowadays I can see why this country is going to the toilet.
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His music reminds me of Mr.Ghetto http://www.noob.us/entertainment/mr-ghetto-walmart/
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
A lot of kids will buy and play Nicki Minaj because it's so annoying but it will sound like someone taking a shit to them as well, soon enough.
Won't even bother clicking on the shit, but I need to comment on how fucking scary the chick looks.
Wonder if the general population finds her attractive.
Sometimes it makes me panic when I start looking at aesthetics values in our society today. This artificial shit needs a bit toned down. It's not like natural beauty has been admired in all the past 3 decades or so, seeing how it's bad business for the cosmetics/cosmetic surgery industry, but damn, it's too over the top atm.
i guess they don't have to worry about writing actual lyrics or anything.
just tell little girls they are stupid hoes over and over and over and flash lights in their eyes.
that's some Illuminati shit right there.
just saying.
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http://youtu.be/35kF7gwV0Lo
"The universe is made of stories, not atoms."
Muriel Rukeyser, poet
What a load of neon shit. Low class crap at its finest.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
MY EARS!!! How can people listen to this crap?
First thought .. what the FUCK was that?
Second thought .. try not to think about how much money this twit [and you know I wanted to say tw*t] is making off this record. Might be suicide inducing.
I thought Ke$ha was the worst POS wanna be but Nicki Minaj is giving her a run for her money. I'll toss Lana Del Rey in the mix.
Where do they find all these shitty singers?
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"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Electrique, I thought "someone doesn't want to be invited to Hollywood parties!"
Am I the only person who thought the line about Angelina, Jennifer and Brad was funny?
She needs to do what the male rappers do. Find a real singer and a good hook for choruses sandwiched in between whatever the hell it that you are doing, oh yeah, rapping.
It could have worked, but it just doesn't. I would pick it apart but it is useless. Hope she sells a million copies.
"Put a needle in my hand, I'm a regular Victor Van Gogh"
Dinosaur Bob
She has sanpaku eyes.
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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Ugh... this is exactly the sort of shit my fellow 20 somethings eat up like it's gold...
This past weekend, a friend took me to a "Big Freedia" concert. I've heard one song/seen the video "Excuse" and thought it would be fun. The show is in the vain of big butts and booty bouncing.
It was quite possibly the worst fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. It was 3 hours of booty shaking... but not good booty shaking. And the people there went fucking NUTS. I was high as a kite and I could not even get into it!!!
I think it might be a hipster thing, or maybe our dumbed down selves giving in to idiotic music...
but damn, if this is what passes for talent nowadays I can see why this country is going to the toilet.
That was just god awful. Too bad this tacky ho's mom didn't an abortion now we have to put up with this shit.
When I drive through the hood is this what I'll be seeing?
Ugh.
That song was awful and the video didn't help it. I am afraid Anna Wintour was right.
Headache inducing horrible seizure causing diarrhea...Wonder how many 911 calls weremade after viewing this shit....glad I am not prone to seizures, btw isn't this ho's 15 minutes up,she is disgusting.
WOW. This Nikki b*tch has had.SO MUCH SURGERY. Am I the only one who sees that? Cat-face is all plastic now
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"Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever" - MK
...sounds like Willow Smith to me
To paraphrase Astronaut Jones, I'd bend her over and smack that fat ass.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
Not hazzing.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
WTF!!??!!
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I will be so glad when this stupid clown's 15 minutes are up. I was never a big lil' kim fan, but I did like about 2 of her songs and she was never as revolting as thing is!
So she's a stupid garden tool! Interesting....
This song sucked!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
If I was Lil Kim right now, I would laughing my ass off at Nicki's failure rather than retaliate b/c the song and video speaks for itself.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
This is what happens when you give the background whore in the rap video a record deal.
This is what happens when you give the background whore in the rap video a record deal.