Uggie Leads The Nominations Of Hos Who Were Robbed Of An Oscar Nomination
Tilda Swinton, ROBBED! Uggie the Dog, ROBBED! Michael Fassbender’s big dick, ROBBED! Almodovar, ROBBED! Emma Stone’s thirsty, busted, five cent curly fries wig from The Help, ROBBED! The diarrhea pie from The Help, ROBBED! The Help for Best Movie That Should’ve Been On The Hallmark Channel Instead, ROBBED! That satin scorpion jacket Ryan Gosling wore all through Drive, ROBBED! The guy behind me who snored all through Tree of Life for Most Appropriate Soundtrack, ROBBED! The ROBBED list goes on and on and on….
Jennifer Lawrence, who I’m pretty sure was asleep during the whole thing, and some token old white dude presented the Oscar nominations this morning and most of them were to be expected (Streep, Clooney, Pitt, Williams, The Artist for pretty much everything) but there were a few HUHS? and surprises like Jonah Hill, Nick Nolte, Melissa McCarthy, The Help for Best Movie and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Oscar Baity for Best Movie. If Extremely Loud wins, the only person they need to thank is Marky Mark, because if he was on one of those 9/11 plans, their movie would’ve never existed!
AnytheyareallgoingtohellfornotnominatingTilda, the full nomination list is after the jump and even though there’s a lot of gold-plated fuckery here, I love that the Oscar dude showed Madge and Elton John who the real bitch queen is by shutting both of them out. JUMP!
BEST PICTURE
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
Warhorse
BEST ACTRESS
Glenn Close, Alfred Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, Iron Lady
Michelle Williams, My Week
BEST ACTOR
Demián Bichir, A Better Life
George Clooney, The Descendants
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The Help
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Max von Sydow, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Artist – Michel Hazanavicius
Bridesmaids – Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumulo
Margin Call – J.C. Chandor
Midnight in Paris – Woody Allen
A Separation – Asghar Farhadi
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Descendants – Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, and Jim Rash
Hugo – John Logan and Brian Selznick
Ides of March – George Clooney, Grant Heslov, and Beau Willimon
Moneyball – Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin, and Stan Chervin
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – Bridget O’Connor and Peter Straughan
CARTOON MOVIE
A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango
FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Bullhead (Belgium)
Footnote (Israel)
In Darkness (Poland)
Monsieur Lazhar (Canada)
A Separation (Iran)
BEST DIRECTOR
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorcese, Hugo
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Terence Malik, The Tree of Life