Brad Pitt Is A LIIIIIAAAAAR!
Prepare yourself to know what it feels like to never trust anything that comes out of Brad Pitt's mouth again (because I know that up until this point you hugged every word that came out of Brad Pitt's mouth with warm arms of trust). Brad Pitt has regularly declared before the gay gods (aka a sculpture of Rojo Caliente riding a Liberace unicorn centaur down a flannel rainbow) that he will never slip a wedding band on Angie Jo's bony finger until everybody in the U.S. can get married. Well, the bitch is a teller of lies.
As you and your same-sex partner wait at City Hall until it's legal for you to file a marriage certificate, the asshole who vowed to stand with you until the end will whisk on by with his zombie vampira skeleton bride and cut in front of the line. RIGHT IN YOUR BETRAYED FACE. Because Brad tells The Hollywood Reporter that he's probably going to break his promise by becoming Angie's third husband:
"We’d actually like to, and it seems to mean more and more to our kids. We made this declaration some time ago that we weren’t going to do it till everyone can. But I don’t think we’ll be able to hold out. It means so much to my kids, and they ask a lot. And it means something to me, too, to make that kind of commitment.I’m not going to go any further. But to be in love with someone and be raising a family with someone and want to make that commitment and not be able to is ludicrous, just ludicrous.”
I'm going to force myself to not get hypnotized by the fact that Brad's goatee looks like an upright grandpa stache and an upside-down grandpa stache holding hands over a soul patch, because there's more important matters at hand (not really). Brad has just proven that he cares about keeping his commitments as much as he cares about finding a shampoo for extra oily hair. (Seriously, Brad, it's not hard. Just ask someone at Sally's Beauty.) If Brad rips the notary stamp off the promise he made to gays and gayelles, how can Angie Jo trust that he won't rip the notary stamp off the marital bowels (Oh, Freud, I love it when you trip me) he makes to her? Oh, wait.
• 
Ah, the desperate smell of an Oscar campaign!
Who gives cares what he has to say.
NEXT.
BUT BRADFORD YOU SAID THAT YOU WOULD STAND ALONGSIDE ME AND MY DAD AT CITY HALL! SCOUNDREL!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Do people really care about this crap? WILL THEY GET MARRIED OR WON'T THEY OMG I CAN'T TAKE THE SUSPEzzzzzzzzzz
Pepaw Pitt. Lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I’m not going to go any further. But to be in love with someone and be raising a family with someone and want to make that commitment and not be able to is ludicrous, just ludicrous.”
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then why the fuck havent you done it yet? i think he just likes to troll the loonies. and you keep the good name of ludacris out of this, brad!
Gee, does this gave anything to do with the fact that Butt Boy got a nomination and now needs to push the publicity forward for the win???
I'm thinking this is one of those weeks where Skankelina is feeling like she wants to get married, so Butt Boy dutifully falls in line. Soon, she'll be disparaging marriage again and he'll back off his comments about wanting to get married. It's never been about what HE wants. Duh.
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well, at least he's looks pretty and not high and busted like he normally does.
I will never understand what people see in bony broads that have 90 degree angles where there hips should be.
Remember FOHO Shampoo?
Commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb9cXYo3JkU
They should bring this shizz back on the market. Brad could be the spokesmodel.
Do.Not.Care.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Ha, looks like "Sad Aniston" stole his Rolex.
It's amazing how much he lies in this interview. He claims he quit smoking pot in the late 90's even though he's been high this entire time. Even Tarantino says so. God knows how much he lied about cheating on Aniston. But my favorite part has to be when Brad claims he started caring about poor people on a trip to Morocco in the late 90's, but then for some inexplicable reason he didn't start helping them for another FIVE YEARS!!! Those examples are enough reason not to believe anything that comes out of his fucking mouth.
The man is a lying douche and the marriage thing is just a way to string the loons along. If they wanted to get married so badly they would have done it. QUIETLY. This way, they maximize the PR and the loons lap hat shit up. It's just fucking gross at this point. And seriously, I want to know why it took him another five years to help people since he now claims he started caring in the late 90's.
but Brad..you said!! YOU SAID, BRAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I...I'm so confused :'(
WHERE DO THE LIES END?
WHERE DOES THE TRUTH BEGIN?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.