So Xtina Sang “At Last” At Etta James’ Funeral Today…

Let that screen shot be the warning label you need to stuff pieces of egg crate into your ear holes and hit the mute button on your laptop (Note: You can still hear Xtina’s “soprano walrus giving birth while getting ass fucked without lube in a moving wind tunnel” yodel even with the mute button on).

Etta James was laid to rest in L.A. today and Xtina was invited by her family to sing “At Last” in front of mourners who should really get their knuckles chewed off for bringing their cell phones out at a damn funeral. I’m surprised their screens didn’t shatter into a million pieces when Xtina’s throat pushed out a sonic boom. My dog is still clinging to the ceiling and my ear drums are still lying at the opposite side of the room from listening to that last note. I swear it’s like her voice is hanging on a bungee cord. Bitch’s voice runs in circles, jumps up, hits the floor and does all sorts of cartwheels. It’s like an acrobatic dog on the strongest kind of speed. Bitch SANG and it’s a shame she didn’t sing the orange off of her skin, because she’s a few shades away from looking like a deep fried Cheeto and we all know what happens to deep fried Cheetos: they end up in the gulch of a Spears.

And Etta can finally rest in peace now that Xtina and her chichis are finished hollerin’ and shit. But I do love open air titties in church.

UPDATE: Thanks to all of you who pointed out the shit trickling down Xtina’s leg and in my professional opinion it’s either:

a) Bitch is yelling her fake tanner off and the sweat caused it to run
b) Bitch’s asshole is crying tears of shit, because she’s clenching it so hard
c) Bitch pulled a Fergie
d) Bitch’s pussy lips wore red lipstick too and it was starting to slobber off
e) Bitch is trying so hard that her tampon popped out and the bloody red river of embarrassment came streaming down