QOTD: Smoking Crack Turned Courtney Love Into A Regular Sir Isaac Newton
The Fix's Maer Roshan spent months inside of Courtney Love's head poking at the malnourished rats, putting out the trash can hobo fires and trying to make sense of the scribbled thoughts that her brain spits out. Maerwrote an article last May about his time with Courtney, but there were so many strands of fuckery that didn't make the article so he used them in a new e-book on her. Even though Courtney threatened to ruin his ass, Maer still went through his old notes, interviewed people in her life and read legal documents to put the book together. There's some priceless pieces of it on The Fix, but one of my favorite is a quote from Courtney where she says crack transformed her brain into that of a calculus genius:
“The strange thing is, while the crack screwed me up in a lot of ways, it improved me in certain others. I’ve never been good with numbers, but when I was on crack I could do math really, really well. I became a fucking whiz at calculus.”
This ho is crazy, but what I want to know is, when does Courtney Love ever come in contact with calculus. Like did she have calculus books laying around? You know how Snapple has facts written on their caps? Does a bag of crack rocks come with a mathematical problem? I can just picture Courtney scribbling all sorts of shit on the wall like numbers, shapes, Looney Tunes characters, the middle names of her enemies and thinking to herself that she's really making calculus her bitch when she's actually just drawing a bunch of gibberish. Calculus? More like Crackulus. Courtney is like the crackhead Good Will Hunting and I really hope Matt Damon plays her in the movie.
With all that being said, I still wish Courtney was the Secretary of Education when I was in school, because then smoking crack would've been part of our daily math curriculum! I still would've failed math, but at least I could've been fucked up on crack while doing so.
via HuffPo
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"Does a bag of crack rocks come with a mathematical problem?" LMFAO!!!! too funny.
Given that the crack gives her delusions of competence and she has prolly spent an wadge of cash on supplies I can easily suspect her record company of wrongdoing as well. Are they not minions of the shhhh ... (Illuminati??). There is no doubt lots rotten with her finances thanks to her increased inability to take care of herself thanks to all that "calculus".
Submitted by jackie on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 9:28pm.
Lmao at heckler
No my mom was born in 1959 so she spent her teenage years in the 70s and her 20s in the 80s, all very interesting times for the drug scene. I know my mom isn't really a crackie but Courtney love statement made me think of that.
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Thanks for having a sense of humor and for the explanation! Well, unlike that middle-aged lady who was taking offense for nothing more than her own lack of reading comprehension.
Uh....er....beautiful dress?
Love,
Mabel
Submitted by Patricia Morgan on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 8:12am.
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I hear you but it's not just her record deal it's also a very complex deal involving Nirvana's catalouge as well. With digital music downloads and such it's a hell of a lot harder to track than ever before. Bands and people in their right minds have a hard enough time getting someone to help them out never mind having a nutbar crack head as a client so the fact she doesn't have lawyers lining up to help her doesn't surprise me at all. These cases take a long time and I can't imagine there are that many people that specialize in this type of accounting. Don't get me wrong I know she's pissed a shitpot away on drugs and I know she's a crazy as a shithouse rat but as I say if ever you were going to rip someone off she'd be the perfect target.
This woman should be committed. Seriously. I KNEW she was a hoarder! Neglecting and causing death to pets because of her hoarding is absolutely reprehensible. It must have been like living in a loonie bin. No wonder Frances disowned her.
Idk Whamo. I don't doubt that other artists have been ripped off but I don't think that's the case with Court. Realistically how many albums has she really sold? Not that many on top of that is the possibility that she just signed a bad deal. That happens all the time and when you're blowing your money on drugs it can go quite quickly. Although since she is soooo good with numbers whilst hitting that crack pipe, you would figure she would have brokered herself a better deal. As far as no one investigating that because they don't believe her, I don't buy it. If there is a lawyer that believed Casey Anthony is innocent of murder how hard can it be to convince a forensic accountant that Courtney Love isn't out of her mind? Personally, if someone was stealing millions from me, I wouldn't lay down and take it. She talked non-sense to the media about it, but that's about all she did.
I'm sure she meant dental calculus.
y'know, from not brushing her teeth and whatnot...
We all know Courtney is well Courtney BUT I also know that record companies and some band's managment can also be the biggest thieving bunch of fuckers you ever laid your eyes on. Courtney's accusations are just one of a hundred that various artists have claimed over the years and many many many of them have been proven correct and they were in fact ripped off.
Courtney would be the BEST person to rip off because who the fuck is going to believe her? You could steal every single penny she had and no one would believe it or give a shit. I know she's a whack job but I for one actually believe her when she says she's being ripped off.
Maybe she needs a big hit of crack to do the forensic accounting but nevertheless if she could get someone on her side to do the work I'll bet you dollar to doughnuts she right on this one thing.
so all i had to do was smoke crack to get a 1600 on my SAT? shit. now ya tell me.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
what is it with that dress ? she's like the third one i've seen wearing it. except the other two don't look like they've just gotten done giving Hobo Joe a handy J for a bummed cigarette.
http://www.peoplestylewatch.com/people/stylewatch/gallery/0,,20159269,00...
Uh huh. I think by crack she means meth and by calculus she means calculating the millions of dollars drug dealers, I mean "people" have stolen from her. Oh to live in the land of delusions.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/americas/6355254/Legal-twist-boyfriend-adop...
Given what a drug addict she is, I thought by now she'd either be hooking or dead...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
If she does calculus cracked, she must have been stone cold sober when she got the underarm tattoo - right Court?
Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 10:09pm.
Thank you. I asked you for advice once, and you gave it. It worked. You have a generous spirit.
How on earth did this man possibly find enough of interest
in Court's life to write a book? Isn't a typical day for her:
*wake..grunt..piss..snort..smoke..cough..fart..
whine..scratch..drink..burp..snort..fall..shit..
cry..drink..trip..nap..snort..smoke..scratch..
piss..DO-FUCKEN-CALCULUS???..sleep*
*repeat*
A book? Wtf, yeah right! LOL! Get your shit together first!
"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK
It says in the article that it was Maer Roshan...
anyhoo, never heard of The Fix.
Kind of blown away that MK would be familiar with it. Doesn't seem to have rubbed off any!
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 7:22pm.
Terri -- Topamax fucked you up? Jesus! My doctor just put me on that for my frequent headaches and just increased my dosage. So far, so good. Then again, I'm on a heavy-duty anti-depressant, so maybe it's keeping the crazies at bay.
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Yes, and I would also just wander around, forget to do important things (you know, like go to work). I would actually just start something and forget to stop. I would vaccum my house for 2 hours, or scrub the tub for 45 mins. It was weird.
I was the Southern version of Kim Richards, without the gay bull mastiff. So please be careful with that stuff!
Christine and Fleass, you guys define the word SURVIVOR and you are heroes! :)
"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK
Thanks to all of my sweet hearts!
Yes, my avvie is dreamboat petey, the patron saint of smelly asshloes. lol. and yes, anyone who has made it through addiction like I did is entitled to be helped, if you need me , just contact me, I will do what I can for you, and I mean it.
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Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Submitted by MrsPotatoHead on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 8:52pm.
christine and Fleass, you're both amazingly strong women. Sorry for what you've been through, but kudos for making it out the other side.
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^^^This x 1000!!
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...the end
Hoffer... I love you, sweetie... and you know this. BIG ((((((HUGS)))))))
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Hurrah for CTH!!! Well said!
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I love you, is all that you can say
Years gone by and still, words don't come easily
Like I love you, I love you
Christine, I am so proud of you!!! Awesome getting your child back.
MJT!!!! Please take note!!!
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
I loved some "Celebrity Skin" back in the day, but she's smoked and snorted all her talent away and alienated her only child because of her unchecked ego. Grow up.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Lmao at heckler
No my mom was born in 1959 so she spent her teenage years in the 70s and her 20s in the 80s, all very interesting times for the drug scene. I know my mom isn't really a crackie but Courtney love statement made me think of that.
Who turned on the italics switch??? Shut if ooooooofff!
I'm getting font vertigo.
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eta: awww. that's better.
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this reminds me of the part in prozac nation when elizabeth wurtzel wrote about wanting to memorise gray's anatomy while on cocaine. her plan was to memorise it and then apply to med school.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 8:00pm.
This is your brain on drugs: *image of kid doing calculus*
this is true if it's cannabis. carl sagan was brilliant and he was a stoner.
Kurt Cobain
christine and Fleass, you're both amazingly strong women. Sorry for what you've been through, but kudos for making it out the other side.
Thanks mahaatma and KA. How the effe did I ever think that was Dan Radcliff?
Submitted by Cake666 on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 8:14pm.
"Oh look at me doing math!"...30min later: "Where is all Curt's money?!"
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^^^^^Truth lmao
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...the end
this looks like one of those jersey shore shots..like im at a Bon- Jovi concert
christine the hoff you're my fucking hero.
and her avie is dreamboat -how is one not familiar with his beauty and charm?!
@ Gardening Girl:
In case Christine is gone for the night, her avie is a totally fucked up Pete Doherty... please correct me anyone if I'm wrong..
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I'm like herpes... I may disappear for awhile but you can NEVER get rid of me!
Christine-- my husband hung himself and of course I found him. I will never forget what that looks like.
Ahahaaa! Loved this post. lmao at "Crackulus"
Um, do I smell delusional spirit?
Giving the finger is so Newton-esque. (sarcasm font)
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I've got to hand it to her: she always comes up with some new way of entetaining me. I just love the cray crays. They fucking fascinate me.
She's been self-medicating all this time. And I think she's sort of brilliant at the same time I think she is really mentally ill.
"Oh look at me doing math!"...30min later: "Where is all Kurt's money?!"
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
This is your brain on drugs: *image of kid doing calculus*
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Please: It's "rahnday."
PS Christine, who is your avie. For some reason it looks like Dan Radcliff to me.
Submitted by Mama Bear on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 6:46pm.
Submitted by TheHeckler on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 6:33pm.
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Your mom grew up in the 80s and is a math prof/lecturer at a college? Was she also a teen mom?
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I grew up in the 70's and 80's and I'm 45, old enough to be the Mama Bear of an adult without having been a teen mom. You need some crack to improve your math skills.
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What? I wasn't suggesting that at all. Hypothetically if Jackie's mother grew up in the 80s (say a kid) and she has a PhD now and is a lecturer then she would be young. Mid 30ish and yet still have a child old enough to visit and comment regularly on dlisted.
My comment had more to do with her mother's academic achievement being youngish still . . . and yet I would assume that Jackie is at least in her late teens or twenties.
Still, it was a joke! Take it easy.
I don't need to do crack to learn math. You don't need crack either because it won't help your reading skills.
Christine, you have been through alot. I am glad you came out of that and I am sure that you will continue to be a strong woman. I send you good wishes and I also like reading your comments.
Submitted by mahaatma on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 7:37pm.
thanks
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Screw you guys, I'm going home!
If you sat her down with a crackpipe and a calculus book the calculus book would give up and let her win.
Christine the hoff is my hero... Always has been.
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I'm like herpes... I may disappear for awhile but you can NEVER get rid of me!
IF YOU BELIVE THE PUT A MAN ON THE MOON.
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Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Submitted by The Beaver on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 6:53pm.
I, like anyone else with a brain, honestly believe she's shot/snorted/haute-coutured way her money, instead of the crazy theories she tried to sell us on. However, I wonder if Frances has any relationship/connection with Dave and Krist, as I assume she's got *something* coming from Nirvana, INC, as they do (maybe it's not directly from Nirvana, but via a trust set up for her that was "Courtney-proof")... I don't think (again I could be wrong) I've seen her lash out about them? I know. None of my business, but yeah.... Curiosity.
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According to this article: Smells Like Teen Spirit writer Kurt shot himself dead in April 1994 aged 27, making widow Courtney owner of 98 per cent of Nirvana's grunge catalogue.
The band have sold more than 62million albums worldwide, with classic album Nevermind selling ten million copies.
His estate rakes in £21million every year, with most going into a trust fund for their daughter Frances Bean, now 14.
Courtney lost control of her finances as she struggled with drug addiction, and sold 25 per cent of the catalogue two years ago.
I remember reading somewhere else that Courtney was pissed because FB was living in a mansion and the estate was doling out half a million a year to her.